Home Again
“So she broke the Crystal Heart” Twilight asked, looking on in horror at the pile of shards that was once the Crystal Heart. Unianon still frantically trying to glue it back together.
“Frankly I’m just happy we aren’t still in the north, the flurry would have wiped us off the map.
“Flurry, Heart. I kind of like the sound of that, Flurry Heart it is then” Cadence said, nuzzling the alicorn foal resting in her hooves.
“You want to name your child after a theoretical genocide she might have caused? I love it” Anon agreed, having finally found a pony who spreads chaos as much as he does.
“So how do we fix it?” Applejack asked “it’s not like y’all can just find a new one”
“Don’t worry, as always I have a plan” Anon said, making every lifeform that wasn’t an Anon very worried.
“Me and the other Anons are going on a quest to find the seven dragon balls to wish for the heart to be fixed, tell Cream she’s in charge until we get back” Anon explained.
“Anon the dragon balls aren’t real” Twilight reminded him.
“Oh crap I forgot that” Peganon said.
“A single flaw in an otherwise perfect plan” Ponanon sighed.
“So what are we going to do?” Changeanon asked.
“First I’d like to know HOW this happened, I was gone for a few days and you guys were right here” Anon asked, looking at his five counterparts.
“Well, it was a normal day. We woke up, we planned the conquest of Stalliongrad-“ Unianon started.
“WHAT!?” Everyone else yelled.
“Don’t worry it’s entierly theoretical” Peganon explained.
“We’re waiting for them to make the first move” Zebanon backed up.
“Anyways, Cadence had some shit to do in Canterlot about the mass of marital issues that we may have created by spiking the punch at your wedding” he continued.
“I still need some more of that potion when you have the time” Shining whispered to Anon.
“Limp dick?” Anon whispered.
“Horny wife” Shining corrected.
“Ah, been there”
“But Shining, who was looking after the baby, had a guard emergancy, also Canterlot, so Cream was left in charge of said baby. I said I’d watch her for a minute while she went to pick up Button. Strong Teeth tried to eat me, Albus turned into a lamp for a little while, String Theroy somehow got INSIDE the Crystal Heart and Flurry shot it trying to get her out” Unianon explained.
The room went silent for a minute or two. Everyone trying to process the convoluted nonsense he was spewing.
Other than Pinkie, who seemed to understand it perfectly.
“So if anything this is all Cadence and Shining’s fault” Anon accused.
“Our fault!” The couple yelled in an offended tone.
“You’re the ones who left their baby alone with FIVE Anons around” Anon reminded them.
“I left her with Shining” Cadence stated, glaring at her husband.
“And I left her with Cream” Shining defended.
“And she left her with me because she has her own foals to look after, so when it all loops back it’s still on you two” Unianon argued.
“Enough!” Twilight snapped, making both groups flinch.
“We can argue all day or we can fix the heart” she said, giving an ultimatum.
“I vote argue”
“I second that”
“I third that”
“I’m hungry so I’m gonna go cuddle with Cream before I become malnourished”
“I fourth that”
“Sorry Twiggles democracy wins again”
Being five seconds away from snapping the collective necks of Anon, Twilight headed towards the crystal palace’s library.
Books being the one thing that might calm the infinite rage that dwells inside her.
Also she might figure out how to fix the heart.
“While she’s handling that, we can handle the other problem” Anon stated.
“How do we explain to the crystal ponies that my newborn broke their most sacred relic?” Candance asked reluctantly.
“Nope, where is Flurry Heart gone?” Anon explained.
Looking down at her hooves, Cadance realised Flurry was gone.
Panicking, Cadance began flying at the speed of sound across the room calling out her baby’s name.
“Sound the alarm!” Shining ordered one of the nearby guards.
“Ponanon you check the lower half of the palace, Peganon you search the skies, Zebanon search the streets, I’ll check the top half of the palace, Unianon, you stay here and keep gluing the heart back together just in case Twilight’s nerd shit fails” Anon ordered.
“Waaay ahead of you” Unianon said, applying more glue to a shard.
Fanning out, the Anons searched across the city for the little bundle of chaos that was Flurry Heart.
“Here Flurry Flurry Flurry Flurry! I’ve got cookies! You’re old enough to eat solid foods right!?” Peganon asked, holding a plate of cookies as he floated through the air.
Hearing the sound of giggling he turned his head towards it. Seeing nothing Peganon continued his search.
But as he turned his head back in front of him, the plate was empty.
“How the hell did she do that? Alicorn magic of course” he grumbled as he discarded the plate, moving at far greater speeds to find the foal.
Within the palace, Anon searched through the missing foal’s room.
Checking under every toy and stuffed animal Anon made sure that he searched everything.
“Giant stuffed bear, wooden train, Flurry Heart, some building blocks, Perry the Platypus, mini-golf clubs“ Anon listed off the items he moved aside as he searched for the foal.
Doing a double take Anon’s jaw almost dropped at the sight of Flurry, a green bipedal platypus in a hat and a set of newborn sized golf clubs sat behind him.
“Perry the Platypus! Flurry Heart! Golf clubs! You were born like a week ago. How do you know how to play golf?”
Giggling, Flurry lifted herself and Perry into the air with magic.
In a flash of green light Perry the Platypus was gone. In his place was a smiling Albus.
“Albus? You figured out how to turn yourself into Perry the Platypus? That’s so clever! Clearly you’re very advanc- wait, how do you know what Perry the Platypus looks like?” Anon said, first proud that his son was getting creative with his powers, then in confusion as Disney didn’t exist in Equestria.
Pushing the questions out of his mind Anon puffed out his chest and furrowed his brow.
