Anecdotes of Heart

by Pegasus Rescue Brigade

I Can't Imagine

Author's Note:

If you haven't read "Shipping and Handling" in a while, this chapter takes a lot of context from Chapter 7 and the Watt and Glow bonus chapters in that story, though most of it will be briefly re-explained here.

Date: About three months after Dinky's graduation

---

The clock tower chimed eight times.

"Uh oh. Late for work."

Sunlight glinted off the icicles hanging from the eaves, and a healthy layer of snow seemed to muffle all sound. Until that moment, it had been a peaceful winter morning in Ponyville. Unfortunately, it didn't last.

A yellow blur hurtled through the streets of Ponyville. Bright paper Hearts and Hooves decorations were torn from doors.
Pink and red ribbons strung between the light posts flapped wildly in the wind created in its wake. Ponies held tightly to their winter hats and cloaks as they whipped about in the breeze, giving the streak of color plenty of space as it blasted by.

The door of Equestria Speedy Shipping Services was thrown wide, and just like that, the object's blistering speed stopped on a dime, and the yellow blur became a simple yellow earth pony. He raised a hoof in greeting to the four ponies gathered around the meeting table: three pegasi and a young unicorn mare.

"Mornin' ponies!" Watt called to the others. "Sorry I'm late! I know we've got a morning meeting today!"

Clarity looked away from the clipboard hanging in her aura to glance at the clock. "...Late?" she asked finally. "It's eight o'clock now. You're right on time."

"Eight o'clock and eighteen seconds," Watt corrected, gesturing to the clock's second hand.

Cloudcover chuckled. "You've got to understand, Clarity, our dear friend Watt seems to operate on a bit of a different time scale than the rest of us," he reminded her.

"You'd be surprised what you can get done in eighteen seconds!" Watt chirped, nodding sagely.

Clarity's bright blue curls swung slightly as she laughed. "Well, you didn't miss much," she assured him. "We were just about to get started."

Watt zipped to the one remaining chair and sat down next to his coworkers.

"So what kept you?" Ditzy asked, still grinning at the whole situation.

"I had to swing by Sugarcube Corner real quick," Watt explained. "It is Hearts and Hooves Day after all, and Pinkie's been super busy lately between the bakery and, uh, official Elements of Harmony business, I guess. She's got her hooves full again making heart-themed treats today, but we've hardly seen each other all month, so I had to make sure I gave her the where and when for our big Hearts and Hooves day date tonight!"

"I figured you two would be doing something tonight," Breeze commented, clapping Watt on the back with an outstretched wing. "Ditzy and I have plans after work too. Put your best hoof forward for Pinkie, alright?"

"I always do!" Watt affirmed, rapidly tapping his forehooves on the table as he nodded.

"On a related note, we should get started," Clarity chimed in. "I'm saving most of the day-to-day stuff for our next meeting, 'cause as Watt pointed out, it's Hearts and Hooves day, and though this is the first one since I started working here, I'm kinda assuming it's gonna be a really busy day for a matchmaking company."

"One of the busiest of the year," Ditzy confirmed. "But a lot of times, it tends to be one of the most fulfilling, too. Hearts and Hooves Day shipping assignments always end up so heartfelt and sweet."

"Aww," Clarity cooed. "I hope you four will tell me all about it tomorrow. But I don't want any of you to miss your dates tonight, so I think the game plan for today is to get out there bright and early and start doing what you four do best. I've got your first assignments right here, and more have already come in, so hurry back to pick up your next one once you're done."

With a flicker of magic, she distributed sticky notes with assignment details to each pony. Watt snatched his up as soon as it was in reach.

"Dr. Clarity's right, lot's to do, and we're on a tight schedule!" he declared. "See you all later!"

"Still not a doctor, Watt," Clarity called, but her words went unheard as the excitable earth pony, determined to make his reservation that evening, jetted out of the room.

---

The clock tower chimed six times.

This time though, no pony-generated windstorm whipped through town. This was because Watt had already parked himself in front of the busy eatery, clad in a bright red bowtie, as he waited for the mare of the hour to arrive. Glancing at his reflection in a nearby window, he took a moment to run a hoof over the wild brown spikes of his mane, which had a complete lack of any effect. He nodded, satisfied.

A minute or two later, Pinkie Pie trotted around the corner. The two ponies locked eyes, and Watt rapidly waved a foreleg in greeting as she approached.

"Hey Pinkie! Ready for dinner?" he asked as his date arrived. "This new place has been the talk of the town lately! Ol' Cloudcover told me you won't find a better carrot fritter outside of Canterlot!"

Rather than respond, Pinkie stared blankly at the restaurant's edifice, her vision slightly unfocused.

Watt tilted his head. "Uh, Pinkie?"

"What? Oh! Yeah! I'm sure it's gonna be super duper tastebud-tingling-tastic!" she piped up, with a pearly smile that looked more than a little forced. "Sorry about that, I'm just a little... distracted! Sooooo many Hearts and Hooves orders at Sugarcube Corner and all that. You know how it goes, right Watt?"

"Trust me, I know," Watt laughed. "Things were just as crazy at Equestria Speedy Shipping Services. But it's ok! Now we can just relax and enjoy a quality meal and an evening together, right?"

Pinkie was staring at the wall again. "...Uh, right! Yep!" she said, after several seconds pause.

The restaurant seemed to be going for the typical Hearts and Hooves ambience. The lights were low, and tables were lit by candlelight. A brown stallion softly played a piano in one corner, choosing only quiet, unobtrusive melodies that wouldn't affect the diners' conversation. A waiter provided the couple a basket of steaming bread almost immediately.

Watt peered over the top of his menu as discreetly as possible. Across from him, Pinkie stared at her own menu, but the stallion couldn't shake the feeling she wasn't actually reading it. The mare's ears twitched sporadically, occasionally flattening against her head, and she glanced around every few moments, before quickly returning her gaze to the menu.

Even fast-talking Watt often struggled to get a word in edgewise when around the mass of hyperactivity that was Pinkie Pie, so when almost a full minute passed without a single word leaving her lips, there was no denying it any longer; something was off.

"Alright Pinkie, what's wrong?"

Pinkie Pie jumped at the sound of his voice. "Oh, pssh, nothing's wrong!" she replied, dramatically waving a forehoof and producing a giggle that sounded so nervous it was bordering on deranged. "I'm just concentrating suuuuper hard on what to order, obviously. Haha. Heh."

Watt stared at the mare for a moment. Her pupils gradually grew smaller.

"Well—"

Pinkie suddenly grabbed both menus and propped them up on the table like a tent. Motioning conspiratorially for Watt to join her, she ducked her head into the makeshift space. Ignoring the stares of nearby diners, Watt carefully inserted his head into the other side of the tiny shelter.

"Ok, I admit it," Pinkie whispered. "I need your help, Watt. Something's really wrong in, you know..."

"In where?"

"In Inanima!" Pinkie hissed. "Something strange is happening to that world, and I don't think it can wait much longer!"

Watt frowned. "Well, you know I'm happy to help, but I'm sure they can hold out till after dinner, right?"

Pinkie's expression grew more frantic. "I mean... maybe... but... well, the high council wanted to convene right away, but they can't do much without us there, but I know how much you were looking forward to our date tonight, but I don't know if I can just sit here and eat when I don't know what's going on, but its Hearts and Hooves so I feel obligated to be here too so I feel like I should be in two places at once and—"

"Okay, okay!" Watt interjected, silencing Pinkie, whose voice had been growing higher and faster as her sentence went on until she almost sounded like a recording being played in fast-forward. "Let's go check in on Inanima. Maybe if we're quick, we can still come back and have our dinner date afterward."

"Woo! You're the best!" Pinkie cried, throwing her forehooves skyward, which catapulted her menu halfway across the restaurant and into some unsuspecting patron's soup. "C'mon, let's go!"

