Angels Go Lightly
Wallflower Blush
I don’t think I’ve ever been so tired in all my life, and when I pry my eyes open, my first thought is not only am I tired but everything hurts.
No extreme pain or anything like that.
Just… sore.
I’m so sore.
“Wallie?”
I force my eyes open. It feels like I’ve been awake for three days straight. The faint burn behind my eyelids, and their weight, is almost overwhelming. The lights above me are harsh and pale, and the bed beneath me is hard and uncomfortable.
A soft hand settles on my cheek, and I turn my head to…
“Sunset?” I narrow my eyes. “You look awful.”
She laughs, raggedly but happily. She really does look awful, though. Sunset’s features are pale and drawn, and her hair is matted against her head and face like she just sweated her way through a marathon in the heart of summer. There are bags under her eyes too, and her shoulders are sagging with the weight of a world.
“Hey, baby,” Sunset drags herself forward and cradles me close, alternately laughing and crying as she presses soft, slow kisses against my forehead and cheeks. “You’re okay… you’re okay.”
She’s repeating the words like she’s saying them to herself, more than to me.
My brain is working slowly, creeping forward out of an odd, cloying murk, and as it does the memories start to drift sullenly back into view. Memories of my old street. My old house. An argument.
Momma.
Rosary.
And…
My breathing starts to stutter as I remember.
‘...finally found the bottom of that damn bottle he was always losing himself in…’
“Dead.” I almost bark the word out. “He’s… He’s—”
“I know,” Sunset pulls me closer, wrapping her arms around me, and I cling to her and bury my face in her shoulder as the import of everything hits me all at once. “I know, Wallie, it’s okay.”
“IT’S NOT OKAY!” I scream the words, but they’re muffled against her top. “You don’t know! You don’t know what it… what he…”
“I know.” Her tone becomes hard and flinty, and I can feel her hand curling into a fist behind me.
Sunset is shaking.
I pull back from her, my panic forgotten for a moment as I stare at the woman I love most in the whole wide world.
Her head is drooping and sagging along with her shoulders. She’s holding on to me as much as I’m holding on to her. Sunset’s breathing is almost as ragged as mine and… and hanging from her neck, dangling from a thin leather strap, is a gleaming, orange geode, and my whole world tightens to a pinprick focused on that small stone.
“Sun… Sunset?”
She raises her head, and her face is twisted in grief and guilt. “I’m sorry… I… it was the only way, Wallie. I had to get you back, I… I had to go in after you, okay? I had to.”
“Did you see—?” She nods before I can finish, and a cold, hard knot forms in my stomach. She saw everything.
“Forgive me.”
Those words, so softly spoken, deafen me. Forgive… her? Sunset is bowing her head, her hands are bunched into tight fists, and she’s clenching the sheets around the hospital bed I’m lying in tightly enough that her knuckles are turning white. Her head is pressed to the rough scratchy fabric, and dark spots are trickling down beneath a face hidden by sweat-sodden locks of red and gold.
“I’m sorry,” Sunset voice is pain-wracked and raw. “I kn-know you didn’t want me to see. I… I never would have if I… p-please… forgive me.”
I reach out, shakily, for her, but something green catches my eye before I can.
A loop of woven flora is settled on my finger. There’s a matching one on Sunset’s hand.
That’s right. It was her turn to make them this time. The last ones turned brittle yesterday and came off. They lasted almost three days this time. Sunset promised she would find some time to make new ones between her classes but I told her it was okay.
That there was no rush.
I didn’t tell her that my hand didn’t feel right without something on it anymore. I didn’t want her to worry about me, or feel bad about being so busy.
She did it anyway, though. Somehow, between her course load and all of her tutoring, she found time to weave a couple of loops, even though she’s not very good at it yet and it takes her a lot of tries.
I lower my hand to rest it on Sunset’s head. She’s shaking, and her shoulders jerk and heave every now and again with choked-back whimpers. She’s begging me to forgive her for looking into my head.
