Dinner Parting
The royal dining room, referred to in secret by the various guards and maids of the palace as 'Celestia's Cake Room #2', was unusually quiet. While it was never the most rambunctious environment, apart from one very intense dinner party involving a hostile griffon delegation, today was an exceptionally quiet affair. Only two ponies were present, and only one of them was currently alive, and was struggling to consume the salad suggested for her by the royal physician. As far as she was concerned, her weight and BMI were perfectly healthy, thank you very much. Still, she refused to lose the bet she had with Luna. She could make it through the rest of the month.
The other pony seated at the table, a certain necromantic purple pony, grumbled as she stared at the food in front of her. Normally, she would have absolutely torn the hayburger in front of her apart. It had been months since she last had one... but despite her best efforts, she was struggling to consume anything from the plate. Every time she tried to take a bite, her body violently spat it out purely on instinct, as if she was trying to consume something as heinous as acid, or bell peppers. It wasn't that she felt particularly hungry either, which was strange considering she had not eaten or drank anything since her untimely demise.
Celestia looked up from her salad and gave Twilight a patient smile, using the slight distraction to teleport some of the bitter tasting green leaves from her own plate into the sun. "Its okay, Twilight. Most undead don't consume food... or at least pony food."
Twilight sighed, poking her dinned with a hoof. "Then what am I supposed to eat? I have to consume something to stay alive... or... not-alive? Not-dead? Whatever. Continuing without eating anything would break the laws of arcanodynamics."
Celestia nodded and took a sip from her glass of wine. "Well, yes. Everypony needs to eat something. Even changelings require emotional energy to sustain themselves. What you need, though, is trickier. It depends on what kind of undead you are. For example, wraiths consume thermal energy, and revenants mostly live off of hatred. Though, I believe zombies ate a mostly grain diet."
Twilight blinked. "Grains? Not brains?"
Celestia shook her head. "No, that was a misspelling in a document long gone. Common misconception. They mostly consume barley, if memory serves."
The recently risen pony sighed. "This would be so much easier if there was a book I could read on it. Are you sure there aren't any left?"
Celestia shook her head. "No, not for nearly a millenium now. We were under constant attack from various undead creatures for centuries, so we did what every reasonable governing body does, and censored and destroyed every scrap of literature involving it."
Twilight's eye twitched at the mention of destroying countless books. "We'll come back to that topic another time. So there's no documents, no stories, no pony at all who can help me figure out what's going on?"
Celestia tilted her head thoughtfully. "None, no. I myself only know the basics, hunting down and eliminating the undead was more under my sister's jurisdiction."
Expression changing to a hopeful smile in an instance, Twilight gasped. "Of course, I'll ask Princess Luna then! I'll go ask her right away! Thank you so much, Princess!" With a surprising amount of speed for an unathletic bookworm, the little purple princess dashed out of the room.
Celestia's expression, on the other hoof, turned to one of panic. "No, wait! I have to warn her first! She doesn't kno... and she's gone." She let out another sigh, and poured another glass of wine before standing up to follow after her. "This isn't going to be pretty."
Princess Luna, Ruler of the Night and Bastion of Dreams, was unsurprisingly a heavy sleeper. She remained unconscious despite the loud, thundering banging on her chamber's door, and didn't stir as a dark silhouette slowly approached the side of her bed. Despite her near comatose level of unconsciousness, she was not, in fact, vulnerable. She was known as the warrior princess for a reason.
Her eyes snapped open in a split second as she felt an approaching sensation that she had not felt in over a thousand long, lonely years. Necromantic magic was easily detectable, once a pony knew what they were looking for, and the aura of a powerful undead being was unmistakably at her bedside, its limb moving towards her body at a frightening pace.
With a shout of righteous fury, she drew the massive steel battleaxe (that she of course kept under her pillow at all times) and lunged towards the nighttime invader, slashing its head off in a single chop. The sound of something wet hitting the floor was enough to let her know that her attack had struck true, and she let out a victorious laugh. "Hah, and Tia said We had gotten rusty! Now let Us see just what foul creature deigned to molest Our chambers in the middle of Our sacred night!"
A flick or her horn later, and her bedroom chambers were lit up brightly, and the entire grisly scene was thrown into the light. The red dripping from her battleaxe was clearly going to stain her carpets, but that was of no concern to her. That's what her handmaiden was for!
Hearing the door being thrown open, she looked up to see Celestia storm into the room. "Ah, Tia. Thou art just in time. Behold this mongrel of the darkness that I have disposed of!" She smiled up at her older sister, perfectly playing the part of a younger sister seeking praise.
Celestia just sighed and leant down, picking Twilight's head up off the floor. "You have just beheaded my student, Lulu."
