Adventures of thestral Anon

by ImNew2023

Daddy’s little witch

“Weeeeeeee!” Anon squealed with joy as the roller coaster shot down the track. The sound of screaming ponies all around him.

Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves… other than Rosa, who sat next to him with a frankly bored expression as the coaster flew about.

At Cream Heart’s suggestion, Anon took Rosa on a father/daughter bonding trip to the Pony Island amusement park.

Far, far away from Ponyville.

(She just wanted the necromancer away from her kids)

“That was fun, did you like it Rosie?” Anon asked as they got off.

Staring at him with a blank face, Rosa just continued to walk alongside him.

“Ok not a roller coaster girl, hey there’s something you might like” Anon said.

Nestled between two coasters was a classic looking haunted house.

“Bones and crying children? This is definitely something you’d enjoy” Anon said as he watched a stallion chasing after two crying fillies he assumed were said stallion’s daughters.

The haunted house itself wasn’t that scary. A few plastic skeletons, some cotton weaved to look like cobwebs and a park employee dressed as a zombie whom Rosa made soil himself.

“Why are you doing this?” Rosa asked, stopping in the middle of the hall of mirrors.

Tilting his head Anon was confused what she meant specifically.

“Doing what?” He asked.

“This! Taking me to this infernal place! Insisting that I'm your ‘daughter!’ Treating me like I'm anything other than the monster nopony wanted, why are you messing with me!?” Rosa snapped. Her horn lit up with magic and shattered the mirrors lining the walls.

Despite hearing the sound of someone screaming then the heavy hoofsteps of running away, Anon just stood there.

“Rosa, I'm not messing with you,” Anon stated plainly.

“Then what!? What reason could you possibly be doing this! You know what I am yet you act like I couldn’t hurt a fly, I lead armies of flesh eating ghouls and blood drinking vampires yet you insist I sleep in a room two hallways away from where your foals sleep!”

“I thought you’d like the view from that room”

“Just stop it already! You know what I am yet you not only don’t flee in terror of me you insist on being as close as possible. There has to be some game you're playing, I can’t see it but it has to be there, nopony in the world could be dumb enough to be around me ‘just because’” Rosa stated.

Looking the necromancer in the eyes, Anon stood his ground. He could see the anger, the rage, every ounce of frustration flowing through her.

“I know exactly what you are Rosa Maledicta, under all that black magic and bravado is an angry, hurt little filly who’s been betrayed by everyone she thought cared about her, and that sucks. But what sucks more is you’ve grown used to the idea that everyone is going to leave you because of your powers. But guess what sweetie, you ain’t shaking me” Anon told her.

Rosa simply glared at him, every word she had heard a thousand times and every time it turned out to be a lie.

Seeing his words weren’t getting through to her, Anon took the next step.

Slowly, he took a step closer to her, then another and another after that.

While she only glared at him, Anon looked back with a soft smile.

Before long they were eye to eye with one another.

“You know I could kill you right now. Your princesses and pet draconequus can’t save you here” Rosa stated, giving Anon a sadistic smile.

“I know, but I’m not scared of you,” he stated.

“Minotaur shit” Rosa spat.

“Believe what you want, but it’s the truth. There’s nothing on this planet that will make me afraid of you” Anon said.

The longer she looked into his eyes, the more ways she could kill him flooded Rosa’s mind. It would be so easy, she could slip out before anypony even found his body.

But that was it, it was too easy.

When she realised this, Rosa’s horn stopped glowing.

“You aren’t lying, are you?” Rosa asked, almost choking in her words.

“You are my daughter Rosa, end of story”

Slowly, the magic around Rosa’s horn faded. Shaking slightly she lowered her head down, refusing to make eye contact with Anon.

“You want to go home?” He asked.

Nodding her head, Rosa raised it to reveal a mischievous grin.

“Not before I fix this joke of a haunted house” she chuckled.

You could hear the screams and soiling of none existent pants from miles away. Rosa had summoned actual ghosts to haunt the attraction.

As the father/daughter duo got on the train back to Ponyville they could see guards rushing towards the amusement park as they left the station.

“I’m so proud of you” Anon said, a fatherly tear going down his cheek.

On the train ride home the two talked some more.

“So you inevitably have to become a lich or a vampire?” Anon asked.

