Female Writer, Bisexual Writer, Smolder X Mare Crackship Connoisseur. Creator of the Smolderverse, and writer of many other kinds of clop and SFW stories (Commissions temporarily OPEN)
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
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SHORT STACKS, SHORT STACKS, SHORT STACKS!!
Aftercare and more affection! How nice!
This is your official review for the Furry Foray Festival Contest!
I've tried to be as objective as possible, but of course there are limits. I've tried to avoid being biased or arbitrary as much as I can, and hopefully I've succeeded at least somewhat. The full, final results will be announced on May 4th, and winners will be contacted shortly afterward to ask how they would like to accept their prizes. When readings these comments, please keep in mind that I know I'm often overly critical -- to the point where I can always find nitpicks even with the greatest works of literature. So don't take anything personally!
Notes:
-
dark orange cock almost as thick as a soda can with balls nearly as big as oranges
With all the orange going on, seems a bit excessive to also compare them to oranges, lol!- Interesting that this story spends so little time on the setup -- just getting straight to the good part!
- And the good part was quite good ... if a little on the short side. Definitely would have liked to see Lola take a proper load!
- My only real complaint would be the fast pace. Not horribly fast, but still a little too fast to savor the moment before it's right on to the next thing -- this fic never gives you a break!
- The ending, while also short, is pretty sweet. Smolder is pretty caring after a casual fuck-fest.
- There was some attempt at character-building, and I appreciate how the two bunnies were given different personalities and approaches ... but still, there wasn't a whole lot of time here for developing character. Smolder, in particular, seems a lot like 'generic dragon' here, and I don't see much to connect her to the Smolder we see in the show, besides general appearance and name. Definitely could have improved a bit by using some of Smolder's sassiness from the show.
- As impressed as Smolder was with her first sight of boobs, she never once got to grab them or anything. Lola used hers for a titjob, sure ... but were Judy's poor titties ever even touched by anyone? Especially a shame since Smolder thought Judy's was the more impressive set.
Scores:
Provocativeness: 30
Progression: 85
Payoff: 35
Pacing: 50
Personality: 45
Prose: 75
Total: 320
For more information on what these scores mean, see the scoring rubric.
11553953
Smolder does grab Judy's boobs! 🤣
Thanks for the review!
11553997
Oh, heh... I guess I didn't notice or remember that...