Anon in the hospital
“No!!!” Anon sobbed.
Forcibly reclined on a hospital bed, with both his hind legs and left front leg wrapped in plaster, he held the remains of his beloved hot tub in his last functioning limb. His wails of sorrow could be heard across the royal ward.
Which he shared solely with Twilight, who like Anon had plastered lower legs and an eyepatch covering her left eye.
Looking over to his fellow royal Anon continued to sob.
“It should have been you,” he cried.
Unamused at the whole situation, Twilight simply read her book. Aware that Anon was simply going through a mixture of grief and an overdose of morphine. Due to the thestral mistaking it for coke and trying to drink it.
“King Anon, your family is here to visit” Redheart said, leading Cream Heart, Button, Albus, the twins and Rosa in.
“Hi Anon, you doing ok?” Button asked.
“My beloved hot tub is gone! I was this close to solving world hunger Button, I WAS THIS CLOSE!” Anon cried, holding his hoof up. Of course none of them knew what he was trying to do, because ponies don’t have fingers.
“Still, at least my family came to support me in these trying times,” Anon said, sniffling slightly.
He really fucking loved that hot tub.
“I’m just here to see if you’re dead or not,” Rosa said coldly.
“Aw, worried about your dear old papa?” Anon asked, hoping his genocidal adopted daughter was concerned for his health.
“No” she shut him down.
She loves him deep down. VERY deep down. Under a ten foot wall of lead.
“As I am, on paper only, your daughter I have a claim to your throne, if you die I get an empire. Magehold has been a little cramped for a while now” she explained.
Cream Heart quickly moved her children a hoof step away from the necromancer.
“You don’t have to pretend for me Rosie, I can feel the anguish you have seeing me in this state” Anon dismissed her cold attitude.
“I think you’ve just run out of painkillers,” Rosa corrected.
Looking at the empty morphine drip Anon realised that’s probably where the pain in his legs is coming from.
“Ah, that explains it” Anon said.
“But never mind my incredible pain, we have more pressing matters to discuss” Anon explained.
“That’s right, who’d want to try and kill you?” Cream Heart asked.
“Do you want the short list or the long?” Twilight asked in a sarcastic tone.
“I know where you keep your Twilestia fanfics” Anon threatened.
“What’s Twilestia?” Button asked.
“You’ll find out when you’re older” Anon stated.
“But” Button tried to protest.
“When you’re older,” Anon insisted.
“I think I know,” a new voice said.
Walking into the ward, Princess Celestia and Luna looked on in shock at the state of the newest princess and the bad smell she hadn’t been able to shake off.
“Princess! H-how long have you been standing there?” Twilight asked nervously. The secret of her massive fanfic collection is now in danger.
“I just got here in time to hear ‘who'd want to try and kill you?” She explained.
“Who is the target of my wrath?” Anon asked, his voice becoming an uncharacteristic level of seriousness.
“Considering its origins, it’s possible that the Saddle Arabian royal family or at least those loyal to them are behind this” Celestia suggested.
“That’s it, get me seven Boeing B-52 and several cruise missiles. It’s operation desert storm time” Anon stated, confusing everyone what a Boeing B-52 was.
“Now Anon it’s just a theory, I strongly advise against any retaliation until we know for certain” Celestia warned.
“They blew up my hot tub!” Anon argued.
“And almost killed us” Twilight reminded him.
“Not now Twiggles the monarchs are talking” Anon dismissed her rightful concerns.
“What did you do to make Saddle Arabia hate you?” Rosa asked, having spent most of the conversation intensely glaring at Celestia.
“I honestly have no idea,” Anon suggested.
“Anon you called their Queen a milf to her face” Luna stated bluntly.
“And I was right!” Anon argued.
“Excuse me, what?” Cream Heart asked. Wondering if she’d need to smack him or not.
“Don’t worry it was way before we met” Anon explained.
“Mom, what's a milf?” Button asked.
“A fact,” Anon answered lookin Cream in the eyes.
“Perhaps talking about this in front of the children was a mistake. We’ll come back later hun” Cream said, planning a kiss on Anon’s forehead.
