• Published 3rd Jan 2022
  • 646 Views, 11 Comments

Those - Str8aura

  • ...
0
 11
 646

Them

The multiverse is a large place.

Trillions of dimensions, stretching beyond perception or counting, containing infinite sets of individuals, alternate versions of the same creature reflected into parodies of parodies of parodies until the only semblance of a connection that echoes across variants is a cutie mark, a few shared personality traits and physical descriptions, and a name.

Curiously, across all infinity, a name never dies.

And every dimension is tied by strings spreading out in a great spiderweb of time and chance; and at the center lies the spider, the nexus of the cosmos, the origin of storms, the world that devours worlds. Like a black hole, it pulls weaker planets from their places, determined to one day swallow all that exists.

And after those unfortunate worlds die, their table scraps amalgam, into a planet that defies reason, that holds thousands of ponies from different worlds, refugees who now find themselves at the center of the multiverse, on a planet that detests their existence.

And for a planet that wants all, owning duplicates is a matter of little concern.


"Fun! Kill me! Fun!"

Bounces and echoes of a small handful of stock phrases chased Coco Pommel as she leapt over a gap between crumbling tile floors. The hallways she ran through were barely recognizable as a place where order once prevailed; they had since been painted over in varying shades of pink, flowers and abstract shapes graffiti onto the walls and floors in perfect asymmetry. Out the shattered windows, the sky shimmered with streaks of glitter and spun sugar hovering in the air amidst the bedazzled clouds. The building she was running through had been shattered into floating chunks high above the bouncy furry floor that covered this expanse of the planet, a great pink plain above which thousands of oddities and eccentricities, including the last vestiges of what might have once been civilization, floated.

Coco dragged a handmade map out of her bag as she ran, quickly jotting down in an unmarked sector of the continent with a mouth-held pen,

world where everything is pink

world where everything is terrible

world where ppinkie pie rules

just dont go here

That seemed succinct, not too wordy, just the way she liked her names.

"Fun!"

It clipped her as she was turning a corner; one of the malformed Pinkie clones, more of a heap of pink sludge held by a vague shape of a pony, tackled her to the ground and began cackling uncontrollably, content to pin her down as the others approached down the hall.

Coco cried out in pain, wiggling on her bruised back against the firm grip as the Pinkie began screaming in her ear.

"ʀᴇʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴍᴇ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʜᴇʟʟ ɪ ᴄᴀʟʟ ꜰʟᴇꜱʜ! ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ ᴄᴀɴɴᴏɴ!"

It exploded. The last thing Coco heard from the smoldering remains of her head was a chipper "Thank you!" before something leapt over her, skidding on the ground next to her and training a sharp horn towards the sky before releasing in a blindingly powerful beam down the hallway, tearing through half the building.

Laughs died down as the beam dissipated to fiery wisps from the pony's horn. Coco pulled herself against the wall, shaking off slushie-like bits of clone from her pelt as she braced herself to look her savior in the eye, preparing to come out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Fire was certainly right. She could have mistaken the other pony for Celestia, if Celestia's hair and wings and eyes were all on fire and she scowled a lot. The alicorn's head whipped around to watch her with a piercing glare, and Coco froze against the wall. Her trembles grew as the alicorn turned and approached her, holding herself tall and powerfully as Coco tried to fold herself back.

Finally, the alicorn stopped, an inch away from Coco's face and exhaled a steaming hot gust of air towards her.

Coco's entire body was shaking at this point, but she somehow found strength to lift a hoof, gently extending it an inch in friendship to the alicorn. Fiery eyes darted towards the offending hoof.

After a moment of hesitation, she raised her much larger hoof, and the two gently tapped them together.


Dinner that night was scant, but Coco still gave much of it to the Alicorn. It had been a long time since she had engaged in social etiquette, but she still remembered how to treat a guest. Either way, she wasn't much a fan of the rat meat the Alicorn wolfed down with noticably canine teeth, and resorted instead to nibbling at Pinkie Pie Clone Sludge from her corner of the room they had lit a fire in. Cupcake wrapper kindling burnt brightly as they fed.

When the Alicorn finished gulping down a seemingly still wriggling package, Coco extended another olive branch.

"I... like your armour. Doesn't that... hurt?" She gestured to one of her flaming wings.

The alicorn spoke its first words in a reverberating growl. "I burn eternally with the rage of ten thousand suns.

Coco let that thought simmer.

"...Okay."

"How long have you lived on this planet, child?"

"Just a few months. I mean, I don't really know how I got here, but maybe... you do?"

