• Member Since 15th Apr, 2021
  • offline last seen Aug 9th, 2023

Foxtrot315


History buff, gamer, sometimes writer and philosopher, male, and above all a love for legos.

Comments ( 23 )

The war was over, but the cost and price paid were not worth it.

The dead that lay were of all species buffalo, pony, griffon, changeling, lamia, Abyssinian cats, dog warriors, Centaurs, all races covered the two hundred mile battlefield the dragons wisely stayed out of this war.

Huh that's a lot of dead bodies and a multinational one as well, the Dragons are going to have an awesome time exploiting the weakness that every Race is going through, I expect a happy times for Dragons raiding random Villages for gold and Gems for the next few decades.

The tunnels were collapsed before they could be captured and everything that all the species came to claim was lost. Weapons degraded and rusted, their flying contraptions and armored carriages lay either in smoldering ruin, or along with the weapons degrading.

Precious metals were all but buried thanks to the collapse of the mountain fortresses whole complex of tunnels taking yet even more to forever be entombed by the mountain itself.

Huh this is similar to that other story that has humanity travel to 1,000,000 Years into the future, only to discover that their suriving Race has been enslaved.

Wait so Medieval societies were able to defeat a modern mid-late 20th, early 21st Century army by just using magic and numbers?

God they would've needed an ridiculous amount of bodies to defeat modern Infantry Fighting Vehicles, Artillery and Helicopters. But it seems that the only real reason Humanity lost was because their mountain fortress collapsed in itself and Celestia was committed enough to exterminate them until she decided to turn against her "Allies" only after just killing the majority of Humanity.

Because lets face it, Humanity would have won if the Celestia had not personally joined the Battle and that will haunt her.

“Your race and the warrior dogs and cats dragged my people into your war on false pretense lying to me about everything.” The princess said coldly her voice low but even though it was low everyone in the valley in the shadow of the fortress heard it.

It is clear that she was misled by her "Allies", but their had to be Pony Nobles and Military staff who supported for such a war to happen in order for Equestria to take that path.

The griffons felt a weight suddenly crush them into the ground and pain seared every griffon on the planet as the alicorn let her anger be known.

So after fighting and likely crippling the Human Race, presumably using her entire powers that drained herself to the point that the Sun couldn't be moved for over 5 days, she somehow gains enough power to "cursed?" the entire Griffon Race, I know its an alt-universe but I'm pretty sure that the Idol of Boreas hasn't been stolen yet, although the MLP Timeline is a bit confusing.

“For thine act of using my sister and deceiving both me and princess Mi Amore Cadenza thou shalt forever be homeless, landless, and never be allowed to settle you will be nomads. Thou own races and peoples will forever be distrusted by all until thou learns the values of honesty and kindness. Until then thou will never be allowed rest nor granted peace you may create settlements, but thou will not be able to grow into a strong empire that thou hoped to gain from this venture!”

Celestia is in an extremely bad mood with all her "Allies" but the real culprits are usually leaders and commanders of the creatures and not the common soldiers who gave their lives away for a useless cause, granted this is Medieval army who usually do things that are against the rules of war.

But my single biggest complaint here is that Princess Mi Amore Cadenza should not exist, she was not born 1000 years ago, she was the baby sitter for young Twilight Sparkle and she wasn't even a Princess back then, Just google the images of her younger self in Season 2 and you can clearly see that she did not have a crown.

Three humans were dragged up a slope where the ground although visible was stained in blood.

Okay so we have Humans here.

The alicorn looked up the sky and switched the sun to the moon as the sun had been raised for five days now her constant battle with the dragonborn had made her unable to fulfill her duty,

But we have Dragonborn here?

Celestia was so committed in defeating the Humans/Dragonborn species to the point that she neglected to question herself whether she should have been committed to the battle.

Also leaving half of the Planet in Sunlight for 5 Days and the other half in Darkness is a complete and utter disaster.

