• Member Since 4th Jan, 2020
  • offline last seen February 13th

Fygero


Not an MLP genuine enthusiast, but I enjoy taboo themes in erotica, particularly Foalcon. Hit me up for a commission if you fancy a custom story.

Comments ( 12 )

You need to reed the site's rules regarding this matter which clearly state that no

  • Sexual content involving human/anthro characters under the age of 18.

So you'll need to make changes so that Rose is either older, or not anthro.

Wait, is Roseluck an anthro, or a normal pony? I kinda assumed she was a normal because of the title image.

10019876
Thank you for being a spoilsport to a story who's summery already had ruined it.

Ps: Only whiners nobody ever listens to, resort to quoting the the rules in the comment section instead of using the message system.

Ah, upon reading the author's note, the little mix up with Roseluck became clear. At any rate, this story is awesome! I once tried to start writing a clop fic myself, but quit before I was finished because my writing is so bad. This particular framework is basically what I was trying to write, but actually done properly.

10019969
Hi Random. I've added a note to the story description to be clearer. Was the problem in the text of the story? I hoped to make this super clear in the second paragraph:

A slim anthro mare stood and smiled. “That’s us,” she said, stroking the flank of the filly beside her—she looked maybe ten or twelve. With lush vermillion manes and tails, they were clearly related, notwithstanding the fact the filly was full-blooded pony. “Come on sweetheart. It’s our turn.”

I confess to being new to MLP, so my descriptions may not resonate with the fandom, but is there a better way I could say this?

I suspect I've made this more difficult by choosing the Anthro tag, which perhaps implies all characters are Anthro, but there wasn't a similar Pony tag, so not sure what I should do. I've followed one commenter's advice and added the Human tag to cover Timber Spruce's character. I'm not sure whether that will help or make things worse.

At any rate, this story is awesome!

You're very kind, thank you

To avoid confusion and possibly getting your story taken down, it may be best to just remove all aspects of antro and make all ponies "feral" (no antro aspects).

Or just move the story over to AO3 or the Explicit Pony Fiction Archive. Neither have the weird rule about underage anthro (or even humans). Though, you won't get as many readers there.

I don't know how I feel about this...

Okay first chapter.
Where is the description of the surroundings? I feel like I am in a empty world with 3 characters in an office with chairs and an exam table.
Your description of Celeste and Rose is really good. There is no description of Timber Spruce. What is he wearing for clothes, hair, facial hair, etc? You do not have to include everything. Just paint a picture for the reader to get lost in the world you are creating.

Pony eyes is a shorter and sweeter description of the eyes.

10021063
Personally I really believe to author did an adequate job explaining that Rose is a full blooded Pony. Was the description blatantly obvious? No, the description was bit lacking, yet it was clear what the writer meant. Using words like 'mane, mare, and pony' to describe what species Rose is early in the story.
If Fygero improves in skill when giving out descriptions it will eliminate a lot of confusion.

10021063
I'm going to take a guess and say there's nothing from posting the story to all three places (here, AO3, and Explicit Pony Fiction Archive). Maybe I should do that with my own story... assuming I can find the motivation to finish it.

Frankly my dear, thought Spruce. I don’t give a damn. You can blow me. Har har. Get it? Blow m— JESUS CHRIST!

I don't get it. Is it funny because the "wind" - as in Gone With the Wind" blows?

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