Beautiful Prison
I’d be lying if I said I haven’t grown fond of my meetings with Sombra, as infrequent as they’ve become. It hadn’t taken long to learn that he was quick to tire out, and so focused on his subjects that he prioritized helping them over himself. It was so unlike what the History books had taught me.
Just now he was lying on the floor, a pale coated filly between his forelegs and telling him about the tricks she’d played in the halls. Sombra would praise her work, occasionally giving her advice on the best way to blow out a candle or whisper in another’s ear. It was both fascinating and depressing.
She was one of the many spirits that had begun to make themselves known to me, most of which were foals, and it had become increasingly obvious that there was an overabundance of them. They were innocent and unknowing, most completely unaware of the fact they were dead. They’d often ask me if I knew where their parents were, or asking if I could help them find them and it was incredibly upsetting knowing I couldn’t help. Thankfully, Sombra was always quick to whisk them away and distract them with something else.
He’d once explained that foals were so common because their parents would come to the Royal Sisters for help, and whether it was because they couldn’t or wouldn’t, many foals died. He’d also mentioned that, because of their innocence, foals were the hardest to help. They were all still too young to understand what had happened, and he had yet to help one move on.
Yet he continued to try, desperate to relieve their innocent spirits of the curse of an imprisoned afterlife.
“Are you sure that the guard didn’t see you?” He asked the little one, she nodded excitedly, speaking in a voice so quiet I couldn’t understand, though it seemed so clear to Sombra as he laughed, “Is that so? In that case, I’m proud of you, that one is very hard to startle. She’s far too good at her job.”
The filly covered her mouth in a silent giggle, and even I couldn’t help but smile at her happiness. Whispering something else in Sombra’s ear, he nodded before smiling
“Perhaps I can join you next time,” He said, leaning down to gently kiss the filly’s head, “But I am very busy now. Go on back to your caretaker, would you? I wish to speak with Luster.”
Nodding, the filly sped off, quickly fading into the darkness to join her fellow spirits in whatever safety they found themselves in. I watched her go, the shadows quivering where I assumed her caretakers were.
“Do I upset them?” I asked.
Sombra shook his head, sitting up, “Some are wary of you, but they trust me, so they’re assured you won’t try and hurt them.”
“That’s good to know, I wouldn’t want to disturb them,” I said, gazing in other spots of the room. My ears twitched as I heard their incomprehensible whispers and their near silent hoofsteps, “What do they think about Princess Twilight?”
He frowned. “My own feelings aside, they seem to like her. Barring my death, our numbers have yet to increase, though seeing as her reign is still fresh when compared to Celestia’s, only time will tell if she’ll work in our favor.”
“I hope so, you have a lot to do if you want to help every creature here,” I said, another thought coming to my head suddenly, “But what’s going to happen to you when they’ve all moved on?”
“I suppose I’ll see when I get there,” He shrugged, “Maybe if I’m lucky I won’t lose my mind to the silence, and will stick around to help any more lost souls. Or maybe I’ll suffer the fate of a vengeful spirit and go mad, but at least then I’ll be able to haunt Twilight for the rest of her immortality, however long it may be.”
He seemed far too amused at the idea of harassing the Princess for the rest of her life. At this point, I’d grown used to his disdain for her, and it wasn’t too hard to hold back defending her anymore. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to, it was just the fact he really had every right to hate her, all things considered. I still tried to offer a positive outlook however.
“Or maybe you’ll move on too?” I suggested, “Maybe helping all the spirits in the castle is your duty, and as soon as they’re all released from death, you will be too.”
“A lovely thought,” He smiled, though it was more sad than anything, “However, I don’t think I’m deserving of such a thing.”
“If you haven’t noticed, Equestria doesn’t go with the whole ‘what you deserve’ thing. Plenty of ponies have been reformed, and I don’t see why you should be any different. I know you don’t want the Princess involved, but I’m sure she’d forgive you.”
“Twilight keeps many secrets from you,” He said, shaking his head, “She won’t forgive me, just as she won’t tell you of her own crimes. I am perfectly fine awaiting my fate.”
“Yes, but… I’m not.”
He looked to me, face unreadable. He’d mastered the art of hiding emotion, and neither his ears nor tail gave me a hint of how he was feeling. It was frustrating sometimes, just how hard he was to read.
“My fate in the afterlife has never been your concern, and as much as I appreciate the fact you care, I would much prefer if you lived your own life instead of hyperfocusing on my death.”
“But, Sombra…”
“Hush now. My fate is sealed, yours is not,” He said, making his way slowly closer, setting a hoof within my own. I didn’t shiver, his cold touch had long grown into a calming feeling, “You have every option to change and to choose your own fate, but what you’re doing now is not it. You spend so much time chasing the dead and pleasing Twilight, and with that, you’re stagnating your future. Do you even have an idea on what you want to do?”
I opened my mouth to answer, promptly shutting it and shaking my head when I realized I had none.