"The past matters not. All I can prove to exist is today, of which I have spent fighting and killing from my moment of awakening."

"That's nice. I, I spent my first day hiding in a cardboard box, but then I got hungry."

"What do you desire, child?"

"I'm... I'm 32, but I guess I just want to... go home?" Coco meekly licked at her hoofful of sludge.

The alicorn nodded sagely. "I wish for the conquest of this world, as all others. To become its supreme leader, and rule over all with an iron fist, as I did where you may call my 'home'."

"That's... I mean, go for it, but I don't think this planet really has a government. Or... order, of any kind. It's just kind of a hodgepodge, pardon my french."

The alicorn now tilted its head. "You. You know this world better than I do. Join me in my conquest, child, and I shall grant you boons beyond anything you could know."

"I..." Coco paused. She looked down at her trusty golf club slung over her back, which had done absolutely nothing to the clones. Or the changelings, or the Ursas, or the Umbra. "You'll laser anyone who tries to kill me? And, err, not laser me?"

"You have my divine protection. Join me, or die on this wretch of a land."

"I guess that's kind of an open and shut decision." Coco extended her hoof again. "Coco Pommel, but you can call me Miss P- Err, Coco, Miss."

The Alicorn stood up proudly, clutching their peytral. "Those who fear and love me know me as Daybreaker, Princess of the Sun."

Coco nodded. "Oh, like Celestia?"

Daybreaker raised an eyebrow. "An imposter?"

"...Nevermind. You were a princess back- You used to rule back home? I was a, a seamstress." Coco thought back fondly. "If we could find just one territory that used to be, like, friendly, happy, nice sewing dimension, I'd probably live there. If it's okay with you."

"Your honesty is appreciated, but there will be no defecting."

"Yeah, I figured, you know, iron fist and whatnot."

Coco returned to her eating, flicking back and forth between her map and a speck in the distance, outside of the windows of the floating pink office building they resided in. Standing on a mound of what looked to be ice cream was a black speck, in stark contrast to the lavender night sky. The fact that it was the only thing besides them that was still said something.

"Did you bring a friend?" Coco asked.

Daybreaker stiffened, a rat tail still poking from between her teeth. Rising, she approached the office window.

"I did not."

"Okay. Well, don't panic, but I think someone's following us."


world where invisible monsters attack in the darkness

world where tiny murderers attack in the darkness

what keeps attacking us at niught time

oh

world where the moon is evil

Daybreaker and Coco sheltered under a tent in the middle of the moon scorched desert. Coco sweltered under the oppressing heat, but Daybreaker seemed content, and the flames naturally radiating off her didn't help the conditions much. Worse still, the alicorn continued to soliloquize to nothing as her mortal partner applied wet towels to herself.

"I have stood on hallowed ground detestful of life and beaten it to a standstill. Nothing this world offers me stands a hope of breaking me."

Coco wisely swore off reminding her that she had only seen a small sample of the collage of possibilities the planet served.

"You, child, may one day be as strong as I if you stand by me. A princess does not often offer her peasants-"

"Can you call me Coco? The last princess I was subservient to back home at least called me 'loyal subject'. I pay taxes, I have a mortgage, I'm not homeless." Coco suddenly griped, noting how antsy the heat of the moon made her. "Well... I mean... I wasn't."

Daybreaker shifted her wings, in expression of what emotion Coco didn't know. "Words to speak with do not rank you above me, any more than being born would. As long as I am trapped here, you are an asset, but you are not an equal."

Coco glared angrily. Daybreaker's gaze broke first.

"...But you are still under my protection. 'Peasant' is implied. The least I can offer you is to stop using it to describe you specifically."


world thats just a bunch of trees

world thats just a bunch of trees and distant roars

world where everyone is a dinosaur

"Oh gosh! I've got this, hold on, let me get my needle." Coco paused, purse held in her teeth. "Do you like the Sanrio purse? I got it on discount."

Daybreaker moaned as blood gushed from her hindleg.

"You're right, another time, I'm so sorry."

Daybreaker leaned her head over the log she was crashed against, firing another beam at the orange cowboy-hat wearing velociraptor to scare it off as it ran in for another bite. Coco scrambled to work over her, ears lowering as her needle drove into Daybreaker's tough skin and elicited a sharp hiss from the Alicorn.

"Be careful, you fool!" Daybreaker spat venom.

Coco looked up to her indignantly. The alicorn had long since lost her scariness, especially with her life in Coco's hooves.