She’s begging me to forgive her for going looking for me.
“Why?” I say, and the words come out a little wet. “Why did you— you hate that thing!” I nod down at the geode. “You hate what it can do, and what… why would you use it?”
Sunset’s shaking slowly ebbs as she lifts her head. Her eyes are puffy, and she swallows hard a few times before answering.
“Because you’re my whole world, Wallie,” Sunset sobs. “I’d do anything— anything— for you.”
My mouth dries as she pushes herself up by her elbows like Sisyphus getting ready to roll that damn boulder up the hill one more time, and just shakes her head with a bone-weary smile.
“I saw what they did to you, what he did to you,” Sunset says. “I… I know I had no right, but if it’s between that and even the tiniest chance of losing you, or you being hurt, then I’d do it again, and again, and a thousand more times.”
She witnessed everything. Or as good as. She felt what I felt. The pain and trauma. The neglect and the beatings. The shame and the loneliness and the total, all-consuming isolation. Sunset endured it because I got all swallowed up in it and couldn’t get back out.
“Why?!”
Sunset looks confused. She looks around herself like she’s trying to find an answer but eventually just sags, shrugs, and says:
“I… I told you, you’re my whole world.”
Sunset reaches out with trembling hands, and I almost lunge to grab onto them with mine. It’s clumsy, we’re both exhausted, but finally, we manage to link our fingers together, and Sunset lets out a harsh, ragged laugh.
As she holds me, a memory rises up from the depths. A good one this time. A memory of years ago when Sunset held on to me in this same hospital, and told me…
Because you’re precious to me.
“So… don’t hate me?” She pleads softly. “I’m just really crazy for you, Wallie… really, really crazy.”
All I can do is nod and try not to bawl as I agree.
“T-Totally insane.”
“Yup!” Sunset agrees brightly, smiling through a veil of tears. “But that’s me… I’m just completely useless without you, okay?”
And she laughs. Her laughter is so bright and beautiful. It’s like dawn breaking, and I can’t help but start laughing with her as we all but fall against each other. I’m so tired, but she looks even more exhausted than me. I cradle her as she laughs and sobs. She’s coming apart at the seams and for the first time in maybe ever, I’m the one holding Sunset together as she clings to me and bawls like a child.
So I run my fingers through her hair like how she does for me when the world has gotten to be too big or too much, and I sit up so she can rest beside me and lay against my side, and it’s like the moment the tears run out, so does everything else. Sunset goes from panic and crying to sleeping the sleep of the totally and utterly drained.
A soft knock comes at the door a little less than an hour after Sunset falls asleep, and I look up.
Aunt Rosary is standing at the door looking almost as worn as Sunset.
“Wallflower?” She says quietly, and my heart skips a beat. “That’s… you’re Ivy’s girl, aren’t you?”
My mouth dries, and I look down at Sunset briefly.
“I saw it, too,” Rosary confirms. “I saw what my friend and her monster of a husband did… I…”
She takes a long, deep breath, folds her hands in front of herself, a slight but visible tremor passes through.
“You… I erased myself from you,” I say quietly. “How did you remember? Did—?”
I look down at Sunset.
“I don’t remember,” Rosary says quickly. “In my mind, I know that I’ve never seen you before this afternoon in front of Ivy’s.” She takes a deep breath and moves beside the bed, sitting down and reaching out to take my hand. “But in my heart… I know you.”
Now, tears start to form, and her narrow, worn hands grip mine tightly.
“There’s an… an ache in my heart when I look at you that I have no way to explain,” she continues. “When I look at you I just… I feel something I don’t have a word for.”
“I’m sorry,” I cry quietly. “I was just… I was scared. I… I just wanted to disappear, and… I’m sorry, Aunt Rosary, I’m so sorry!”
