You seem to have javascript disabled, or your browser is failing to execute it properly. Much of Fimfiction's functionality requires javascript so we suggest you turn it on!

T

No Filter

Vignette Valencia is the worst person Wallflower Blush has ever met. She's vain, petty, materialistic. She's the kind of person that shouldn't exist outside of horror stories about social media influencers.

She's also easier to talk to than anyone else.

Struggling with conversation at the best of times, Wallflower finds Vignette's existence so baffling that it's impossible for her to be uncomfortable around her.

Winner of a committee prize in the 2022 Crackship Contest.

Huge thanks to VoxArachne for editing and prereading.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 30 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 30
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Samey90

Samey90 #1 · Mar 17th, 2022 · 3 · ·

Huh, I didn't know it was possible to write a conversation between Vignette, Wallflower, and Juniper without it ending with one of them in a plastic bag and the other two trying to hide the body.

Wallflower kicked her legs. This was a successful human interaction! She had an in joke with a maybe friend.

c.tenor.com/KO5tZJUmhF0AAAAC/tomoko-anime.gif

Hmm, to think about it, a sequel could be a courtroom drama where Vignette and Wallflower find out that being gay is not a good justification of doing crime...

ReedHoarse #2 · Mar 17th, 2022 · 3 · ·

11184180
Ah yes, the popular anime WallflowerMote, or in English, No Matter How I Look At It It's Sunset's Fault I'm Not Popular

#begaydocrime was absolutely trending the next day

forbloodysummer

forbloodysummer #3 · Mar 17th, 2022 · 11 · ·

It started good and it just got better and better as it went on.

“I don’t sound like that,” said Wallflower.
“That’s fine, nobody knows what you sound like.”

This is legitimately the best story I've read on this site in several years. I can't remember the last time another story made me laugh this much. It's sweet, it's a surprisingly deep take on the characters, the way their bond grows, deepens and evolves feels ridiculously natural and never forced, it's unique and takes a different path to relationship formation to other stories, and above all it was so, so funny. I loved every moment of it.

I imagine, sadly, the story will be ignored by just about everyone, stories with Vignette in generally are. But I am absolutely certain there will be no better story in the crackship contest, and that this absolutely deserves to win. I have already recommended it to all my friends.

“Mm. You should stick to being bitter.”
“Be myself but bitter?”

Oh my god.

YetAnotherTweenEdgelord

YetAnotherTweenEdgelord #4 · Mar 18th, 2022 · 3 · ·

11184180
11184188

derpicdn.net/img/2021/1/17/2531719/medium.jpg
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/922/641/6d2.jpg
64.media.tumblr.com/bcc8f113d5edf4d95444a66d4cecab42/ae6c57898b4b72ba-33/s540x810/6ddc9a3acb8094e9ac02b3c7e23a8fc6bc8efa8e.png
Those three are like, the same person.

Spamotron #5 · Mar 18th, 2022 · 9 · ·

This was amazing. There are relationships where people bring out the best in each other, and relationships where they bring out the worst in each other, but Wallflower and Valencia do both at the same time and it is incredible.

Damn, Bicyclette has inspired people with this contest. Picking a top three is going to be a nightmare for the judges.

ReedHoarse #6 · Mar 18th, 2022 · 1 · ·

11184232
11184375
Comments like this really make my day, thank you!

Ri2

Ri2 #7 · Mar 18th, 2022 · 6 · ·

These are the worst people I've ever seen. They're PERFECT for each other.

SlimCognito #8 · Mar 18th, 2022 · 11 · ·

This story is the embodiment of “I came looking for copper and found gold.” The pairing was totally unexpected but worked great thanks to your characterization of Wallflower and Vignette. The dialogue was hilarious and oddly sweet, especially when Wallflower opened up to Vignette. The finale was hilarious and tied things up nicely with the intro situation. Fantastic job writing this!

Thought Prism #9 · Mar 18th, 2022 · 7 · ·

If this God Tier romcom doesn't win I'm rioting.

