Bloodlines
It was late at night in Canterlot palace and except for the occasional cough of one of the guards' ponies, or the chatter of maids, the palace was at rest. Princess Sparkle had long since raised the moon and as such, it was somewhat surprising that one of the many windows was still lit, surprising since the room’s inhabitant lived in Ponyville these days but had returned to the mountain city to help her mentor with a research project that Twilight lacked the time for due to her many new duties.
Luckily Luster Dawn was no stranger to all night study sessions and the studious mare happily scribbled her findings on a piece of parchment while nosing through the many books strewn across her desk.
”Interesting…” she muttered as she turned yet another page in her book on the history of the Crystal Empire. “I should definitely look this up and see if there is any merit to this in the morning.”
Though she had to admit that it would likely please her mentor that she had found this particular bit of information, and if she was lucky that might result into a road trip to the Empire itself. Nothing beat a road trip with Princess Sparkle after all.
So with the prospect of a fun day, Luster finally extinguished the candles and crawled into bed to catch a few hours of sleep.
The next morning just before dawn, Twilight blinked awake and slipped out of her bed. It had been a few months now, but it still felt awkward to sleep in what was essentially Celestia’s old room.
Aside from that little annoyance, she had found herself settling fairly well into her new home, she had, after all, spent years here under Celestia’s tutelage,and could always be found in the palace if she wasn’t at home, or at the School for Gifted Unicorns She missed those days at times, just her, the Princess and a good book, reading together in front of the fireplace.
Shaking the memory from her mind, Twilight strode to the balcony doors and opened them so she could step out to lower the moon and raise the sun, a feat she could finally manage without the talisman Celestia had given her a decade ago.
She had barely done so when a hoof rapping against the door to her chambers drew her attention. A gentle chuckle escaped her lips as she recognized that pattern after having taught that mare for twenty years.
“Come in Luster, the door is open!”
Sure enough it was her student marching into the room carrying a stack of books and scrolls in her telekinetic aura.
“Good morning, Princess Sparkle!” the pink mare exclaimed while trotting up to her teacher to exchange a nuzzle. “You won’t believe what I found in those tomes you had brought over from the Crystal Empire!”
“Ïs that so? Well I expected nothing less from my star student after all.”Twilight replied as she bends her neck to nuzzle her protege in return, Luster had that same zeal she recognized in her younger self, which had made the choice of making the then young filly her student a very easy choice all those years back.
“Yes! According to this book on noble houses, House Sparkle originated in the Crystal Empire before it vanished for a thousand years, isn’t that fascinating?” The pink mare chimes excitedly.
Twilight blinked, frowning slightly That *was* interesting, and it came as no surprise that Luster of all ponies had managed to reveal such information, she could not be more proud.
“Well that is most certainly an interesting revelation, I guess that means there is only one course to take here isn’t there?” Twilight queries her student.
“Road trip to the Crystal Empire?” Luster Dawn asked almost pleadingly, glee apparent in the mare’s eyes.
“Road trip to the Crystal Empire!” Twilight would exclaim with a laugh, draping a wing over her student’s back. She would lead her out of her bedchambers to go and prepare for their journey.
While traveling by royal chariot these days was an option, Twilight simply had not felt like the excessive luxury of it today, so instead she had used her magic to assume the somewhat smaller form she had before her coronation and the forty years of growth that followed, and had taken Luster along with her to the train station instead.
Sure she still caught a few looks as was the norm these days but all in all the ride to the Empire had been quite peaceful and after half a day of travel, she and Luster arrived at the train station just within the Crystal Empire’s shield.
”I told you not to eat those fritters while we were riding the train, Luster. You always get queasy when you do that, yet you keep doing it.” Twilight admonished the mare as she chuckled and rubbed her withers.
Luster hiccuped and snorted softly in response, she had been convinced that just one fritter would not cause any trouble at all, but sadly had been wrong. “I’ll keep it in mind next time, Princess.”
