Twilight Sparkle, You're Being Ridiculous
"You wished to see me, Your Majesty."
Twilight Sparkle dutifully trotted into Princess Celestia's bedroom. Twilight had just finished singing "Love Is In Bloom" when Princess Celestia summoned her for a private meeting, but was vague on the details.
The Princess of the Sun looked at her student with concern. "My servants were cleaning your room when they found...this on your desk." The Princess of the Sun wandered over to a dresser. Using her magic, the Princess levitated a massive list that was titled "My Going into Exile and Becoming a Desert Warlord To Do List-By Twilight Sparkle."
"May I ask what...this is all about?"
Twilight Sparkle cocked in her head in confusion. "Princess Celestia, I don't know what you mean. Of course I would make a list of things to do to ensure that my banishment and descent into villainy are done in the proper order and on schedule."
Before Princess Celestia could respond, Twilight took the list, let it roll to the floor, and began reading off the itinerary.
"On Day 4 at 3:30 AM, all my bits are to be stolen by a pickpocket in order for me to understand that my cushy life has come to an end and to make me aware of my own naievete," Twilight said with the tone of someone describing a grocery list. "On Day 5, I shall fight with orphans over moldy food from a trash can in order to toughen me up and prepare me for a hard knock life..."
Princess Celestia stood silently while Twilight rambled off her itinerary for her transformation into a wasteland bandit.
"On day 62, I will have usurped my rival for power, using my newly obtained chessmaster abilities to turn his lieutenants against him. On day 63, I will behead him before his former followers with a sword, but not before I belittle him as a pathetic fool who was never fit to be a player in the first place. I have to have that proper mix of cruelty, charm, and magnificence," Twilight said as if describing a cake recipe. "By day 64, I will amass my armies to lay siege to Canterlot to take vengeance upon you..."Twilight trailed off as she noticed her mentor was pursing her lips and making a strange noise. "Princess Celestia, are you..."
"HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!"
The white mare began cackling. The Princess was laughing so hard, her teacher's ribs looked like they were about to burst out of her body, and tears were even falling down her eyes.
"Princess I worked so hard to make that list," Twilight said with some despair as her mentor's laugh started to die down, "but if it isn't up to your specifications, I could-,"
"Twilight Sparkle, I'm not laughing because of poor organization," Princess Celestia said with a smile. "I'm laughing because you honestly thought I wanted to banish with you." Princess Celestia's smile got wider. "Why would you think that?"
"Well," Twilight began, her ears folding down in sorrow..."you got really....mad at me in the rehearsal."
Princess Celestia's grin got even wider. "Twilight, I was angry at you. But do you really think I would banish you, the pony who saved Equestria countless times and freed my sister from her madness, over something as petty as a public outburst?"
Twilight thought it over and blushed out of embarrassment. "Well..."
"You are also the Element of Magic, and our realm's best defense against evil. If I was ever so short-sighted during my millennia of rule as to dismiss one of my best warriors over a minor slight, I probably would've been beheaded long ago."
Twilight thought it over for a few moments and felt her ears fall flat on her head in shame.
Celestia went over to her faithful student and began patting her on the head with her hoof. "Did I banish you over the Smarty Pants incident?"
"No."
"Did I banish you when Fluttershy took Philomena?"
"No."
"If your behavior ever got even remotely close to that point," Princess Celestia assured her prized pupil, "I think I would've given you a warning or properly disciplined you." Princess bent down to look her pupil in the eye. "Twilight, why would you ever think I would banish you?"
Twilight frowned at her instructor with a frustrated tone. "Well...when I told you what happened, you didn't even bother to check on her. You believed Cadence over me."
Celestia's playful smile faded once she detected the genuine hurt in her student's voice. "You're right Twilight, I am sorry for not taking your words seriously," Princess Celestia admitted. She then gave her faithful student a stern look. "But let me ask you a question, Twilight: if my faithful student is screaming 'SHE'S EVIL!' in the middle of a wedding rehearsal, and my 'niece' has a logical explanation for her behavior, and she breaks down crying in offense, who am I inclined to be believe?"
"I guess...I wouldn't believe me either," Twilight admitted reluctantly. "Maybe I did go about things in a ham-hooved manner."
"As the Smarty Pants incident proves, you do have a history of letting your fears cloud your judgement," Princess Celestia added with an even sterner tone.
"Fears?" Twilight asked, picking up on the fact that her mentor was about to have a serious talk about her behavior.
"You felt so frustrated and scared, that you couldn't come to me with your concerns in a calm and orderly manner," Princess Celestia pointed out to the lavender unicorn with a concerned voice. "Why Twilight? Why did you feel the need to bellow out your concerns?"
