In the heart of Equestria, shadows gather and secrets lie buried. A young alicorn named Nyx carries the weight of a dark past, while a relentless adversary seeks revenge that could shatter her resolve. As a deadly game of intentions unfolds, alliances will be tested, and the boundaries of morality blurred. Unveil the enigmatic journey where loyalties waver and a sinister peril looms, threatening to unleash chaos upon an unsuspecting land. 'Black Feather' is a tale of mystery, vengeance, and the choices that define heroes and villains.
Special thanks to Pen Stroke for writing Past Sins and inspiring this story.
Thanks also go to my friends, colleagues, and editors over the years, who helped make this project what it is.
DuvetofReason for helping shape the vision of the universe
Pawz for support and consistency help
BernardDK for inspiration and artwork
OrionWolf for detail coaching in 2016-2018
OnlyaNorthernSong for help with Nyx's characterization way back in 2015-2016
TundraStanza for proofreading
A host of others for a myriad of contributions ranging from painful to awesome but all shaped the story.
Ok this is actually amazing good job 👏 the art was great though Cadence was in the story but not the art? I can't wait to see where this goes.
11657893
Thanks! Yes, it's got a big cast of characters.
Cadence is right here.
camo.fimfiction.net/patG6JzKr_WSg8dUqDzbY8OxH2tvbh-eSmcgRO6r05U?url=https%3A%2F%2Fimages-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com%2Ff%2Fb52974cd-4912-4e27-ad26-0a26ab6a332b%2Fdcya5tt-274bdcc2-2b68-489e-95f7-ca8ae984fae6.jpg%2Fv1%2Ffill%2Fw_1600%2Ch_2264%2Cq_75%2Cstrp%2Fblack_feather___chapter_1___page_17_by_bernarddk_dcya5tt-fullview.jpg%3Ftoken%3DeyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9MjI2NCIsInBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2I1Mjk3NGNkLTQ5MTItNGUyNy1hZDI2LTBhMjZhYjZhMzMyYlwvZGN5YTV0dC0yNzRiZGNjMi0yYjY4LTQ4OWUtOTVmNy1jYThhZTk4NGZhZTYuanBnIiwid2lkdGgiOiI8PTE2MDAifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6aW1hZ2Uub3BlcmF0aW9ucyJdfQ.sUm_uf-HWO83Lnd_FUUDVQjw6Rn0_NRlq5SKkpJ3-5o
Ok though I didn't notice her because she was in the background and the other three were front and center, also thankfully Nyx isn't wearing her glasses that was always something I found kinda vexing because she has perfect eyesight but she just has them on because she's shy I hope she's lost her shyness and isn't the Mary Sue she was before though she did turn her attackers into red vapor so there is hope.
11657904
We agree completely! I'm happy to hear that.
My version of Nyx does away with a fair number of characteristics I found irritating in the original. No offense to Pen, of course. But I agree that it doesn't really fit well with her characterization. I think you'll like this.
yesssss been waiting for this found you through the OG version. and joined the group I know you've been uploading chapters to the group, but I've been waiting for it to be here in fic form just like i did with project horizons
so happy to finally give this a read.
So it begins...
Lovely to see you active again, Recon!
11658336
Thank you. It's good to finally do this. I should have posted it years ago, but there's a long story behind my life circumstances that held it back.
I no longer write in the MLP setting. I've got an independent universe called Equinox that I'm writing in, but I felt the time was right to post the MLP content I've written so people can enjoy it.
11658380
Indeed, I came to know about it through Flurry in Time, which was a gorgeous story in its own right. I believe Black Feather was related to it in some way?
11658391
Yes, they are part of the same universe, about 1700 years apart.
I wonder what surprises the author is preparing for us
Very intereresting, the fact you used Dinky and Rumble with Nyx got my attention, i have a soft spot for foalsand Dinky's my favorite.
And I always found Nyx to be very interesting in idea and very unique too. IN fact, she always got me wondering after i worked together with a friend for his story. Sorry, rambling
very interesting! by the way, loved the art of the first chapter. and i apologize if my rambling was unsettling or anythng
11664356
You're fine. I hope you enjoy the story!
11664359
I always enjoy a good Story with dinky. As to nyx, lets just say, its royal guard Related
Very nice chapter though it always makes me frustrated to see a character who can offer so much kept in the dark I wish Nyx wasn't so dense but I'm intrigued by what Cadence has planned though I'm afraid it will only lead to a future disaster as usual.
11664407
The disaster you refer to has been something my writing team and I have struggled with quite a lot over the years. Originally, it involved time travel, but I dropped that idea. In the original draft, I needed to get rid of that city (and the changelings) in order for the story to be compatible with its parent content. But after a year or two we dropped that but then still had to figure out how to deal with this whole situation because it was already written into the story and it affected one of the main characters quite a lot.
The evolution of this story is very long and complex so I won't go into it here in this post. But yeah, that one thing Cadence mentioned was (originally) my answer to how to fix a sticky problem with the story's compatibility.
As for Nyx... well, she's young and naïve at the start of the story. Such is the beginning for many who take on the Hero's Journey.
11664436
Time travel was my original thought too especially when I read how Nyx was gonna face an opponent who knew her better than she knew herself a past version of the nightmare I thought that has to be it, now I'm not entirely certain curious is what it is. Thankfully Nyx isn't as they say a depressed wallflower or a Mary Sue in this story it seems I interested to see how Dinky and Flitter are going to fit in because I love them oh and Rumble and Nyx are married here correct, that's an interesting idea especially since they are Twelve years old at this point 🤔
11664553
Ahh, the classic confusion of Nyx's age. How does one refer to her age? The first chapter says it has been twelve years since her appearance. But she did not appear as a newborn. She was effectively ten at the time, making her effectively 22 in chapter 1, as seen in the comic.