"Alright, calm down, I'm saving your life, Miss."

"I could swallow a bomb and emerge unscathed, you oaf."

"Then... why are you lying on the ground after the T-Rex Fluttershy bit you?"

Daybreaker fell silent. Coco hesitated in sewing the torn skin, taking a more lecturing tone.

"You have really gotten a big head, Miss. I know you're an alicorn princess, but my old alicorn princess was at least sensible. She would never throw her status around, or claim to be better than us, like you do every time I just try to have a conversation. Now, you can apologize and thank me for helping you, or you can... go somewhere else for a while!"

Daybreaker froze, even her flames flickering to a standstill, looking genuinely dressed down. Finally her gaze hardened again and she slumped back.

"I... apologize. Many thanks, child."

"Coco."

"Many thanks, Coco."

Coco resumed her work, tugging her head back with the string clutched tightly. When Daybreaker experimentally flexed her leg, Coco swatted her.

"Let it heal." Coco dug into her bag. "Err... I'm glad we had this talk. Do you want... a peppermint?"

Daybreaker eyed the procured candy with an all seeing eye. "Define."

"Define please. It's like, a spicy mint."

Daybreaker hesitantly took it, and quickly shredded it in her fangs. Absentmindedly, Coco took the alicorn's jaw in a hoof and delicately peeled back her lips like a dog to examine the fangs.

"You need to take better care of these. I mean, I know we don't exactly have toothbrushes out here, but you could at least use a toothpick."

"I will offer you lenience I would not offer most mortals. However, I am still a princess, and a god. And I will not brush my teeth." Daybreaker growled.

Coco couldn't help but notice she obediently kept her mouth shut for Coco to examine as she talked.

Several hours after they had left, a clawed foot stamped on the discarded wrapper of a peppermint lying amongst the leaves.


world where the mane six are evil

world where the mane six and the princesses are evil

world where the mane six, the princessess, the pillars, and the student six are evil

world where everyone is evil

"I can heal, but it will take time. I will now go into a sleep to let my alicorn magic rejuvenate me. Do not fret for my safety. I am only slightly dead. It is good for me."

"Okay."

Daybreaker took a bold stance, chin pointed to the sky, and promptly collapsed into a heap. Coco stifled a giggle before shortly falling asleep next to her.

Coco awoke a few hours later to a crunch. She quickly realized she had been cuddling Daybreaker in her sleep, and stood to part herself from the still snoring alicorn, looking towards the source of the noise.

And suddenly she was there, and Coco got her first good look at her. Bipedal, with hands not unlike a human's. A flowing dress of Argus Panoptes Peacock feathers, a white boa around her neck, two ram horns on a decidedly avian body. And pink. Coco had bad memories of pink.

"Good morning, child."

"It's the middle of the night."

"It's always morning somewhere. Especially here."

She spoke with a gravelly, masculine voice despite her feminine form, circling idly around Coco like she was sizing up prey. Coco found herself compelled to circle with her, keeping between her and the sleeping Daybreaker at all times.

"Coco Pommel, is it? It's a pleasure to finally speak with you." One eye seemed to zero in on Coco. "You may call me Eris." The predator courteously said.

"...Good... evening. We don't have anything you want. We'll be out of your hair if you let us."

"That won't be necessary. I don't intend to rob you, only to make... a transaction." Eris tapped her staff on the ground like a walking stick as she circled, facing away from Coco.

"And what transaction would that be?"

"I enjoy my little trips down here. This planet is never boring, but of course, it's hardly somewhere I'd like to stay. In a predicament such as yours, well, options are limited, but the multiverse is bound to have a few planets similar enough to yours to pass. How would you feel, returning home to a planet so close to your old home you noticed no difference?"

"I've read enough about Faustian deals, err, Miss...ter? I know better than to take you at face value. Especially, you know, while standing on the land where everyone's evil."

Eris shrugged. "Bad timing on my part. Very impressive work chronicling this place, by the way. It'll be ruined next time a world is absorbed and becomes a land, so it is, of course, useless, but still very impressive." Now she slunk closer, gently tapping her staff on Coco's head, where she felt a short jolt of static magic before she pointed a claw at a spot on the map. "This land will be destroyed by tomorrow. I can feel it in my bones. It will just as soon be replaced by another danger you'll have to learn, and learn, until you one day slip up. Is that really the life you want to lead, child?"

Coco shivered, not meeting her gaze. "A-and I guess you can save me? If I give up something? What, my soul? My heart, or money, or chance at happiness or something? There's some s-sick twist?"