Carrying the foals off, Rosa followed shortly behind. Still glaring at the princesses.
“Anon I don’t trust that unicorn” Luna stated.
“She’s fine, she’s just quirky” Anon dismissed their worries.
“She's the leader of a city of the undead,” Luna pointed out.
“I can fix her,” Anon argued.
Looking to Twilight then back to Anon, Celestia let out a heavy sigh.
“Anon, it’s wonderful that you’re giving ponies a chance, but promise me you won’t be disappointed if it turns out she doesn’t plan to change” Celestia asked.
“I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it, until then I’m giving those weirdos every chance to be a part of the Empire. Speaking of which reminds me, stop letting all those goth mares into my borders” Anon said, his voice turning from calm to agitated halfway through.
The princesses were well and truly confused by his second sentence.
“I’m sorry, what?” Celestia asked. Completely unaware of what the fuck he was talking about.
“Ever since Magehold got here there’s been a steady stream of teenage goth mares coming into my territory hoping to get bit by vampires or some shit. It’s making everyone uncomfortable and they keep mistaking the thestrals for vampires. Half my court is filled with complaints because some mare walked up to a thestral and asked to be their ‘eternal slave of the night’ if one more mare sexually harasses my subjects I’m putting up a wall!” Anon explained.
This was… truly disturbing to Celestia and Luna.
“So… young mares actually WANT to get bitten by vampires?” Celestial asked.
The concept seemed… weird to her. Vampires had always been feared throughout most of Equestrian history, the sudden tone shift made the Princess of the Sun uncomfortable.
“Something is deeply wrong with thy generation Anon” Luna stated.
“You’re telling me, I’ve had to employ extra janitors to clean up the trails of drool they’re leaving behind. At least I’m praying to every god in human history that it’s drool” Anon explained.
“There is another issue here, the ghouls” Twilight pointed out.
“Yeah what about them?” Anon asked.
“Vampires need blood to survive and ghouls need flesh, especially brains to maintain their intelligence. Without a fresh supply of both they will turn on the crystal ponies” she warned.
“I’m working on it” Anon stated.
“Oh really?” Luna asked doubtfully.
“Luna” Celestia said sternly.
“Before the tragic loss of my beloved hot tub I was implementing a blood bank system, that way they won’t go nuts and try to bite the population who aren’t into that shit. As for the ghoul situation I’ve been in contact with some nerds from Canterlot-“ Anon began before Twilight interrupted him.
“Esteemed magic researchers” she corrected.
“Some NERDS from Canterlot about the possibility of artificially grown brains. I’ve already agreed to give them a generous grant to start researching it. Short term wise I’m still figuring that out but from what Rosa has told me their stores are large enough to sustain them for now” Anon continued.
Surprised by the shere competence Anon was showing Celestia couldn’t help but smile. He genuinely looked as if he was growing from a madstallion into a properly matured leader.
“Now about war with Arabia” Anon said, undoing all the newly enshrined faith she had in him.
“Anon you’re not invading Saddle Arabia. I'm going to visit them myself, see if this is true, then you and their royals are going to sit down and talk this out like adults” Celestia shut him down.
“You can’t tell me what to do, you're in my castle!” Anon protested.
“Yes, and you’re in a cast” Celestia stated.
Looking down at his immobile state Anon glared at Celestia.
“You win this round you cake stuffing horse” he said reluctantly.
Leaving a series of get well soon gifts on both their bedsides, the princesses left Twilight and Anon alone for a while.
“So… have the girls visited?” Anon asked.
“Yes, luckily you took the full brunt of the blast, they visited while you were asleep” Twilight explained.
“Good good” Anon said, mentally twiddling his thumbs.
Silence continued to penetrate the room for a while, only the sound of Twilight flipping pages in her book being heard.
“So you’re a princess now, how’s that working out for you?” Anon asked.
“It’s fine” she responded with a neutral tone.
Using his vast knowledge of the female sex Anon could tell everything was indeed not fine. Mostly because whenever he’s been told that in the past it was followed with a break up or a mugging.