"It's just," Twilight began uncomfortably, "I was...mad that my brother wouldn't tell me about the wedding. And then I saw how mean 'Cadence' was, but...everypony just seemed to care more about the wedding than about who my brother was getting married to and I just felt," Twilight Sparkle's voice got softer ,"nothing I said mattered to anypony." Twilight felt her eyes become wet. "And when everypony trotted away from me, it felt like nopony cared about me and everypony hated-,"Twilight felt tears go down her eyes and she stared crying.
Twilight was so upset, she barely noticed two giant wings surrounded her. Before she knew it, she was being pulled into one of her teacher's hugs. They were so warm and fluffy, Twilight as a filly theorized her teacher was made from pillows.
"Twilight," Princess Celestia said in a soothing tone, before releasing her student. "I'm sorry if I made you feel this way. But I assure that I was not planning on dismissing you as my faithful student or banishing you." Princess Celestia then craned her students neck to she could look her in the eye. "At worst, I was planning on sending you home and having you write an apology letter to Cadence and your brother as punishment. When Chrysalis banished you to the mines, I assumed you already had gone home. But once the wedding was over, you were still going to be my faithful student." Princess Celestia pulled her student into another hug when she saw Twilight on the verge of tears again. "And you're right that we all put too much concern into the idea of wedding than if the marriage was correct. But let me be clear: just because your friends and family can act selfishly and get angry at you doesn't mean they'll stop caring about you."
"Maybe I was being a little ridiculous," Twilight admitted once her tears stopped.
Princess Celestia took a tissue and began wiping her student's face. "It isn't ridiculous to worry about losing your friends and family. I often worry about being a good enough for my subjects or whether I might repeat the mistakes I made with Luna."
"You do?" Twilight asked as she the Princess wiped away the last of her tears.
"Yes," Princess Celestia said in a soothing tone. "Losing your friends and family is a new fear for you, because up until a year ago, you had hardly any kind of relationship outside of me or your family. Once you gain friends, you will dread losing them. It's perfectly normal. What you need to work on is not letting your fears control you."
"You're right," Twilight accepted in a mature tone.
"What is ridiculous is you methodically planning to become a hustler in order to, and I quote," Princess Celestia said, holding up the exile list," 'adopt the ruthlessness needed to survive in the desolate settings I shall henceforth live under." Princess Celestia started cackling again. Twilight laughed along, feeling much better. "You're an educated mare, Twilight," the white alicorn said. "Even if you cease to be my student, you still have plenty of options before you need to delve into the criminal underworld."
"Thanks Princess," Twilight expressed with a relieved smile on her face.
"Come," Princess Celestia said while holding the door open, "let's go talk about this with your friends and brother."
"Really?" Twilight wondered. "But it's the wedding-,"
"If you feel this way, maybe you should get this off your chest as soon as possible," Princess Celestia pointed out. "Again, if you don't want to be ruled by your fears anymore, the first step is that you talk about them with someone you trust."
With a small admittance that she was right, Twilight began following her mentor out of the room, preparing herself for the long talk with her friends. She feared it would be difficult, but looking at Princess Celestia, she realized that friendship was difficult, but love could still endure even in the most trying of times.
"On the other hand," Princess Celestia said as they trotted to the Grand Dining Hall, "I think you would've made an excellent desert warlord."
Twilight, as usual, lit up at praise from her mentor. "Really?"
"Your book fort proved that you have the heart of the warrior!" Princess Celestia said dramatically. "If you can battle the Demon of Illiteracy, you can battle desert bandits."
"Princess Celestia!" Twilight squealed with a mixture of embarrassment and laughter.
"'My shield is the Oxen-Ponish Dictionary;," Princess Celestia declared in between fits of laughter, quoting young Twilight''s bold declarations. " 'My sword is the Encyclopdia Maretanica, because the greatest knowledge is power-'," Princess Celestia descended into even more chuckling, while Twilight laughed along with her, more sure than ever she was still Princess Celestia's prized pupil.
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Love this!
An unexpected but much appreciated twist.
This is cute. Most accusation fics and fix-fics for A Canterlot Wedding are practically cut-and-paste the same thing. “Twilight gets mad no one believed her, chews them out for it and breaks off ties with them (with the possible exception of Spike) and leaves them with everyone feeling miserable.”
This is a nice change of pace from all that. This is both funny and heartwarming. Honestly I think the last post-Canterlot Wedding fic that was this good was Post Nuptials, and that was released way back in 2012.
CUTE
You have no idea how happy I am to see a Canterlot Wedding fanfic that ISN'T almost exactly the same as every other one. I'm happy that you addressed both sides of the whole thing, cause I haven't seen any other fics that have done that.
