• Published 14th Sep 2012
  • 2,241 Views, 119 Comments

With a Knowledge of Everyting... - Lord Guffington

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A Zebra and Some Poison Joke Pt. 2

A Zebra and Some Poison Joke Pt. 2

My peaceful dream of being a macho Mexican wrestler(and losing) was interrupted by a manly scream.

"Que fue ese rudio? Es esto mi voz?!"

Fluttershy jumps into the room with a slam from the door. "Christian," a bass voice comes from her mouth, "we have a problem."

"Yo se," I said in Spanish as I got on my knees and throw my fists in the air.

"POORRRRR QQUUUUUEEEEEEEE?!?!"

+-x%

"Yes, and there doesn't seem to be a problem with neither Fluttershy nor Christian!" Hairity complained, her dreadlocks swishing all over the place. Do I have to say it again? It's Night! I should really wear a sign.

We were back in the library, every pony having problems from the Poison Joke. Except for Pike, the lucky bastard. Apple teeny was on my head, her orange coat blending in nicely with my red mane. Oh, and I'm in pony form.

"Fluttershy, is there a problem with you?" Twilight asked. The Pegasus nodded.

"Can you tell us?" She shook her head.

"Can you tell us, Night?" She threw emphasis on my name so she wouldn't have to listen to complain. I lifted my hoof and shook from left to right, giving the "kinda, kinda not" expression.

"Good heavens, just tell us already!" The tiny pony on my head stamped her hoof into my scalp, causing me to flinch

"I don't wanna talk about it," Flutterguy said.

"Yo tambien."

Every pony gasped before Spike started laughing uncontrollably. "Ha ha! So now we got Hairity, Spitty Pie, El Nighto, Rainbow Crash, Flutterguy, Appleteeny, and uh... I got nothin'. Seriously, Twilight Sparkle. I can't even work with that." Wow. I'm surprised he came up with a name for me already.

"Ha ha, this is no time for jokes!" Twilight shouted at the dragon, "We need to find out how to reverse this curse!"

"Que es esto?" I held up a green book with a plant on it.

"Hmph!(Insert spitting noise here)," Pinkie spat out.

"No! I've already told Spike there's no way it could be in there."

"Pero ese es el libro!"

"Enough gibberish! We need to fix this!"

During our argument, Rainbow freed herself from the deadly trap known as a ladder. "I think we'll find the cure to this curse at Zecora's place!"

"It's not a curse!"

"Ya mind settin' me down? Yer mane smells a bit... funny," Applejack said. I positioned my head for her to jump onto the table.

"I agree with Dash. We'll go to Zecora's and remove this hex!"

"It's not a hex either."

"Adios amigos!" I shout back to the group as I walk out the door. I'm quickly pulled back and onto the ground, and am met with the glaring eyes of Twilight. "¿Sabes que eres bonita cuando te enfadas?"

"If that was an excuse, it's not going to work." It was worth a try. Soon the whole room is in a state of confusion, making me trot of to a table and- Ohh, are those muffins?!

"Forget it, Twilight. It's time to pony up and confront Zecora! Come on, girls. Are you with me?" Rainbow cheered.

"I amphft!"

"And I as well."

" I don't know. Seems awfully dangerous," Fluttershy's bass voiced rumbled. Spike failed at keeping his snickering under control.

"What about you, whatever you choose your name to be?" I shrug. Twilight trots over and knocks the muffin out of my hoof. "And you, Applejack?" No response. "Applejack?"

Pinkie spits something I can't understand while Rarity gasps. "Did some pony step on her?" Every pony checked there hooves, finding nothing.

"Or sat on her?!" We checked our flanks as best as we could.

"Rarity's hair and Christian's mouth! It's big enough!" Pinkie checked Rarity's hair while Twilight forced open my mouth.

"Uh, alli?" I tried with my mouth still open.

"Ugh, heard of a toothbrush?" Twilight noticed something besides the mashed up muffing in my mouth. "Apple Bloom is gone too!" I push her away and pointed at the door. "Oh. Right..."

"Every pony to Zecora's!" Rainbow cheered right before sliding on the ground. "A little help?"

"Oopsie," Flutterguy said as she and Pinkie tossed her up, only for her to crash into a wall. I then dragged her by her tail through the streets.

"I can walk on my own!"

"No. Necesitas ayuda."

"Let me go!" She escaped my grip and began flying again, only to crash into me. "Hehe, sorry." I only glared back at her.

########

We soon reached the hut, losing Rainbow somewhere along the way. We looked in through a window and saw a cauldron and the same zebra from before, this time with no cloak to conceal her jewelry. I began to walk around to the front door and nearly avoided Twilight biting for my tail again.

