#Fan@tic

by Impossible Numbers

#ALifeInSnapgabSnapshots

#Baby’s1stSnapgab!
I is a cousin again! Look at dis pic! Baby Val is SOOOOOOOO cute! – Cousin Sunflower

#Baby’s1stSnapgabWord!
She said Click! I think. Sounded more like kik! Val loves camera. Aunt Clem + Uncle Tang love her! Look moar baby pix! – Cousin Sunflower

#Baby’s1stHearthsWarming!
So many prez! Baby Val’s in there somewhere! LOL Where’s Vally? – Cousin Sunflower

#Baby’s1stCleanup!
Baby Val bein tidy! Saw us b like TIDY UP TIME FOOL, then she put wrap and paper in garbage can. So smrt! – Cousin Sunflower

#Baby’s1stBabysitter!
ME! OMG so cuuuuuuuuuuuute! O, and BB cute too, LOL! – Cousin Sunflower

#Shock
No joke. Just heard the news this afternoon. Aunt Clementine and Uncle Tangerine are EWAQyuipogyulj

#Sorry
I lost it. Forgive me. Just so sudden. I heard some more from Dad. It was a car crash. RIP Best Aunt and Uncle ever. I’ll never forget you.

#Baby’s1stBday
They grow up so fast *sniff*. Little Baby Val with me and Mom and Dad. Big cake, yeah? Mom bought it. Cost $$$! #BabyValTotallyWorthIt

#AlsoNotDoinTheCousinSunflowerSignatureThingEveryTime
I’m just not, okay?

---

#LittleVal
Baby all growed up now! Look how cuuuuuuuuuute!

#LittleValGonnaVisitApples
Mom + Dad want her meet whole family. Eep! Not seen Aunt Butter + Uncle Bright so long. Kinda nervous kinda xcited. There word 4 that?

#AtSwAppAcres
Dad joke: Used to be a revolver called SAA! Dat Y every1 cowboys! Vote Dad tell no more Dad jokes, plz.

#AlsoAtSwAppAcres
Jeez what a dump. TV is OOOLLLDDD! Anyway who owns TV? Every1 on laptops + streamin + stuff now.

#AlsoAlsoAtSwAppAcres
Hidin in bathroom. Pretendin 2 change Little Val, rly hidin. Jeez can hear every1 shoutin. Who kick hornet nest?

#MoneyNoMakeThingsBetter
Trust me Mom + Dad, do NOT say ‘but look @ de munnys’ to Granny Smith. Like, who kick all the hornets nests now?

#LittleValLeavinNow
THANK GOODNESS

#CouldaGoneBetter
Mom + Dad not happy. Hoped bring fam 2gether, but NOPE. Gran-gran all like Y U LEAVE DEN 4 CITY!!! 2 good 4 u Y/N?! Still a sore spot. Whatevs.

#LittleValSad
Little Val never even got C cousin AJ or Big Mac. :C *lone tear*

#Tho
Like if u think Big Mac kinda cute. Got pic! See?

---

#HelloFromVal
HIIIIII

#SunflowerInCharge
I let Val haz phone.

#ValWidomDay
Sunflower smellz

#SunflowerReallyInCharge
LOL it’s spelled wisdom with a S doofus. Also Sun Goddess does not smell. It is gardnin perfum. Bcos I like 2 garden.

#ValFunny
LOL U no spell goood ether

#SunflowerREALLYInChargeNow
Val’s 1st post, ladies and gents! Give her some love! She’s here till Thursday! Tip your waitresses!

---

#Mom+DadSoCool
Mom and Dad open druuuuuuuuumroll plz then pause 4 drama THE NEW AND IMPROVED MANEHATTAN MALL! M + D make miracles happen!

#NewRestaurantForVal
Val wants go to new restaurant in THE NEW AND IMPROVED MANEHATTAN MALL! Called Dish Harmony. Eyeroll. FYI Mom + Dad dint name it, thnk gdnss.

#Mom+DadTheBest
For Val’s 7th, we got a table at THE NEW AND IMPROVED okay lol not doin that ev time. Val so xcited!