Pinkie pushed open the window of the restaurant and stuffed her hoof into the snow-covered bush on the other side of the glass, inexplicably retrieving Gummy, her pet alligator, from somewhere in its depths.

"In case of Gummy emergency," she explained, noticing Watt's raised eyebrows.

Stuffing the little reptile into her mane, she grabbed Watt by the hoof and hurried to the narrow hallway where the restrooms were located.

"Ready?" she asked quietly.

Knowing what was coming next, Watt nodded. Pinkie stared at the door of the fillies' restroom, concentrating hard, and then pushed it open. On the other side of the door, instead of tile and porcelain and artificially-scented air fresheners, was a sprawling field, and in the distance, a medieval style castle, with flags flying from the parapets.

Most ponies would have found that strange. Some might say impossible. Perhaps "an affront to every known law of space, and possibly indicative of a catastrophic tear in the very fabric of our dimension" if you were somepony like Twilight Sparkle. But Watt was not at all surprised to see the familiar scenery suddenly occupying the space that had presumably been a restroom the moment before. That was just how the realm of Inanima worked; any door could lead you there, as long as you truly believed it was waiting on the other side.

Pinkie bounded through the doorway and Watt wasted no time following her. In just a few steps, the music and ambience of the restaurant fell away, replaced with the sound of a gentle breeze and the feeling of sunlight on their coats.

Clearly, Inanima had no need to conform to the time of day, or even the season, that it was back in Equestria. But considering it was a realm of sentient inanimate objects somehow born from Pinkie Pie's imagination, and then evolved over the years to incorporate parts of Watt's fantasies after he became a regular visitor, the mismatched weather seemed insignificant by comparison. Even after five years of helping Pinkie deal with a never ending stream of strange goings-on here, Watt still hadn't determined if Inanima was some sort of pocket dimension Pinkie had stumbled into that was able to be bent to a pony's will, or if it didn't actually exist at all, and was merely some sort of shared hallucination. His coworkers, strangely, seemed very averse to theorizing about it over lunch. Especially Ditzy.

There was no time to worry about that though. Watt turned to his partner as she surveyed the landscape.

"So, what's the big emergency, Pinkie?"

"Sir Lintsalot said various places around the kingdom are dealing with earthquakes," Pinkie explained, as a wave of vibration ran down the length of her body from snout to tail to illustrate. "But that's actually not what I'm worried about. There's like a kajillion different things you and I have imagined up over the years, so I'm sure one of them could be causing earthquakes. The part that's really got my tummy all tied up in nervous knots is uh... well here, look."

She stamped a hoof down on the grass. When she lifted it again, what remained couldn't truthfully be called "grass" anymore; nothing but a dry, green powder coated the ground in the circular hoofprint she'd left.

"What?" Watt asked, putting a hoof down slightly less hard and still finding the grass beneath almost totally obliterated when he lifted it. "It's like it's so dry that it's crumbling to dust, but look at it! It's as green as the Canterlot Gardens in mid-Spring."

"Right!?" Pinkie agreed. "I don't think it's just grass either. Lots of things around Inanima seem to be getting brittle. And for some reason, it's making me feel... bad. Like something's really, really wrong. A lot more wrong than the latest interkingdom dispute, or spacepony invasion, or hypnosis-inducing game show, or nationwide plague of unstoppable wind-up toys, or—"

"Maybe we should get to the High Council meeting and ask what they've discovered," Watt suggested. "No reason to panic, Pinkie. We've saved Inanima many times before, and we'll do it again!"

Normally, Pinkie would've been emboldened by such words, and energetically lead the way to the castle to spearhead the latest effort to solve Inanima's problems. So it left an uncharacteristic pit in his stomach when Pinkie's only response was a nervous smile and a mumbled "I hope so..."

There was a short pause. "Let's get going," she suggested. "Gummy! We need you!"

The ground began to shake, but not from one of the quakes Pinkie mentioned. A shadow fell over the pair of ponies at the now dinosaur-sized alligator stepped up behind them.

"Why does Gummy get huge when he comes to Inanima, anyway?" Watt questioned. "I never thought to ask."

Pinkie shrugged. "He's here almost as often as you and me. Maybe being super Giganto-Gummy is part of his imagination!"

It was as good an explanation as any. Watt followed Pinkie onto the back of the massive reptile, and the three of them swiftly began to make their way to the castle.

---

A ball of lint, a bag of flour, and a small pile of rocks sat around a large table bearing the royal crest of Inanima's northern kingdom, engaged in hushed conversation. Their discussion was cut short by the sound of a trumpet.

"Hear ye, hear ye," the trumpet in the doorway declared, after it had finished its musical fanfare. "Announcing the arrival of Inanima's deities, Pinkie Pie and Watt!"

"Late as usual," said Rocky gruffly as the two ponies entered the room.

Sir Lintsalot sighed. "Captain Rocky, will you ever learn to show even a modicum of respect for the beings who created our realm?" he asked tiredly.

"Depends if they ever learn to be punctual," Rocky grumbled.

"Yeah, sorry," Watt chimed in. "It's hard to be on-time when the meeting you're supposed to be going to is in a dimension with a totally different cycle of time than the one you're from."

"Miss Pinkie, Master Watt, it is lovely to see you both," Madame LeFlour greeted in her thick accent. "I wish our visit was on happier terms, but I suppose ze High Council rarely meets at times of peace."

"Yeah, we really need to have a get-together when the country isn't in peril one of these days," Pinkie mused.

"Speaking of peril, we really need to address the matter at hand," Sir Lintsalot said urgently.

"Pinkie and I don't really have the full picture," Watt confessed. "Mind filling us in on anything you know about what's going on?"

"Junk's fallin' apart left and right," Rocky blurted, shifting angrily in his seat. "Earthquakes knockin' down towns. Trees snappin' like they were battered by a storm, on a perfectly still afternoon. Heck, we're meetin' at Lintsalot's castle today cause LeFlour's castle in the south kingdom is practically comin' apart at the seams! And that place is... or was... probably the sturdiest building in Inanima on account of it once being the late King Turnip's fortress."

"The damage is not consistent with earthquakes alone," Sir Lintsalot clarified. "There must be an additional force at play here."

"And I'm sure you noticed ze grass and small plants are simply deteriorating from even the slightest touch," Madame LeFlour added sadly. "My beautiful royal gardens are disintegrating! Soon there will be nothing but dust left!"

"Worryingly, that problem doesn't stop at just the plants," Lintsalot continued. "Anything tiny in the environment seems to be suffering the same effect. When our citizens tread on gravel pathways, the pebbles beneath them crush into dust from just a few pounds of weight. It's like everything's just becoming so..."

"...Brittle," Pinkie finished, shivering.

Watt's eyes widened as a thought struck him. "So, wait, is there any chance these two problems are actually one in the same?" he asked. "Tiny things are crumbling to dust. Big things are crumbling into smaller pieces. Maybe the ground is shaking because... the land beneath our hooves is starting to crumble too?"

"Are you suggesting there's some kind of... decay spreading through Inanima?" Sir Lintsalot gasped. "Some force that it physically undermining our land and everything in it?"

"Can't be right," Rocky argued. "Sure, all kinds of crazy threats have sprung out of lil Pinkie's, or even Watt's, imaginations, but I don't see how somethin' could be wrong with Inanima itself. This place is only even capable of being whatever the ponies who created it can imagine."

A nervous whimper escaped Pinkie as Rocky finished speaking. He swiveled in his chair, presumably to face the mare's direction, though without a face, it was hard to be sure.

"You ok there, little missy?" he asked. "It's not like you to be mopin', even at a time like this."

"Pff, me? I'm fine!" Pinkie replied, a little too loudly. "Just, y'know, worried about Inanima! Definitely nothing else!"

"Are you su—" Watt started.