Nodding, Rosa took another sip of the tea that had been provided by a trolley.

“As it stands I am a mere pony in a empire of immortals, if I am to maintain control I have to ascend past my mortal state” she explained.

“And you’re cool with that?” Anon asked.

“Of course, immortality alone is a worthy prize, but ascending will grant me vast power over the arts I practise. It will be worth it… despite the shortcomings” Rosa added, shivering slightly as she uttered the last sentence.

“What shortcomings? Being a bone monster or being chased by big teet goth mares all night?” Anon asked.

Shaking her head Risa squirmed slightly.

“It’s the concept of devouring the flesh of others or drinking blood to survive. I’ve never tasted it so I’m on the fence about relying on it forever” she explained.

“Well, you could try it now and see which one you like” Anon suggested.

Returning to the empire our plucky duo arrived at the First Imperial Blood Bank.

Entering the building Rosa squinted slightly. The crystal material used to make the building was pure clean white. As such light reflected off of it directly at her.

Following Anon past the desk Rosa admitted in her head, having the King as a father had its perks. Such as being able to skip the line of hungry vampires waiting for their fix.

“I donated a few pints to set an example when this place first opened,” Anon explained.

Leading her to a back room, Anon showed Rosa where all the blood was stored.

Rows upon rows of shelves filled to the brim with transparent bags of blood filled the room.

Searching for several minutes, Anon found a bag with his name on it.

Literally.

It was written on the label.

“Bottoms up” he said, handing the bag and a silly straw to Rosa.

Initially perplexed by the silliness of the straw, Rosa quickly adapted.

Inserting the straw into the bag before slowly drinking its contents.

“So? How is it?” Anon asked, seconds later Rosa sprayed the contents over Anon’s face.

“Blegh! That tastes of alcohol and eggs!” She complained as she wiped her tongue on her hoof trying to replace the taste with something more pleasant.

“Oh that’s my fault, I drink about ten units of alcohol a day and eat five dozen eggs for breakfast. It’s Cream’s idea, she thinks getting more protein in me will increase sperm count so I can coat her whole body in my cu- Anon began before his mouth was magically clamped shut.

“Let’s try the meat idea,” Rosa said, not wanting to add the taste of vomit to the blood stuck in her mouth.

Deep in the Crystal Palace, Anon led Rosa into a catacomb-like chamber.

“What are we doing down here?” She asked.

Moving over to one of the coffins, Anon pushed the lid off of it. The air around the coffin as its true nature was revealed.

“Behold, my secret freezers!” Anon said, using dramatic poses to show off his stuff.

Inside the coffin were piles of frozen meat, sealed away in airtight bags.

“Is… are these entire catacombs just freezers?” Rosa asked.

“It keeps the Crystal Ponies away”

Walking over to the corner of the room Anon pulled on a rope and from the roof dropped a pony sized rag doll like construct. Looking over, Rosa watched the grey puppet hang from the ceiling, its dead green eyes looking back at her.

“That’s my backup system,” Anon explained.

Turning her attention to the coffins Rosa looked over the dozen or so of them that filled the chamber.

“So whatcha want?” Anon asked.

“Where did you even get all this meat? I thought ponies were all herbivores” Rosa asked, her curiosity overtaking her.

“Grover, my boy has got a pipeline of the finest meats in the empire coming all the way here. Sure I can’t tell anyone about it because they’ll freak out that their king eats meat” Anon explained.

Going through the various options Rosa read out the labels on each packet.

Ribeye steak.

Lamb chops.

Rabbit leg.

Duck breast.

Ostrich burgers.

Whole griffon.

“Wait what?” Rosa thought to herself as she fixated on that last option.

“Grover doesn’t take kindly to murderers in his empire,” Anon said darkly.

Swallowing her breath Rosa pointed her hoof at the rabbit.

“Good choice, I actually caught that myself, the beggars have been breeding like well… rabbits” Anon said, lifting the bag out of the freezer before resealing it.

“Now you go sit and I’ll get dinner sorted” Anon said as he vanished into the left wing of the catacombs.

“Sit? Sit where-“ Rosa asked herself before turning around to see a small dining area on the far side of the right half of the room.

“Of course,” she said, rolling her eyes.