#HAPPYBIRTHDAYVAL
U so beautiful.

#DishHarmonyDay
Ugh.

#DisHarmonyDayMoreLike
Mom + Dad just want talk to bizniz types. Bizniz meetin! On Val’s special day! WTH!? Who DOES that?

#SurroundedBySuits
Booooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddddddddd.

#ValSurroundedBySuits
Val status: BBBBBOOOOOOOORRRDDDDDDDD

#PoorBoredVal
Time you get ur own account meee finx? U big girl now

#ValGonnaSevenTies
Bit wordplay 4 ya. Srsly tho, no 1 talk to Val. Just bout buy this plan that fund this pull out that bizniz bizniz bizniz.

#DishForVal
Least Val got cake. BIG cake. I sing THE SONG. YOU KNOW THE SONG YOU SING ON BIRTHDAY Y U NO SING U SUITED BIZNIZ FOOLS!!!!!!

#ValNotValidated
Mom + Dad only sing last line. Every1 ignorin Val. Again, WTH!? What u m-barrasssssssed by?

#ForgetMom+Dad
We gettin da heel outta here.

#PoorVal
Took her out 2 mall. Bought her camera stuff. Cheered her up. Bless Little Shutterbug!

#StupidM+D
Walkin home. Cant BELIEVE M+D do that to My Little Val. So rude. Poor girl cryin for attention.

#HomeAloneWithVal
Poor girl cryin. Vote Y/N shall I sing THE SONG?

#LoveValLoveLife
Val gettin attention, bless her. Just sang THE SONG. Audience: one. Number one audience, OOOOHHHHH!

#OMG
Dad joke. I just made Dad joke.

#OMGTimesTwo
Oh gosh help me I’m turnin into Dad!

#ValSleepsHappy
Yay. It illegal 2 B this cute. But Shhh! Shhh!

#LoveYouVal
Say goodnite 2 Val. My Little Val.

---

#Mom+DadTalkToMayor
Yo fool we own dis town

#JustJokinGuys
LOL no srsly u all cool. We all cool here

#Mom+DadNotHome
Wish Mom+Dad come home soon

#GardeninAgain
Well I is not mopin am I

#ValWatch
Oh no I bein watched by the Val Monster HIDE ME LOL

#ValNaughty
Sent Val inside. Look what she did 2 my begonias! Stupid Val

#ApologyCake
Aw I can’t stay mad at U My Little Val.

---

#IMGETTINASISTER!!!!!!
A real sister! Mom told me this morning! I GONNA BE A SISTER!

#ScanDone
Mom gonna have nother daughter

#VoteForNames
What would u call her? I call her Sunflower junior. M not biased.

#WhatUpWithVal?
She seem upset.

---

#Mom+DadOutBuyinShops
Got their own smoothie stall next as a favor. Mom while preg, too. We da specials.

#Mom+Dad+FilthyRich
Well they are! No, I kid, but for real dey out seein Filthy Rich mean BIG THING for us. So happy! New laptop! New phone! New everything! We gon be GUD N RICH!

#MuckinInTheMud
Gardenin gettin old. Plants keep dyin. Im like, why bother? Just buy from the store.

#ValOnTheProwl
Also Val keeps steppin on em. So annoyin. Doin it for attention.

#ValABadGirl
Val keeps jumpin and shoutin. Ugh, so annoyin. Went back to my room 4 2 play games.

#OhYeahForgotTheTickleFruit
Mom bought me Tickle Fruit game. It so fun! Gonna reach Level 100 in one go YAH I AM QUEEN OF DIS GAME!

#Level10
So far so good!

#Level20
Ha u said this was hard. LOL who hard now fool!?

#PointAndClick
Sorry not game this time. Val bug me hittin my door, so gave her coins and said go buy cake. Cake makes EVERY1 happy, right?

#Level30
Dis boss is givin me brain damage. UGH SO HARD!?

---

#MomHadSister
We gon call her Bad Seed

#SorryGoof
No, Babs Seed. Dont know where BAD Seed come from. Mom happy, Dad happy, me happy, we all happy.