"Quick, Watt!" Pinkie interrupted, jabbing a hoof at the pony beside her. "This problem must be coming from something one of us imagined! What could be responsible? Do the spaceponies have a disintegrato-ray or something?"

"N-no, this seems a little, uhh, darker than what we usually dream up," the stallion admitted.

"Well zen I am afraid we are rather lost," Madame LeFlour lamented. "Anything zat occurs here must be directly connected to one of you two, no? Zere are no other outside forces zat shape Inanima."

Pinkie's eyes went wide as saucers. "Actually, there is one that could be," she realized. "Watt, do you remember? One other pony lives in Inanima!"

The memory came rushing back to Watt. There was indeed another pony living here— well, more like sealed here— though "pony" needed some serious quotation marks in this case. He looked at Pinkie in shock.

"Could... could she really be responsible for this?" he asked. "She hasn't caused any trouble outside of her little corner of the land since we first locked her in here."

"Who else could it be?" Pinkie cried. "Rocky, gather a squad of your best soldiers and meet us at Gummy ASAP! We've gotta go confront Screwball!"

---

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The reverberating footsteps echoed in the still air as Gummy plodded along the plain, ferrying Pinkie, Watt, Rocky, and four elite soldiers that all appeared to be various forms of kitchenware, toward their destination. Pinkie peered off the side of her pet, sighing uncertainly as plants and rocks simply disintegrated under his feet with each step.

"So, I'm gonna need an explanation here," Rocky demanded. "There's been a third pony in Inanima this whole time?"

"Yes, but it's kind of a long story," Pinkie replied apologetically. "You could fill like, three whole chapters with context!"

"Summarize," Rocky grunted.

"Basically, there's this creature in our dimension who has chaos magic," Watt explained. "A long time ago, he made a false pony named Screwball to help him spread it around. Screwball started causing trouble for some ponies Pinkie and I know personally, and her weird magic was too strong for us to stop her or keep her away, so we sealed her in Inanima so she couldn't impact our friends back in Equestria anymore. She's twisted one corner of Inanima beyond recognition with her chaos magic, but she generally stays in that little enclave. If she's responsible for what's happening to Inanima, then this is the first time she's acted out like this."

"Maybe she's bored?" Pinkie suggested. "She has been here a while now. Maybe she's run out of ways to keep herself entertained inside her little chaos bubble, and decided to spread chaos to the rest of Inanima. She's not evil; she probably just doesn't realize the harm she's doing, and we just have to convince her to put everything back to normal!"

"If she ain't evil, why are we bringin' a squad of highly trained Inanimate troops with us?" Rocky asked skeptically.

Pinkie winced. "Screwball may have a teeny-tiny case of not knowing her own strength," she admitted, bringing her forehooves within an inch of each other to illustrate. "When you have as much magic as she does, something that's dangerous to us is just a game to her."

"Still, it seems weird," Watt chimed in, reclining against one of Gummy's scaly spines. "Like you said, Screwball's not evil; this seems way more sinister than something she'd do. Now, if the sky changed color every time somepony sneezed, and Sir Lintsalot's castle was suddenly made of chocolate-coated mashmallow fluff, that'd be more up her alley."

Pinkie huffed. "Well, it's not something I imagined, and it's not something you imagined, and it definitely can't be Inanima itself! So all signs point to Screwball!"

Gummy trod past a light-up signboard that was waddling along the path in the opposite direction. Its display was suddenly illuminated with a digital image of a screw and a baseball, as well as a bright neon arrow pointing in the direction the alligator was headed.

"See? See??" Pinkie squawked, gesticulating wildly at the visual gag.

"Kid, I'm not doubtin' ya," Rocky snapped back. "Just tryin' to get the facts straight is all."

Watt fidgeted nervously. Why is Pinkie being so defensive today? he wondered. She definitely knows more than she's letting on...

Gummy rounded the edge of a cliff, and his passengers were suddenly greeted with an abrupt change in scenery. Inanima's coast lay ahead, with sheer stone cliffs dropping hundreds of feet to choppy waters below. Miles in the distance, a number of islands could be seen dotting the shallow expanse of ocean. However, there were no islands interrupting the waves immediately in front of the ponies and their party; instead, what were formerly islands now floated upside-down in midair, with tropical trees growing downward as if unaware they were inverted.

On the largest of the floating landmasses was a castle, just as unbothered by gravity as everything else in its vicinity. It clung to the underside of the isle, and appeared to be built of balloons that, against all conventional physics, managed to maintain a rectangular shape while inflated, mimicking brickwork. Row after row of balloons were held together by a mortar of chocolate syrup. Flags flew from the castle's reversed turrets, defiantly flapping against the direction of the breeze rather than with it.

A long narrow path, patterned with white and purple checkers and composed of shiny, smooth material that was reminiscent of cheap plastic foals' toys, extended from the edge of the cliff all the way to the gate of the castle hanging in the air, despite a total lack of any supports keeping it there. It didn't seem particularly useful as a way to reach the inflatable fort, considering it turned several loop-de-loops and at least one corkscrew on its meandering route through the air.

"Well, blow my bugle and call me Tabitha!" Rocky exclaimed. "There's somethin' you don't see every day. Even in a land like this."

"I guess we found Screwball," Watt commented. "Gummy's gonna have to wait out here, though. The path's barely big enough for us, let alone a dinosaur-sized gator."

Pinkie guided Gummy between two conveniently-painted white lines on the dusty ground, hopped off, and slipped a bit into a parking meter jutting at a strange angle from the rock. "Good to go!" she announced with a smile.

"Now hold on, you two," Rocky ordered. "How exactly are we gonna negotiate that path up to the gate? One false move and its a two hundred foot plummet into the ocean. And last I checked, neither of you two are those winged-variety equines."

Watt placed a hoof on the brightly-colored causeway. Noticing no immediate motion, he stamped harder, but the walkway remained firm, somehow fixed in place despite the lack of anything keeping it stable. "Seems sturdy enough," he reported. "Let's go. Be careful, everypony."

Watt was used to moving from point A to point B at breakneck speed, but for once, taking it slow and steady seemed to be the better option. Placing each hoof with care, he led the group along the winding ramp toward Screwball's wacky castle. At least, until he arrived at the first loop-de-loop. While it looked possible to jump through the loop and land on the next flat bit of floating path once it had righted itself, he wasn't a particularly big fan of actually trying to do so; the path was barely wide enough to stand on, which meant even slightly overshooting his leap would most likely mean plunging into the sea far below.

Pinkie raised her forehooves like she was trying to frame the scene in front of her at a certain angle. She closed one eye and stuck out her tongue, focusing hard.

"I've got it!" she declared, stepping carefully around Watt. "When it comes to chaos magic, you just have to stop worrying so much about what would be logical everywhere else. If Screwball's the one making the rules here, all we have to do... is follow them!"

Pinkie trotted confidently forward, and proceeded to effortlessly stroll up the path as it curved upward, until she was standing completely upside-down at the top of the loop, as much in defiance of gravity as Screwball's creations.

"Don't see that every day either," Rocky muttered.

"Nice one, Pinkie!" Watt congratulated, trotting forward himself and watching the orientation of his surroundings change completely so that the path always seemed to be below him. "Just another reason you're my favorite pony. Nopony thinks outside the box like you do!"

Strangely, Pinkie's triumphant demeanor seemed to deflate at the compliment, rather than increase. "Heh. Um, thanks Watt," she replied more softly, failing to make direct eye contact.

Watt knitted his brow. "What's wrong? Something I said?"

"No!" Pinkie squealed, before catching herself. "I mean, it's just um... you don't need to give me all the credit. We're all gonna have to do some thinking outside the box if we're gonna roll with the punches long enough to get Screwball under control."

"I'm sure we can manage. This isn't the first time either of us have dealt with chaos magic," Watt reassured her. "Rocky, you and your soldiers just follow our lead. If we can just manage to go with the flow of the chaos, we should reach Screwball in no time."

