Fallout: Equestria - Coffee Hunter

by MuseoSansPony

Coffee Run: Hoofington

Alope wretched as he choked down another RadAway and healing potion. That last enervation field had been the worst by far and he was gaining 10 rads/min, but he made it to the Marebucks manufacturing plant. If any place in this hellhole of a city had coffee beans, it would be here.

He opened the door and peaked inside, the lights flickered on and revealed the rusted hull of a brainbot. Signing in relief he took a step in the door. There was a soft ping as a thin wire was broken. Alope instinctively dived out of the way as several apple grenades fell from the ceiling and exploded, launching him back into the enervation field. his vision swimming with red, he made it back to the doorway and drank another healing potion. It tasted more bitter than usual and didn't have as much effect on his new shrapnel wounds.

"Fucking hell!" Alope screamed in frustration, "I just want coffee! IS that too much to ask?!"

Alope took a few breaths to calm himself before entering the building once more. this time sure to check for traps. It took him a little over and hour to find and disarm the various explosive traps. Clearly somepony did not want visitors, but he finally made it to the factory's office. On the executive's desk was his prize: Marebuck's dark roast. He was so excited he almost tripped another trap. Once that was disarmed, he finally claimed his prize.

When he picked it up however, he began hearing a soft beep that got faster. "Celestia dammit!" he screamed as he tossed the coffee beans and ducked behind the desk.

The coffee bean bag exploded in a ball of flame. In the silence that followed Alope whimpered, "All I wanted was a cup of coffee..."

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

What makes Alope so sure the coffee will be any good after 200 years?

[Mittens of flabbergast]

10949071
Well, that's kind of a fallout thing. Those games are full of two hundred year old food for chowing down. Even the original fallout equestria has them chowing down on centuries old food.

So I'm gonna guess equestria and prewar America had really good preservatives lol

[MuseoSansPony]

10949071
Preservatives. The beans will not be fresh by any means.

[Alope Ruby Aspendale]

10949322
welp, good enough for me lmao. Not like there's fresh coffee plants in the Wasteland.

[MuseoSansPony]

10949786
There might be a radioactive mutant coffee bean out there somewhere. Maybe in Coffee Hunter 2?

[Biker_Dash]

I empathize with Alope. I'll go to great lengths for a good coffee.

[Alope Ruby Aspendale]

We need cover art for this.

Meet me in my office, Miss Sans :3