What did we do?!
“I just don’t get it, Spike! Why is she mad?!”
“No idea, Eric, but maybe we should leave her alone if she really wants us to.”
“But I gotta know why she’s upset! Maybe we can fix this.”
“Heh, you're sounding more and more like Twilight. You’re going to start making me write checklists for checklists for checklists like she does if you keep this up.”
“Oh, very funny, but enough about how much Twi’s rubbed off on me since I’ve been in Equestria. Let’s just worry about Starie!”
Hey, Eric “Buggie” Reed here.
For reasons I was racking my noggin to figure out, Starlight Glimmer had locked herself in her bedroom in Princess Twilight Sparkle’s crystal castle. About five minutes ago, Applejack tracked down Spike and me and told us that "Starie" had holed herself in her room two hours ago and wanted us to stay away from her for a week. Apparently, Spike and I were “supposed” to know the reason, but neither of us had a clue what it was! What the two of us did know was that we were running to the castle, now nearing its huge gold doors.
To make sure it wouldn’t fly off as I ran like mad, I held on to the brim of my hat, a white one that have a design of Twilight’s, Starlight’s, Pinkie Pie’s, Rarity’s, Rainbow Dash’s, Applejack’s, and Fluttershy’s Cutie Marks; Twilight’s and Starlight’s Cutie Marks were near the top.
But back to our dilemma. Could Spike, I, or both of us have ticked off Starlight by mistake? If so, I needed to find out how we screwed up, so I can say “sorry” and ask how to make up for it!
Once we made it to the castle’s doors, we first stopped to catch our breath, then busted through them and sped into the lobby. Standing near the entrance to the castle’s hallways, Rarity was staring into a small mirror she levitated in her magic, brushing her curly, purple mane with a brush which she also held with magic. This wasn’t the time to even consider joking about how that unicorn loves to “look fabulous”. Which she’s pretty good at, I will say.
We ran up to Rarity and Spike asked, “Rarity! Have you seen Starlight?”
“And do you know why she’s mad at us?” I asked.
Rarity stopped brushing her mane and turned away from her mirror and to Spike and me. “Starlight? I believe she’s in her room, but I am afraid to say that if she is angry at you two, I haven't the faintest idea why. I have been here waiting for Twilight to return to the castle, but I only arrived around five minutes ago.”
“Wonderful, so you don’t know either.” I sighed, looking down towards Spike. “Guess we have to stick to the plan and ask Starie what’s wrong.”
Since Rarity was as clueless about this mess as Spike and me, we ran around her and bolted into the hallway. I’m used to it, but Twilight’s castle is way bigger than it seems on the outside.
Kinda surprisingly, Rarity followed us. “Did you say Starlight is upset with you two? What happened?”
Spike answered, “Applejack said that she wants Eric and me to stay away from her, but we don’t know why!”
“Really? Do you remember doing or saying anything that might have upset her? She is a tad...sensitive.”
I answered, “Uh...I’ve cracked some jokes I guess, but they never upset her before. Besides, I know to not make jokes that might hurt her feelings!”
“And I have no idea what I did!”
“Strange.”
Spike, Rarity, and I kept running down the hallways until we reached Starlight’s closed bedroom door, a brown one. As Applejack said, Starlight indeed locked herself in her room: three light-blue chains were wrapped over the door. A sign saying "Stay away! This means you Eric and Spike!" hung on the doorknob. This was worse than I thought!
Rarity laid a hoof on her cheek at the sight. “Oh, dear. I have seen ponies lock themselves in their rooms before, but not literally."
No time for me to say “me either” because I had serious begging to do. I knocked on a part of the door between the chains and called out, “Starie, it’s Spike and me! Look, Applejack told us to stay away, but we don’t even know what you’re mad about!”
“Yeah, but whatever it was we did, we’re sorry!”
“See? Spike feels the same way, so please, big sis, just talk to us!”
Rarity chimed in, “And the dears do seem sorry for whatever it was they did.”
"No, you have to stay--" Starlight answered, then let out a moan and remained quiet. Oh man, she must really be peeved if she's refusing to listen to apologies, because she's not the type to hold grudges. If you’re actually remorseful over doing something to anger her, that’ll be good enough for Starlight Glimmer to forgive you. Not this time, unfortunately.
Even so, I wasn’t throwing in the towel. I would get this pony to talk if it was the last thing I did, so I knocked on the door again. “Come on, Starlight! Very few ponies I know hold grudges less often than you, so what could we have done that’s so bad? At least tell us how we screwed up!"
The chains on the door broke up and vanished. Starie once promised to never try to hurt me, but my muscles couldn’t resist tensing up and my heart skipped a beat. After a couple of seconds, the door flew open to reveal a purplish pink unicorn. She finally came out!
Yet I couldn’t feel much relief. Something wasn’t right. For starters, a pile of food lay on the floor in her room. As for Starlight herself, I expected her to be scowling, or at least frowning or otherwise showing she was upset.
But she was instead smiling at us, or more so at Spike and me, but it wasn’t...normal. It was a friendly smile. Too friendly. She had her tail raised too, something I’ve never seen her do, but I knew what it meant if a mare raised and kept her tail up.
