That Has Made All the Difference

by Puppo530

Two Paths Diverged in a Yellow Wood

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back."

---

That Has Made All the Difference

Rainbow Dash landed gracefully on the cloud with expert poise and precision. She let tension fade from her legs once she had a sure footing. Standing on clouds appeared to be strange and weird to earth ponies and unicorns, but pegasi got used to them fairly quickly. Every now and then, they would suddenly become in grips with an existential thought that they were standing on water vapor that had condensed onto particles in the air, but this would pass when they would remember that they had been doing so their entire lives.

She slowly trotted into her home. Posters of the Wonderbolts dotted the walls here and there. A kitchen sat to her left with a staircase to her right. Of course, her entire home was made out of either clouds or cloud-suitable material. She galloped up the stairs to her bedroom. Here, she took off her uniform and neatly folded it. She stowed it away in her dresser, for use tomorrow.

Exhausted, she bounded into bed. She snuggled up underneath the covers. She thought about the many hours of practice she had used up today. This was expected of her. The Wonderbolts were the top pegasus group in Equestria. They were so famous they had a new show practically every week. It was glamorous, and it paid well, but there was no time left in the day for other activities. On occasion, she would get home so late that she only had time for a power nap before having to return to practice.

She loved performing in the shows, don't get her wrong on that, she just hated practicing. The endless task of performing the same twist up to infinite times. The constant yelling from other Wonderbolts to go "faster". The sharp scoldings after messing up their otherwise perfect routine. In the end, however, it was all worth it. The satisfaction of executing a perfect show surely outweighed the constant pressure and stress from the practicing, right?

Rainbow Dash was unsure to the answer of this question even today as she lay there under her covers, desperately trying to get some peace and quiet after a long day. If she didn't get enough sleep, she would be groggy and sour at practice. This would lead to some mistakes at practice, and she couldn't allow mistakes to happen.

A knock came from the door below. With a sigh, she pulled the covers off her body. She slowly went down the stairs, turning on lights as she went. She flew open the door with her mouth to see her best, and pretty much only, friend Fluttershy.

"Oh, hi Fluttershy."

"Hello Rainbow," Fluttershy said in her usual just-above-a-whisper voice. "I was wondering if you wanted to come to a party on Saturday."

"Who's throwing the party? You?" Rainbow wouldn't think that Fluttershy would ever be that much of a socialite to throw a party in her cottage.

"No, Pinkie Pie." Rainbow Dash recognized the name, but hadn't really gotten the chance to meet her acquaintance.

"That pink earth pony who's always throwing parties and whatnot?"

"Yes. She's kinda become one of my dear friends. You should really meet them. I just know you'll get along splendidly."

"Oh, and who are they?"

"Well, there's Twilight Sparkle, she's the new librarian from Canterlot. Then there's Applejack, she's a farmpony down at Sweet Apple Acres. There's Pinkie Pie, and you know her. And there's Rarity, she's a fashion designer."

"They sound interesting, and I would love to meet any friends of my best friend. So when's this party?"

"Six o'clock."

"Oh, I'm busy then. Got a show in Manehattan. Maybe another time?"

"Yeah, maybe..." Fluttershy trailed off. They stood there awkwardly for several seconds.

"Well, sorry. I gotta go. Got some sleeping to do."

"Sleep? It's seven!"

"I know, right? These Wonderbolts are driving me crazy. But it's fun..." This time Rainbow trailed off, leaving the question still open. "Well, bye Fluttershy."

Rainbow Dash closed the door made out of clouds. Another missed opportunity at friendship. Her only friend was really Fluttershy, but now that she's in the Wonderbolts and that Fluttershy has four new friends it's really given them less time together. Sometimes she wished that she wasn't in the Wonderbolts so that she could be more socially active. She imagined herself in an alternate universe, with a bunch of friends doing wild and crazy things together.

But she was in this universe, and that fantasy would have to be put to rest. In fact, she was almost sure that in the alternate universe, her alternate self would only wish to be in the Wonderbolts. She was that pony's dream, and she was hers. She could quit the Wonderbolts, but that was out of the question. The Wonderbolts needed her, even if they didn't show it. She was the one that the Wonderbolts deserved.

As she went back to bed, she once again wished that she had friends instead of a ticking clock running her life like a fascist government. It was necessary for the good of the Wonderbolts, but it didn't make it any easier to bear. Before falling asleep, Rainbow Dash began to cry. She cried for her friends that she would never have. She cried for the life she had chosen for herself. She cried for the opportunity to go back and change it all.

But there would never be an opportunity. No magical time-traveling machine would come and transport her so that she could convince her past self of not joining the Wonderbolts. There would be no alternate universe portal that would switch the two Rainbow Dashes so that she could live in the friend universe. Nothing like that would happen. She made her choice, and now she has to live with it. You can never escape the consequences of your actions.

Because this is real life.

---

"I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

- "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost

---

Alternate Ending Line: Because this isn't a sci-fi fanfic. This is a sad fanfic.