"There's always a sick twist here. You'll find me to be much more generous in that regard. To put it succinctly, you have something that belongs to me. The only reason I've bided my time, the only reason I give you a choice, is because living and sane souls are so rare to find down here. I offer you the chance to return to the home you crave, as long as you return my property without a fight."

The meaning finally hit Coco, and she slunk into a protective stance boldly, trembling like a leaf all the while. "What do you want from her?"

"She doesn't belong here any more than you do. Nobody belongs here, and she forgets the one way to achieve the dream she so valiantly speaks of. Returning to me gives her a place at my side. Would you be a dear, child, and swallow her pride for her?"

"That's n-not my choice to make."

Eris chuckled, and stopped suddenly, now making a slow beeline for the two of them. "You're right. It's mine." Her clawed hand reached forward, directly for Coco. "Perhaps a few days wasn't time enough; Regardless, I've no reason to-"

"A few days!" Coco blurted out, halting the being in her tracks. "You're right! This isn't fair! I-I need some time myself! One more day, tomorrow afternoon, you give me until then, and I'll have an answer."

The creature froze, her claw lifting slowly.

"And besides..." Coco considered slowly. "For someone as long lived as you... what's one more day?"

"...Very well. One more day. You will know when. This is hardly a complicated offer, child. Do not expend my leniency."

The creature vanished in a contemptuous snap. Coco's eyes fell back on Daybreaker.

"...Coco." She bemusedly corrected.


world where nothing went wrong, please, for just once let this be a normal world

world where painted warnings of the end times on the sides of buildings are really popular

zombie world

"I'll check it out. Stand guard, please. If you hear a scream, please come save me."

"Understood."

The inside of the warehouse wasn't nearly as interesting as all the buildings in Pinkie Pie world. She could no longer tell if she preferred gaudily bright bubblegum pink or concrete grey, but the city raised girl in her preferred the latter. Several unicorn skeletons lay at the door as she entered, seemingly dead after weeks of beating at the door that could only be unlocked from the outside. She couldn't help but feel a little earth pony superiority.

She almost kicked herself for not noticing the zombie chained by the wrist to the radiatior behind a small leather bag full of lumps on the ground, likely dropped by one of the skeletons, but quickly took a step back even despite its predicament. Interestingly, it was a human, despite most of the inhabitant's zeds being pony, but the cutie mark emblazoned on her tattered skirt was recognizable enough.

"Sunset... Shimmer?"

Sunset shot a slow peace sign while scratching at one of her exposed ribs.

"You seem to be doing well, for your situation."

Sunset shrugged. "What can you do?"

"That's the spirit. Can I...?" Coco gestured to the bag.

"Yeah, go ahead, but you know, if you get too close, I'm going to eat you."

"That seems fair." Coco crouched down, carefully approaching the bag, hand inching towards it. Sunset's good foot- the one that wasn't detached from her leg- twitched.

"What brings you to our slice of heaven?" Sunset murmured tiredly.

"I'm travelling with a friend." She made a swipe but drew back when Sunset threw herself forward, reaching out with rotting hands. "Hey, do you know this, uh, Slice of heaven?"

Sunset fell back, settling down into a sit. "Hell yeah. Well, I mean, I did, before I was chained to a radiator."

"Oh. Sorry about that."

"Don't sweat it, I'll gnaw my arm after a good nap and be right back on my way."

"Okay, have fun with that." Coco stretched her own legs out to the bag and tried to sandwich it between her hooves. "Do you know a... big bird?"

"A crow?"

"No, like a bird that walks on two legs."

"A crow."

"A girl! It's like a girl, I think, but also a bird. Really big dress, magic staff."

Sunset chewed her lip, dripping a black oily substance from her teeth before snapping her fingers. "Ah! A ha. Heh. You wouldn't happen to have a Celestia on you, would you?"

Coco's heart sank. "N-no. I don't. Is that-"

Sunset lunged forward again, growling as she tangled with Coco, the seamstress barely fighting off the much taller form before finally grabbing the chain and pulling it taut, shoving it up against her windpipe to push Sunset back. raising onto her hindlegs for added height, Coco fell forwards, using her momentum to slam Sunset's head against the radiator. The length of chain severed her neck cleanly, and her rotting head hit the ground with a squelch. The bod squirmed for a few minutes more as Coco dived for the bag, tearing it open. Inside was the largest collection of doilies she had ever seen. Coco groaned loudly at her luck.

Sunset's head continued the conversation as if nothing had happened. "You're sure you don't have a Celestia on you? You can never be sure who you are out here. I thought I was Sunburst for years."

