• Published 15th Jan 2022
  • 1,472 Views, 7 Comments

The Great Author - Toon



Anon (you) have just turned in your greatest story to Twilight and after waiting she finally comes out to tell you what she thinks.

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So What Do You Think?

Your excitement was at an all-time high! You've been working tirelessly to achieve this moment. Endless nights with nothing but caffeine and sugar keep you on the right path.

Even Luna was perplexed on how you had endured what could only be described by her as a blood moon's rise effect' whatever that meant.

Regardless you had built years of story and character depth with countless rewrites of what could be your biggest impact on any world you were in. Even though you were stuck in the pony kind.

You were pacing back and forth outside of Twishine's door, she was in disbelief that you could even read let alone make a story but you showed her!

You puff out your chest, pride swelling in all the gloriousness. This was your moment Anon, this was going to change the world of literature!

...

Okay maybe a little overblown but why couldn't you allow yourself a little ego boost, you worked tirelessly on this! And just then the door slowly creaked, Tileshine slowly creeping in to only see you rushing up to her.

"AH!" Was the only thing she could put out before falling over.

"So what'd you think? Amazing right? What do you think of the characters? Amazing right? I know I know and with-" before you could put out another word Twidlet shut you up by putting a hoof on your mouth.

She had this worrying face" I uh, listen Anon don't take this the wrong way but...how did this get past the approval staff?"

What? How could she say that! It was the best shit she probably has ever seen! I bet she never even learned how to read!

You scrunched up your face at her, "how dare you! I worked really hard on this!"

She deadpanned, "Really?"

"I did! I thought the princess of friendship would be a little more accepting!"

She face hoofed and muttered something about knowing this should have been a joke.

She slowly right herself to sit on the ground. "Okay Anon walk me through this, how'd this get past the approval team?"

"Well if you must know, I did a story beforehand, It went through and they deemed it acceptable." You held your chin up with pride.

She closed her eyes and tried to connect what was going on before re-opening them. "I- okay so what does that have to do with the approval wait time?"

"Well since I already did a story beforehand and they approved it they said I could just put any other stories in the automatic approval queue. I mean I immediately got three downvotes on it but those are just dislike bots!"

Her eyes opened at that and almost threatened to grow bigger than her face could hold.

"They said WHAT?!"

"They trust me as an author! An artist! Why do you get yourself so uppity about it? I mean sure I have to submit it in folders and groups and sometimes find out they don't accept stories even though that's the point of a group-"

She breathed in and out calming herself before continuing, "Anon I mean this in the nicest possible way if they let you publish this I can't and will not, as a princess and a librarian, let this stand."

"Oh come on Twiddlestick, who's going to really go through all the stories that are submitted? I mean what's the chance that some story will legitimately break the system?"

"Anon there's regulations and moderation and-" she used her magic to pull your beautiful art up in the air. "Then there's THIS! What would happen if this got past it? I'd sooner eat a book than let that happen again! I mean this doesn't even have the right tags! You also have a horrible choice in storytelling and half of this is just self-inserting and fantasy fulfillment!"

"HEY! I resent that! that's more than half!"

Oh my god, of course!

You gasped at the incredibly obvious meaning behind Twigshindig's words. "You're right Twittle Dittle!"

"I-wait, I am?" She knit her brows, "also my name is Twi-"

"Of course!" You pulled her up with your arms to match eyesight. "I can't believe I never saw it! If my masterpiece could go unnoticed like this then what would happen to others like me!"

Twilight facepalmed and grit her teeth and yelled out in frustration.

"ANON-"

"Not now Flashlight! I need to be quick on the gun and get this published! And also see if there are others like me! I heard about the strongest writer somewhere and me as a pencil or something. Oh! And something about a leech!"

"...Anon that sounds like the stupidest descriptions of fake people you could make." She was unamused by your wonderings.

"Hey! Those people are real!" You pushed your nose up to hers to give a serious expression then you faltered a bit at it. "Well, okay maybe me being a pencil is a little ridiculous.

She raised her eyebrow at that, "A little? And that's what's ridiculous to you? The world's strongest writer? A leech? A leech Anon, that just sounds like Chrysalis in disguise trying to 'leech' off scandalous stories to feed off lust."

"How dare you! They are real! And they have very good stories that I read just for the plot! It's not my fault they so passionately make it! Oh shit, I gotta get this out there!"

You dropped her and picked up the rough drafts of your work and gun it for the door to share this piece of art to the world. As you opened the door it glowed with a purple hue and was closed and locked.

"Uh Twit tat, what are you doing?"

She was seemed a little ticked, "I. Am. NOT. letting you spread that garbage!"

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay...Twiglet was probably having an artistic moment.

"Tigbig take a deep breath." You motioned your hands to calm down, but she didn't have any of it.

"NO! I'M TIRED OF YOU CONSTANTLY MESSING UP MY NAME! AND THAT STORY NEEDS TO BE DESTROYED!" She flared her horn and spanned out her wings.

Okaaaay maybe this was getting a little out of hand.

"Okay, I hear what you're saying so how about we put down the lasers and give big ol' Anon a hug, hm?"

"NO YOU HEARD- Wait for what- you mean it?" She seemed to calm down a bit.

"Of course, come here!" She calmed down and slowly took a couple of steps forward. She was very hesitant, but you put on that big smile of yours.

When she came close enough you rolled up your rough drafts and swatted at her. "Bad pony! Bad!"

"Agh! Anon! What? Agh, stop that! Ah!" You kept batting at her.

"Bad pony! Bad! You were very mean!"

"Ah! I'm- Ow! I'm sorry!" She cowered in fear at that swatting.

"I don't have to bring the sprayer do I?"

Her eyes widened, terrified she nodded.

"Good! I'm going to go publish this story and you are going to sit in the corner and think about what you did, understood?"

She opened her mouth but you pulled the paper bat as a warning. In response, she closed her mouth and nodded.

"Good, maybe after this we can have a civilized talk." You turn around to open the door, but as soon as you're about to leave, Twilight whispers something under her breath.

"If you CAN be civilized"

You whip around immediately, "THAT'S IT I'M BRINGING OUT THE SPRAY BOTTLE!"

"NO!"

Author's Note:

I- I wanted this to be a satirical take on the being a writer like as in my experience- but uh. What the hell was that?


Uh- does it help if I say I'm trying to get over writer's block? No? Okay...Also if there is any of the aforementioned authors reading this uh, I'm sorry... But Leech is the best lowkey-

And uh if you're still reading this uh please get some therapy after reading all this...

Comments ( 7 )

I love meta humour.

Naw, therapy can't help me. I'm too far gone. *giggles incoherently in the corner while licking a chinchilla and rocking back and forth*

I love it, and am grateful for my editor so I don't end up like that

I like how apparently any of the shows villains could have won with a sufficient volume of spray bottles.

OMG. This Story makes fun of FimFiction in the best possible way. I love how you called out, Shakespearicles, BTW.

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