Luna squinted, looking more closely at the lavender fur. "Aye. It appears We did. Sorry about that."
Her sister sighed once again and placed her face in her free hoof. "You know, this is why you can't keep a coltfriend. You need to stop mutilating things in the middle of the night."
Luna leaned in and looked at the head. "Mutilated? Nay, twas a clean cut. One chop."
Twilight's disembodied head glared back at her with a bitter expression. "I've seen better." It said in a sarcastic tone.
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Yes, let's destroy ALL knowledge on a dangerous subject. Such a stupid move will NEVER come back to bite out collective flanks off! Seriously tia? More and more everything points to the ONLY reason no one conquered Equestria while the sister that actually did something was everyone saw what you did to your own sister when she stood up for herself.
A battle axe... under the pillow... Well, well.
I wonder what kind of undead our Twilight is. Maybe a lich? No, because she doesn't have a phylactery. Zombies? Possible, but unlikely. A skeleton? definitely not. A banshee? rather no than yes. Dullahan? Quite possibly, given the last chapter.
We are waiting for further developments.
files.everypony.ru/smiles/52/c3/07eed5.png - Luna, you just beheaded my student.
files.everypony.ru/smiles/9a/1e/0ca23c.png - Yes, but she's an undead.
files.everypony.ru/smiles/52/c3/07eed5.png - It's logical, but what are we going to do with the body?
files.everypony.ru/smiles/28/a0/8d2b4e.png - We'll burn it.
Nice
How is the gore tag going to be used for comedy?
MARIAH CARREY HAS UNTHAWED, I REPEAT, THE ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS WOMAN IS ON THE LOOSE.
Good story by the way.
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I believe this chapter provides an excellent example.
Maybe she's the spirit of friendship present?
I think Twilight's line at the end sold this chapter.
well this sure is a jolting way to accept that you truly aren't a living thing anymore.
Appreciate the chapter, even if it's size leaves me longing for more.
I'm sure youre hiding a few more inches somewhere.
This story is cute and I'm happy to see it chugging along again
Luna: Truely? Who was it? We must challenge him to retain our 'Cleanest Enemy Cut' title.
Celestia: No, Luna. I won't let you repeat the Appleloosa Forest incident.
Twilight: Appleloosa had a forest?
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There's some inappropriate joke to be made in there, but I am too tired to make it.
No...
"ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS—"
NO!
"—IS YOU!"
NOOO!
Poor Twilight, that's gonna be a pain to fix. Maybe duct tape?
Problem solved! A living pony who doesn't eat, stops being alive. An undead pony who doesn't eat...stops being undead!
Well i think Twilight got ahead of herself with talking to Luna
Did the cover art for this JUST get changed?
Also...
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HAHAHAHAHA...
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img.youtube.com/vi/KoeOIXuhtR8/hqdefault.jpg
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KETER HAS BREACHED CONTAINMENT
Well that was akward. At least Twi has gotten a bit more resilient.
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It's okay you get some rest
... ha!
Twilight isn't going to let a little thing like decapitation slow down her snark.
You're just a bitter dumb dummy...
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She... really loses her head over new research; no matter the partner or subject.
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Fluttershy is well known for her kindness, emotional support, and motherly nature.
If he needs cheering up he should see pinkie or if he needs someone to cry as much as him with him he could go see rarity...
That... last one is a poor jest.
Realistically he could go see rarity, but with the way that she is designed, I do not know how she would be acting with actual grief.
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Oh lord what have i started... I regret nothing
What particularly struck me first was this line:
Really, Twilight? Really? What did poor old acid ever do to you?
And yeah, I too would like to know where exactly you’ve seen a cleaner cut. Especially if it was also supposed to involve an axe...
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The author said she died -(might be a bad spot of telling instead of showing)- but Spike would of had no way of knowing without checking for a pulse. Maybe he ran there in a panic? It still feels like an odd choice.
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haha funny plot hole go brrrrrr
So, Power Spell Caster, Necromantic energies, Powerful Book.....So she is a Lich then.
Interesting. Does that mean that she has to build a tower now?
Monk
"Cooties! Of course, colts like him had cooties! Then again, she probably already caught them by now. Oh well, can't get more cooties if you already have them, right? Grabbing the colt’s hoof, Anonymous pulled herself up." -IsakeiAnon
I guess you have your readers a , heads up hehe
Given it's Twilight and a book was involved, there's plentiful possibilities. It could be a curse, in which case the book itself is animating Twilight...and feeding on its surroundings. She could be a lich, and drawing off local magical energies with the option of more direct consumption of life energy or actual souls.
Revenants or lesser undead, unlikely.
So it can be an immortal undead then, like a vampire. What color are her eyes?
That was messy
As matpat would say lllooorrreee