• Member Since 24th Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

Jack Lindqvist


I'm an art lover, through and through. I've only watched seasons 1-8, so any discrepancies from canon can be explained by that.

Comments ( 3 )

I'm confused on who is talking in this story, most of the time it says "I said" or "she said" although I don't know who is talking most of the time.

11769180
This is totally valid criticism. It's supposed to be aphoristic and simple to read, but I don't know about this one.

In scenes where it's only Twilight and Starlight, it should be obvious enough who's talking, and in the third to last sequence, only Fluttershy and Starlight interact, so there, it should be clear enough. The only scene where this might be an issue, by process of elimination, is the one with Fluttershy and Rarity and Starlight in the same scene. We get paragraphs like:

"Well," she said. "It means that you're willing to do things for that person, things you weren't willing to do for other ponies."

Well, in fact, Rarity has not been introduced yet, so the only one that could be talking is the third person, Fluttershy. This is how I write dialogue, using context cues, and apparently, sometimes it doesn't work.

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