Rolling her eyes, Twilight guided her towards the palace. It was only decent to say hello to her brother and his family while they were here, and undoubtedly Shiny and Cadance would be happy to see her too. It also offered her the chance to see how Flurry Heart would react to an unannounced visit from Aunty Twily to her empire.
The Empire itself hadn’t changed much over the forty years that had passed as the crystal ponies didn’t like change all that much, a point that Twilight could respect since it had taken five good friends to get herself to change her own ways.
Had it really been forty years already? The thought distressed her a little since those very five friends would one day no longer be with her and she dreaded to think how those days would affect her, but she wasn’t here to dwell on that, she was here to see her family and to see if her student’s findings held merit to them.
”Are you alright Princess?”
Shaken out of her revery, Twilight blinked and smiled at her student who regarded her with a slightly worried look.
“Yes, Luster. I’m sorry, I was merely thinking about something.” Twilight apologized and offered the mare a warm smile.
Nodding Luster hugged her mentor before following her to the palace while a few ponies trailed after them, curious to see why Princess Sparkle was in town.
“So to what do we owe this unexpected but pleasant visit, Aunt Twilight?” Flurry Heart inquired while the five of them were seated at the dinner table waiting for the servants to bring out their meals.
“Luster found some older information regarding our bloodline and we wanted to look in the local archives to see if we could find more details on it, Flurry.” Twilight answered while looking over to see Luster and Cadance discussing something as Shining Armor simply smiled at the two.
Flurry nodded looking thoughtful. “Sounds interesting, maybe you should look in the older sections to see if those books hold anything relevant.”
Twilight nodded and now pondered if the buildings of Crystal Empire, the Tree of Harmony and her own former castle in Ponyville now owned by Starlight held a connection seeing as all three of them consisted of similar materials.
“After dinner Luster and I will spend a few hours in the archives then, and in the morning we can go and do something fun along with your parents if your court schedule allows it.”
Flurry leaned over to hug her aunt and nodded. “Fine plan, and don’t worry I’ll make time for it by scheduling court in the evening, but I see dinner is ready.”
And while maids brought in platters of food Twilight’s mind wandered, wondering why there were records of her family originating here instead of Canterlot.
Later that evening Twilight and Luster found themselves in the palace archives, a place that always pleased Twilight as it held even more books than the library at Canterlot did, an annoying little fact that she planned to remedy as soon as she had a nice court-free day to herself, but for now she simply had the joy of being here instead, along with her student with a few hours to fill researching the material Luster had found.
There were numerous books on the history of the empire, but things became less detailed when it regarded the time period when the Crystal Empire vanished shortly after Sombra’s defeat, followed by a thousand years of no details at all until the return of the empire forty six years ago when she and her friends beat Sombra for the first time.
Nevertheless Luster called out to her after a few hours and carried a weathered old grimoire in her telekinetic field. “Look what I found~” she said, a triumphant smile on her muzzle while she placed the book on the table in front of her mentor.
The book looked worn but on the cover Twilight could still make out the heraldry of her family even though it had nearly faded beyond recognition, and as she opened it she was glad she had taken the time back then to learn Old Ponish.
Skimming through the pages she found various feats performed by her bloodline, yet when she reached the page of her eldest ancestor her eyes widened and time seemed to stop while she just stared at the portrait of the stallion who had been the progenitor of her family.
King Sombra I
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... And? You call that an ending? That's basically where the real story starts. Not where this one ends. Honestly, you crammed way too much into such a short story.
This would work better as a much longer one. Not a one shot.
love it!
10635443
Contest rules were a short story with max 2000 words, and for the winner I would do the same in kind, but if there is enough interest I might expand on it.
I know you had a word limit, but this just doesn't feel finished. The reveal that King Sombra is her ancestor isn't a conclusion, it's an opening to a story.
10635462
It is hm, I'll see if I can expand on it, I haven't written in over a year, this was meant to be a warm up, but constructive critiscism is welcome.
10635467
The premise is very interesting! I could see a lot being done with this.
10635453
You still had 392 words to work with then. Why end like that? It's not much to do with 392 words. But still.