Dan

Dan #10 · Mar 18th, 2022 · 2 · ·

11184188
The anime ends before things really pick up. Read the manga.

Anyway, Watamote and Haganai are two of my favorites. A lot of people consider them cringe-comedy, but I'm all "I know that feel."

Though Yozora's invective towards Sena pretty much sum up my thoughts on that Valencia chick.

Dragonblade722 #11 · Mar 19th, 2022 · 5 · ·

This was surprisingly hilarious and sweet. Both Vignette and Wallflower were utterly toxic and I loved every single minute of escalation.

ShadowLDrago #12 · Mar 19th, 2022 · 3 · 1 ·

How is it that a relationship this toxic manages to be weirdly heartwarming? This feels like Discount Aragon, but in the best way possible. This is such a unique story. Well done.

daOtterGuy #13 · Mar 19th, 2022 · 6 · ·

Howdy, hi!

I loved this. My god, I was laughing the whole time through. This is the trash gremlin representation I wanted. This is hilarious in the worst and best way possible. Also, I don't know how you managed it, but this story is both anti-chemistry and all the chemistry. The characterization is just perfect, and I loved every minute of reading this.

One of the best stories I've ever read, thank you for this!

Orange_Peel #14 · Mar 19th, 2022 · 6 · ·

As many others have said, this is a glorious piece of fiction. This seems like one of the early chapters of an autobiography of Wallflower Blush (maybe Human Horticulture; Or, How I Learned Not to Worry and Love the Internet?) since she seems -- as warped as she is -- a three-dimensional character. This Vignette is more like a complete inversion of The Truman Show in that Truman was a perfectly real person unknowingly embedded in a fake 'reality' while Vignette is a perfectly fake person unknowingly embedded in a true reality.

NaiadSagaIotaOar

NaiadSagaIotaOar #15 · Mar 20th, 2022 · 4 · ·

This is an excellent demonstration of why Vignette is the best person

FanOfMostEverything

FanOfMostEverything #16 · Mar 21st, 2022 · 9 · ·

This is exquisite. The Startrix school of people bonding over being horrible and enabling one another, with the additional bonus of social media, that great toxic catalyst of the worst in all of us. Hilarious throughout, especially once Wallflower builds up some conversational momentum. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.

justheretoreadstories

justheretoreadstories #17 · Mar 22nd, 2022 · 2 · ·

“Now, where was I?” continued Vignette, tapping her chin in an exaggerated fashion. “Oh yes, your HoofTube channel, I’ve done the research and nobody wants to hear actual reviews of movies nowadays, you should just react to other people’s movie reviews. And you should show your face more often, you’ll get hundreds of comments criticising your appearance, and hundreds criticising those critics, all of which will fuel the algorithm, and speaking of faces, your thumbnails-”

Good job summing up the clickbait nature of social media.

Griseus

Griseus #18 · Mar 28th, 2022 · 2 · ·

Fascinating look into a world I don't think I ever could be of. Kept picturing this dialog happening in the 1980s or '90s though. My time when I was young I figure.

BlueMoonHarlot #19 · Apr 2nd, 2022 · 1 · ·

That was incredible, I had to pause to cackle

TasermonsPartner

TasermonsPartner #20 · Apr 7th, 2022 · 1 · ·

The Sequel: After the Starswirl Music Festival, Sunset gets the members of PostCrush to join the Friendship Jail.

They sit across from Wally and Vignette.

Juniper gets to film them interacting.

Juniper's followers count skyrocket.

Rainbow and Pinkie get involved and dare the two groups of semi-friends into a prank war.

Sunset and Sci-Twi try their best to keep things from getting outta control.

They fail.

Fluttershy sits there petting Spike and looking waifu.

Spike has gaga eyes for PostCrush's mascot.

...And Applejack wonders why Rarity keeps wanting to play baseball with her all of a sudden. At least, she thinks that's what it is. Why else would Rarity be so insistent about watching her swingin' a bat at something?