#WelcomeToTheFamilyBabs!
Awwww isn’t she sooooooooooo cute! She is my little bundle of love. Party time!

#BiggestPartyEver
Cos Mom helped him out with Mall, Filthy done paid for our party at the Half Moon Hotel. LOOK AT DIS DANCE FLOOR!

#CheerUpVal!
Uh uh we got a party pooper.

#Mom+DadKnowSoManyPeeps
Gonna help us take good care of Baby Babs. So proud. Little Babs gonna get so much she wont know what to do with it.

#LOLNowIAmSuit
Filthy bought it. Not normally a suit girl but darn I look good, YUH? Look who the sophisticated Sunflower.

#NowUCallMe
Solfleur. Is trez sophistique.

#BabyBabsNeedSuit
A tiny one with tiny little necktie and tiny little cuffs CAN U IMAGINE IT!?

#BabyBabs1stSmile
Oh I gonna die from cuteness overload

---

#Baby’s1stHearthsWarming!
So many prez! Baby Babs in there somewhere! LOL Where’s Babsy?

#Baby’s1stMessup!
Baby Babs smashin things! Rip up prez then rip up paper prez waz in then rip up shreds! Oh u bad girl, LOL!

#Baby’s1stBabysitter!
Mom+Dad go see Filthy and co. So clue: not them.

#Baby’s1stBabysitter2ndGuess
ME, you dorks, LOL! OMG so cuuuuuuuuuuuute! O, and BB cute too, LOL!

#Baby’s1stCry
Val, y u so mad? Poor Babs needs love, not shouts. Sent Val to room. Stupid Val always ruinin things. Haters gonna hate.

#Baby’s1stTickleFruit
Gave controller to Babsy on Level 1. ROTFL she so terrible, but we love her just the same.

---

#Baby’sLevel10
Took only a whole three years, LOL. Babs gettin GOOD.

#SnapgabCorrectionNo32
No I do not floss with non-vironmental un-green floss, jeez, where did Val even get the idea?

#Baby’sLevel11
AWWWWWW too bad, Babsy. Another three years, HA!

#SnapgabCorrectionNo33
And no Mom do not pay Mayor to not ask where juice for smoothie come from. THIS IS GARBAGE SHUT UP VAL.

#ValenciaJustShutUp
Srsly, every1 know u only doin the whole ‘oh noes the gubburment & BIG BIZNIZ iz corrupt’ 4 attenshun. GO AWAY!

#Baby’sLevel12
Can U DO EEEET, Babsy!!!!???

---

#Baby’sLevel21
Babs: superheroine fruit saver between school and home PlayStable console! You go girl!

#SNAPGABISNOTYOURNEWSPAPERJEEZ
Vote if U want Val banned? Mom + Dad totally can make it happen. Filthy knows the site owner.

#Baby’sLevel22
Like if U want to see her do it tonite.

---

#Baby’sLevel45
Okay Babs no like it when I call her baby but it’s a thing now

#ValTantrumNo23
Jeez what a drama queen. Mom + Dad keep her at home now. Literally can’t take her anywhere. So she bugs me now. Bcause Dat Smrt.

#IHaveACunningPlan
Wait her out. Ignore her. She’ll stop soon.

#Baby’sLevel46
Go Babs Go!

#OhThankSweetFountainyGoodness
The Drama Queen has gone back to her throne to sulk. Or to write how Filthy Rich wants to buy DA WORLD BCAUSE BIZNIZ IS EEEEEVIL.

#InvestigativeJournalist
More like Queen of Delusions

#SHUTUPVALENCIA
NO ONE CARES JUST SHUT UP AND STOP

#Baby’sLevel47
Darn Babs is gettin better than me.

#Baby’sLevel48
OK Babs don’t gloat LOL you makin this look too easy.

---

#GonnaBeStartinHighSchoolSoon
Can’t wait! Poor Babs wanna come. Jerks still bully her at elementary. What do U think? Should I bring her?

#FTheRules
Rules are there to be broken.

#GonnaBeBringinBabsy
She’ll love it. Anyway, Tickle Fruit isn’t life.

#Baby’sLevel89
She spends AGES on this old thing. Aw, ol retro over here.