And there was no way I was going to write her as "a depressed wallflower or a Mary Sue". That's not my Nyx. Although the amount of melodrama here in this version of Black Feather, when I wrote it, is far more than I would give her now. My proper Nyx will be a handful. No woobie. But here in the MLP version, Past Sins is indeed her canon history, so we'll just accept that -- for now. lol
At least every time I have Nyx be a bag of emotions in this version, there's a good reason for it.
Thinking... you know, the way I worded it in Cadence's talk you might as well interpret that as being jumped into the future. Not really "time travel" per se. More like skipping years by vanishing and then, much later, reappearing. There's definitely no backward time travel, but the way it originally worked, they hooked the Crystal Heart up to the artifact and there was an accident.
When they found and tested the artifact prior to the opening of the story, the people testing it vanished for a few hours and reappeared. But hooking it up to the Crystal Heart magnified its power some crazy amount and caused the entire city to vanish. That is fine for the MLP version. I'm okay with it. But in the version I consider official, that won't be the case. More on that later.
Lastly, I've updated the third paragraph of the story's description to reduce confusion on the antagonist. Much has changed in the story's evolution, so that old description doesn't really work here.
nicely done!
11670210
Thanks!
11670521
youre welcome
that was a close call
11676676
You're the fastest reader in the world.
I've only posted the chapter a couple minutes ago.
11676679
well. just was idling, plus 2000 words are not much to read
nice to see Sparkler and what Dusty played, kinda ironic, given what happened
11683001
Sorry, I'm not sure what you mean. Sparkler??
11683004
its the alt name for Amethyst star, i jkust use it as its easier to write and keep in mind for me
11683008
ahh, I see.
So what's your thoughts on the plot so far?
11683013
sure is interesting, with tension rising
Razor sounds like he's gone a bit loopy. Might he be blaming Nyx because someone actually died while she sapped their magic?
11683859
Yeah the zebras don't have good intel on what happened that day.
There's a twist though. His feelings about what happened aren't quite what they seem.
Razor's scene was an idea we came up with just a few days ago. Duvet thought it might be interesting to tie in the assassination attempt with Razor's story arc. I like it. Improves the story a lot and gets the antagonist introduced early.
Love your avatar, by the way!
11684041
Ah, thought he was a pony. Still loopy though.
I'm using that avatar for more than 10 years now. No idea about the artist sadly.
11684422
lol wow you know, I was just asking Duvet a couple days ago if he thought anyone might not realize Razor is a zebra since I don't mention it in his scene.
We thought... nah surely not.
I'm gonna make a small edit to make that clear because I felt this might be a point of confusion.
There, fixed! Thanks for bringing this to my attention.
Is it a remake?
11686621
Hi there.
I started writing a story in 2014 that ended up going through tons of changes for several years and then I got on to other things in life.
Now, about a month ago, I decided to blow the dust off the story and redesign quite a lot of it. This will be very different than that first attempt 9 years ago.
11687414
Nice! I wish you to finish it this time! First, story was interesting! I hope this one will be too!
11687636
I'm curious, when did you read the old story? Was it the one posted here on fimfiction or was it in Google Docs? Do you know what year it was?
11657933
I'm glad to finally post the story for you to read. Thanks for enjoying the story!
Regarding those chapters I posted in the group, there are quite a lot of updates in this final published version. Duvet and I have been pretty busy the last month redesigning a significant portion of the plot! It's going to be great.
Next chapter will be posted in a few hours.
gave me a chuckle with rumble and nice to see Dinky
11687943
Wait, old story? What old story?
11689846
My first story, back in 2015. I've got the chapters hidden at the moment so they don't interfere with people's experience with this vastly rewritten story. When Black Feather is done, I'll put the chapters back up. It was not well written, and it was far too ambitious without a solid plan for how to finish it.
11689860
That be how it was for a lot of Fics back in our day. Not all of them, mind. But a lot of them.
So, Dinky has a peculiar ability, and her father is an enigmatic traveler.
Dinky wouldn't happen to be half timelord, would she?
Random speculation aside, this story is really good. I'm especially curious about Nyx's strange magic burst (for lack of a better term).
11691683
Thanks!! Glad you're enjoying the story!
Yeah Nyx's little outburst was the second symptom of a particular issue all young alicorns have to deal with.
[whistles innocently]
I super adore this chapter for reminding me of my middle years of writing on the site doing slice-of-life Nyx fic which were largely meant to show case Nyx's fillyhood in small innocent self contained stories. It was nice to be brought back to that. I adored the sillyness of Rumble at the start and the long drawn out "ffffrickadilly" from
Apple BloomNyx.In spite of the good times, the foreshadowing did not go unnoticed. I hope this will not be the last time we get a moment of peace before the inevitable typhoon that I suspect is coming. As always, amazing work.
nicely done!
It's good to see that not all zebras are enemies here. This does make me wonder what it's like for them, though. How many Equestrian zebras have families in Arkadia?
11696413
With the shift in power that went on in Arkadia, it's likely that those who fled to Equestria have many family members trapped there, serving the current regime. There are probably small groups of resistance back home, but the Warrior and Religious castes are hunting them relentlessly. Think a mixture of Revolutionary Iran and North Korea and you've got a good picture of life there.
Candy scene with Rumble was fantastic.
11687943
The one in google docs a year ago, though i have a strong feeling that I read something similar about Nyx long ago and it probably was black feather.