Sitting down, Rosa helped herself to the drinks cabinet. Pouring herself a large glass of apple cider she waited for a little while before Anon came back.

Carrying a tray with two plates on it he put them down on the table before taking his own seat.

“Please enjoy your rabbit, roasted in garlic and rosemary, served with a side of seasonal vegetables and a rich gravy” Anon said before picking up his own knife and fork.

Looking down at the plate, Rosa raised an eyebrow.

“Well… you do know this isn’t how the hundead eat flesh right?” She asked.

“Probably, but I think we should ease you into eating meat before you go full raw,” Anon said in between bites.

Using her magic Rosa cut out a chunk of meat, examining it as it floated in the air.

Swallowing her breath she bit into it, chewing on the cooked flesh for a few seconds before swallowing.

She soon threw up.

“Yep there’s the money shot” Anon said, patting his daughter on the back. His muzzle wrinkled due to the smell.

The next day Anon was taking a break from king shit to have a stroll along the border of the Everfree.

“Hey Fluttershy!” He called out, seeing the yellow mare hovering over a tree.

Coming closer, Fluttershy landed in front of Anon.

“Hello Anon, have you seen Angel Bun? He disappeared a week ago and I still can’t find him” she whispered.

“A week ago? Nah can’t say I’ve seen him, only thing I can remember from last week was I caught that raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”

Fluttershy tilted her head as she watched Anon continue to repeat the “aaaaa” noise. His body almost froze in place as he went on like a broken record.

“Well, if you see Angel, please tell him I miss him” Fluttershy asked as she flew off in search of her beloved pet.

“I must take this to my grave,” he thought to himself as he stood there, the same “aaa” noise echoing through the countryside.

AN: this is the second time Anon thought he ate Angel in my stories and the shit deserves it.

But he’s still alive, unfortunately.

Comments

[Fun1901]

My goodness that one lucky rabbit since he literally definition of lucky.

[LordMentat]

Pony Island amusement park

...Oh no

[Roran Dreamon]

“Oh that’s my fault, I drink about ten units of alcohol a day and eat five dozen eggs for breakfast. It’s Cream’s idea, she thinks getting more protein in me will increase sperm count so I can coat her whole body in my cu-" Anon began before his mouth was magically clamped shut.

This part had me laughing my at off at work.

[Poparakelis]

But he’s still alive, unfortunately.

... Unfortunately

[Adamastos]

Would I be correct in guessing that little bugger is the reason the rabbit population has boomed?

Also, are we going to see Anon help Rosa consider a few other immortality options? Like accepting the mantle a spirit or a god gave up for retirement? Or an alternate-type aliicorn? One based on thestrals, curved horn unicorns, and whatever it may be for the sixth tribe of ponies?

[ImNew2023]

11673994
Perhaps, but I definitely plan for Anon to go power crazy.

Well… crazier

[Adamastos]

11673997

He's both an emperor of ponies and a father. Crazier is normal for him now.

[midnight arrow]

good chapter

[DOOMRIDER]

11673999
As a father of two girls I can confirm it does drive you insane in the membrane.

[FoxyLove]

11674137
🎶INSANE IN THE BRAIN!!!!!🎶

[Theresa hall]

11673923
I don't think it would be that easy for him to kill that rabbit.

[tsaukpaetra]

Pony Island! 😈
Angel, of course, is helping keep Anon well-stocked.
Curious about the eggs. Would think the stench would more than cover any other proposed benefits...
Touching moment with Rosa. 😇

[Luckyfanisaac]

“Oh that’s my fault, I drink about ten units of alcohol a day and eat five dozen eggs for breakfast. It’s Cream’s idea, she thinks getting more protein in me will increase sperm count so I can coat her whole body in my cu-“(—— Anon began before his mouth was magically clamped shut.

If he wants to do that why not ask a changeling for help? Like Magma’s moo moo milk increases sex drive. Also bananas I’ve heard increases sperm count. That’s why I have been drinking peanut butter and banana shakes. The peanut butter helps with stamina.

[Black--Soul]

“A week ago? Nah can’t say I’ve seen him, only thing I can remember from last week was I caught that raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA
HA-HA-HA-HA-HA
HE EAT ANGEL BUNNY 👍

But he’s still alive, unfortunately.

Shiiiiit...