BlueMoonHarlot #21 · May 2nd, 2022 · 1 · ·

Good God this was funny

Bicyclette #22 · May 13th, 2022 · 4 · ·

“In our defence,” said Vignette, before pausing and looking to Wallflower. “Wallflower, babes, finish that sentence for me pls.”
“How do you pronounce ‘please’ like that?” Wallflower asked.

hahaha, love this already

Wallflower Blush always arrived at least thirty minutes late to any given social event. This way she could avoid the unspeakable horror of being alone with another person.

#relatable

Even still, the only person she could see through the window at their usual table in the Sweet Snacks Café was Juniper Montage.

it's a small thing but i appreciate very much the é properly being in Café

“Great.”
In the silence that followed, Wallflower frantically ran back through the last few lines of conversation, trying to figure out where she’d gone wrong.
“Oh! And you?” she added, far too late after the fact for it to sound natural.

oof, too relatable

And then there was Juniper Montage. Somehow Wallflower was so awkward that any conversation they attempted was dead on arrival. Wallflower had started actively avoiding her, being sure to leave brunch early to avoid the risk of travelling to their shared bus stop together. Wallflower did feel bad for disliking her. It wasn’t Juniper’s fault Wallflower was so awkward.

augh, flashbacks to navigating friends of friends in a similar way

You’d think being green would mean a blush wouldn’t show up very well on your skin, but in Wallflower’s case she just ripened into a great big anxiety tomato.

aww, love the phrase "great big anxiety tomato". evocative!

Juniper cocked her head. “Didn’t you read the group chat?”
Wallflower felt a familiar sense of dread. “N-no?”
“They’re not coming today.”

ooooooph

She suspected that a lot of why Friendship Brunch existed was the hope that if they put Wallflower and Juniper in the same place for long enough they would become friends. Well, it hadn’t worked in fifth grade when the teacher had forced her to play with another shy kid, and it hadn’t worked now.

aww! i mean, it worked for Starlight and Trixie, and that one wasn't even intentional!

“Rare told me who I was meeting. I looked you up, two and a half thousand followers across two platforms is great, truly fantastique,” Vignette said the word ‘great’ like it was an insult, and ‘fantastic’ with a faux-Prench pronunciation, “but you should be using your movie-based content as a jumping off point for producing something more marketable.”

haha, wow, that is quite an introduction! these characters haven't "progressed" much beyond learning that killing people with magic is bad, but that is what makes them fun

Wallflower preferred to call it Friendship Jail. Only in her own mind of course, which is where most of her speaking took place. She wouldn’t get away with calling it that in front of Sunset or Twilight.

hehehe, that is a good thing to call it

“Exactly! You see, I used to only be concerned with making me myself but better, but when the Rainbooms publicly defeated me, their follower count nearly tripled, and do you know what I realised? I realised I can help other people be their better selves, so I’m here to be your friend by giving you actionable advice on your e-celeb endeavours. You’re welcome!”

i love how consistent she is in her worldview here

She hadn’t had someone she could hate guilt-free since Sunset had decided not to be evil anymore, which Wallflower had thought was very inconsiderate of her.

love it

“I don’t think I have,” Wallflower croaked.
Vignette spared her a nod. “Great to meet you.”
She’d already turned back to Juniper when Wallflower said, “You too.”

oof

Interestingly Wallflower found that the idea of being alone with Vignette didn’t give her any anxiety at all. Apparently her brain found her too far removed from anything resembling a real human to reckon her into her social phobias.

haha, the uncanny valley, but good!

Alone with Juniper Montage.
That was unacceptable.

i mean, surely they have at least one thing to talk about now!

The sleeve of Wallflower’s jumper had even been in the blurred background of Vignette’s picture of the sundae from the café. She felt like she was a tiny part of a piece of art that had been forgotten less than ten minutes after it was made. It was like a hibiscus, only blooming for a single day.

ah, what a beautiful moment of contemplation...

It was Saturday again, and brunch was proving to be much the same as the previous week, with Sunset and Twilight still away saving the world from whatever horse-related business was going on.

i do love Wallflower dismissing Equestrian magic as "horse-related business"

Juniper’s eyes widened a fraction at that. Wallflower winced. That would be a sore spot for her after the whole magic mirror thing.

aww, sympathy for Juniper!