Freaking thank you. I was getting so goddamn tired of "Celestia and Twilight's friends are all bastards for not listening to Twiggles immediately and should die screaming" fics.
Once again wonderful work and applaud the logical, realistic approach your taking with the characters and the situation.
This was great, and it really balances about a lot of the Celestia is evil and doesn’t care for Twilight fics I’m seeing pop up a lot at the moment. Nice work
only Twilight would make a to do list to become a villain and try to take over Equestria, and then go to Celestia and ask her what she thinks of her plan.
I remember some time ago reading a fanfic where Twilight tried to take over equestria, she made an appointment for her coup.
Awwwwwwwww...
This was so unbearably sweet, nice little contrast to all the salt you'd usually expect from this genre and actually a nice contrast to a lot of Celestia/Twiight fics nowadays.
Hilarious in Twi's scheduling of her descent into an edge-lord, heartwarming and awesome in how it subverts the usual "Wedding Accusation Fic" routine. Absolutely going to my favorites. 10/10.
10544973
You can say the same for Anon-a-Miss stories.
Thank you for writing this.
This is one of the extremely few "fix fics" that actually fix the perceived problem with a episode - and in a heartwarming and reasonable way!
It pratically can work as a coda to the episode!
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I also enjoyed Post Nuptials for that very reason. I am very happy to hear that my writing has gotten as good as Darth Link's.
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I am very much bewildered by how so many fanfics have blown the situation out of proportion. One fanfic I read, I can't remember the name, has Twilight being exiled to a griffon wasteland and becoming a cruel crime boss. And the idea of Celestia and the Mane 6 exiling her is just plain stupid. They forgave Luna, they could easily forgive Twilight for something so minor.
As I've discussed in a blog post, i don't think Shining, the other Mane 6, and the princess leaving Twilight behind was that unexpected.
Twilight may have been right, but she handled the situation in a hoof-fisted way. That, combined with the good acting skills of Chrysalis, it isn't unreasonable for them to assume Twilight was acting out of sorts, in the way that led her to ENCHANT A DOLL just to have a conflict to write about.
If Twilight would have a crisis of faith over this, I think it can easily be solved with a short but heartfelt conversation.
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A lot of people are so obsessed with "edgy" they forget the whole "friendship is magic" thing.
I think Celestia and Twilight talking their problems out is far more realistic and truer to the source material.
that was cute
10545230
The thing about fixfics/accusation fics is that the writers care less about proper story, setting, characterization, etc. Its just them venting through a character's mouth at fictional characters and blowing it out of proportion.
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A friend of mine once described them as "blog posts disguised as stories".
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I think fanfics created specifically for that purpose are insipid and annoying. And they ignore a reality that life is more complex than good or bad.
Definitely a cut above your usual A Canterlot Wedding Aftermath Fic song and dance, seeing as the characters are... actually having a reasonable, productive conversation instead of one party screaming at the other and having the disagreed with party not getting a meaningful word in edgewise (and in other sorts of fix-fics they're unrealistically passive ala "you really think Starlight's probably just gonna sit there and listen to this rant without attacking or something else, seeing as she sneak attacked Twilight mid-sentence before and screamed 'QUIET,'", aside from Twilight not being the type to do this for both sympathetic and logical reasons ala "try to call the armed guy petty and unreasonable when they currently hate me and are pointing a gun in my direction"), less twisting involved with the characters.
Twilight really did handle that thing poorly, with how she called "Cadance" out not immediately after seeing the mind control application, but waiting until the next day for the dramatic moment (and of course after she was showing signs of jealousy), and the episode didn't really explicitly acknowledge how badly she handled it beyond Twilight saying "she fooled everypony.
For a moment, I thought it would've been similar to this scene from Avatar: The Last Airbender
If the show actually done a better apology scene like this one, then we wouldn't been disclosing like this.
Now, if only Shining Armor and her friends are here too. :P
Yes! Thank you! So many of the Canterlot Wedding fixfics tend to ignore that Twilight had barely a rational argument to give and was really just throwing a temper tantrum.
Ahh, this story was really refreshing. Logical arguments from Celestia, a reasonable and humble response from Twilight.
Only a couple of times by then, so... maybe?
On a more serious note, I'd count both Twilight's outburst and everybody else outright refusing to talk it out afterwards as plot-convenient overreactions in the episode itself.