Rocky growled. "This is already givin' me a headache."

"You don't have a head," Pinkie pointed out.

"Just get a move on, Pink!" the pile of rocks snapped back. "Let's get this over with."

Traversing the loops and twists with care, the pair of ponies led the way into the colorful fortress ahead of them.

---

Bang!

Watt bucked open the doors to a room in one of the inverted castle's highest— or maybe lowest was more accurate— tower, and watched both doors burst into a cloud of ladybugs and butterflies when they impacted the wall. He and Pinkie leapt into the room, hooves squeaking on the colorful rubber surface below them. Rocky followed, dual-short swords as he hopped forward, with his troops holding spears at the ready behind him.

At the other end of the room, a wide window overlooked the other levitating islands drifting through the sky. In front of it was a lone chair, which looked quite out of place in its normalcy compared to the rest of the castle. A relatively small mare sat facing away from the party, mostly obscured by the back of the chair, save for the tiny yellow and green beanie spinning slowly atop her head.

"Alright, Screwball, the jig is up," Pinkie accused. "What are you doing to Inanima?"

Watt braced himself for whatever was about to happen. Screwball's powers of chaos were second only to Discord's own, and her low capacity for normal communication made her even harder to reason with than the draconequus was. He expected nothing less than for the zany mare to float into the air, grinning wildly, and promptly begin breaking the laws of physics even further, or begin bringing objects into existence from nothing.

Instead, the mare slowly rose to her hooves, and turned around. Pinkie and Watt both gasped.

"What? What is it?" Rocky demanded.

The pony before them was certainly Screwball. Watt recognized the pale purple coat, and the vibrant darker purple curls of her mane, highlighted with brilliant white accents. The cutie mark on her flank was unmistakable as well.

But instead of wild purple swirls for eyes and a zany grin of childish delight, Screwball stared back at them with beautiful, yet somehow sorrowful purple irises, and just a hint of a longing smile playing across her muzzle.

"Hello, Pinkie Pie. Hello, Watt. It's been such a long time," she greeted, her voice unchanged but her inflection worlds apart from what Watt remembered from years before. "I was beginning to wonder if I'd ever get to see the two of you again."

Screwball's use of complete sentences surprised Watt almost as much as her tone. She spoke with purpose, a far cry from the disjointed babble she'd used at their last encounter.

"...Screwball?" he finally managed. "But... you..."

"Aren't quite how you remember?" Screwball asked with a hint of a chuckle. "Well, of course not. Neither is anything else in this land right now. I figured that's why you're here."

"You're dang right that's why we're here," Rocky snapped, waving his swords threateningly. "Now are you gonna cut it out with whatever magic you're using to slowly crumble Inanima, or am I gonna have to open a whole can of hurt on you?"

Screwball frowned. "Oh. I'm sorry, sir, but I think you misunderstand," she admitted, stepping softly across the inflatable floor rather than floating weightlessly through the air as she had in the past. "I've got nothing to do with what's happening to Inanima. I assumed you knew that, and Pinkie and Watt were just coming to say farewell."

"So you've not causing the quakes? The disintegrating land? Any of that?" Watt asked.

Pinkie swallowed hard. "Um... and what do you mean 'say farewell'?" she asked in a tiny voice.

Screwball's sad smile returned. "Isn't in obvious?" she asked. "Whatever sort of magic makes this place exist at all is fading. Fading fast, really."

"What!?" Pinkie, Watt, and Rocky all cried in unison.

"I really thought you'd be able to tell," Screwball continued, with a shrug. "You're the ones who made this place after all. It's also why I'm not quite the pony I was last time we met, of course."

"Wait, even assuming you're right, why does the state of Inanima affect you?" Watt asked skeptically. "You're from Equestria, not one of the things created by the minds of Pinkie or me."

Screwball sighed. "Well, when you first sent me to Inanima years ago, I was cut off from Discord's magic, naturally," she explained. "I'm not a source of chaos magic; I'm only a conduit. I can't produce more magic without a source. Fortunately, it didn't matter, because a realm made entirely of the imaginations of creative, free-spirited ponies like you, is a place where almost anything can happen! I mean, a land where inanimate objects can talk and move on their own, and entire places and entities come and go as a result of thoughts and dreams? The inherent magic here is a perfect match for mine."

"I figured you'd like it here!" Pinkie chirped. "Some of Equestria's ponies don't appreciate your brand of magic, but I still wouldn't have agreed to send you here if I didn't think it was the perfect place for you."

"I appreciate that you were thinking of me," Screwball said with a nod. "And I've enjoyed my time here, but... now that magic that keeps my powers flowing is disappearing. I still have some magic; enough to keep my domain afloat, for now, but soon, that will disappear too."

"Well, once you run out of magic, won't you just become an average earth pony like me and Pinkie?" Watt asked. "I know you probably don't want to lose your powers, but why's that mean you have to say farewell?"

Screwball turned, staring out the window at the sea once again. "I'm not an earth pony, Watt. I never was," she said wistfully. "I'm a creation of Discord: a being of pure chaos magic that resembles a pony. But now that I'm cut off from both Discord and the chaotic magic of this realm, the magic sustaining me is running low. When there's no more chaos magic for me to channel, I'll just... fade away, like any other bit of magic would. Like Inanima is doing right now."

Watt could see the pain in the pony's eyes, but she continued to wear that same sorrowful smile. His heart ached for her as he realized she had simply been here awaiting what she saw as the inevitable end.

"Ok, hold the phone," Rocky piped up, finally lowering his weapons. "Let's say, for the sake of argument, you're right about all this. There's gotta be somethin' causing Inanima to decay, right? We just gotta figure out what it is and fix it, and everything'll be hunky-dory."

"I've got no way to fix it myself," Screwball said. "While I've been able to thrive off the magic of this realm, I didn't have any part in creating it. The only one who stands a chance of halting Inanima's decline is the pony who created it."

Watt turned desperately to his partner. "Think, Pinkie," he urged. "Sure, I've brought things into Inanima over the years with my imagination, but this is still your world! If Inanima itself is losing whatever sort of magic allowed it to come into existence in the first place, you're the only one who could possibly know how to stop it!"

"I'm trying!" Pinkie wailed. "But it's not like I want Inanima to disappear! I didn't imagine the world crumbling away, but trying to imagine it back to normal isn't working either."

Rocky did the best approximation to a scowl that something without a face could achieve. "So, what's the plan?" he asked bitterly. "We gonna go tell Lintsalot and Le'Flour to get their affairs in order 'cause the world's ending? Or does one of you ponies have a contingency plan?"

Pinkie gasped and clonked a hoof to her forehead. "Duh! Why didn't I think of it before!" she shrieked. "We just have to visit the Ancient Sage!"

"Ancient Sage?" Watt asked. "We've been here a lot of times, and this is the first I'm hearing of him."

"I dreamed him up a long looooong time ago, when I first imagined this place!" Pinkie said excitedly. "He knows everything about Inanima; that's literally his whole purpose. We can't save Inanima till we figure out why it's broken, and he can tell us!"

"What're we waitin' for, then?" Rocky asked, hopping in place impatiently. "If Screwball's already lost so much of her power she almost seems like a normal pony, I'm guessin' we're runnin' out of time. We need to get a move on."

Watt turned to Screwball. "Would you like to come too?" he asked. "You've got just as much riding on this as the rest of Inanima's residents."

"I don't know if I'd be any help," Screwball admitted. "Even I don't know how much power I have left. But if the invitation's open... I'd love to have one more adventure, even if it turns out to be the last one."

"Speaking of your powers, do you happen to have a quick way to get us back down to Gummy?" Pinkie asked. "It took a little longer to get through all the crazy rooms in your castle than I expected, and the parking meter's about to expire."

Screwball giggled softly. "Don't worry, Pinkie. That much I can still do."