“Melted crayons, and you know why that worked? Because thirteen year olds can’t be convicted for false advertising.” Vignette put a hand on Juniper’s shoulder and smiled softly at her. “Do you see what I’m trying to say?”

i am delighted by how sociopathic this character is!

Juniper was trying to get Friendship Brunch back on track from its detour into Vignetteland.

she really is coming across as the most sympathetic so far to me

“I’m quiet and I like plants. That’s basically my whole personality. If I suddenly start talking, all I have is plants, and plants aren’t a personality.”

augh i can hear her voice say this so much

“I find that hard to believe,” said Wallflower. “You’ve heard yourself, right?”

gottem

“No, but if I never say anything out loud, there’s always the possibility that I’m as interesting as I sound in my own head. If I start speaking and I’m not interesting, then I have nothing.”

how dare you call me out like this

“I don’t know what to say. You’re insulting me, but it’s so layered in self-deprecation that I can’t say anything back.”

the winning strategy, Wallflower is very wise

“No, you did, I’m Green Girl. My mom held me the day I was born and said, yup, that sure is a green girl. If we call her that, then it won’t even matter if nobody bothers to learn her name.”

so Wallflower it hurts

“Blocked,” she said.

hehe, it's the meme!

Meanwhile, Juniper was, well, a good person. From the way she told it, she wasn’t always that way, and she could be a little annoying, but she was mostly fine. Nice, by all measures. Paradoxically, she just couldn’t seem to befriend her as a result.

oof! this is just like being friend-zoned. except it's about being friends? acquaintance-zoned?

And Wallflower was a little bit in love with her. She didn’t consider this to be notable. Wallflower developed a crush on just about everyone who she interacted with for longer than ten seconds who wasn’t named Juniper Montage. She usually just ignored it until it went away.

so dysfunctional, yet so self-aware of it. and a logical extension of her whole love-and-hate-at-the-same-time thing with Sunset. love it!

VV [12:03]: green girl?
Wallflower’s heart pounded in excitement.
Me [12:03]: I have a name you know
VV [12:04]: i kno
VV [12:04]: its green girl
Me [12:04]: Blocked

hahahaha, love this

She felt a warmth spreading through her. Seeing Vignette’s words on the screen reflecting her own created a sense of closeness she hadn’t felt in a long time.

oof, you are selling this all too well

Sunset and her friends came back to school on Wednesday. At lunch Sunset told her about some horse god of horse chaos that had been horsing around and had needed stopping with horse magic and that had taken the better part of two weeks. The usual.

never gets old

“We’ve been messaging quite a bit. She’s quite interesting once you get to know her, so you don’t need to murder her with your lightning whip.”
“Don’t need to what now?” asked Rarity.

hahaha

VV [09:00]: y do i even message u

augh, how do you capture these conversations so well!? i am honestly floored

“Vignette, I- I keep telling you, my name’s Wallflower,” she said in the most pitiful voice she could muster. “Please stop calling me Green Girl.”

ahahahahaha i love it

“I don’t sound like that,” said Wallflower.
“That’s fine, nobody knows what you sound like.”

gottem

“Is… is this a good thing?” asked Sunset.
“I don’t know,” said Rarity.

my reaction exactly

“So yeah, you’re welcome!” she turned her fingers to the three at the other side of the table.

i hate how she somehow has a point here

She was, after all, actually starting to care what Vignette thought of her, a real fondness growing alongside her crush.

oh no, stakes!