#Mom+DadHadTHETALK
No not that one U idiot. Got Valencia to shut up. Puttin her in some ad for the Filthy.

#GOSHDARNIT
That sounded dirtier than I meant it to.

#HighSchoolHereICome
Aw to heck with it, LOOK OUT BOYS! MAMAS COMIN!

---

#PoorValencia
Ad dint go well. Not what lookin for, apparently.

#BabsySaysHi
Won’t type herself. She’s so shy. So proud of her tho. We got a rebel bloomin over here!

#ShutUpBoutGarden
I DONT DO THAT NO MORE!

#BabsySaysLoveYouAll
Had a wicked day at HIGH. Made fun of fools, got the grand tour, took LOADSA PHOTOS. Lookit! Lookit all the pix!

#AJ
Cousin AJ still bein a reverse-snob at us. Who died and made her queen of the farm? Whatevs. Loser.

#WeHadFunTho
Babsy the rugby team. Hey My Little Tomboy here!

#BabsyBlushSoEasy
Step 1: Talk about hot boys. Step 2: Look at Babsy. Step 3:??? Step 4: Go AWWWWWWW!

#TellBabsyTheTALK
Go on. It be so funny, make her blush harder.

#AgainTomorrow?
Let’s DOO EEEEET!

---

#PoorPoorValencia
Already usin Snapgab to look for another ad. Not sure if good thing or bad thing, but it a thing alright.

#PoorBabsy
Got caught by cranky principal. Downvote if you H8 Smellestia.

#TalkToMom
Might move to another school. This one so BAD. Crystal Prep, if they can AHEM *persuade* Cinch. $$$$$

---

#CinchIsA@!£”
Wont take no AHEM *persuasion* apparently. $$$$$ Ah well. Dint want to go to stuffy dump anyway. Filthy was gonna for his kid, but thinkin now.

#BiznizSchoolAThing?
Thinks. Thinks.

#ValenciaGotAGig
Sellin apple apps! There’s an app for that now!

#IsItADadJokeWhenItsOnSnapgab?
Plz shoot me.

#BabsyUpset
Hey baby apples are nothin. Tell her that EVERY1!

---

#WowValenciaReally
Sellin ‘artisanal handmade mascara’? Plz. Its melted crayons. U foolin no1.

#BabsyUSoDumb
Babs bought some. I have no words.

#UPerfectTheWayUAre
Babsy, you can’t buy perfection. Tell her, peeps!

#TickleFruit2CominOutSOON
Can’t wait! Gonna get up to Level 100 again! Yes, I is still DA QUEEN. DEAL WITH IT!

---

#WowWowWowValencia
She is actually sellin this stuff. Is every1 stupid, or am I goin crazy?

#SunflowerMayBeLoco
She is actually SELLIN this STUFF!

#Mom+DadSoProudOfValencia
Okay that confirms it. I am goin crazy.

---

#ACOMPANY!?
WTF?

#ClarificationRequest
Valencia has a company now. Sellin real mascara.

#SunflowerIsJelly
I shoulda gone 2 bizniz school.

---

#GoAwayBabsy
Babsy keeps goin on about Tickle Fruit 2. Some1 tell me how 2 stop hr? I CANT FEEL MY EARS!

---

#DarnValencia
Now she gettin gigs all over Snapgab? AM I GOIN CRAZY!?

#CatchphraseNotCatchin
‘Improve Your True Self In Every Way’. Yah, not happenin, girl.

#SHUTUPBABSY
Geez, she always wants attention.

---

#VALENCIAISFILTHYSFRIENDNOW!?
WTF WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!?

#ThoughtSheHatedHim
But now she sorta kinda maybe works for him???? And sells stuff through Snapgab???? And makes money for him?????? Are there even enough ???? in the world?????

#Mom+DadLoveValenciaNow
They won’t shut up about what a big bizniz girl she is now. Gonna be honest: real jelly now.

---

#ValenciaWhenYouCominHome?
Barely seen her all week. Out like Mom + Dad. Only stuck here with Crybaby Babsy.

#BabsyKeepsCryin
I think it’s bullies.