The mare gave a casual wave of a hoof, and one entire balloon-wall suddenly burst, and the scraps of colorful rubber that began to spiral through the air quickly turned into a swarm of dragonflies that flitted away into the sky. With another wave of Screwball's hoof, the long, checkered pathway leading to the castle's main gate, which had been fully rigid a moment before, suddenly turned to elastic, bending and stretching into new loops and curves as it snaked its way to meet the edge of the room where the ponies were standing before suddenly freezing again. Watching her magic at work, a grin spread across her face, reminiscent for the first time all day of the zany creature Watt remembered, if only for a brief moment. She gestured to the newly rearranged walkway.

"After you."

"Don't mind if I do," Rocky said, leading his troops back toward the ground. "Let's move. We got a lot of ground to cover and not much time."

As quickly as they dared, the ponies negotiated the narrow path and returned to their waiting ride. Screwball looked back at her castle as the group clambered onto Gummy.

"One last thing," she said. "I guess if there's even a chance you can save Inanima, I should probably try to conserve what's left of my power to buy us a little more time, so uh..."

She sat back and clapped her forehooves together once.

Out beyond the cliff's edge, gravity suddenly existed again.

Watt and Pinkie watched in shock as the floating isles, the inflatable castle, and everything else in Screwball's little domain suddenly fell out of position, plummeting into the sea with such an enormous splash that ocean spray made it all the way to the edge of the cliff hundreds of feet above.

"Wha... you didn't have to do that!" Pinkie whined, looking at Screwball empathetically. "Now even if we can save you, you have nowhere to go back to!"

"If you can bring my powers back in full, I can recreate that place in less than a minute," Screwball assured her. "Or come up with something totally new."

She smiled sheepishly. "Actually, before my magic started fading, I was completely remaking my surroundings every few days anyway. Chaos kind of goes hoof-in-hoof with a short attention span."

"Don't worry, we'll get your powers back," Watt reassured her. Over her shoulder, he noticed Pinkie again cringe and look away as he said it, but it was beginning to feel fruitless to try to pry the reason for her suspiciously pessimistic behavior from her, so he kept his mouth shut.

I just hope whatever Pinkie knows is something we can overcome... he thought as Gummy started to cross the plains again. If not... maybe the future of Inanima's in real trouble...

---

The wind whipped wildly as Gummy arrived on the high mountain ledge, oblivious as always to the small stones being wrenched from the ground by the gale dissolving into dust within seconds after being pulled free.

A rough-hewn cave was cut into the side of the summit. The team of ponies and inanimate objects stepped down from their ride, using his bulk to shield themselves from the wind.

"This is the place," Pinkie said.

"I should hope so," Rocky quipped. "I woulda been kinda ticked off if we came all the way up here and this wasn't the place."

Wearing an uncharacteristically serious expression, Pinkie stepped cautiously into the darkness, motioning for the others to follow her inside.

Watt looked around uncertainly as the sound of the weather outside faded away, replaced by silent, still underground air. His ears stood on end, listening for the dripping of water or perhaps the clattering of rocks, but instead, only one faint sound echoed through the dim halls of the cavern.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

"Pinkie, what's that noise?" Screwball whispered, straining to see in the darkness.

"That, my dear Screwball, is the Ancient Sage," Pinkie declared. "A little light, if you please."

The ticking grew louder as Screwball waved a hoof and brought a tiny swarm of bioluminescent sea monkeys into existence. The little glowing shrimp floated through the air just as they would in the water, growing brighter as they rose toward the ceiling and throwing eerie light across the chamber.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

The largest and most ornate grandfather clock Watt had ever seen came into view, standing alone at the very center of the room. A gold pendulum swung slowly inside its enclosed glass interior, and a polished metal clock face displayed a time Watt couldn't read, mainly because there were five different hands instead of the usual two.

"Ancient Sage!" Pinkie called. "We're in the super-duper most pickled of pickles we've ever been in, and we really need your help."

Almost imperceptibly slowly, the grandfather clock leaned forward, its polished mahogany sides creaking as it loomed over the ponies. Like most residents of Inanima, it lacked a face, yet Watt could almost feel it staring right into the depths of his being.

"Those who shape this realm," the grandfather clock said, in a voice so low Watt seemed to feel it more than hear it. "What knowledge do you seek?"

"Ancient Sage, I'm sure you probably already know this, but Inanima is falling apart," Watt hurriedly explained. "Screwball told us the magic that holds the world together is fading away?"

"It is as you say," the sage confirmed. "I feel it in the ground, and in the air. The threads of wonder, of creativity, of imagination that knit this daydreamed land together are breaking. Inanima is coming apart at the seams."

"But why?" Pinkie cried. "I created Inanima. By accident I guess, but still! I love this place, even if it is just make-believe! If I don't want it to disappear, why haven't I been able to stop it?"

The old grandfather clock did not immediately speak. Seemingly taking time to choose its words, it shifted its weight ever so slightly, casting changing shadows by the light of Screwball's glowing sea monkeys. Watt waited for the answer to Pinkie's question, the silence punctuated only by the relentless Tick. Tick. Tick.

"You did not merely create Inanima," the sage eventually continued. "Inanima is a part of you. These hills and valleys, mountains and grand castles, exist in your mind. Through your precious gift of purest imagination, the lines between fantasy and reality became blurry, indistinct. This land came into being, not quite real, but not quite just a dream, either, as evidenced by the presence of your friends here. It became a fantasy so vivid that it can continue to thrive in minds outside yours, growing and changing even without your constant attention."

Watt twitched impatiently, flicking his spiky tail. "While that's fascinating, what does it have to do with the reason the land is crumbling now?" he asked.

"Everything," the sage said bluntly. "For Inanima is a part of Pinkie Pie. A land that needs her brilliant imagination to continue to exist. The fabric of this world failing represents a failure in Pinkie Pie's power to imagine it."

Watt and Pinkie exchanged a shocked glance. Neither pony knew what to say.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Finally, Rocky cleared his throat and spoke up.

"So, you're sayin' something's wrong with Inanima 'cause something's wrong with Pinkie Pie?"

Even in the dim light, Watt saw a guilty sort of panic spread across Pinkie's face, like a foal being caught with their hoof in the cookie jar just before dinner. "Hahaha, Ancient Sage, you kidder," she retorted with a thoroughly unconvincing laugh. "I don't remember imagining you to be a prankster. But obviously my imaginator is working as okey-dokey-lokey as ever, so that's definitely not the problem. Now can you tell us what's really going on?"

"Alas, it is no joke," the old sage confirmed. "Unless you face that which troubles you so, Pinkie Pie, your worry and sadness will eat away at you, replacing your natural innocent wonder with despair. And..."

He paused again. Slowly, he straightened up, as if taking a deep breath even without lungs.

"And?" Pinkie's voice cracked.

"And Inanima will die. We will die. We are already dying."

Screwball hung her head. "Not just me then, I guess," she mumbled.

Rocky coughed awkwardly. "Y'know, I didn't wanna say anything on the way over, but I haven't been feelin' myself since around the time we were leavin' Screwball's castle," he confessed. "Not a very good look for a royal guard captain to complain about bein' a little under the weather, though. Can't really say I feel like I'm about to kick over, but the way things are goin'..."

"Nopony has to die," Watt insisted, stamping a forehoof. "We just need to figure out what's wrong with Pinkie. If we can help her, we can help Inanima!"

"But Watt, I told you, I'm just fine!" Pinkie persisted.

Watt sighed. "Pinkie, we need to address the elephant in the room here," he said levelly.

"What's Pinkie got to do with pachyderms?" Rocky quietly questioned.

"I don't think he means literal elephants," Screwball whispered back.

Pinkie looked around shiftily. "W-what do you mean?" she stammered.

