How Is Your Life So Crazy?

by Cereal-Killer

You Literally Don't Even Notice it!

Stopping under a streetlight, you looked to your girlfriend. You shook your head, still recovering from those mesmerising tones that had entranced you earlier. Whatever had happened, they had done a number on you. Sunset had fished you out of the crowd along with her friends, and the two of you were enjoying the walk back home from the stadium.

Breathing in the cold air, you tried probing for answers. "So can we talk about earlier?"

"What about it?" Sunset asks innocently, prompting an eye twitch from you.

"You literally just faced off against Sirens. Mythical creatures from Greek mythology and you genuinely don't care."

She shook her head. 'Well, actually they're from Equestrian history but go on."

"See! You're more interested in correcting me than the problem at hand." You put a hand on hers. "Please, Sunset, babe. Just work with me on this." She rose a brow on confusion.

"Joe, I really dont see how this is new to you. I literally told you how I turned into a she-demon at the prom a couple weeks ago."

"I thought it was a figure of speech! You made it sound like you were just being a real bitch at the time, not that you actually used eldritch sorcery to morph yourself into a winged monster!" You were panicking a bit.

She put her hands on her hips."Hey, that's sorta true, but theres no need for that kinda language. Look we'll go to my apartment, order some take-out and then watch a movie or something and we can forget all about this."

You huffed, almost giving into her insanity. This girl was a living breathing movie character. She had dealt with the kind of stuff you'd expect the military would be fighting off and was entirely under the impression that it was normal. "No Sunset, we need to talk about this, you're acting crazy."

"I'm acting crazy? You're the one who won't just calm down and enjoy a quiet night in with your girlfriend!"

"How do I know you're not going to just turn back into a demon again?" She gasped at the accusation. "You could literally just turn back into one and then devour my soul on the spot. I can't deal with that kind of stress, Sunny."

"I'm a different mare- I mean, shit... a different woman now." Her eyes darted around as she stumbled over her words.

"Mare? What else are you hiding?" You took a step back from her. "Are you an alien!?"

"No, I'm only from another dimension." She said, entirely nonchalant. You massaged your temples, trying to calm down to little effect.

"ONLY FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION!?" You laughed. "Oh, that's cool. You're only from another dimension. Completely fine. So how long were you planning on keeping this from me?"

A couple of barks from one of the houses lining the street had alerted you to your volume. The two of you bickering had most likely woken up anyone in the neighbouring area.

Sunset lowered her volume, more conscious of the surrounding houses than before. "Longer than I already have, considering the reaction you're giving me."

You paused, digesting the information bombs that Sunset had just dropped on you. "Phew, ok. So for one: You're basically a superhero." She nodded. "Before that, you turned into an evil demon, decked out with horns, wings and tail to match." Sunset nodded once again. "But not only that, you also come from a different dimension."

"Yeah that about sums it up." Her eyes widened in remembrance. "Oh and in the alternate universe I was actually a unicorn."

"What the actual fuck, Sunset? You're a horse?"

"Well the term is actually pony, and calling me a horse is actually extremely insulting, but I'll let you off since you didn't know." Her correction only served to escalate the situation.

"That's really not the point here. The point is you have been lying to me since day one. I refuse to be in a relationship without honesty." You crossed your arms defensively.

Angrily, Sunset stomped her foot on the pavement. "Fine, I guess you're gonna go talk to Applejack instead then? Or are you just gonna go through all of my friends until one of them says yes? Not that they would, obviously, but I wouldn't put it beneath you to try it." She spat heatedly.

Flabbergasted, you retorted. "I literally wasn't even going to. If you act like this, then clearly your friends can't be that much better. Also, are you still mad at me for looking at Applejack's ass that one time?"

"Yes!" She huffed angrily.

"Well, sooooorry, princess, I- you aren't some kind of princess are you?" You said, only half-serious.

"Nope." She replied.

You let out a sigh of relief. "Well at least there's that."

"Twilight is though." And back to square one.

"Are you actually fucking kidding me?" that weird girl who was making those horse noises was actually a magical pony princess? You thought she was just one of those weird girls that were way too into horses as a kid and never really grew out of it.

"Nope. I'm telling the absolute truth right now." You couldn't fault her for that at least. "I'm actually technically a criminal if anything." She chuckled nervously.

"I don't even know what to think about you anymore..."

"This is quite a lot to take in, isn't it?"

Sighing, you take a hold of Sunset's hand again. "I-I'm really sorry Sunset but I'm not sure that I can really be there for you, you've got this insane out-of-this-world life that I just don't think I can keep up with."

