History buff, gamer, sometimes writer and philosopher, male, and above all a love for legos.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Huh that's a lot of dead bodies and a multinational one as well, the Dragons are going to have an awesome time exploiting the weakness that every Race is going through, I expect a happy times for Dragons raiding random Villages for gold and Gems for the next few decades.
Huh this is similar to that other story that has humanity travel to 1,000,000 Years into the future, only to discover that their suriving Race has been enslaved.
Wait so Medieval societies were able to defeat a modern mid-late 20th, early 21st Century army by just using magic and numbers?
God they would've needed an ridiculous amount of bodies to defeat modern Infantry Fighting Vehicles, Artillery and Helicopters. But it seems that the only real reason Humanity lost was because their mountain fortress collapsed in itself and Celestia was committed enough to exterminate them until she decided to turn against her "Allies" only after just killing the majority of Humanity.
Because lets face it, Humanity would have won if the Celestia had not personally joined the Battle and that will haunt her.
It is clear that she was misled by her "Allies", but their had to be Pony Nobles and Military staff who supported for such a war to happen in order for Equestria to take that path.
So after fighting and likely crippling the Human Race, presumably using her entire powers that drained herself to the point that the Sun couldn't be moved for over 5 days, she somehow gains enough power to "cursed?" the entire Griffon Race, I know its an alt-universe but I'm pretty sure that the Idol of Boreas hasn't been stolen yet, although the MLP Timeline is a bit confusing.
Celestia is in an extremely bad mood with all her "Allies" but the real culprits are usually leaders and commanders of the creatures and not the common soldiers who gave their lives away for a useless cause, granted this is Medieval army who usually do things that are against the rules of war.
But my single biggest complaint here is that Princess Mi Amore Cadenza should not exist, she was not born 1000 years ago, she was the baby sitter for young Twilight Sparkle and she wasn't even a Princess back then, Just google the images of her younger self in Season 2 and you can clearly see that she did not have a crown.
Okay so we have Humans here.
But we have Dragonborn here?
Celestia was so committed in defeating the Humans/Dragonborn species to the point that she neglected to question herself whether she should have been committed to the battle.
Also leaving half of the Planet in Sunlight for 5 Days and the other half in Darkness is a complete and utter disaster.
All I can say is anarchy has likely fallen into many parts of the world with the chaos and panic from the Sun and Moon not moving, mass starvation and famine will become common since Plants either Burn or Freeze to death and crime becomes widespread with desperate creatures,
Not helped by Celestia using her powers to punish creatures causing even more devastation, suffering and death a lot of historical records and knowledge is likely to end up destroyed during the chaos that Discord Himself would revel in, if he were not in stone.
That battle for all intents and purposes was a Pyrrhic victory that will haunt all the survivors of the conflict and scar the landscape forever and will become an archaeologist equivalent of heaven in the future, it will also carry severe consequences for everyone and delay technological development for all creatures of Equus.
Huh why the hell are those Six doing in such an inhospitable place, is their a magical McGuffin up their that is important enough to almost kill the Mane Six or something.
Also Humans have magic now.
10912990
Ill explain this a bit later but although the world has forgotten or let humanity fall into myth humanity hasn't forgotten and records are kept about every species. I wont get to spoiler as im trying not to leave massive information jumps which i could dedicate entire chapters too.
Okay first chapter dont know if you want to know or anything but spoilers im not sure so ill hide it just in case.
As for the first chapter the dragonborn had strict orders not to kill her for obvious reason such as being the one to raise the sun once she reached the battle though humanity essentially lost. After all Luna is gone celestia is basically handling the job of raising the sun and moon. Secondly Yes every species committed a majority of their populations to basically drown humanity in the last battle.
Later chapter spoilers
The ones that suffered the worse though were the changelings. Humanity is distrusting and paranoid by nature and the fact that their were a species that could imitate them this lead to serious damage being done to changelings because it became impossible to infiltrate due to well reasons.
Hope this answers some things if not well pm me and i can try and explain it a bit better.
Should be Laughter.
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Fixed thank you.
Just read the story
...XENOS!!
Three problems that need addressing:
1. Yes, your grammar and some of your spelling are an atrocity. FIX IT
2. The dialogue and POVs feel jumbled and hard to follow, Especially the last two chapters. There needs to be clarity as to who is speaking and separate the thoughts from the dialogue. It only confuses the reader.
3. The story and characters so far are confusing and unfocused. For each chapter, set a scene with intention for the plot and focus on the intention. Make each character clear. By that I mean, give them character and focus. And for the love of Shakespeare, give us time to digest information and explain to us what the hell is going on. Your sudden dump of exposition with Fluttershy's ability feels like it came out of nowhere while you still haven't answered why the 6 of them are there in the middle of nowhere. Don't jump from one plot point/exposition to another without explaining the other topics you left hanging otherwise it will be lost in the plot.
Please don't take this as an insult but as pointers on how to improve the story because this has potential and it could be a lot better with a little improvement.
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Can do ill begin working on it before posting a new chapter
10912990
Well. From what we can tell, humans are native to Equestria in this AU so it makes sense they would be magic capable given everything else sapient has it.
Update?
11024981
My bios/UEFI got corrupted on my laptop and I’m saving for a new one it will be a month at least before I can get another chapter out. And I don’t want to type a story using my phone. my typing is a mess as it is without auto correct doing stuff to me. Though if you got any questions or advice feel free to pm or comment and I’ll answer as soon as I can.
Question, how the fuck do you curse an entire species into doing only these things and expect them to learn from it? That sounds kinda fucked up and would condemn generations of innocent people to needles suffering
Is this a crossover?
Eh sorta ideas and weapons may make an appearance but no characters. Just weapons and ideas that would be a logical evolution in human tech. So no warhammer 40k titans or laser weapons or spaceships.
Ugh.
Hmmm very very interesting story going on here. Do hope to see more soon!
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thanks, glad you're enjoying it thus far.
If the arrowheads are in him, how can you see them?
That came out of left field.
good story hope for the next chapter
This is possibly the most disorienting story I have ever read.