"I'm sure."

She rolled about sadly with a forlorn expression. "She collects those Celestias like stamps. If Eris is after you and you don't have a bargaining chip, You'll be going my way soon enough. Sorry, stranger."


zombie world

actually the zombies aren't so bad

"Hey, Day."

"Speak."

"Where would you go first if you had a way off this planet? Like, to anywhere you want."

"I would find the nearest civilized planet. I would go to its leader. And I would slaughter him, to prove my superiority."

Coco glanced aside at the rubble of the buildings they passed as they walked down a suburban street. It was more than a little weird, seeing Daybreaker's anachronistic armour as she wore it past burnt out cars.

"And I'd be there?"

"Of course. You would be my most trusted advisor as we began carving our legacy into time and space. The conquer will last until the last sun burns out, and the fear we leave behind will last longer." She spoke confidently, proudly, her flames reaching an apex with her emotions and burning brightly down her neck.

Coco smiled despite herself. "I don't think I'd mind that. Not with you."

Daybreaker's eyes narrowed. "Why do you ask? And... where do you lead us?"

Coco stopped in the middle of the street, glancing up to a sudden flash in the sky. "Good luck," was all she murmured before reaching around her back for the bag slung over it.

The flash grew and grew to encompass all, and when it finally cleared, Eris let her feet touch the ground and drifted to meet them. When Daybreaker took her in and the shock faded, the alicorn snarled, foam and spittle flicking from her mouth and a memory flashing in her eye as she suddenly grew rageful, and in a split second was on Eris like a dog.

And like a dog, she was put down. Eris snapped her fingers and Daybreaker crumpled to the ground, breathless and surrounded in an eerie green glow. Coco's eyes widened.

"Asleep. Not much of a transaction if the package is broken, is it?"

Coco stumbled towards her fallen form as if in a trance, eyes never leaving Daybreaker even as she passed by her and over to Eris. The creature tapped her claw against her staff, waiting.

"Come around, have you?"

"I-I.... I need..." Coco forced herself not to whisper. "I need you to see something. First."

Eris raised an eyebrow. "Intriguing. You believe it to be worth my time?"

"I...Do. V-very worth your time."

Hooves trembling, Coco lifted the leather bag and slowly opened the drawstrings as Eris leaned towards the opening, squinting.

There was a head inside.

"Hey." Said the head.

Eris's eyes widened.

Sunset was launched out of the bag as Coco chucked it into Eris's face, and the head latched onto Eris's cheek ravenously, chewing through it in seconds as Coco ran for Daybreaker, only to find her already awake, bolting to her hooves as the glow dissipated. Coco had barely enough time to dive between Daybreaker's legs before the alicorn tilted her head back and unleashed a beam of fire, widening to encompass nearly the entire street as it consumed Eris.

When it ended, Coco was still trembling under her stomach.

"Warn... me... next... time!"

WHAT DID YOU THINK THAT WOULD DO?

Eris's voice bellowed from the crater, and Daybreaker took the hint, getting off Coco quickly and worming her head under the smaller mare to toss Coco onto her back. Immediately, she leapt into flight, Coco hugging her neck.

IS YOUR HOME PLANET SO BACKWATER YOU DON'T KNOW ONE OF THE THREE THINGS DRACONEQUUI ARE KNOWN FOR? CHAOS, TRICKERY, AND I DON'T KNOW, BEING IMMORTAL?

"Pull back! We can't leave!" Coco tugged on one of Daybreaker's ears, cringing at an ember.

"What do you mean we can't leave, Coco?"

Eris cut them off before they could leave, racing through the sky on spread wings and colliding with them, wrapping her claws around Coco's throat and falling through the air towards a rooftop, slamming her into it. Pain shot through Coco's head, and she couldn't be sure she didn't black out for a moment before Eris throttled her back and forth, screeching.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WORTH THAT STUPID, STUPID DECISION? WHAT COULD- YOU.

She raised her hand and caught Daybreaker in a psychic grasp, shaking her like a toy as she burned indignantly.

IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE BEING SECOND TO ME BEFORE, FLEEING TO THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE WASN'T THE WAY TO DO IT. YOUR CHAINS WON'T COME OFF FOR THE REST OF... THE REST OF...

Eris faltered, her grasp on both fading as she looked around dumbfounded. From her tall rooftop, she could clearly watch as the city crumbled around her, buildings, roads, and trees withering into dust and atoms rapidly and randomly.