All I can say is anarchy has likely fallen into many parts of the world with the chaos and panic from the Sun and Moon not moving, mass starvation and famine will become common since Plants either Burn or Freeze to death and crime becomes widespread with desperate creatures,

Not helped by Celestia using her powers to punish creatures causing even more devastation, suffering and death a lot of historical records and knowledge is likely to end up destroyed during the chaos that Discord Himself would revel in, if he were not in stone.

That battle for all intents and purposes was a Pyrrhic victory that will haunt all the survivors of the conflict and scar the landscape forever and will become an archaeologist equivalent of heaven in the future, it will also carry severe consequences for everyone and delay technological development for all creatures of Equus.

Zzt* This is overlord we have a lethal status storm inbound all scouts head to shelters. Zzt* Just as that was said I caught six ponies on thermals as a scout I had to identify any thermal signature and I was one hundred percent certain

Huh why the hell are those Six doing in such an inhospitable place, is their a magical McGuffin up their that is important enough to almost kill the Mane Six or something.

Also Humans have magic now.

10912990
Ill explain this a bit later but although the world has forgotten or let humanity fall into myth humanity hasn't forgotten and records are kept about every species. I wont get to spoiler as im trying not to leave massive information jumps which i could dedicate entire chapters too.
Okay first chapter dont know if you want to know or anything but spoilers im not sure so ill hide it just in case.
As for the first chapter the dragonborn had strict orders not to kill her for obvious reason such as being the one to raise the sun once she reached the battle though humanity essentially lost. After all Luna is gone celestia is basically handling the job of raising the sun and moon. Secondly Yes every species committed a majority of their populations to basically drown humanity in the last battle.
Later chapter spoilers
The ones that suffered the worse though were the changelings. Humanity is distrusting and paranoid by nature and the fact that their were a species that could imitate them this lead to serious damage being done to changelings because it became impossible to infiltrate due to well reasons.

Hope this answers some things if not well pm me and i can try and explain it a bit better.

Comment posted by clubbzz deleted Jul 26th, 2021

“Im Pinkie pie equestria greatest party planner and element of loyalty!” ‘Where did she get the cannons streamers and confetti from?’

Should be Laughter.

Three problems that need addressing:
1. Yes, your grammar and some of your spelling are an atrocity. FIX IT
2. The dialogue and POVs feel jumbled and hard to follow, Especially the last two chapters. There needs to be clarity as to who is speaking and separate the thoughts from the dialogue. It only confuses the reader.
3. The story and characters so far are confusing and unfocused. For each chapter, set a scene with intention for the plot and focus on the intention. Make each character clear. By that I mean, give them character and focus. And for the love of Shakespeare, give us time to digest information and explain to us what the hell is going on. Your sudden dump of exposition with Fluttershy's ability feels like it came out of nowhere while you still haven't answered why the 6 of them are there in the middle of nowhere. Don't jump from one plot point/exposition to another without explaining the other topics you left hanging otherwise it will be lost in the plot.

Please don't take this as an insult but as pointers on how to improve the story because this has potential and it could be a lot better with a little improvement.

10931167
Can do ill begin working on it before posting a new chapter

10912990
Well. From what we can tell, humans are native to Equestria in this AU so it makes sense they would be magic capable given everything else sapient has it.

11024981
My bios/UEFI got corrupted on my laptop and I’m saving for a new one it will be a month at least before I can get another chapter out. And I don’t want to type a story using my phone. my typing is a mess as it is without auto correct doing stuff to me. Though if you got any questions or advice feel free to pm or comment and I’ll answer as soon as I can.

Question, how the fuck do you curse an entire species into doing only these things and expect them to learn from it? That sounds kinda fucked up and would condemn generations of innocent people to needles suffering

Eh sorta ideas and weapons may make an appearance but no characters. Just weapons and ideas that would be a logical evolution in human tech. So no warhammer 40k titans or laser weapons or spaceships.

Hmmm very very interesting story going on here. Do hope to see more soon!

11222533
thanks, glad you're enjoying it thus far.

If the arrowheads are in him, how can you see them?

‘Oh well beats explaining the fact that her kind used to eat meat to help with some ailments.’ I thought to myself

That came out of left field.

good story hope for the next chapter

This is possibly the most disorienting story I have ever read.

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