“Then perhaps now is the time to make a choice? Surely, there are better ways to live?”
“Well, I guess I have been thinking about broadening my horizons, maybe an independent study?”
He nodded, “That could work. What would you be studying?”
“More magic, probably,” I shrugged. This time I could read Sombra’s mood, and that was because he was disappointed, “But I guess that could change. I’ll figure it out when I get there. Maybe I could even study the paranormal a bit?”
Now that got a chuckle out of him, and I smiled in return. It was a joke, of course, but I knew my views on such a thing would always be different after everything he’s taught me.
Stifling the laugh, he said, “Well, whatever you choose, I hope the future works out in your favor, Little Luster.”
“And I hope that yours, as unsure as it is, works out as well.”
His smile faded just a bit, as he turned to the stained glass windows. Their kaleidoscopic colors bathed us in their rainbow light, just as they had every night since our first meeting. In a way, it could be described as beautiful, but I couldn’t stay focused on the lighting. I was far too focused on the pony beside me, the gentle and wistful stallion that the History books had always told me to fear.
My first and closest friend, Sombra, King of the Dead.
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Great story, I really enjoyed the interactions between Luster Dawn and Sombra. I also like how the story avoids the typical 'reform a villain' template. It's really interesting how Sombra found a place for himself in the afterlife, helping others with their problems.
10261351
I'm actually a sucker for the typical 'reform a villain' story, and am actually writing one myself, but it's also fun to do things a bit differently. Very glad to hear I pulled it off, and that you liked it!
I really liked this and I strongly agree with GalaxyBrain0h0, I’m glad that this was not the usual ‘reform the villain’ story.
Le gasp! You know what this needs?! A SEQUEL!
10261605
I mean, I'm not saying I've got some snippets of Sombra making himself known to Twilight... But I have snippets of Sombra making himself known to Twilight. Also there was a lot that didn't really make it into the fic since I had such a tight deadline, and I'd have loved to get to those.
Does this mean anything? Not necessarily, I'd at least like see how the contest goes before I decide anything.
... Why do you do Reformed Sombra so well? Why? Another great little story, and it only goes to reaffirm my love of Fandom Sombra more than... That Sombra the show left us with... Guh. Still get frazzled over thinking of that atrocity.
10261613
Honestly, I would love to see these little snip-its. As I was reading, I was kinda hoping that her would speak with / interact with Twi.
10261622
I've been writing about villains reforming since 2013, I think I've just grown a knack for it... Also I just really love the concept of characters associated with darkness/fear/death to not be completely evil. That's the sort of stuff I live to write.
And hey, show Sombra's not that bad! He was just... Handled incredibly poorly
by writers who I don't think care about him, I could rant all day about it.But enough about that, thank you for the compliment and for reading! Never enough of reformed Sombra.10261632
Contest rules stated that the fic must focus on the main two characters, though I probably could've added a brief Sombra & Twilight interaction if I had wanted too, but since I was on such a tight schedule I only wrote what I thought most relevant.
But also, maybe someday! The snippets are pretty incomplete right now, and a few of them contradict what this fic has established, so they'd need some work. Also a lot of it is just ghost Sombra harassing Twilight and living his best (after)life.
10261613
definitely be interested in that because i dont think twilight ever thought the elements of harmony would kill sombra they never had before and her actually feeling guilty he died specially if she find out be been helping sprites move on would be a interesting dynamic to explore
10261643
Maybe if you have enough snippets, you could make a sequel?
10261990
10261869
I'll certainly try to take a go at it! Even if all I have written is small bits of the story, I could certainly expand it, but first I'll be focusing on my main fic over this one. Twilight & Sombra could certainly have some fun and guilt-trippy interactions.
Also seeing that it already has three thumbs down for some reason makes me want to write more out of spite, because what the heck?10262165
Three thumbs down?!?!
Why?! But, yeah, keep working hard on SoaD(I’m super excited for what happens next, whatever that may be :P) also, I had a question. I’m drawing something that I will post on Friday and I was wondering if I might be able to use Luster and Ghost Sombra?
10262204
Eh, I'm just gonna blame it on spite downvoters, it happens.
And of course! Even if I write them a specific way, neither Sombra or Luster are my characters so you're free to do whatever you'd like with them!
Especially if it may count as fic fanart.I would love to see what it is when you're finished with it too.10262213
Cool, thank you! I promise to post it on Friday
This is a lot of levels of fucked up. He has to tell children that they're dead. You might want to edit this and be more specific that these spirits were ponies that couldn't be healed and the like, otherwise it makes their placement seem more along the lines of the recently dead and their circumstances much sketchier. I'm glad to have inspired a story this good, and there were many strong feelings to be had in this one. Sombra as a reluctant, my-way, and independently driven guardian of steadfast stubbornness is a wonderfully done idea.
Now, can I please have more?
10263047
The horse racism was in calling him a 'thing' and all that. You should try more first person since this is quite the stellar attempt. Plus, it's fun stuff.