“It’s alright, kiddo,” Rosary says, wiping at her eyes with her wrists as she does. “No judgment here. You got out! Not everyone does. And you found a great girl.”
“Yeah, I did,” I laugh, nodding. “I really lucked out!”
“I’m proud of you.” Rosary reaches out and brushes a few stray strands from my face. “I saw what you lived through. I saw the shadows that are in there,” she taps my head with her finger. “Living with that every day? Waking up to that every day? You’ve got iron in your spine, kiddo, and I think if I had a daughter, I’d want her to be just like you.”
That does it.
I can’t hold it in anymore. I sag forward and Aunt Rosary catches me, humming that soft, familiar tune as she rocks me back and forth.
Part of me wishes my life had been different. That I could have been Rosary’s daughter. That I could have grown up safe and loved and being sung to sleep and learning about gardening without worrying.
Would it be worth maybe never meeting Sunset, though?
It’s hard to answer that, but I don’t think it would be. I think that, no matter how hard my beginning was, where I’m going matters a lot more, and I think that going there with Sunset is probably the most important part of all.
A quiet song plays on the radio, and I hum along to it as I water the daffodils, bluebells, and violets at the window.
I haven’t picked out the new flowers for the shelf yet. I’m still thinking about peonies and forget-me-nots.
Definitely that last one, at least.
“Hey.”
A pair of slender hands slip past my waist and around my middle, and suddenly Sunset is resting her chin on my shoulder and nuzzling against me. I lean against her too, return the gentle affection as she brushes a kiss across my cheek.
“You okay?” She asks softly.
I sigh and shrug.
Today is the day.
He’s going to be buried in the common grounds of the Ponyville Church of Grace. The service will be short and small, and probably sparsely attended.
Even now, it doesn’t feel real. I think because, in my nightmares, it's not, and I resent him for that. I resent him even more for being in Sunset’s nightmares now too.
“We can still make it,” she offers as she pulls me into a hug from behind. “If seeing him go into the ground will help, I mean.”
“Would it help you?” I ask pointedly.
Sunset frowns, looks pensive, then sighs and shakes her head.
I shrug and turn to face her, wiggling in her arms until I’m the right way ‘round, and I loop my arms over her shoulders and rest my head against her chest.
Sunset brushes her hands through my hair, weaving her fingers through the curls as she sighs quietly.
“I love you, Wallie,” Sunset says, nuzzling the top of my head as she does. “You’re everything to me.”
“I know.” Once upon a time, I don’t think I’d ever have been able to say those words with confidence to anyone.
Even now, I’m not entirely sure I believe them. But I can say them, and that’s a good step.
“I love you, too.”
I let out a quiet hum of delight as Sunset hugs me a little harder for a moment before letting go.
“Rosary said she’s free if we don’t mind having an old lady hanging around,” Sunset says with a slightly happier tone. “I told her I don’t think she’s been old a day in her life.”
“She’s definitely not going either?” I ask.
“Nah.” Sunset waves a hand dismissively as she walks over to the couches and drops down onto it. “She said that, and I quote, 'worthless ass doesn’t even deserve having a grave to be pissed on’ and then started talking about knitting.”
I can’t help but laugh as I walk over to join her, settling myself squarely in Sunset’s lap.
“That sounds like Aunt Rosary,” I say with a smile.
“I uhm, I have something else to tell you,” Sunset starts in a smaller voice.
“Hm?”
“I quit smoking.”
My eyes go wide as my stomach drops. The look of guilt must’ve shown on my face though because Sunset shakes her head.
“Don’t… it’s not…” Sunset trails off, then takes a breath and starts again. “I… I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Wallflower Blush.” She brushes my cheek with her fingers. “I want to grow old with you. Smoking and drinking are not going to help that, okay? I’m not just quitting for you. I’m quitting for me, and for us.”
“Smoking… and drinking?” I echo hesitantly.