“Is this what people do when they hang out? Stand around saying things they see?”
“I don’t know. I sort of had the vague idea that’s what I’m supposed to do in someone else’s home?”

hahaha, ah, i totally do this, too

Vignette nodded slowly. “You’re sort of like a horror novel, I know that every page is going to bring some new, terrible revelation, but I’m so intrigued I keep reading.”

it is very funny to realize that Vignette's feelings toward Wallflower are a perfect mirror image of the reverse, considering how easily i fall into Wallflower's perspective

Probably Squeaky Clean in third grade who stopped being friends with her after she lost her glittery gel pen. Then Squeaky had gotten her own glittery gel pen and was too cool to let Wallflower borrow it.

oof, you never do let those things go

“Aw, we’re a couple of socially stunted weirdos,” she made a show of awkwardly patting Vignette on the shoulder.

hehe, so true

“Hey, I had extenuating circumstances! I was all full of bitterness after years of being ignored and stuff.”

so true!

Vignette gave her an appreciative look. “Love it, creates intrigue. And I don’t like to use the E-word, I’m driven. When you’re a girlboss like me, it’s called being driven.”

augh, why can't i hate her? why can't i hate her at all?

The messages weren’t dissimilar to the kinds of things her brain liked to tell her people were saying about her behind her back.

oof, this really says a lot about our society

“I bet you say that to all the girls you get into your bed.”

smooth!

Soft pretty cute warm.
Say none of those.
…

augh, i love this bit

It must be so exhausting going through life never expecting anything good to happen to you.
Shut up, Vignette.

of all the positive influences to take into her head as a voice, Vignette Valencia... augh, i hate so much how well this works

Vignette made a noise like a distressed cat. She gave her a final squeeze before letting go of her and rolling off the bed, instantly killing Wallflower.

i would die too

They got takeaway from the ‘very in’ place, and Vignette artfully arranged hers on a plate so she could take a picture of it. It felt silly, but it was her job, it was how she made money. Wallflower was coming to appreciate that. She still made fun of her for it.

augh, understanding!

Wallflower shrugged. “I don’t know, you’re the internet celebrity. Maybe one of those pranks that’s really just a crime?”

commentary!

“I guess I’m a fan of petty revenge,” she said.
“I’m also a fan of revenge,” said Vignette slowly.

i hate how well this works i hate how well this works i hate how well this works

Now that was an image she liked. She’d been imagining Vignette ineffectually pounding on a vehicle with her fists, which was great in a Vignette being pathetic sort of way, but if she was swinging around a baseball bat, that would be very… cool. Very driven of her.

yes, adopting her vocabulary!

Vignette was posed, bat slung over one shoulder and looking like she was ready to break something for utterly stupid reasons. This was the sort of thing that made fancy ladies in olden times have to fan themselves lest they faint.

so true

Wallflower pictured Vignette swinging the bat again and dissent from any part of her brain that tried to tell her this was a bad idea was immediately quelled.

relatable

“I love it when you get like this,” Wallflower said, unable to keep the sigh out of her voice.

Wallflower is down bad

She imagined herself in front of a judge asking why she’d committed her many heinous deeds, and all she had to do was tell him a cute girl wanted her to do it, and he’d understand.

this feels very Douglas Adams somehow, except more gay

“So you were going to do this to show you cared about me?”
“Mmhmm!”
Wallflower put the hand Vignette wasn’t holding over her mouth. She felt like she might cry. “That’s so sweet!”
“I thought so too!”

aww, that is just so sweet!

And as the car alarm started Wallflower kissed her. Vignette kissed her back. And that’s all there was in the whole world.

earning the climactic kiss scene is at the center of many shipfics' efforts. i have seen very few that come close to measuring up to this one. it's beautiful and i love it

“Probably not? You were doing it with a friend, so it can’t be that bad, right?” said Wallflower, not convincing even herself.

and isn't that what the point of the whole series is about? that friendship is magic? if anything, they should be commended!