"Pinkie Pie, I need you to be honest with me," Watt begged. "All day long, you've been distracted. Evasive. Unusually serious. And all day long, I gave you the benefit of the doubt, because I thought it was all because of what was happening to Inanima. But what's happening here isn't the cause; it's the symptom. Something's eating at you. I need you to tell me, so we can fix it before it's too late."

"Pff, That's a little dramatic," Pinkie said, once again obviously faking a more hopeful mood. "I'm sure we've got loads of time."

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Tick. Tick.

Tick.

...

The cave fell silent.

"...Ancient Sage?" Pinkie asked nervously.

"Who?" Rocky grunted.

Pinkie blinked. "The sage. You know, that we were just talking to? Right there?"

She gestured to the grandfather clock. Rocky turned.

"That's just a dusty old clock, Pink. Hate to say it, but some antique probably isn't gonna help our situation much."

"Pinkie, don't you see?" Watt asked desperately. "Your imagination's failing, just like the sage said. We can remember the sage, but Rocky can't remember him because he's not part of Inanima anymore. He's just the old grandfather clock in the lobby at Ponyville town hall. And the rest of your friends will be next if we don't do something!"

Tears formed in the corners of Pinkie's eyes as she looked at the grandfather clock, that was now very decidedly just a clock. She looked at Rocky, who hopped in place in agitation, and then at Screwball, who could only shrug helplessly.

"Pinkie," Watt said gently, trotting up next to her. "If you're hurting, we can help. We all want to save Inanima, and we all want to help you, too. I don't know what's happening in your life that's upset you, but you should never feel like you have to hide it. I'm your coltfriend, you know you can tell me anyth—"

Pinkie whipped around, snarling at Watt. "I. AM. FINE," she growled through clenched teeth.

Watt recoiled. Pinkie quickly realized what she'd done and backed off, heaving a shuddering sigh.

"The... the sage was no help," she muttered. "You know what they say: even a broken clock is right twice a day, so it stands to reason that a living clock can be wrong sometimes too. Me and Screwball are gonna take Gummy and go get Sir Lintsalot, and you need to carry Rocky and run as fast as you can to get Madame Le'Flour. Meet me right at the center of the great plain of Inanima. It's the heart of the land; the escaping magic has to be flowing through there. We can still find a way to stop it from disappearing if we all put our heads together!"

"But Pinkie—"

Pinkie was already racing out of the cave, dragging Screwball along with her. Watt followed them outside, only to discover Gummy, who had been a colossal beast a few minutes earlier, was now the size of a large dog.

"We need our transportation!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Screwball, can you help me out here?"

Screwball waved a hoof, but Gummy only grew a few inches bigger. Frowning, the chaos mare closed her eyes, and her propeller beanie began to spin as she strained to produce the magic she needed. After a few tense seconds, Gummy ballooned back to his titanic size. Panting, she looked at Pinkie for approval.

"Perfect!" Pinkie chirped, hopping onto her pet and pulling the winded mare up with her. "Let's go, Gummy!"

"But Pinkie!" Watt insisted. "This isn't gonna help! We need to—"

"Madame Le'Flour's castle, Watt!" Pinkie shrieked as Gummy began to clamber down the steep slope. "Now! Hurry!"

"Pinkie!"

It was no use. Within seconds, Gummy's powerful strides carried the two mares out of earshot. Rocky hopped onto Watt's back, causing the stallion to stagger as the stones landed on his spine.

"Not much to do but humor her, I guess," he grumbled. "Get a move on, yella' boy. I'm not much feelin' up to walkin' myself, anyway."

With a frustrated sigh, Watt watched Gummy disappear out of sight, before turning in the opposite direction and heading for Madame Le'Flour's kingdom.

---

Things went from bad to worse faster than anypony could've predicted.

Watt gasped for breath as he sprinted toward the center of Inanima's great plain. Moving at high speed was usually his forte, but with both a stack of rocks and a full sack of flour on his back, it was considerably harder to do so. Never mind the fact that the ground was now shaking almost constantly, and crevices were opening up in the earth, forcing him to take a roundabout route to his destination.

Wheezing, the earth pony arrived at the top of a grassy knoll and collapsed, panting. Soon, he spotted Gummy approaching in the distance. The gator had clearly shrunken somewhat again, though was still just big enough that all his passengers were able to cram onto his back.

Pinkie hopped off Gummy and hurried over. Her mane was frazzled, with loose, curly hairs sticking off in random directions, and her expression positively haggard. Sir Lintsalot rode on her back; he looked terribly worn as well, which was quite an accomplishment for a ball of lint.

"Watt! Rocky! Madame Le'Flour!" she shrieked. "We have to fix this right here, right now! I don't think we have time to think of another plan!"

"Surely there is still hope!" Madame Le'Flour retorted, hopping off Watt's back and sending a series of thin cracks through the dry, crumbling earth as she landed in the dirt. "What about ze chaos pony you mentioned. Can her magic not buy us more time?"

Pinkie looked supremely guilty. "Um..."

Watt turned his attention back to Gummy, and realized he had completely missed Screwball's presence at first. The purple mare's once vibrant colors had become washed-out and dull, and upon closer inspection, Watt realized he could actually see through her, if only barely. Screwball was becoming translucent, literally fading before his eyes. She delicately stepped down from Gummy, her hooves failing to kick up any dust, as if she weighed nothing at all.

"Sorry," she mumbled, shaking her head and smiling sadly. "I did what I could, but... there's nothing left I can do anymore."

"But isn't Inanima's magic spreading from somewhere right around here?" Pinkie asked. "This is the middle of the kingdom, and magic spreads outward evenly from here. Can't you feel any?"

"Oh, I can feel it," Screwball sighed, attempting to scrap a semi-transparent hoof along the ground, which barely even rustled the dry, dying grass. "I can feel it floating away. Dissipating."

"How long do we have?" Rocky asked. "Couple of hours?"

"Even here, at the heart of the land, there's only faint wisps of energy left," Screwball reported, sinking to her haunches. "Not hours. Minutes."

"Then... this is it?" Sir Lintsalot asked. "The final day of our fair land is upon us?"

"We can still find a way to fix it!" Pinkie squealed, rapidly trotting in place in an increasing panic.

"Pinkie, we know how to fix it!" Watt insisted, marching up to her. "You heard what the sage said; Inanima can't coexist with whatever turmoil is in your mind! Now please, we're begging you, tell us what's wrong so we can help!"

The bubbly mare began to hyperventilate. "I can't— I mean, there's not— I mean... c-c'mon, I'm Pinkie Pie!" she babbled. "I'm the perkiest, most happy-go-lucky party pony in Ponyville! Nothing's wrong in my life! There's still pep in my step and a pearly smile on my face!"

Pinkie produced a grin. Sweat trickled down her face, and her nervous eyes darted about.

"Girl, I could produce a more convincin' smile than that one, and I don't even have a mouth," Rocky quipped. Despite his usual snark, his voice sounded winded and weak.

"Well you don't have a whole musical number about smiling like I do, so I think my experience on the subject outweighs yours!" Pinkie snapped back. "Now let's stop focusing on me and think of a real solution before it's too late!"

The rumbling of the land suddenly grew into a deafening roar. Watt watched in horror as mountains on the horizon quivered, and then fell like a tower of wooden blocks stacked by a careless foal. The countryside broke into pieces, the unbroken plain suddenly turned into irregular islands floating in a faintly swirling, colorless abyss. One by one, chunks of land failed to stay aloft at what had been considered ground-level a few moments before, falling into nothingness as they turned to dust.

"...Lady Pinkie, I think it's too late," Sir Lintsalot murmured.

Madame Le'Flour hopped forward. "If zis is how it ends, Lintsalot my love, I wish to live my final moments in your embrace!"

Sir Lintsalot leapt from Pinkie Pie's back, landing beside Madame Le'Flour. The two huddled together, whimpering, as the world continued to implode.

"No, stop! Don't give up!" Pinkie pleaded. "There must be some way to reverse this! Something we can try! Anything!"

