• Member Since 5th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 21 minutes ago

Rad


Embarassed but present.

E

A croaking beast, likely to be considered of above average size by most that would care to judge such things, has found himself lost in the magical pastel world that we've all come to love and care for. He doesn't seem to have noticed.

Please, take now my hand stand beside me as we watch how this situation develops, for it is sure to be a story full of humor, drama, and dare I say... even perhaps romance?

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 10 )

There's some formatting issues, and you needed at least one more editing pass. For example: on

"Now listen here you--,"

it would usually go "Now listen here, you --". Similarly, there's some capitals out of place, and I recommend reading your dialogue out loud to get the pacing of the speech.

However, when judged solely as a first-posting introduction to the site, this is the best thing I've seen all day. Upvoted.

Rad

10091617
I'll definitely make a another pass through reading things out loud, that's some very helpful advice.

10092965
Welcome to the hypnotoad channel. All hypnotoad, all the time

Comment posted by FiMFanatic deleted Feb 20th, 2020

I love this!!!! :pinkiehappy: I really enjoy what you"ve done! You've painted an interesting tale, with boundless emotion and humor. I enjoyed how you've turned the giant toad into a palpable protagonist. :twilightsheepish: All in all, this is a cute and well written hilarious little tale. I'm already looking up to the next chapter where our lumpy "heroic" toad will go and venture forth into more greener pastures. :rainbowlaugh: Again, great job. :twilightsmile:

Perhaps romance, yes! So be it! So be it!

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