She held onto your hand a bit tighter. "Can we just go back to my place? Please. We can just forget this ever happened, I'll be honest with you now, I've got nothing else to hide."

You pulled your hand away from hers reluctantly. "I really hope you find someone who can cope with all of the stuff you're dealing with but I really don't think I'm the one. I'm sorry, Sunset."

Stunned in silence, she watches as you walk off into the dark, unsure of whether you made the right decision or not.

Comments

[The Blue EM2]

Is there a contest going on? This is the second Sunset shipping story uploaded within the space of 15 minutes.

[Cereal-Killer]

9833642 Yeah, check the link in the description of the story.

Also it's the last day to submit stories for it, so all the lazy buggers latecomers like me will be dropping them today.

[The Blue EM2]

9833654
Cheers.

[RB_]

Get commented on.

This was... okay. It's an interesting idea, to be sure—but it feels underdeveloped here, particularly when going for the more dramatic ending as you are. One thousand words just isn't enough to build the kind of investment you need to pull this off. You also aren't doing yourself any favours with second person on that front. I'd also recommend working on your tell-y-ness in prose.

Still, I chuckled. Good luck in the judging.

[Cereal-Killer]

9833686
Get replied to.

Thanks for your criticism and such. This story was super rushed, so next time I try doing a contest thing like this, I won't start writing it on the due date.

[redandready45]

"ONLY FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION!?" You laughed. "Oh, that's cool. You're only from another dimension. Completely fine. So how long were you planning on keeping this from me?"

I laughed at this.

I think this is how a normal person might react to Sunset's crazy existence.

Only problem is that it is too short, and that I wish there had been more...buildup to this moment.

[twience]

This got a few chuckles outta me :)

[CapNTilfy]

I got a smile out of this, but I feel bad for Sunset.

[FanOfMostEverything]

"I thought it was a figure of speech! You made it sound like you were just being a real bitch at the time, not that you actually used eldritch sorcery to morph yourself into a winged monster!" You were panicking a bit.

"Joe, there are literally dozens of videos of it on YouTube."
"I thought that was special effects!"
"And the ears and hair growth when the Rainbooms play?"
"Um... Wires?"
"Joe, have you been paying the slightest bit of attention to me when I tell you things, or were you just staring at my weird, engorged chest-teats?"
"... Have you always called them that?"

"That's really not the point here. The pont is you have been lying to me since day one. I refuse to be in a relationship without honesty." You crossed your arms defensively.

"Would you have believed a word of it?"
"Don't try to make yourself into the victim here, Sunset."
"You're right. It's not fair to mock someone so far up his own rear end that his spine is a spiral."

Yeah, I don't know what she sees in him. And honestly, if he can't accept you at your most bizarre, he doesn't deserve you when you're normal.

Best of luck in the judging!

[Posh]

"You literally just faced off against Sirens. Mythical creatures from Greek mythology and you genuinely don't care." She shook her head.

'Well, actually they're from Equestrian history but go on."

The positioning of the dialogue tag here threw me off; I wasn't sure who I was reading.

The premise is silly, but intentionally so; I actually enjoy the idea of Pony Joe as a side-piece to Sunset, just completely oblivious to all the goings-on at CHS. Maybe even to Sunset's persona as Baddest of the Bad Girls.

I don't see how second-person helps the story at all, though. In fact, I think it hurts more than it helps. If this was "Anon in Not-Equestria," then... well, then it would have another set of issues, but at least second-person would be more justifiable. Pony Joe is an established character with a personality, though, so putting the reader in his shoes doesn't help.

I'd recommend changing the perspective to third person, and doing more to solidify Pony Joe as an actual character, rather than a vessel for the reader.

[Cereal-Killer]

9836710
Yeah, I figured the second person wasn't as good as I thought it would be back when I wrote this. I already submitted, so I wasn't sure if I was even allowed to change it.

[Shortmane]

I promised a comment, and here I am!
The second person threw me off, I'll say that (this is like the only fandom where I've seen so much second person, and it's never quite worked). The premise is good, and having a straight man interacting with the craziness of EQG has some good laughs.
Even so, it was a bit too over the top for my personal liking, although I think that was the point.
The breakup didn't have any emotional impact, but I'm not sure if it was supposed to. Probably would have been better to go full out and ham it up!
Either way, fun read!

[mycarhasaMoustache]

What? It just ends. like that. Why does this even have a romance tag when nothing about it is romantic.

I enjoyed the story but this feels like a prequel to another story.