“Alright you two, you’ve had your fun. But fun dad/uncle Nonners is gone. Serious dad/uncle Nonners is here now. Now both of you, land on this floor immediately or you are both GROUNDED” Anon threatened, using the oldest threat in the book when dealing with rowdy children.
Instead of complying, Flurry puffed up her cheeks. With magic from her horn lighting up, Flurry grabbed the unassembled IKIRIN foal crib (recommended for foals ages 2 months to 18 months) that Shining had left partly assembled in the corner and lifted it over Anon’s head.
“Oh no” Anon realised.
Flying through the corridors to escape, Albus and Flurry giggled to each other before disappearing in yet another bout of teleportation.
“I am in extreme pain here” Anon groaned as he laid buried under a mountain of affordable furniture.
Despite the efforts of the Anons and their super glue, the Heart was fixed by the efforts of Sunburst the wizard and Twilight.
With the day saved the Amor couple assembled the crib just in time for Flurry to fall asleep.
After they dug Anon out from under it of course.
“Well, let’s hope that’s the last bout of chaos you make Flurry” Shining chuckled as he and Cadence put Flurry to bed.
As the couple watched over their sleeping foal they nuzzled against each other.
“Who would have thought one little filly could cause all that trouble?” Shining smiled.
“I know, honestly I expected Anon to be the one to break the Heart, usually he’s the chaotic one around here” Cadence.
Shining had to hold in a laugh to stop himself from waking up his daughter.
Cadence had a point. The Thestral was usually causing chaos of some kind, blowing everything off as a joke, with his green eyes hidden behind those glasses.
Just like how Flurry had done all day…
“Oh no” Shining thought.
“Cadence?” Shining asked, his voice shaking lightly.
“Yes?” She said.
“Did we make a mini-Anon with alicorn magic?” Shining asked, his voice now full of worry.
Initially thinking he was crazy, Cadence prepared to brush off his question.
But then it hit her.
“Oh no we did” she said, now more terrified than Applejack when she last saw an orange tree.
…
Starlight Glimmer, former Fürh- equal citizen of Our Town. Spied on her arch-nemesis Twilight Sparkle.
Using a brilliant disguise (a shrub) she watched the Princess of Friendship eat her toast with marmite.
The uncultured swine.
Within her mind, the plans of revenge were already forming.
She ruined all of Starlight’s work, drove her out of her own town and left her wandering the wilderness like some kind of animal.
Well, like an animal who couldn’t talk.
“Hi Lighty” Anon greeted, pulling the former dictator out of her thoughts.
“You!? How did you know I was in here!?” Starlight demanded.
“Your ass is sticking out the back” Anon pointed out.
Seeing she indeed chose a shrub that was too small, Starlight pulled herself out of her hiding spot.
“So, you’re spying on Twilight?” Anon asked.
“Y-yeah so what?” She said defensively.
“Hey I’m just making sure you aren’t watching her bathe or anything like that” Anon chuckled.
Starlight’s face lit up. Despite the best efforts of her hoof, she could not hide the embarrassed face from the stallion.
“Hey, we've all been there. Watching the one’s we’re interested in doing private stuff. I watch Cream shower all the time. Except I’m usually in there with her, not a shrub” Anon said trying to comfort the beet red mare.
“I- that’s- I need to go!” Starlight stated with a huff as she stormed off away from town.
“Looks like it’s time for old Nonners to play Cupid. I’ll add it to my chores list” Anon thought to himself.
Pulling a piece of paper and pen from his saddle bag he started scribbling.
Fix loose shingle,
Feed plants,
Water cat,
Get milk,
Pre-book Albus magic lessons with Twiggles,
Blame communism,
Send annual death threat to Blue Blood,
Mow grass,
Book table for anniversary,
Play Cupid with friends,
“Crap I’ve been putting off doing the roof for a while” Anon mused to himself unhappily.
AN: Let’s face it, Nonners and Flurry were going to get along no matter what.
Tune in next time where you’ll see the Anon’s try to fix a stubborn roof.
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Death threat?
Oh, that’s nasty.
More evidence that Anon might have had something to do with this… (probably not, but I’m blaming him anyway.)
Curious about those death threats: are they cleverly disguised from an anonymous arch-nemesis (like Scooter trix) or does Blueblood know it’s Anon?
11696707
It's Blue Blood. Wouldn't you.
11696723
Or a couple pipe bombs filled with glitter.
11696773
Otherwise known as the Pinkie Pie special.
I predict the roof will fix anon
Flurry, Albus and probably the other foals of Anon are reincarnated humans, or other anons, regardless is the simples explanation of why Albus can transform into perry the platapus, or how Flurry knows hot to play golf.
Twilight and Starlight, yeah not seeing that in this story sorry Anon Twilight into you. Also question stalliongrad what that. Also Anon really trying to break Sunburst heart there.
11696707
Play cupid on rainbow dash and Soarin than.
I agree fully with Starlight here, Vegemite is much superior.
11696707
I think this is why he mentioned a restraining order of sorts in the earlier chapters.
More Delicious Chaos!!!!
11696707
Anon likes keeping Blue Blood on his toes…. Hooves? Whatever he has.
replacing shingles can be so annoying! One wrong move and *schlick!* there goes the whole column!
11697003
Now imagine 6 Anons trying to do it.
11697092
From what I googled it’s the Sun thin is supposed to be a species wide thing
11697083
The house is doomed. Whelp, time to get a new mansion from Discord!
11697083
s that a Polish joke reference, or "How many does it take to..." ref?
Either sounds just as corny.
Then again, it's just Anon, who is much worse than Discord could ever be. Right? Right?
When do those Griffon mercs arrive?
11697259
Yeah, that shingle is going to be one tough cookie
11697210
Yep, I mean Diz is basically living in Anon’s yard rent free.
Anon is the next Chaos God if Discord ever retired.
PERRRRRY?!?!