Vignette looked at her.
She looked at Vignette.
They all but jumped on each other.

perfect

“Wallflower, this is it. The lightning whip, she’s going to kill me.”
“Rarity, please don’t kill my girlfriend, she’s not used to her actions having consequences,” said Wallflower.

love this recurring bit

Rarity had her mouth set in a line. She took a deep breath. Her face wobbled and broke out into tears. “That is the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard. Why don’t I have anyone who’ll break expensive things for me based on misunderstandings?”

so Rarity and so true

“Exactly. I like PostCrush, you know,” said Sunset. “K-Lo didn’t deserve that.”

aww! and after going through a Groundhog Day hell because of her, i can't imagine how personal this would be for Sunset

“Look, I don’t blame you. I used to be so whiny and entitled, but being whiny and entitled was sort of my whole personality, that and movies. So now that I’ve stopped being whiny and entitled, all I have are movies. And movies aren’t a personality.”
“Er…” What on earth was Wallflower supposed to say to something like that? That was the worst thing she’d ever heard anyone say.

augh, i love how Juniper was perfectly set up to be shipped with Wallflower by having this in common with her as well as being a genuinely good person inside hoping to better herself, and they could help each other see the worth they don't see in themselves, and that is totally what would have happened in a conventional shipfic where the characters are uncomplicatedly sympathetic, but this one just does not go down that road!

But, well, Juniper was a good person. Nice, by all measures. She didn’t deserve the amount of flack Wallflower’s brain gave her.

aww, character growth!

“I can’t help that I’m the most interesting person in any room,” said Vignette.
Wallflower smiled at her. “I think I could do that.”

and of course, sticking the landing with a genuine moment of connection and growth is the perfect way to end the fic.

what can i say? this is one of the best shipping stories i have ever read. the characters and their voices just popped like nothing else, awful and unhealthy and senseless while just so completely real and believable down to their very roots. i hated it and loved it and loved how much i hated it. thank you so much for this gem!

J Carp

J Carp #23 · May 17th, 2022 · 2 · ·

"You can read all about it in my blog post ‘My Experience With Magic And How I’m Working On Myself #selfimprovement #BYBB’ or watch my video about it, it’s the one with the no caps title ‘i’m sorry’, don’t confuse it with the one called ‘my apology’, and don’t watch the one titled ‘i messed up’, I no longer regret what I did to her."

It's not like this story wasn't going to win me over; I just didn't expect it to happen so abruptly.

EDIT:

“I want your number because you’re oddly fascinating.”
Wallflower still hesitated.
“Are you sure you don’t just want it so you can block me?”
Vignette rolled her eyes. “It must be so exhausting going through life never expecting anything good to happen to you.”
“That would be something good happening to me.”

What's the word for being somehow won over more after already being completely won over?

Patchwork Dreams

Patchwork Dreams #24 · May 24th, 2022 · 1 · ·

God. This is so hella gay. It's the gayest thing since that one episode of Black Mirror. This is the gayest story I've ever read. And I adore every single moment of it. It's just... It's beyond gold, what you've made here

pubbyrot

pubbyrot #25 · Oct 11th, 2022 · 3 · ·

Incredible. This fic sold me on a ship so fast. The introvert who has morally snapped x the absolutely terrible extrovert is so REAL. Immaculate energy from these two.

Moproblems Moharmoney

Moproblems Moharmoney #26 · Nov 25th, 2022 · 1 · ·

A Grade. Perfect, absolutely perfect. Down to the last molecule.

Briny Rivers #27 · Dec 8th, 2022 · 3 · ·

probably the best shipfic ive ever and will ever read, ever

Arthor2017 #28 · Dec 13th, 2022 · 1 · ·

I haven't the time, nor the chance, to write this comment after the fic published but... could you do the sequel, please?

I want to see more Wallflower/Vignette relationship.

Surfing Pikachu

Surfing Pikachu #29 · Sep 28th, 2023 · 1 · ·

I loved this.

Sunshyne

Sunshyne #30 · February 26th · · ·

The way you write Vignette reminds me of a quote from Daria: "your shallowness is so thorough, it's almost like depth."

Viewing 1 - 50 of 30
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Login or register to comment

Stats

Page generated in 0.144 seconds
Total duration
1,039 users online
1,999,112 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday

• Site Statistics

FIMFiction

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024

• Privacy
• Cookies
• Staff
• Licenses

Follow & Support Us

Support us
SubStar Chat!
Discord Follow us
Twitter

MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®