Oh, buck.
The true nature of this situation hit me like a ton of bricks. No, two tons of bricks and they buried me under them. The reason Spike and I were supposed to keep our distance from this mare became clear. How much of an idiot was I to have forgotten?!
Apparently, as it started happening, Starlight told whoever she saw first -- in this case, Applejack -- to tell Spike and me to not go near her for a week, but must not have explained why, then locked herself in her room as a further safeguard. No idea how she planned to...go while holed up in there, but knowing her, she knew spells for it. Or she just didn't think about it if she was in a panicked state when she went to her room.
Spike faced me and asked, “Wait, Eric, didn’t Starlight say she would go into...heat this week?”
I facepalmed. “Yep. We really goofed up this time by forgetting.”
Rarity gasped. “Oh, that’s right! This is the time of year Starlight said she enters heat. I forgot about it myself.”
Starlight’s smile deepened uncomfortably as she lowered her eyelids by half. She and Twilight have taken the roles of “Equestrian big sisters” to me -- it's why I called Starlight "big sis" a moment ago -- making this even more awkward! Spike was grimacing, so he obviously wasn’t enjoying her gaze either.
I pointed at her and ordered, “Starlight Glimmer, NO! Don’t you look at us like that!”
The good news is that Starlight obeyed my order. The bad news is that she “obeyed” by further deepening her over-friendly smile. Me and my big mouth.
“No, no, that’s not what he meant! Uh, go back to looking at us the way you were!” Spike begged.
Starlight took a step forward and lowered one of her eyelids even more. Crud, she had already used up the willpower she had to resist when she tried to tell us to buzz off before moaning, so maybe we should just shut up.
Rarity said, “Oh, my. This isn’t good. Out of all mares, next to alicorns, unicorn mares have the least control of themselves when in heat and we will take any nearby male that's not a colt, not just stallions. The stronger our natural magic, the more--”
“You’re NOT helping, Rarity!” I shouted. Saying that this wasn't one of Rarity's best moments of giving reassurance would be a colossal understatement. But what she said about alicorns did make me write a mental note to do N-O-T forget to keep away from Twilight Sparkle when it’s her turn to go into heat. That is, if that pony even does, and I actually wouldn’t rule out the chance that she might not do it. All I know for sure about this "part" of her life is that Twi hasn’t entered heat since we met.
Starlight took another step closer to us, knocking me out of thoughts about what I might be in for if I’m around Twilight while she’s in TOO cozy a mood. How can Spike and I get away from Starlight? Fleeing might not work because she could freeze us in her magical telekinesis. Rarity doesn't know teleportation, so she can't teleport us away.
Rarity leaned her head to Spike and me. So glad she cooked up an idea, because I had nothing. Spike and I turned our heads to Rarity and she whispered, “Darlings, on the count of three, run. I will try to slow her down while you two go find either a stallion or Trixie.”
Starlight took another step forward, her smile deepened even more, and hearts appeared in her eyes. The sight even made Rarity gulp. What was taking her so long to start counting?!
"Um, make that two stallions and Trixie."
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Oh my God.
The mountains in this fic aren't just funny, they're hill areas!
First comment!
First view!
First like!
First fav!
buh-dum, tsh
10231789
I can't tell if I hate you or love you for that pun.
10231820
“You wait till three, I’m outta here.”
-Charlie Sheen
I feel like this could’ve been explored a bit more, but it’s funny nonetheless
10231789
happy first-everything! I have to think of a prize maybe.
10231820
My guess is it's the former.
10231837
I could have, but I meant this to end on a mystery note about what happened next.
I'm literally only at this part and already have a guess: that time of the month
Just finished, and let me say: CALLED IT!!
I would not want to be in the room under above or next to hers that night
10232008
Me neither
Buck that noise! Take one for the team, and help a mare out!
You misspelled morning as moaning at one point.
10233853
Do you mean
If so, that's meant to be moaning, since Eric was talking about what Starlight tried to tell him and Spike when they reached her room before she moaned and stopped. I think I know why that didn't sound right, so I edited the line Starlight said before so it should sound better now.
10233870
Oh I misunderstood that than.
10233330
If Rarity's plan fails, they might have no choice but to
10231995
Or in the case of equines in college and high school: Spring Break
Somehow I got the feeling that he's GOING to forget... though somehow I also get the feeling that when Sunset visits during her's, she is not going to tell him.
Anon: It's going to be a LONG week.
Twilight:
10275476
With Sunset being his girlfriend, Eric would be much more willing to be around her while she's in heat.
At least until she starts wearing him out.
10231789
And FIRST BLOOD for lethal use of a pun.
That seems very specific but it’s sad I have to bring up the very real argument that at least she’s not going after colts. I’m not mad though given she basically has no control over herself.
11299699
Fun fact: I wasn't able to fit this in the story, but when any of the mane 6 (in these stories' continuity) start to enter heat, they run off and stay gone until they exit heat, so they wouldn't get any ideas about hitting on their male friends. Twilight, up to this point, hasn't been in heat since Eric was in Equestria, so she hadn't yet needed to take off since Eric's been around.