“Yeah,” she says, nodding, then frowns. “Although that last one might be partially because of the sympathetic psychic shock from the geode. The smell makes me yak now.”
“Sorry…” I grimace, but Sunset just shakes her head.
“Don’t be,” she says firmly. “It’s long past due anyway, and it makes it easier.”
Then she leans in and presses her lips to mine, and I melt against like I always do. Tonight will be a little rough, I think.
For both of us.
“So… invite Rosary over?” Sunset offers.
“Yeah,” I nod. “I think I owe all of us some good memories.”
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- I-A-M · 4.5k words · 70 2 · 1.2k views
- I-A-M · 1.3k words · 76 2 · 1.4k views
- I-A-M · 2.7k words · 71 2 · 1.1k views
- I-A-M · 13k words · 109 2 · 1.5k views
- I-A-M · 6.3k words · 117 4 · 1.5k views
- I-A-M · 44k words · 140 5 · 2.5k views
- I-A-M · 4.4k words · 67 2 · 1.1k views
- I-A-M · 1k words · 63 1 · 1.2k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.136 seconds
Total duration
847 users online
1,624,889 hits today, 2,139,894 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Every part of this story is absolutely flawless. Like for real, this is a miracle story. It shouldn't be possible, it's too good.
Three 5/5 perfect SunFlower stories in a row. You are my damn hero 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
It’s nice to see references to your other stories reading this, great read man.
Now the wedding goddammit.
You're killing me with these, man. You are just too damn good at pulling on my heartstrings. Great work again.
Another great story, now to see if there’s another sequel.
...So these appear to be basically turning into another series/verse within your work, now. Not complaining. :)
10392593
Hm. I caught the one with the mechanics, but what were the others?
10395334
Yeah, they sort of are. Blame Scampy for that. I promised her some SunFlower, but you know me, Reese. I can't do anything small.
10395308
As always, I appreciate your eye on this stuff. There's always something that slips me.
10395463
Hah, like I said, not complaining; also not surprisingly, you're doing them well, too. :)
Thanks. :)
10395465
Thanks. :) And I know how that is, yeah; elusive things, typos...
Sorry I don't do more of this, really, but, well, other things wanting my time.
edit:
Oh, by the way, I'm not quite sure of the meaning behind the title on this one; if you don't mind me asking, what is it?
10395334
I can’t remember the others if there were any but just across I-A-M’s stories in general there’s always references to the other stuff they’ve written.
Hopefully this is the last Emotional roller coaster these two are a part of, so they can now live a happy and joyous life together as well as a good chance for Wallflower to reunite with a long lost family member.
10395761
Ah, okay; thanks. :)
You do know you have to a fic of their wedding now, don't you?
I mean, we have to see the "perfect" ring Sunset picked out. And what Rarity designs as far as dress/tux. The unique vows. The garden they plant together that inevitably will be the setting. All their friends and family from two dimensions giving them support and love. Hijinks inevitably ensue when two Pinkie Pies plan a wedding together.
That sorta thing.
Don't leave us hangin' now.
10398927
Oh I’m aware. Definitely have that as a required story I’ve gotta write.
And another rollercoaster ride of a short story that you’ve knocked out of the park. Where Love Deeply and Promises To Keep set up the dynamic between the two, here you delve head-first into Wallflower’s past in a way that comes across like a lovely little spin-off episode.
Immediately, I’m impressed. The analogy of memories being like rooms is just fantastic, and the way Wallflower and Bright Eyes play off that analogy in a way that feels fluid while still making perfect sense (“my house has motion sensors rather than light switches”, I feel that) is top-notch.
As OCs go, Rosary is immediately right up there. There’s something about the way you write her as this sly old bird, to whom rules are more like guidelines, that just tickles me.
Like her initial interaction with Sunset was excellent. Linking back to the Memory Stone, and weaving the narrative so that ironically, through the two of them lying through their teeth, they manage to tell pretty much the exact truth about Wallflower’s situation? That’s genius.
