Passing Time

Time has come and gone. Things are no longer the same.

On a rainy day in her Castle in Ponyville, Twilight reflects on days gone by, friendships gained, friendships lost...and ponies she once knew that no longer are there...

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titanhades70

titanhades70 #1 · Sep 20th, 2019 · · ·

This is just wrong without the mention of Starlight, who is as close to Twilight as the other five.

Plus, Twilight kinda gave the castle to her along with the position of head mare.

Telwyn Freecolt

Telwyn Freecolt #2 · Sep 20th, 2019 · · ·

The profile of Twilight so pretty, and such a sad story.

Scorch215

Scorch215 #3 · Sep 21st, 2019 · · ·

not read this yet but the description reminds me of these songs

Mystic Sunrise

Mystic Sunrise #4 · Sep 21st, 2019 · · ·

Meh. This whole idea has been done to death so much that only weak-minded fools still need a kleenex. And the fact that you refused to even mention Starlight killed what little good there was.

Knight of the Raven

Knight of the Raven #5 · Sep 29th, 2019 · · ·

I don't mind Starlight not being mentioned but then again, I do still daydream about what the show could have been if Twilight had remained a unicorn and not become a princess from time to time. Nothing against alicorn!Twilight, or Starlight, I'm just interested in what might have been.

And Starlight bent time to her will, then was willing to rip it in half instead when she didn't get her way. It's only fitting that time found a way to make Twilight forget her beloved first student altogether...

I loved the narration in this, from start to finish. And it was a great start to boot, hooking me from the second paragraph. Moreover, I usually dislike it when there are many present participles in a story; but not here. I even feel it helped enhance the slow, calm and melancholic rhythm of both the narration and the story.

My only issues with said narration would be the repeat of "any pony or creature" as soon as the next paragraph after "ponies or creatures" was used, and Twilight's reflection on Applejack being so short; only three lines while the others had at least five, and Rainbow in particular had two paragraphs devoted to her. It almost makes her look like an afterthought, something that isn't helped by being the last one Twilight thinks about.

Some hyphens were missing here and there as well;

She could be quite the drama queen, and perhaps a bit stuck up too

stuck-up

As I gaze with tear filled longing at the pictures on the walls

tear-filled

The only other mistake I found was a forgotten 'to' in "Time will continue pass." The rest was pleasantly free of typos and wrong tenses.

And these are the parts I liked most;

Time.
Time is a constant thing. It flows steadily onwards. In reality, it never slows, it never speeds up, and it never stops. It never waits. It takes its unending toll without mercy, without regret, without favouritism. Time can be manipulated, but it can never be stopped.

These are the thoughts whirling in my mind as I set my hoof gently across the threshold of my old castle in Ponyville. Time has invaded here as well. The layer of dust on the floor, the lightly frayed edges of the canvas art on the walls, the presence of countless spiderwebs hanging from the corners...all give silent testimony to the fact that time has left its mark.

I move further inside, gently closing the door behind me, and I stand silent, looking about me. My heart clenches almost painfully as I remind myself I need not watch out for unexpected missiles or random explosions.
Not anymore.

It made sense she would be the last.

I still treasured the words of that promise, and even with the original creator of it gone, those words were still sacred.

My gaze drifts back to the image of Rainbow. She had managed to make the worst, then the best, first impression possible. She was brash, and stubborn, with an ego that demanded to be punched sometimes, but deep down her heart was good.

Time. That word again. As I gaze with tear filled longing at the pictures on the walls, I feel an overwhelming sense of sudden gratitude. Gratitude because here, within the confines of these walls, preserved lovingly and carefully, these moments in time are captured, and those within these moments will stay as they are, youthful, exuberant, alive. Time will continue pass, but these will forever remain the same...untouched and unchanged.

As I lift off, and fly away from here, I know that when next I return, that room will be as I now leave it: quiet, and with no destructive touch of time. And I also know, that though all are gone, the spirits of those in those photographs will live on, forever, in me.

Untouched and unchanged by time.

Finally, I'll mention that I started playing Final Fantasy X's Someday the Dream will End upon beginning to read this. Really sets the mood.

SamSwordsman123

SamSwordsman123 #6 · Dec 25th, 2019 · 1 · ·

True they will live in her hearts. Just as my dogs, mother and grandparents who have passed lived in mine. But I would choose to give up immortality if I could to be with them. I dont want to live forever. I made a couple fics like this myself.

Telly Vision

Telly Vision #7 · Jan 21st, 2020 · · ·

9843127

And What about Spike? Arguably Twilights first friend, and just as ageless as she is, why do all these Twilight is alone stories always forget poor spike.

Comment posted by titanhades70 deleted Jan 21st, 2020

protator

protator #9 · Aug 28th, 2022 · · ·

I'll refrain from typing out the complete 'sad immortal Twilycorn sob genre' rant that's going off in my head right now, so I'll just say that this story added no new ideas or new spins on old ones. 1500 words of 'same old' isn't enough to get the response you were obviously hoping for.
So, sorry dear author, but I needed exactly zero Kleenex.
I suggest you read "Spark" by AVeryStrange . The epilogue "To Be An Alicorn" works perfectly as a stand-alone short. That chapter broke me.

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