Honestly I would love a fanfic of Twilight becoming a walord, especially if it humorous
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If you like logical mlp, read Twilight Get's A Puppy. It's fun, but with real-life logic. Even logic I didn't think of. In the show, Twilight pretty much destroyed the life of Trixie, but in the story, as much as Twilight's friends dislike Trixie's attitude, Twilight(plus two other characters I won't say) is actually smart enough to realize it's part of the job description of being an entertainer, and doing so would not only be showing off but possible ruining her life.It's also cute(Kind of) how Twilight pretty much became a lawyer dancing the line between laws to get the townhall to compensate for Trixie's wagon.
If you ask me, it's really well made. And the personality of the characters is perfect, with their own additions to spice things up. Actually, there was one time when Twilight though- Whoops, no spoilers for you
Ps: Adorable profile picture!
PPs: If you do read it, it's really slow paced so it'll be a bit before you actually reach the point where twilight moves to ponyville.
I’d like to imagine an alternate Twilight where her gospel was The Prince.
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I didn't feel I needed to add them.
Because I felt it was a given that they could work this problem out.
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I'll try that story, then. Though little side note: Twilight never did anything to ruin Trixie's career. All Twilight did was save the town from an Ursa Minor. What put a little damper on Trixie's career was her own lie about being able to beat an Ursa Major being revealed, which kinda ruined the image as the "Great and Powerful" Trixie she had built up.
And it really was just a temporary damper, seeing how she was back in her showmare business by the next time she appeared in the show.
thank you this is how i feel everytime i read one of those fics where her friends turn on her or she get banished at the royal wedding
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I hope I didn't insult you or anything.
I get that but I still felt we would love to see more of your interpretation of the wedding aftermath. I have mixed opinions about one-shots since it might be easier for writers just to write once but at the same time, they ended up leaving the readers wanting more.
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You didn't insult me.
But I felt I really couldn't make that part unique. It would be more or less what Celestia did: apologize to Twilight, while assuring her they would still be in her life, all the while mocking her for her plans to become a edge-I mean, warlord.
This fic is simply wonderful, not only a wonderful antidote to Canterlot Wedding Accusation fics but also just wonderful, sweet and funny in equal measure.
I agree with the other comments, this is what a Canterlot Wedding fix-fic should be. Something that legitimately could have happened in the show. If not for, y'know, the time limit inherent in being an episode of a TV show.
EGADS! A ONE SHOT ABOUT THE CANTERLOT WEDDING?! THAT ISN'T JUST HAMFISTED RAGE AND HATRED?! POSTED BY ONE OF MY NEW FAVORITE AUTHORS AND ON MY BIRTHDAY NO LESS?! THIS REALLY IS A GREAT ANTIDOTE!
This is all super sweet, funny as heck, and deep as well; all written in the right ways! From the adorable beginning and end, I couldn't stop smiling at this beauty! I hope ya didn't mind, but I simply had to make a reading on this fic of yours!
Audio Linky!: https://youtu.be/yXeyJ-tdiyo
(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)
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Thank you so much. This is an incredible honor.
This good. Me like. You good. Me follow.
Everypony.
I love it. I wish this is what happened in the show. Celestia is Twilight's mentor and friend. After so many years together you'd think they be able to talk to each other.
Thank you for writing this. It was a very pleasant read.
All the 'Twilight gets banished and returns stronger' options, and finally this, where Celestia is an actual rational being and decides to nip the issue in the bud. Good stuff.
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Made the correction.
I'm also pointing how the fantasy of becoming some dangerous warlord is usually that: a fantasy.
Twilight attempting to become an evil villain would be more adorable than scary.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I disappointed you. I am therefore leaving immediately for Nepal, where I intend to live as a goat.
"On the other…hand?"
"It's a minotaur expression."
Book Sword grants +1 to knowledge
This is definitely a breath of fresh air from how this usually plays out. 👍
Coming to you in a calm and orderly manner wouldn't have changed the outcome. You would have told her she was letting her fears get out of hand, and (at best) advised her to talk things out with Shining after the wedding. There really wasn't time for you to hear Twilight out, starting thinking about what she said, and begin coming around to her point of view or investigating on your own. You had no reasons to doubt Cadence up to that point, and the reasons Twi would have given you could have easily been dismissed as her emotions coloring her perception.
It's rather the beauty of Chrysalis' infiltration. She managed to fool everyone so completely that it took an angry, jealous, obsessive-compulsive lunatic with just the right amount of personal history with Cadence to see through it. Twilight was never going to handle the confrontation properly, not as she was then. But, as the rest of the story shows, sometimes it's more important to go forward with the confrontation even if you won't handle it "properly".
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finally a fic in which Celestia is a fallible person/pony without making her a complete assdick :)
thank you <3
It's welcoming to see events from old seasons getting a rebirth.
You wrote a good wrap up to the Wedding events.
Very good for a short 1 chapter story.
Does a good job explaining things.