"Kid," Rocky wheezed, his stacked rocks wobbling dangerously. "I get you're not thinkin' clearly, with it being the end of the world and all, but ya need to get a hold of yourself. You're goin' crazy, talkin' to an old sack and some bit of fluff."

Pinkie's eyes widened, and she looked back to the two lovers at her hooves. The sack of flour sagged, flopping to the shaking ground with a thump, while the ball of lint floated a pony length or so away on the wind."

"S-Sir Lintsalot..." Pinkie whimpered. "Madame Le'Flour..."

"They're gone," Screwball said gently, her voice distant and echoing, like she was speaking from the other end of a tunnel. Both ponies glanced her way and realized in shock that she was now almost completely transparent, a few bare wisps of faded purple struggling to give some substance to her outline. "I appreciate that you tried but... without the magic your imagination provided, this was always going to be the outcome."

Watt looked at his partner desperately. "Pinkie! Confess! Please!"

Pinkie reared up and threw her forehooves skyward. "NEVER!" she screamed defiantly at the sky.

In response, the sky itself cracked. A jagged, shimmering piece of sky fell to the earth and shattered like glass, revealing more colorless, empty space in the gap in the heavens it had left behind. The cracks spread like a spiderweb, causing more and more pieces to rain down.

"Well b-bite my... bacon and c-call me... s-something or other..." Rocky slurred. "Y'don't see that... every day..."

He swayed for a moment, and then toppled. His constituent rocks rolled aimlessly across the desolated landscape.

"Rocky..." Pinkie mumbled, sniffling loudly.

In all directions, the rest of Inanima collapsed from the outer edges inward. Soon, there was only a circle of land about ten pony lengths in diameter, with the ponies standing in the center.

"So, hey," Screwball piped up, her voice so distant and distorted it was hard to make it out. "Pinkie, Watt, I just wanted to... thank you both..."

The ground split again, and the little bit of rock where Screwball sat separated from the rest of the remaining ground, beginning to float out into the abyss.

"Thank us for what!?" Pinkie demanded, her voice wavering between frustration and despair.

Screwball was barely visible now. Tears trailed down her cheeks, but once they fell free, vanished from existence before they could even reach the ground. Nevertheless, she smiled that same longing smile.

"For caring about me enough to bring me here, rather than try to trap or destroy me like other ponies did," she answered. "I know that Discord made me in such a way that it was... difficult... for ponies to deal with having me around. But you two found a place where I fit in, where it was ok for me to be me. And even when I was still full of chaos magic, and couldn't communicate it in quite the same way as I can now, I always appreciated your kindness. It didn't last forever, but I cherished every moment."

The remnant of Screwball lifted a hoof in a gentle wave goodbye, and then hung her head as her little platform drifted further from the two earth ponies. The edges of the main circle of remaining land began to crumble giving Watt, Pinkie, and the objects that were once her inanimate friends even less space.

"Pinkie, listen," Watt said urgently, causing Pinkie's tear-filled eyes to face him. "This is the last shred of Inanima. I don't know if we can undo this. I don't know if we can save your friends, or Screwball. I'm not pretending I know how a land made of imagination works. But one thing is pretty clear; if we're gonna try, we either do it now, or Inanima is gone forever!"

Pinkie whimpered. "But I can't! You... you don't understand!" she argued. "The truth hurts! It hurts me! It'll hurt you too!"

A crack ran through the ground between the hooves of the two ponies. "That's ok! Sometimes the truth does hurt, but we still have to face it. Running from it just makes things worse and worse until you wind up in a situation like this one! We need to face the truth, Pinkie!"

Pinkie bit her lip, clearly mentally fighting herself. The ground creaked and groaned, as the crack widened, threatening to split apart the last shred of her imagined world.

"Pinkie! Now!!"

Pinkie sucked in her breath, threw back her head, and screamed out the truth with all of her might.

I don't think I love you anymore!

The rumbling stopped. The razor sharp shards of sky paused mid-plummet. The swirling, colorless void stilled. Screwball, just an outline that was threatening to simply melt into the background at any moment, slowly raised her spectral head.

"W... what?"

Pinkie stared firmly at the dirt below her hooves. "I... uhm... s-so, listen..." she managed, barely above a whisper. "You've, uhh, heard the rumors, right? About Twilight? Princess Celestia asked her to take over as ruler of Equestria sometime in the not-super-duper-distant future."

"Y... yeah," Watt replied, unsure how this pertained to the topic at hoof.

"Finding out that Twilight's gonna have such a big responsibility soon really got me thinking," Pinkie admitted. "The past five years or so since we all became the Elements of Harmony, all my friends lives have really changed. Everypony is achieving their dreams, and discovering what they can do for Equestria, and for themselves, when they aren't, y'know, saving the world with the magic of friendship. And don't get me wrong, I love throwing parties and baking at Sugarcube Corner, but sometimes it feels like I'm... um... stuck in a rut while my friends do bigger and better things with their lives. I haven't... found a good moment to talk to them about it yet."

Watt nodded slowly. "Ok..." was all he could think to say without more information.

Pinkie heaved a sigh. "Watt, you're one of my bestest friends in Equestria," she continued, "but... well, I started to notice that every time I hang out with you, its to do zany fun stuff like throw parties or go on adventures or save Inanima. And I adore doing those things with you! I really do! But even for silly ponies like us, there's more to life than that. You've got your electrician job and your shipping job, of course, but those things aren't really something I can, or want to, be involved with. And I need to start exploring what I want to do, to find my life's purpose like the rest of the girls. When I think about you, I think about fun times. Fun times are great! But when I think about the future, about doing something more than just wacky adventures, I just... I guess I started pretending I didn't have time to hang out so I didn't have to face the fact that I can't imagine any path through life where it feels like you're the right pony to travel it with me."

I can't imagine...

Watt carefully drew a breath. Despite the pit in his stomach, he knew what he had to do. He stepped over the now-silent crevice in the ground, and placed a hoof on the shoulder of the miserable-looking mare beside him.

"Pinkie, at Equestria Speedy Shipping Services, one of the hardest things we run into is shipping requests that just won't work," he told her. "Sometimes, ponies that think they're right for each other just aren't, once they get to know each other a little. It's even harder when one pony still feels compatible and the other doesn't. But I've done enough shipping to know that the most catastrophic thing you can do is not to listen to the heart. Even if that means pain in the short term, ignoring it will lead to misery that can last much, much longer."

Pinkie dared to make eye contact with Watt for a moment. He gently wiped some of the tears from her face.

"You remember Cosmic Glow, right?" he continued. "You met her when we were first dealing with Screwball a couple years back. Ol' Cosmo tried to talk her daughter, Sparkler, into going against her heart's wishes for years and years, and it nearly ruined that poor filly. I've never seen misery like that before, and I don't want that to happen to you, or to me for that matter."

"So... what are you saying?" Pinkie mumbled.

Watt smiled, just a little. "I'm saying, if you think we're not meant for each other in the long run, then... I think the healthiest thing for either of us to do is break it off on good terms. That way, you can figure out a future that's right for you. Maybe with another pony, and maybe not. But it'll be the future your heart needs, and your friend Watt will be there to support your search for it. Can you picture that?"

Pinkie sniffled, but she returned Watt's gentle smile with one of her own. "Y-yeah," she whispered, pulling Watt softly into a hug and closing her eyes. "I think I can imagine that."

As the ponies embraced, light radiated from their bodies. As it swept across their little floating platform, verdant grass sprung from the dead earth instantly, and once it spread out further, the platform grew with it. It took only moments for land to spread from horizon to horizon. The sky, whole again and baby blue as the most beautiful summer day, spread out over fields and forests and mountains and the kingdoms of the land's residents, grand medieval castles and all.

"Well barricade my barracks and call me Eloise! You went and fixed it all somehow after all!"