#HoldOnSunflowerGottaDoStuff
Wish me luck. I swear if this is about Tickle Fruit 2 gettin delayed, I mean, GEEZ HOLY CHRYSALIS! ITS JUST A GAME! A REALLY STUPID GAME! NO ONE CARES ANYMORE!

#WishIHadAChrysalis
They good cars. Would take all my boys in one.

---

#HadWordWithBabsy
Um

#HaveQuestion
Be honest: am I a horrible person?

#NeedAMinute
Sorry

---

#HorrifiedIJustRealized
It’s been years since I went to Aunt Clementine and Uncle Tangerine’s graves.

#HowIFeel
:C

#HowIReallyFeel
Worse

---

#BabsyIsSad
We went to see the graves this mornin. I just realized Babsy never been before.

#AuntClemAndUncleTang
They were on my dad’s side of the family. Not my mom’s side. Don’t talk about my mom’s side. Sore spot. Don’t remember why. Did I post about it somewhere?

#LoveClemLoveTang
‘Life was their greatest gift, and they gave generously.’ Never seen that on their gravestone before. That’s a mood.

#BabsyIsReallySad
It’s been an emotional day for us.

#GoodnightBabsy
Love you always

---

#ConfessionTime
So it’s like this: Babsy’s getting bullied at school because every1 thinks she’s sad because she likes Tickle Fruit and junk.

#ConfessionTimeForReal
No, sorry, I mean it’s like this: Babsy really has a hard time talkin to people.

#ConfessionTimev2.0
Sorry, this is hard to put into words

#Confess
Oh eff it: Babsy’s been bottlin up a lot. Mom + Dad wont talk, Valencia dont talk since shes got gigs now, and

#Confess
Babsy’s got no one to talk to because theyre away and

#Confess
Babsy needs help, and

#Confess
Im sorry I cant do this

#SeeYouTomorrow
Maybe

---

#AreWeSisters?
I know, weird question, but are we? Like, I had fun and everything and games and jokes and stuff but is that sister stuff or what?

#AmIASister?
It hit me last night. I don’t KNOW Babsy. Like, do I actually know her or like do I just know what she wants me to know?

#WhatAmI?
Like she didn’t talk to me for a while because she wasn’t sure how I’d react.

#WhoAmI?
I didn’t know how to take that.

#WhyAmI?
I’ve lived with her for years and she still doesn’t trust me. I don’t know what she means. I don’t know who she says she’s supposed to be trusting.

#AndThenI
When I went to see Aunt and Uncle’s graves yesterday, I felt different.

#ImLike
I felt like it was more real than real. You know? Don’t know if makin sense or not. Just how I feel.

#IDon’t
I don’t know my own sister. What she likes, why she’s scared, what she wants to do with her life.

#AmI
That’s like, what am I doing? That’s the epic fail of epic fails.

#IDon’tKnow
I just don’t know what I’m doing anymore. Am I doing this for Mom + Dad? For fun? For anything?

#IsThisIt?
I just post and post and post my life away and that’s it? I can’t do it anymore. I don’t feel like a REAL person with FEELINGS anymore. I feel like one big Dad Joke.

#ExceptNotFunny
I’m sorry. I need a minute.

---

#TheNewSunflower
I had a talk with Babsy. I’ll keep posting. It’s fun. I just won’t post everything. I’m gonna get to know her for the first time.

#LoveYouAll
I feel so much better now. Thank you all, my awesome followers. You keep bein awesome.

---

#OneMonthLater
I’M BAAAAAAAAACK!

#TickleFruit2:TheBabbening!
So we’re doin this! You know you been waitin for it! Babsy gonna ACE this GAME! FTW!

#AlsoBlessYouEvery1
Got your messages. You peeps are da bomb.

#OkayWeDoinThisNow
Babsy Level 100, MAKE EEET HAPPEN!

---

#TalkedToValenciaToday
She’s not joining us.

#ValenciaOut
We uh we uh we had a row. Like a BIG row.

#BYBB
Whatever that means.

