Clover Leaf likes to come to the lakeside to think.
It's beautiful there.
(This is not an April Fool's story, despite the release date.)
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 1st Jul, 2019
- offline last seen 6 days ago
Krixwell
Just another brony from Norway. I swear I have nothing against Twilight Sparkle.
Krixwell
Joined 1st Jul, 2019 ·
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and then when i sing this song for you
ohhhh
Huh, this is actually really cool, better than I was expecting. A bit heavy on the 'tell', but it would've needed to be far longer and have multiple scenes for that to work, and the framing device of reminiscing makes enough sense. I look forward to more from you in the future.
11200802
Thank you! And yeah, I wanted this to be a fairly quick piece that let the reader know just enough about Clover Leaf to build up to the twist, while also being told from her perspective while she was already at the end. It's a static perspective reflecting on how it became static without realizing it's static.
The reminiscing angle also allowed me to play with her unreliable narration a bit more, setting up things like her completely broken sense of time and lack of certainty on things she definitely should know. It's entirely possible that she doesn't even remember the details a more scene-heavy format would include, actually.
Oh dang, that was a neat twist. What nice subtle horror with her situation, yet there's also some serenity.
11202510
Thank you!
aww, i love this little mini-story, it fits so well in the whimsical world of MLP
a small detail to date this story to before the canon storyline, love it
all these OC fantasy species names that fit in just so seamlessly into the world! really makes it feel like the Everfree
oh hey, those mares!
augh, it's such an awful thing to do but at the same time i could see how her dad could convince himself to live with himself for doing this
a twisting of the knife in her gut. does she even have a father at this point?
aww! Clover Leaf describing her little hut earlier really did make me think of Zecora.
ah, this line is just heartbreaking
augh.
the
at the very beginning, the little details she seems to forget, the repetition of the word "stand", the "long green mane" at the beginning, and the incongruity in the timeline between having grown up knowing Chiffon Swirl and watching Fluttershy and Zecora in the present all come together to this. such a chilling twist, masterfully executed. you got me. you really, really got me.
excellent stuff. thank you.
11244522
😁 I'm glad you liked it!
Slowly ramping up the incongruities and hints at the unreliable nature of what remains of her mind (particularly her busted sense of the passage of time and the uncertainty of things she definitely should know) was one of the most fun parts of writing this.