FUN FACT: Robert Frost originally wrote "The Road Not Taken" to make fun of his friend. On their walks, he would be slightly OCD about which way they went, taking way too long to decide. Funny how one of the most famous poems ever is making fun of his friend.

AN: Man, look at how snooty this looks. Who quotes a poem in a fanfic? Seriously!

When I first read that poem, I thought it was more positive. I thought it was something like, "I took this path, and things are much better off now." When I came up with the idea for this story, I thought about this poem and thought about it in a different light. I now think something along the lines of, "I took this path, and it's been really bad. I should've taken the one more traveled by."

Anyway, hope you like it.

- Puppo530

Comments

[Mordecaiser]

weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/cool-story-bro-obama.jpg

cool story bro

[Some Kinda Brony]

So, Rainbow, what have we learned?
Never join the Wonderbolts.
Right, your goal in life will destroy your life.

All jokes aside, this was a really sad fic. Nice work.

[Secret_Shadows]

I have to say, I don't usually read the new updated stories unless they have a good rating (I know that's a bit mean of me not giving stories the benefit of the doubt) but this story drew my eye.

An Interesting concept for a short story, I must say done very well in my opinion.

But I pose a conundrum to ya, Who is the element of loyalty in this universe? (Sorry, but someone was gonna ask sooner or later, lol, you don't have to answer that question.)

Anyway, This story is really good, Good Job, Thumbs Up, Favorited.

[Aramadon]

I did not know that about Robert Frost. And we studied that poem in high school. You think they would have told us something like that.

I don't usually see all that much point in sad fics, because it doesn't show someone or somepony overcoming their problems, but I liked your depiction. I especially liked the sentence: "As she went back to bed, she once again wished that she had friends instead of a ticking clock running her life"

[Scribblestick]

Well, it's reviewing time!

Honestly, I expected a lot more out of this. Don't get me wrong, it isn't bad. It just isn't... much. I mean, half the story is the poem and author notes. I just think you could have done a lot more with this idea and shown how Dash's lack of friendship has made her different from the Dash we know from the show.

However, what you have is great and does convey some emotion. I thought the poem was used fairly well (though including the whole thing was a bit much), and it left me with the feeling that Dash really does have a hole in her life. It just didn't come across as that big of a hole, or at least not as big as I was expecting.

But, hey, maybe that's what you get for going into a fanfic with high expectations. Hope this helps. In the meantime, I have a train to catch.

[Softy8088]

I really like that poem; it's one of the few I can recite entirely from memory.

As for the story: It's an interesting idea, but it's not really developed in any way. It's just asking the reader to imagine RD without friends. There's no real plot to speak of and there's only the barest hint of any characterization. When RD cries, I feel nothing, really. There's nothing outright wrong with this story; it's just rather empty.

[Puppo530]

1244941
I just thought that Celestia would actually have to do it again (Celestia actually having to save the world? Impossible!).

1244992
Thanks for the reviewing. I agree that it doesn't have... 'enough', if you get what I'm saying.

1245183
I think being "empty" is something that is outright wrong with it. I also agree that it's "empty" (see above sentence). Thanks for the review.

I now know that if I want to write an even sadder story, I make you actually like the character, and then kill them off . This story could've used a few good deaths...

[Scribblestick]

1245415 Well, you don't necessarily need a death. In fact, sometimes its sadder for a character to have to live with her regrets. But hey, whatever you think works.

[Duskrider]

I typically don't comment when people are generally saying what I'm thinking, but there's a few key points that the other comments aren't quite hitting that I wanted to say. First the points I agree with, an interesting concept (though questions about how RD would have joined the Wonderbolts without even having won the young fliers competition to this point, and how Nightmare Moon is defeated without the element of Loyalty, etc. However, those are secondary to this world), pretty well written overall, and just on the side I agree a lot with your interpretation of the Frost, mostly because it all comes down to how you interpret that sigh in the last stanza. But I digress.

The main issue I see is that we're not given enough to connect with Rainbow's decision and the consequences of it. The Fluttershy conversation makes an attempt at this, but there's nothing shown by Rainbow that anything is actually missed. There's no attempt at reconciling (which could also fail to emphasize it), no remorse shown by Rainbow, nothing that makes us (the readers) feel that it means anything to her. We've nothing to connect to the loss of friendship in that whole conversation, and granted Fluttershy would not likely have a lot to say, especially if Rainbow and 'Shy aren't as close, but the conversation feels stilted and wooden and impersonal without that connection.

The Pre-Sleep paragraph makes a good attempt at trying to get the readers to connect, however its lost in a very clear show vs. tell issue. We never get the emotional investment to justify the "Before falling asleep, Rainbow Dash began to cry." Rainbow hasn't displayed enough emotion to let this conjure a visceral image for us. We're left with a feeling of "Oh well" as we're told that she's crying. A deeper description of how Rainbow breaks down with some sort of build up would help this section immensely.

Again, the build up and showing of the breakdown isn't the only way to handle this. If the bluntness of the "Rainbow began to cry" is something you want to go with, then there has to be a bigger build of what Rainbow thinks she's missing and what it might mean to her so that when the readers arrive at the crying they can connect with what Rainbow is thinking and feeling. To be honest, giving the readers more of that connection would be better, regardless.

