Rainbow Dash's Awesome Nightmare Night Haunted House Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Adventure

by TheDriderPony

You Have Nothing to Fear...

After a moment's deliberation, you decide to treat yourself with the whole thing. And why not? It's Nightmare Night after all. Gorging yourself on unhealthy sugary snacks isn't just tradition, it's basically required.

So long as Icy Hot on the Wonderbolt Heath and Fitness Advisory Board never catches word of it. Two hundred laps around the compound isn't hard, but you'll still catch flak from your team about it. Maybe even a new nickname if they decide on one catchier than 'Rainbow Crash'.

You lean in and take a bite, getting a fair share of both cake and frosting and snagging a fondant skull as well. Flavor explodes across your tongue. The smooth taste of chocolate merges with the unexpected depth of pumpkin into a new combination like nothing you've ever tasted. Hints of spice dance on the tip of your tongue, just subtle enough to add ornamentation to the flavor without overpowering it.

The cake is light and fluffy, countered well by the thick cloyingness of the icing and the odd crunch from a sprinkle. You take another bite, bigger this time now that you know what to expect, and refresh the flavors.

Did they call in Pinkie Pie for this? It's definitely in her league, though not as sweet as she usually makes them. Maybe one of Celestia's personal chefs? Or, maybe, was Trixie secretly a gourmet chef? No, impossible. She didn't have the attention span. You continue to chew in bliss as you ponder.

A small voice in the back of your mind, the part that usually keeps an eye out for obstacles and incoming projectiles while flying, can't quite settle down though. This is supposed to be a haunted house. It doesn't make sense for one room to have a delicious cake and nothing else. With each new bite that voice becomes ever more tense, constantly expecting something to happen. For the cake to have a hot chili pepper core. For it to turn into something gross mid-bite. For a monster with a camera to jump from a hidden door and catch you in an embarrassing spit-take.

And yet... nothing happens. Despite that portion of your brain having a freak out, you polish off the rest of the cake with a few more eager bites, leaving nothing but a few crumbs and a icing-smudged doily on the platter. The doily also makes an excellent napkin. As you wipe the crumbs away, you notice a something written on the back. It reads:

Fun fact: Did you know the average Equestrian will eat eight times their weight in cake every year?

You shrug and make a note to remember that for later. It might be important. Or maybe Starlight just used some store-bought doilies that already came with trivia on them. Still, nothing of note seems to happen even after you've read and discarded it.

Nothing happens as you replace the lid on the platter. Nothing happens as you walk back towards the door. Nothing happens as you close it behind you with a click.

You shrug. Maybe there was some joke you didn't get. Maybe it was a scare designed specifically for Rarity about calories or something.

...maybe Starlight and Trixie just aren't quite as good at designing scares as they claimed.

But hey, it's not like you're complaining! Free delicious cake is free delicious cake!

[Sated with sugar, you feel yourself calm down. Remove one (-1) from your Fear Meter]

Author's Note:

What Will You Do?

[Continue]