Rainbow Dash's Awesome Nightmare Night Haunted House Choose-Your-Own-Adventure Adventure

by TheDriderPony

You Have Nothing to Fear...

You start to push open the door, only to realize that it's a lot heavier than you expected. You lean your shoulder into it, flapping your wings for extra push.

Slowly, inexorably slowly, it begins to open. Despite its wooden façade, the door feels like it's made of solid stone.

You don't bother to push it all the way open, instead slipping through once the gap is only just wide enough to allow it. The door booms behind you as it falls shut once more, sending an echo that resounds throughout the large torch-lit room.

You weren't wrong, the door is made of stone on this side, as is everything else. The walls and floor are a solid grey rock, smooth and uninterrupted, like a pale lake. A row of pillars run down the walls, alternating between marble and obsidian. Or maybe chalk and jet. You're no geologist. The most you can tell is that half the pillars are bone white and the other half are pitch black.

At the center of the room is a raised platform, a sort of four-tier stair-step pyramid that looks like somepony pulled it straight out of a Daring Do novel. Alternating cubes of black and white stone give it a chessboard-like appearance.

The room is silent as the grave, save for the clopping of your own hooves against the floor, which echo and reverberate like peals of a great bell tolling out doom.

"Creepy," you acknowledge just before something surges forward from your blind spot. It hits your head like a freight train, rendering you unconscious.

---

You awaken to the uncomfortable feeling of ropes lashed tightly across your body. You only wish it was the first time you'd woken up like this.

Your legs? Immobile.

Your wings? Tied back.

Your mouth? Surprisingly ungagged, a pleasant change from the old trope.

You can still turn your head at least. Though limited, your field of view is just wide enough to confirm that you're still in the same room, bound in the center of the raised area.

You'd be more scared if you didn't feel like you could almost name the page of the book they were ripping off. Seriously, if Ahuizotl comes out in the next few seconds with the Scepter of the Broken Moon...

Much to your surprise, instead of an adventurer-pony-obsessed ape-like weirdo, your vision is suddenly filled with a pair of pony weirdos. It's easy enough to decide that they're weirdos since no normal ponies walk around in full-body robes and masks made to look like painted skulls.

Both of them lean in, staring at you in oppressive silence.

"Uh, hey?" you offer lamely. "What's, uh, what's up?"

They continue to stare at you in silence, not so much as twitching to show that they've even heard you. You're just about to try a different line when one finally speaks.

"One by one we bite the dust," says the figure whose cloak-like robes are white and whose skull is black. His voice is rich, deep. The kind of voice Rarity would call 'chocolatey'.

"What?"

"Kick the bucket, begin to rust," says the second, who wears a black robe and white skull. His voice is higher—younger maybe?—with a slightly scratchy quality.

"What are you—" you start to question, but they steamroll right over you.

"Give up the ghost when our number's up."

"We all fall down."

Clearly, neither of them has any interest in actually answering any of your questions. They're too caught up in their weird rhythmic back-and-forth rhyme talking. You'd be much better off spending the time trying to loosen your bonds than trying to communicate.

"Ashes to ashes,"

"Bones to paste."

Your wings are roped to your back, but each hoof is tied to its own corner of the table. Maybe with a bit of wiggling you could...

"You wither away in your resting place."

"Eternity in a wooden case."

"We all fall down," they finish in eerie unison before falling back into silence.

The white cloaked one leans in close, uncomfortably close, so close you can see the brushstrokes on his mask. He whispers, "Today... is a very special day for you."

A cold shudder runs down your spine at his words. "I-it is?"

"It is," he agrees. "For in this life you can only die once." He stands back up before you can respond. "Everyone only has so much time to spend in this life."

"A finite number of days, minutes, seconds," adds Black Robe.

"And yet ponies constantly let those precious seconds of time slip through their hooves."

"A shame."

"A loss."

"Regretful."

"So... what?" You test, pushing for more time. "You guys are trying to achieve immortality or something? Cause if you want a pair of wings this is not going to cut it it. I'd know. I know the princesses."

White Cloak chuckles. "Immortality? Foolish. No, just the opposite. Death is inevitable. It is the goal of all life."

"We've accepted that, and now we work to guide others down the path of our enlightenment."

White Cloak reaches into a hidden pocket and pulls out a dagger, long and cruel and sharp enough to cut the light. "Death is no stranger. He is an old friend with whom we all must meet."

"We are but gatekeepers. Guiding to him those who would flee or squander the time they've been given."

The icy chill of the altar creeps into your back, drawing out your energy and making your wings go numb. You shimmy a little to try and shift your weight off them, only to feel something bump into your hip. Recognition comes in a flash. The bucket filled with all your items! They hadn't taken it. If you can get a hoof free, you might have a weapon!

White Cloak traces the blade along your chin, letting it part fur but not skin. "Tonight, you, our dear guest, have been chosen to achieve the pinnacle in spiritual enlightenment."

Black Robe draws his own identical dagger and lets the point lazily graze along your vulnerable belly. "The clock is always ticking... until it stops. May your sacrifice bring us ever closer to our own. Remember Death."

"And remember we too, shall die."

They raise their knives high above their heads, light glinting off the blades like diamonds.

You figure you have about five seconds to decide one last action.

---

The ropes don't feel as tight as they could be. Maybe a strong enough pull could break them and let you FIGHT back. You also feel a slight weight at your hip. They didn't take your ITEMS! You even think you can see something poking out of the top. With some luck, you might be able to get a weapon to defend yourself with.

Then again, maybe violence isn't the answer. You could always try TALKING your way out. You're no Twilight, but you can be pretty convincing when you want to be.

On the other hoof, maybe this is all just to much for you, and you can't help but PANIC.

Author's Note:

What Will You Do?

[Snap the Bonds and Fight Like Tartatus]
[Try to Reason With Them]
[Use Whatever Item You Can Grab]
[Panic] [YOU MUST CHOOSE THIS OPTION IF YOUR FEAR IS OVER 75% FULL]