Finally, the finality of the last statement is great, but we're not given the consequences she's facing as she sees it. What we have of her consequences is that 1.) she can't make the party Fluttershy invited her to, 2.) and I quote "the life she had chosen for herself". Saying that the consequences of her decision is her life is practically an empty statement and certainly doesn't evoke anything in myself personally. It's simply a true statement. Without any consequences to connect to Rainbow's life, saying that "You can never escape the consequences of your actions" doesn't ring true enough. Heck we've all had to tell a friend at some point, "ooh sorry I can't make that I've got work, or a paper, or a project, or a family trip, or something". So seeing Rainbow turning down a party invite because of her job, a performance no less, is completely reasonable. We, as an audience, know how her life would be had she gone the way of the show. Rainbow does not know this, so the only consequences she can connect with are the ones she imagines for herself. And unfortunately none are described here, so we are left with the impression that Rainbow honestly doesn't care. Which is a legitimate response, but does not evoke sadness nor connect with living with the consequences if you don't think about them and don't care.

Anyways, I just wanted to get a little more specific because the concept is intriguing and there's a lot of potential here. I certainly am not here to dictate how any writer should write. Even if you disagree, which is certainly your right to, I hope that you'll take some of my broader points under consideration, regardless. I think the general critiques warrant some consideration even if you disagree with the specific examples listed.

Best of luck to you.

-Duskrider

[BlackWidower]

A few questions, so she joined the Wonderbolts before she met Twilight and the gang, so why did the primary RD not sign up? I'm sure there was a reason.

Next, who replaced Rainbow during the Nightmare Moon incident?

[Puppo530]

1268893

Maybe this Rainbow Dash is more determined and more confident in herself. Maybe the primary one did sign up. Who knows? I would like to point out what Duskrider said

...those are secondary to this world

.

The other one was answered.

I just thought that Celestia would actually have to do it again (Celestia actually having to save the world? Impossible!).

1245818

Wow. Thanks for that review. I will take it into consideration in the future.

[BlackWidower]

1270095

She's the one they had to save. You can't just ignore this shit!

[Duskrider]

1270418

In many ways you can, because this isn't the story of the Elements of Harmony. It's assumed that the world is saved from Nightmare Moon somehow, either there's another Element of Loyalty or Celestia took control herself or some other such thing (there are some that believe Celestia simply allowed Nightmare Moon to regain power and "imprison her" so that Twilight and her friends could achieve their potential, because Celestia being captured by Nightmare Moon makes little sense as she had 1000 years to prepare for the return). Whatever the case, it doesn't affect the story of this Rainbow Dash, it all takes place completely separate from this storyline. At the end of the day there are millions of ponies that aren't an Element of Harmony that do go about their daily lives, including the Wonderbolts, and there's nothing to say that another embodying the Element of Loyalty wouldn't have arisen or that NM wouldn't have been re-imprisoned or one of a hundred other things. It isn't all that impossible to think that the ponies not going through the specific events would put that much stake in what happened, heck at the GGG the upper class certainly didn't afford the Elements any special deference or even appeared to recognize them, mostly because it barely affected them as we could assume that those events would barely affect RD.

In my opinion anyways, that doesn't require that much suspension of disbelief, simply the recognition that the rules and the history of canon don't apply.

1270095

I hope you found some of what I said helpful, I do try to be constructive.

-Duskrider

[Puppo530]

1270645

Thank you! Someone understands!

1270418

To provide more backing for Duskrider's comment, here's a quotation from John Green's great book, "The Fault in Our Stars",

"But to be perfectly frank, this childish idea that the author of a novel has some special insight into the characters in the novel... it's ridiculous. The novel was composed of scratches on a page, dear. The characters inhabiting it have no life outside of those scratches. What happened to them? They all ceased to exist the moment the novel ended."

In other words: What do you think happened to the whole Nightmare Moon story? Who do you think replaced Rainbow Dash?

In retrospect, this was kind of harsh, but oh well.

[yayme]

Pretty good story. Kind of short, and I think could have used some more build up.
But still a pretty good story.

As she went back to bed, she once again wished that she had friends instead of a ticking clock running her life like a fascist government. It was necessary for the good of the Wonderbolts, but it didn't make it any easier to bear. Before falling asleep, Rainbow Dash began to cry. She cried for her friends that she would never have. She cried for the life she had chosen for herself. She cried for the opportunity to go back and change it all.

I think these are the best lines. Maybe because, sooner or later, we all think 'what if?'. Or wish we would have made a different choice, sure that our lives would be better. But would they be?

[Puppo530]

Eventually this will be put in its own chapter, but I don't want to make people angry at me for spamming their favorites boxes, so it's here for now.

That Has Made All the Difference
IMPROVED VERSION
More info on why it's improved here.

Rainbow Dash gets home from Wonderbolts practice.

Rainbow Dash realizes that she has no friends.

Rainbow Dash cries.

The End

((I hope you guys appreciate all this work I'm putting into improving these old stories for you.))

[Shine]

kind of short but good . wow I could never think of this story you very smart.