I gotta say, I’m conflicted about this entire scene – in a good way. On the one hand, it seems very in-character of Sunset, heroine impulses and all, and it’s a nice version of the I will run through fire for the one I love mentality, noble as it is. But Sunset’s behaviour is quite unhinged here, as though driven by burning determination to do something that’s actually really rash. It’s… just a bit disturbing.
And then, when they’re finally reunited…
Dammit, you knew all along didn’t you
. Cracking stuff, as always.
10467332
This story was really my major foray into making the SunFlower cycle more nuanced than just a couple of fluffy one-shots. Delving into Wallflower's troubled past, how she used the memory stone, and why, was a big part of that.
As for Bright Eyes, I really do enjoy writing him. I actually have a degree in psychology so it's fun being able to approach writing from a place where I've got some first hand knowledge. I feel like having that knowledge helped it feel real. The House analogy is one that I use for myself and for others IRL so that's part of why it probably feels fluid.
Also yeah. I adore writing Rosary. She's so much fun.
Regarding the troubling part. Yeah, if you've read any of my stuff then you'll know that one of my version of Sunset's major character traits (I wouldn't call it flaw as such even though it can go badly) is that she goes completely all-in on things. It's like Wallflower says in Promises, Sunset is 'Damn the Torpedoes, full speed ahead.' Even if Sunset thinks there's only a tiny percent chance that something bad will happen to Wallie, that's enough for her to go nuclear because if the bad thing does happen and she knew she had a way to make sure it didn't, but didn't use it, she'd never forgive herself.
That's part of why she's my favorite manic disaster lesbian.
Adding "Sisyphus" to the list of good Sunset analogies/metaphors, especially in your work. This little reference actually adds a lot to the story, IMO, what with all of the spiritual allusions in the title and prose. I love stuff like this.
Bonus points for them both being aware of it.
Amen.
Amen.
I don't know how to properly finish this comment, other than to say I absolutely loved this story. I find it trivial to say which of the SunFlower series is the best to me, because they are all so damn good in their own way, but parts of this had me floored. You should be proud of all your stories, but I sincerely hope you're proud of this one in particular.
I'm not crying, you're crying
10690684
Another one of I-A-M’s stories.
I’m going to go do my homework now. Great story. Loved readying every word of it.
This story and Running Our of Air really act as what I'd call the essential heart of the saga. If someone were to get past me stubbornly insisting that you don't get the option to read only one, that you must read all the SunFlower Gardens entries, then these are the two that I would eventually grumble are the goodest of shit, the main course to all the sides and desserts that you spoiled us readers with. The way so much unfolded in so few words without feeling weakened by brevity is a testament to your talent as a writer, and that we finally get a rich peek into (and more importantly, out of) where Wallflower came from in order to start untangling the roots of her trauma...
It's hella good shit. I think my favorite addition was a figure from Wallflower's past who was able to convincingly restore some of her memory (or at least the effect of it) with the help of Sunset. Rosary Wise acts as a good extension of your natural ability to incorporate more tricky, controversial human-world elements into Equestria Girls by being a walking, taking Real Religious (tm) reference. Her dry, take no shit old lady gay with lots of wisdom to guide Sunny and Wally along. Now that they've both graduated, it only makes sense they would feel panicked with less immediate support from their friend group and principals. The only thing I'm left wondering is how Ivy is. Her husband abused her for most, if not all of their relationship, and she was both a victim and enabler due to her callous attitude toward her only child.I would hope that Wally makes no effort to reconcile with someone, since it would be a disservice to how far she's come and evidently unhealthy, but we also don't get to know what happens to her or what Ivy is like post-funeral. It would be interesting to see.
The next story is a bit too far into the Not Safe For Ice Star realm, but I'll still give it an upvote. Unfortunately, that means robbing you of your perfect 69 upvotes on that story. I might be sorry for that.