• Member Since 6th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Jamin P Rose


I write fetish clopfics and other things. Commissions: Not Open, working on existing commissions.

Comments ( 3 )

So did Rarity smell herself on Celestia during the dinner party? Because there was never any mention of affection directed from Celestia to Rarity in the stall. The ending comes out of nowhere if one doesn't assume there was some manner of clue for Rarity that Celestia was the glory hole slut she unloaded into not long before.

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One would think that Celestia's cries of pleasure reaching the level of the Royal Cantelot Voice would be enough to tip off any pony.

This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!

------ Review ------

Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Nice to see Celestia being so perfectly slutty.
-I’m a little bit confused about whether Rarity knew or not.
-Is this a unisex bathroom?
-Pretty hot and nice use of flaring.
-The piss was unexpected, especially since Rarity had just gone before things started?
-This afternoon however, had been very stressful, between the rowdy griffon ambassador and her nephew Prince Blueblood, and Celestia was sorely in need of a break. -- need something stronger than a comma after the 'stressful'. In a lot of places in this story, comma usage is questionable.
-a molted white and gray cock *mottled.
-The mare on the other side of the wall had completely abandoned her dainty moans, grunting and groaning and talking dirty -- would be nice to actually hear some of this dirty talk, rather than just being told it's there.
-The ending will be really amazing for those who have that fetish.

------ Scores ------

To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 87/100
Allure: 70/100
Enticement: 90/100
Immersion: 85/100
Prose Quality: 80/100
Total Score: 412/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.

Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!

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