- Member Since 24th Mar, 2018
- offline last seen Last Wednesday
Davis Collus
I know what I like. Support me on ko-fi.com/daviscollus
Davis Collus
Joined 24th Mar, 2018 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Davis Collus · 9k words · 53 31 · 1.9k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.113 seconds
Total duration
917 users online
414,901 hits today, 2,244,100 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Ohhh Lyrabuse, you don't see that a whole lot. Especially as rape, this story is a bit of a treat.
Will there be a sequel focusing on the consequences of Light Keeper’s actions after Lyra tells her parents about what happened?
10617533
I seriously gave a lot of thought to this and having the story follow that idea, but I really shouldn't. I have about 4 other stories already I need to do, and this story was made to break my writers block and get back my motivation. I had two ideas for a sequel
1) He goes on a hunt, kidnaps Amethyst, takes her back to the lighthouse, rapes her, and then Lyra hearing about her friend being foalnapped and she has to return to the lighthouse alone to save her.
2) He kills himself, but his spirit is vengeful and hunts down the pair, randomly raping them in places, like in their bedrooms, bathrooms, at the dinner table in front of the family, at school in the changing rooms, in the street on a rainy day with a perverted stallion thinking the filly is begging for him, not knowing what's actually happening to her. Lyra eventually figures out that it's the spirit of Light Keeper and Amethyst being the smart one of the pair gets a book on exorcisms and the pair return to the lighthouse where he died and try to lay him to rest with a spell they learned, however while there he's trying to kill them both.
I love the idea of the second one, because it's really different to the average kidnap and rape. It's a proper horror story. :) But... I really should do the other stories I have first... ... Dammit, I really like the idea of that ghost story XD
10617533
Unless you mean Amethyst Star is raped as well, I kinda doubt it.
Only problem I have with this story is that it's referred to as Chapter 1, and also marked as complete. I mean, there are a few grammatical errors, too, but they're minor.
10617564
Ooh, thanks. I didn't notice that XD
As for grammar errors, yeah. they are always going to be a pain to deal with. No matter how many times I check it. :/
10617563
How about you try the number one idea about the kidnapping and the arrest in the aftermath.
10617563
I agree, that second one is a really cool idea. Not the killing himself part, I think maybe dies in prison as a result of being found out, and he vows revenge.
Alas, I know what it's like to have a backlog of projects. The stuff I have on the back burner...
damn that got dark! hope the fucker dies in a fire
I mean, not terrible for a random prompt and 7 hours work, but you've got mistakes in both descriptions, and incorrect punctuation around almost all the direct speech.
10617693
thanks for the warning of the descriptions mistakes. I've taken care of those. However your gonna have to be more specific about the problems with the direct speech, I'm not seeing what you're seeing there. You say almost every time?
10617563
Damn, you're right. The ghost story idea is amazing. I want it almost as much as the Fetura sequel.
10617776
You don't use periods directly before closing quotes, nor capitalise the first word in the reporting clause.
Same rules for speech on both sides when the reporting clause breaks the spoken sentence.
10617967
*Grabs the nearest book he can find and looks for dialogue*
OMG! You're right!
*looks at all dialogue with new eyes*
I never noticed that before and no one ever corrected me on it. Thank you very much! I'll edit this story shortly to add these changes and remember this for all future fics. Thank you!
10617801
oh you should. It's such a good way to be creative :) I mean, this story was only supposed to reach about 1000 words for me to accept it as a job well done. However when I did a word count, I was at 2.5k words XD