On this blistering day, a Colonel brings his troops southwards to cross a border.
A one chapter experiment to try and get better at show and not tell.
Thanks to Stinium_Ruide for helping proofreading and editing this.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 12th Apr, 2018
- offline last seen 2 hours ago
TerribleSpeller
It's say, do, or both in this world. It's either hate or love daily things. It's either be a follower, a contributor, or a leader. It's either do, or die. So, what are you gonna do?
TerribleSpeller
Joined 12th Apr, 2018 ·
Offline
Sequels1
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TerribleSpeller · 1.3k words · 65 views
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I didn't really notice anything annoying or incorrect, rather liked it and this lil world seems pretty good for another one-shot if you're willing to do some more world building
bleh my brain skipped over this, you did pretty well. I don't know what to exactly point at as a example besides when the colonel speaks with the checkpoint Guards, waiting for one's deck of cards to fold
11669337
Hey thanks for the input!