#Bizniz
Apparently ‘Vignette’ Valencia is moving out. Got an agent. Got new digs. Got a studio. Got a shiny new name. Mom + Dad said they want her 2 b…

#BYBB
Be Yourself But Better

#DaHeck?
The heck happened to her? She’s got like a million followers???? Company spokesperson!???? For selling junk???? WTF!!!!

#ForSellingOtherPeoplesJunk
I don’t even

#IsThisForReal?
I can’t believe this is happening. She’s gone.

#Oh
Oh

#NoMoreRows
Apparently, she blocked my account.

#So
We can’t talk to her anymore.

---

#ByeLittleVal
I never thought I’d miss her this much. I thought I didn’t even like her anymore. What is wrong with me?

#BabsyHelpTime
Sorry, I’m out. This is personal. You know the drill by now.

---

#BabsyLevel100
She won the game. Tickle Fruit 2. Babsy done it and won the game.

#Baby’sLastWord
So why do I feel like we lost?

#💔

Comments

[Wild Stallion]

This needs more likes. A surprisingly potent story told with a few scattered shot lines of dialogue. I hope your story gains traction.

[Impossible Numbers]

11352426

Wow, thank you! What a lovely comment.

Writing it in "hashtag tweet" form seemed pretty appropriate for a story about Vignette Valencia - don't think it'd work for a longer story, though - and a few in-universe family connections occurred to me in the process. Definitely an interesting experiment: I'm curious to see how it fares.

[the dobermans]

That’s the epic fail of epic fails.

[FanOfMostEverything]

The only thing worse than realizing that you're an incredibly shallow person is not knowing what to do about it afterwards. Sunflower catalogued her own mistakes and self-absorption in excruciating detail without even realizing it. It's fascinating to see how her cousin and sister took away such different lessons from her. Thank you for an excellently executed modern-day epistolary story. (It really says something how we never hear anything back from Sunflower's followers. Just blithely shouting into the void rather than talking to her family...)

[Lionpaw315]

ok so like I never watched the equestria girls shorts or whatever, so I have like no context for this, but THAT BEING SAID

I think something I really like about your fanfics is that with how much Original Flavoring you blend into them, they're still inextricable from the world of the show. Or, like, you *could* probably switch out the names and put in OCs and post it as an original story, and it would stand up really well, but being in the show's setting gives it this extra layer of depth. you know what I'm trying to say? (like, I don't have the dramatic irony of whatever happens to Val in the future, but I've still got the context of babs and the apple family.) it's, like, pinnacle Transformative Work. I really do love it. favorite types of fics.

THAT ALSO BEING SAID

extremely creative format and extremely well executed too. like, I really feel for this family. from an outsider's pov looking it, it really does kind of look like watching a train crash in slow motion. hope sunny and babs end up being just as close as 'jack and 'bloom...

[SIGAWESOME]

That was an interesting, unique execution and well written, but horrifyingly horrible.

I feel a bit unsettled after reading this, as if "I" were some sort of grotesque voyeur vulture, picking over the ruins of someone's life for my entertainment

[Wild Stallion]

11353518
Mellow drama in a nutshell.

[heartlessons]

I have always had such a soft spot for social media fics and when I saw that Vignette was in this one I went :O because she’s easily one of my favorite characters from the later EqG specials. This story was so touching and well executed.

The choice to have the story be told through somewhat of an “outsider” perspective (as opposed to, say, Vignette’s perspective) worked really well, just that transition of “awe yay a new baby in the family!” to “ugh this baby is actually really annoying” to “awe yay /another/ new baby in the family!” and then gradually growing more and more jealous as the first new baby starts to succeed. Vignette being related to the Oranges + therefore the Apples is absolutely GENIUS I am in awe of your mind. Also the implication that Vignette got the “haters gonna hate” phrase from Sunflower….. so so so good

I just adore everything about this story. The style of dialect, how the first few snaps of Babs are almost identical to the first snaps of Vignette, the shift from “Val” to “Valencia” after Babs comes along, “Vignette” being a later addition to her name, drifting apart as they get older but still wanting to reach out, the “baby’s last word” hashtag…. there’s so much fun (and heartbreaking) worldbuilding in such a unique format. Thank you for writing!!