“Twiggles~” Anon said in a sing song voice.
Ignoring him, Twilight continued to read her book.
“Twily”
“Twily”
“Twily”
“Twily”
“Twily”
“Twily”
“Twily”
“Twily”
“Twily”
“WHAT!?” She yelled.
“Tell me what’s wrong?” Anon insisted.
Knowing she’d make her own legs worse trying to move closer to choke him, and having her magic drained from recovering, Twilight had to admit she lost.
“I- I guess that deep down, I feel like I’m not cut out to be the Princess of Friendship. Its only been a few years since I got friends so I feel like I’m not ready to help all of Equestria with their friendships” Twilight monologued.
Feeling a kindred spirit, Anon thought how he could make her feel better.
“Twilight, our destiny very rarely comes when we’re ready for it. But we can’t escape it” he said.
“I know” she sighed, his efforts doing very little to improve her mood.
“Ok that didn’t work, let’s try a diffrent approach” Anon thought to himself.
“Listen, there are three kinds of people, those who were born great, Alexander, Augustus, then there are those who had greatness thrust upon them, Winston Churchill, Teddy Roosevelt, and finally there are those who are a mixture of both like me” Anon monologued.
Giving him the stone face treatment Twilight wasn’t buying it.
“What I’m trying to say is for better or worse you are who you are. And I’m sure that if you believe in yourself and lean in your friends, you’ll go on to do great things” Anon finished.
Slowly, a smile crept on to Twilight’s face. Her previously sad and doubtful apperance melting away.
“Thanks Anon, you’re good at these speeches you know?” Twilight thanked.
“I have my moments” Anon responded.
“Even if they are few and far between” Twilight giggled jokingly.
“I have enough movement to OD you on morphine while you sleep” Anon stated.
Still not sure if he was joking or not.
“Heeeeeeeeeey Anon” Cadance said nervously as she slid into the ward.
“Hey Cadence,” Anon greeted.
“I was trying to fill in for you but we hit a snag” Cadence explained.
“I’m sorry what?” Anon asked.
“Well I was trying to hold court but all they wanted to talk about was the mares that keep coming her due to the vampires moving in so I tried to steer us back on track but they kept pushing and I kind of accidentally banned any pony entering he country in a fit of stress. You good with that key bye!” Cadence explained before disappearing in a could of pink smoke.
“Wait what?” Anon asked, not getting an answer from the fleeing princess.
“My family is so messed up” Twilight admitted.
“It could be worse, you could have married me back when I was going to be deported” Anon said, making her feel slightly better.
AN: had to rewrite the ending due to a timeline error. Flurry isn’t meant to be born until season 5 I think and Tirek hasn’t shown up yet.
Stats
Page generated in 0.016 seconds
Total duration
964 users online
1,301,975 hits today, 2,244,100 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Well at least they aren't in freezing north anymore so that is some good news. It might take some work to fix the heart or find out how it was made but at least not life and death this time. And someone get that guy a new hot tub so he will keep his smarts for the sake of the world.
Honestly I am starting to question how many mares will love and probably married him at this point.
Your,take that auto correct off
11662516
Fixed it
This is the best part of the whole chapter. Twilight fan-girls were a serious blight back in the day. And I'm not talking about the MLP Twiggle fans. Things got weirder than a book by H.P. Lovecraft. It was a war crime of cruel and unusual punishment. School cafeteria "pizza" was less offensive than them!!!
great chapter
Plot Twist: At that moment, Twiggles decided she wanted to marry Anon along with Creamheart...
(Hehe... Plot... Twist...)
Twilight:
11662557
And so very many teenage 'relationships' were ended thanks to the line, "Why can't you be more like ________ from Twilight?"
...
...
...
That reminds me, I haven't watched Foamy the Squirrel in a few years.
11662709
That most likely gotta happen would that make her queen than better than princess if you ask me.
Cadence is becoming more like Anon every time she hangs out with him.
11668612
It’s spreading
Brains,.,,
Isn't Tirek supposed to show up so Twi can achieve success?
different
Anon is a mastermind in the making, screw the timeline we have Anon!