Pinkie's eyes flew open. "Rocky?"

"In the flesh!" Rocky replied, hopping in place triumphantly. "Or, well, in the... granite or somethin'. Whatever."

"Lady Pinkie, Master Watt, there truly aren't enough thanks in the world for saving our land," Sir Lintsalot remarked as the two earth ponies separated. "Even when all seemed lost, it seems your powers of imagination were able to restore everything in the end."

There was a cartoonish "bwomp", as Gummy expanded outwards and upwards, returning to gargantuan size all at once. "Look at zat!" Madame Le Flour commented. "Not only is ze land returning, ze magic is returning too!"

"It sure is!" came an elated female voice.

Watt spun around to see Screwball absolutely grinning ear to ear, her body fully restored to its vibrant hues, and her propeller beanie spinning wildly. "You did it! You did it!" she cheered. "All the chaos of a world where the only rules are the ones dreamed up by the imagination. I can feel it everywhere!"

Screwball leapt into the air, and did not return to the earth. Her legs dangled beneath her as her beanie defied all conventional logic and kept her aloft. A frantic giggle formed in her throat, and grew and grew until she was giggling uncontrollably like she was being tickled from all sides.

"I'm glad we could help," Watt said, stepping toward the chaos pony as she wiggled and spun in the air, soaking in all the latent magic. "Though... I guess this means we won't be able to... y'know, have a conversation like this with you anymore!"

"It's ok!" Screwball managed through bouts of laughter. "I know it's— hee hee— ha-hard for a regular pony to understand, but this is the way I was made to be! The way I want to be! Maybe I can't talk to you or adventure with you in the same way as we did today, b-but— ahaha!— but this is the way a being like me can be happy!"

Pinkie strode up, nodding. "Thanks for all your help today," she said.

"N-no problem," Screwball stammered, as the curls in her hair grew bouncier and her body seemed to get more rubbery. "And haha-hey, don't be a stranger! Come visit as often as you like! I'm sure we'll have tons and tons of fun!"

That was all she could manage before laughter overtook her. She squeezed her eyes shut, as her whole body glowed with renewed chaos magic. When she opened her lids again, zany purple swirls had once again replaced the pupils.

"Friends! Friends! Fun day!" she babbled, floating in circles around the pair of earth ponies and producing hooffuls of polka-dotted katydids while fashioning a sombrero for herself with a bell pepper crown and dangling cherry tomato decorations around the brim. "Play more soon!"

Watt chuckled. "Sure Screwball. We'll come see you again soon, alright?"

Despite the influence of her chaos magic overriding her capacity for higher intelligence, Screwball truly did look nothing short of absolutely delighted. Beaming, she floated into the distance, leaving a trail of snail slime that hung in the air as if it was on a solid surface, singing "Friends, friends" to herself over and over.

"We should probably get going too," Pinkie acknowledged. "Till next time, you guys."

"Thank you again, Lady Pinkie," Sir Lintsalot said, bowing. "Farewell."

"Adieu," Madame Le'Flour added.

"Next time, maybe don't cut it so close," Rocky added dryly.

Watt and Pinkie boarded Gummy and set off in one direction, while their inanimate friends hopped away in the other. Once they were out of earshot, Pinkie turned to Watt uncertainly.

"So... still friends?" she asked, knitting her brow.

Watt patted her on the back. "Still friends. Don't worry."

Pinkie looked pensive. "What happens now?"

"Don't know," Watt admitted, leaning back and watching the clouds roll by. "You'll start looking for that new path through life you mentioned. And I guess, by extension, I'll be looking for one too."

There were a few moments where neither pony spoke.

"We'll both find one," Pinkie said certainly.

"Yeah," Watt breathed. "Maybe we can't see it just yet... but we will."

---

Breeze patted Watt on the back with a wing. "Chin up, buddy," he encouraged. "Break ups suck. Believe me, I know. But it'll get better."

"And you know what Dr. Candyfloss would've said," Ditzy reminded him. "It's better to suffer a little now than—"

"—to force together incompatible hearts," Watt finished, sitting up. "That's what I told Pinkie, too. It seemed to help her make peace with the situation a little."

He paused. "And... helped me make peace with it too, to be honest."

"Good old Candyfloss," Cloudcover reminisced. "Gone, yes, but his teachings are as potent as ever."

"Still..." Clarity chimed in. "It's only natural to be upset. Do you need the day off? I can give you the day off. The others will cover you, I'm sure."

Watt shook his head. "No thanks, Dr. Clarity," he said, sitting up and stretching his forelegs. "Moping's not gonna help. It's the same as when a shipping assignment doesn't work out. You just gotta look toward the future and your next adventure, even if you don't know what that is yet."

Clarity, tactfully, didn't correct Watt on his use of the "doctor" title. "That's a great outlook," she said with a nod. "And like you said, Pinkie Pie's still your friend; I'm sure the two of you have loads of adventures still to come, even if they aren't romantic ones."

Watt nodded back as he got to his hooves. "So, got an assignment for me?"

"If you're sticking around for the day after all, then yeah," Clarity admitted. "Stallion in Hoofington who's fallen for a mare that's part of a traveling circus. Sounds right up your alley."

"Sounds fun," Watt chuckled as he grabbed the address. "See you ponies later."

"Go get 'em, old boy," Cloudcover cheered. "After all, the Watt we know has had his share of stumbles and collisions..."

"...But I keep on speedin' ahead!" Watt laughed.

The door to Equestria Speedy Shipping Services was thrown wide, and a yellow blur once again raced through town, always moving forward, even when bound for a new, uncharted chapter of his life.

Comments

[KMCA]

Quiet comment section you got here.

[The Spy of the Tiger]

There was a cartoonish "bwomp", as Gummy expanded outwards and upwards, returning to gargantuan size all at once. "Look at zat!" Madame Le Flour commented. "Not only is ze land returning, ze magic is returning too!"

A bwomp, or a boo-womp?

[The Spy of the Tiger]

But seriously, it's nice to see you back. Nearly a year, but this is always a treat.

[Pegasus Rescue Brigade]

11751240
Yeah, sorry, I was feeling poorly for months and months this year and when I had free time I just wanted to chill and watch youtube or play a game. Wasn't feeling up to being creative, but I'm better now.

[The Spy of the Tiger]

11751260
Hey, it's no sweat. We love your stories, but we don't want you killing yourself stressing about them.

[Olden Bronie]

A new chapter of Ancedotes was a wonderful surprise this week. I actually stayed up late reading this and it was definitely worth it!

I liked how you portrayed Pinkie and Watt. He definitely knew something she was dealing with a problem, but didn’t push her to talk about it. Pinkie had good intentions but was not only causing herself physical turmoil but emotional upheaval, as well. You did a great job of keeping the suspense of her dilemma…I was really racking my brain trying to understand what was upsetting her so much!

I think facing a situation, especially one where we feel so much emotion and don’t want to cause others pain or stress, does make most of us feel like Pinkie did; like the world is crumbling around us. We want to do or say something, but the more we hold it in, the more it breaks us.
Watt was very mature and empathetic by putting Pinkies’ feelings ahead of his own. He’s a very deep character with a good heart.

Glad you’re feeling better, PRB. And thank you for more of your wonderful stories!

[Pegasus Rescue Brigade]

11752264
That's the thing about Watt; he's portrayed as silly but he cares just as much about other ponies' feelings as the other matchmakers he works with do.

Although, in these Inanima chapters, when he's surrounded by Pinkie, Screwball, and goofy inanimate objects, he actually ends up playing the straight man instead of the comic relief!

[Thought Prism]

I can see why Pinkie was so reluctant to admit her feelings in this situation, given that she feared doing so could have made Watt very sad. Though before the reveal, I must admit I was a bit confused by her stubbornness here.

I wonder, could Luna potentially visit Inanima? It's basically Pinkie's daydreams made manifest, after all.