10263065
This is sequel fuel if I've ever heard it. The idea of Luster working on her research project with Sombra helping her and encountering these ghosts is a great way to have an easily fleshed out sequel. Also, this is just bait 10261613 and I must bite it.
10261622
Based comment.
10261869
I see you on a ton of Sombra stories and this is good and you should feel good. Especially because this idea is also good and I would like to see it written. Hopefully, it intrigues Moth too.
10263052
A couple of people have already said they'd like this to be expanded upon, and I do have a few little scenes written, so at this point it's certainly a possibility! Also I just... Really love writing characters hug, it's so good, so I love it when other people like it.
Changed the rating, wasn't sure if it should be T since I never went too into details, but better safe than sorry. Also the art's my own, though a few months old, so I didn't think to source it. I could probably link it to DA since I uploaded it there though.
I thought I'd managed to address that well enough, but I'll take another look at it to do some quick editing before the contest ends... In like, an hour or less I think.
Honestly? You probably will, I could do so much more.
Glad you like this version of Sombra too! He was incredibly fun and interesting to write about.
10263101
Name one story that doesn't have him as a good boy. I'll wait.
10263095
Ah okay that makes much more sense. Was mostly going for the fact she had no idea what he was but y'know what I can go with that too.
Also everyone here is an enabler actually. Especially you. I have too many unused ideas for this story, so there's so much to work with. Guess that's an excuse to do another first person story too, because I am absolutely intrigued to do more.Also I just want to write about the ghosts too.
10263130
Yes, let Ice Star enable you~
The concept for this story is great. The opening hooked me and set up what followed quite naturally. Sombra's personality, while obviously different from the show due to his time as King of the Dead, still comes through in the way he continues to hate Twilight and have disdain for the ideals of Equestria. His pointed criticisms of the monarchy are both colorful and, at times, rather on-point, which makes him strangely more likeable.
Doing this story from Luster's perspective was a good move. Normally, I don't care for first person stories, but this one really works well. My primary complaint is that her emotions did seem a bit confused and I couldn't really get into her head at times, but it didn't stop me from enjoying the tale. Everything here is structured very well and demonstrates a good deal of thoughtfulness toward how to build both the story itself and the relationship between the characters.
And that hug. Right in the feels.
Congratulations on making 3rd Place 🥉 - you earned it!
Oh, wait, they actually are all Kirby songs, haha. I just only knew the one by name.
10268363
Happy to hear that despite the issues, it was still enjoyable! I agree that there are some issues, a few of which I probably could have worked on fixing had I had more time, but I'm overall satisfied with what I did. Glad to hear I pulled off the first person writing off pretty well too, because this was actually my first time ever writing something like that!
I took quite a few risks with this story, actually. From writing in a way I never have before, to putting an unfinished comic script into words within a few days, it came out a lot better than I expected. Quite a few chunks of the story where written from scratch too, the original comic idea ended quite differently.
So I might be a bit proud of myself for managing to get 3rd.
10268450
Yep, all the titles are Kirby songs! I was having a hard time deciding what to title chapters, but after listening to Kirby music while editing the final chapter, Sullied Grace came up and I realized 'Wait, this would make a great chapter name' and from there on out I googled the soundtracks from the past few games and went from there. Debatable on whether or not the themes actually fit each chapter, but it was too fun of an idea to ignore.
On that note, Shadow Strike was very nearly a chapter title as well, though I ended up using another song name since it didn't feel like it fit. Would've been nice though, because Dark Meta Knight's another character I've written about before.
10261613
I also think a sequel to this would be groovy.
10291100
I'm working on some ideas! Taking a bit to become a coherent story, but it'll get there... Someday.
I think I've got a good chunk of it figured out though.
Just finished reading this now, absolutely wonderful. I love the way you write Luster Dawn despite her not having much personality in the show finale, the way you write "reformed" Sombra as clinging to enmity while warming up, how both characters change their views as the story progresses and are still interesting without needing to change much themselves, and how well the supernatural stuff goes from being chilling to soothing. Sucks that the constraint from the contest cut this story short, because while I like Shadow of a Doubt a smidgen better despite my love for the supernatural, a sequel/spiritual successor (no pun intended) to this story would be stellar.
10314998
I've gotten a lot of requests for a sequel, and considering how much I had to leave out, it's something I've been writing ideas for. I just gotta make all those unused snippets into a coherent storyline now.
Also happy to hear you liked this one as well! It was a fun little story to write, and had a lot of new things for me to try, so it's been nice to see it's so well liked. I've also grown rather attached to this version of Sombra, and maybe even Luster too.
Just got done reading this and I have to say, I absolutely loved this! I can't believe it took me this long to read this! I just love how your portrayal of Sombra. How after everything he has been though he is just tried....and is helping those who is as lost as he is.
Going to read the sequel! Keep up the great work!
11292153
Fair warning that the sequel is still very unfinished compared to this, but thank you! I'm always happy to see people still like this story.