10635485
Now now, don't downvote Morion for an honest question, as for an answer I'm really feeling quite rusty after a year of not writing my mind just drew a blank after a while.
I'm inclined to agree with the others' beliefs that this is more of an intro than a standalone work. That being said, I found it fairly enjoyable regardless. Certainly wouldn't mind seeing a continuation of some kind, that's for sure!
:)
Hmmm.
Enjoyable, though there are a few oddities and one or two typos. Time seems a bit wibbly-wobbly though. Ten years since she was given the talisman to raise the sun and moon (or is it that she was able to raise them without the talisman only ten years ago?) but twenty years teaching Luster Dawn, yet only months since Celestia moved out, 4 decades since her coronation, 46 years since Sombra?
With that timeline, Sombra shows up, gets beaten, Twilight ascends years later, then takes on Luster Dawn as a student, is given the talisman a decade later, and then several decades later Celestia moves out. I mean, between Luster Dawn being taken on before Twilight's raising the sun/moon, and Celestia only moving out a few months ago, it's a bit wiggy. I'm all for Twilight having a good relationship with Celestia and all, but we're talking almost 40 years of implied bedroom sharing. Hey... whatever raises her sun <shrugs>... Whatever happens in Canterlot, Stays in Canterlot.
Still, despite that, the premise is interesting and didn't feel forced. The scene shifts were understandable and the only piece that seemed completely without purpose was the bit about fritters... then again, character development and slice-of-life tend to leak in to FiM, so it's not damning.
It does feel like the prelude to a much larger story though. Which is good! Here's to hoping this little nugget infests the author's mind and curses them with the need to explore and write about such an intriguing idea. I'd happily read more.
10635495
Explains why none of this timeline making any sense. As 10635562 pointed out. Stupid rust. Takes all the fun out of everything.
You have an interesting premise: I just hope that you can expand upon it! I'd like to see where this goes.
There is one thing that confuses me. You mention that it's been forty years since the Crystal Empire returned, but Twilight's been sleeping in Celestia's room for only a few months. Did she just move into that room a few months ago? Where was she sleeping before? It's a bit of an out-of-place detail that confused me for a bit.
Nonetheless, you show great promise!
I agree with others that this feels more like the intro to something else than a full story. There's a lot of places you could go with this.
Hmmm, if it's noted as the 'First' then it's not old Blackie.
Of course, it could be one of his little touches but who wrote it?
Thinking on it, nobody in the show referred to him as 'the First' either ...
So it's very likely that the Sparkles are a cadet line rather than direct ...
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh crud
I would love to either
A) see more
or
B) write off this idea and turn it into a huge story
This looks like a good premise, but it just looks like the prologue of a longer fanfic.
Is it a multiple chapter or something? Cause I like this fanfic to be more adventure kind of stories (just my opinion)
10636403
With this much interest I should really shake off the rust and pick up writing again instead of telling myself that my writing just can't improve.
10636479
You can improve more by just doing a research and understanding the character developments and stuff y'know
10636522
My issues are more with multiple speakers and proper show of surroundings I feel, I always, always doubt my own skill.
I'm sure she can some how use dark magic for the goodness of society if she puts her mind into it.
a really good start to a story, even if the timeline was a bit confusing..
but a multi chapter version of it, and i bit of cleaing up the timeline, and it the start to a good story
10635850
"Cadet line"?
derpicdn.net/img/2018/7/25/1789537/medium.gif
11640180
Aristocratic lineage, the main line is the 'current' holder of the title, cadet (or branch) lines are related (by marriage of non-main line lineage) that could take over if the main line dies out (IIRC) ... believe there's a separate term for non-wedded decendents ...
11640221
Ah, I see!
So with Cadence and Shining Armor taking over after Sombra's death, Shining Armor unknowingly took the throne that belonged to him by birth right.
Which means, that when Flurry Heart takes the throne, her claim is twice as legitimate. By ancient lineage, and by her parents pseudo-conquering the empire.
BTW, thanks for the explanation!
11640578
Depending on some sources, Cadence may be related to the previous lineage that Sombra deposed ...