Coco coughed. "Thanks for telling me this part's being destroyed today." She laughed feebly despite herself. If collapsing an entire city on top of Eris didn't work, it wasn't like they had much of a chance to begin with.

Eris pulled her claw back to rake them across Coco's face, releasing Daybreaker from her psychic hold for just a moment. Daybreaker seized it, concentrating sunlight into a dime sized beam and impaling it through Eris's eye. The draconequus stumbled, and Coco was dropped over the side, towards the decay that rushed up the building face to meet her.

Coco felt fire on her cheek.

"Not yet, Coco. I think I'd miss you."

Coco opened her eyes, realizing she was hugging Daybreaker's neck, and only hugged it tighter as she turned back to watch Eris prime for another jump, only to scream as she began to wither away.

"It won't kill her. Only delay her."

"Let me hope, just for a second." Coco breathed. "Thank you."

"We haven't known each other for long, yet you never considered bargaining me for a second. You've done well as an advisor."

"You've done well as a princess. What do we do now?"

Daybreaker slammed into the ground, skidding a path through the dirt as she made her arrival known to the ground of whatever land they had ended up in. Coco slid off her back.

"You need a new map. And a new name for the new lands. Until we find a way off, we keep going."

"Yeah? Together?"

"Together. We deserve it."

Comments ( 11 )

You are truly one of the best on Fimfic.

I meant what I said in last week's thread; some of your strongest character rapport I've seen takes place in this fic.

Coco paused. She looked down at her trusty golf club slung over her back, which had done absolutely nothing to the clones. Or the changelings, or the Ursas, or the Umbra. "You'll laser anyone who tries to kill me?"

This tidbit especially feels like something I myself would have written on a really really inspired day. Most of the goodness in this story comes from how deliberately info is disclosed to the reader. Both the pacing and the sequencing. And I can confirm that since I know actually know who Eris is, rereading this was nice and rewarding. Keep up the good work, and may your bucket never run out of multiverse adventure tales.

Sweet.

Random though: if this world randomly brings in crap from all over the universe, Eris is kinda taking a risk in visiting so often - sooner or later she's likely to run into something that can match or surpass her, say a version of Cosmos even nastier than that in the comics, or the actual Grogar with his power-draining bell. Even if Draconequi are unkillable (a head canon with which one might quibble, given some events on the show), they certainly can be drained of their powers, imprisoned, and possibly much worse (to quote Jafar in his evil genie form, ""you'd be surprised at what you can live through", and that's talking about regular humans). Pride goeth before destruction.

11106857
The fourth thing draconequui are known for is brashness.

I think I'm a little biased since I have one of the comics where Eris appears in so I'm semi-familiar with the setting and a lot more so with Eris herself, but the prologue was still quite helpful since this isn't the same setting as Nightmare Knights', as I realized a little too late.

As a counter to Casketbase, I think one of the strengths here is the info that wasn't disclosed, leaving the reader having all the necessary information and some of the unnecessary (but still fun-to-read/immersive) details... and then a few burning questions that aren't answered. You don't answer how and why Coco ended up here in the first place because that's not the point of the story (and the story doesn't need it); all I can guess at is that Daybreaker went away from Eris in part due to Daybreaker's egotistic personality and in part due to Eris simply... well, being Eris, but I know not more than that. Sunset simply just appearing and seeming a lot more world-weary than expected...

In a sense, reading this felt like being in Coco's shoes, not just for the obvious reason of having her as the main character. The story feels like that planet in the middle of everything: info is just thrown up at you, and there's only the slightest bit of outside-of-story context that makes it sensible, but the little chaos we've got is enough to make a whole world (or some) out of it... and of course, a story. It does help that, while the story's core is something about a friendship forged through fire (I think that's what this is... it's certainly a strange set of trials to go through, at least, when one of those trials is the megalomaniac tyranny of your travel buddy), that friendship is a pair I think I've never seen before.

And... hey, good foreshadowing on one of Daybreaker's lines on how to defeat or delay Eris.

Thanks for the story! It was a great one.

11153168
I KNOW I've written good foreshadowing when even I don't remember that foreshadowing. Daybreaker said what now?

11153983
Oh, I did a brain fart; it wasn't one of Daybreaker's lines but Eris's:

"This land will be destroyed by tomorrow. I can feel it in my bones...."

Superb!

Silly question, was Sunset patient Zero in the zombie world?

11271104
We'll say sure!

11271246
Ta, just seems appropriate. Maybe she brought the plague through the mirror portal or something like that.

Login or register to comment