"What are you doing?!" she whispered angrily. I waved my hooves and put on of them in front of my mouth as a sign to stay quiet. I gave her a look that said 'trust me.' She responded with a roll of her eyes and tip-hoofed back to the group. I calm myself and enter the front door of the hut.

"Hola!"

"Ah, one of you many common pony folk."

"Zecora, por favor socorro! Mis amigos ha estado plagado de broma veneno!"

"And you've brought the plague of poison joke! Please follow me, and I will fix you up quickly." As I walked by a window, I heard the group talking.

"See? She is really nice and going to help him speak normally," Twilight said.

"But what about the cauldron, the decor, and the chanting?"

"We'll get to that eventually."

Zecora brought me to the green liquid in the cauldron. She took a lick from it, making me hungry once more. "Ah, the perfect temperature for ponies I presume. Now, where is that young Apple Bloom?"

"Yo no se." A loud scream from outside the rang through the hut, followed by a colorful blur bursting through the door interrupted the peace. A small orange figure lassoed onto Zecora's ear and wrestled with it, being ineffective, while the colorful blur knocked over the cauldron. The rest of the group charged into the door, Twilight leading.

"No! You ponies know not what you do! You've knocked over my precious brew!"

"We're onto you, Zecora. I didn't want to believe in curses, but the evidence is overwhelming!"

"You made me look ridiculous!"

"You made me sound ridiculous!"

"Plfft lfft lfft lfft!"

"You ruined my horn!"

"... Meh."

"How dare you?! You destroy my home, destroy my work, and yet you accuse me of being a jerk?!"

"You put this curse on us, and now you're going to get this curse off of us!" Rainbow shouted.

"It is unwise to venture down this road. Your actions will make my anger explode!" Her fury made the ponies flinch in fear.

"Where is Apple Bloom?!" Twilight and the zebra butted heads together.

"Zecora! Ah've got the things you asked for!" Apple Bloom called out. She walked in an gaped at the mess that, for once, I hadn't made.

"Hola."

"What in Ponyville is going on here?"

"Apple Bloom! Yer alright!" Applejack called from Zecora's ear.

"Of course Ah'm alright. Why wouldn't Ah be?" Twilight jumped in front of h as if to protect her.

"Because Zecora's a nasty enchantress who put a curse on us and was going to cook you up in soup!" This statement caused Zecora, me, and Apple Bloom to erupt in laughter.

"Oh Twilight, did that silly filly get inside yer head? There's no such thing as curses."

"Apple Bloom, sweetie, you can't look at this and tell me this isnt a curse!" She gestured to the afflicted ponied in the room.

"This isn't a curse!"

"If you remember correct, the words I spoke were quite exact." We remembered the words she spoke when we were standing in the blue flowers.

"It was a warnin'. About that blue plant. It's called 'Poison Joke'."

"That plant is much like poison oak, but its results are like a joke."

"What in the hay does that mean?" Applejack asked from atop Zecora's head.

"It means this plant does not seek wrath. All it wants is just a laugh."

"... Will somepony please talk normal?"

"No," I say before heading outside. "No necesito estar aquí." I sit outside and lay down like a dog would, waiting for every pony to get out. Soon, my boredom takes over. Might as well have fun with my Spanish while I can.

La cucaracha, la cucaracha,

ya no puede caminar,

porque no tiene, porque le falta

marihuana que fumar. (x2)

Las muchachas son de oro;

Las casadas son de plata;

y las viudas son de cobre,

Y las viejas oja de lata. (x2)

Las muchachas son de oro;

Las casadas son de plata;

y las viudas son de cobre,

las viejas oja de lata. (x2)

La cucaracha, la cucaracha,

ya no puede caminar,

porque no tiene, porque le falta

marihuana que fumar. (x4)

As soon as I finish, every pony is walking out, Zecora with them this time. I trot up next to them, Applejack jumping back onto my head.

"Yer mane may still be smelly, but Ah can see better from up 'ere."

"Si, señorita."

Author's Note:

And I don't know how to end it there. Everything happens that goes on in the show, and it's back to normal.

I feel like this chapter somehow came out a bit quicker than it should have.

Now, the vote(PM this time):

Fluttershy

Rainbow Dash

Why this vote again? Because I don't think only one vote will suffice for the story

Comments ( 12 )

....spanish.... of COURSE it's spanish :flutterrage: :flutterrage:

3016053
Would you prefer Latin?

3016058 depends on what other people think, makes things more interesting :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

I choose Luna!

3016100
1.PM
2.He's not going to date a princess
3.There is no 3

another very good chapter. :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

I learned how to count to ten in Spanish when I was in pre-school. Man those were the days.

3238977
I just figured out what your avatar is. And I love it!

3266900

My avatar attracts attention for some reason :|

Please update:fluttercry:

3723289
Please read blog posts

3729547 we're starting to think you're dead....
yup.
YEAH!!
Indeed.

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