Sometimes we choose who we fall in love with, sometimes life chooses for us. Minuette and Limestone Pie find themselves coming to grips with the latter.
Note: This takes place after the series finale. More specifically, after Twilight's coronation, but before the time skip, so expect a few spoilers. Also features Lyra, Sweetie Drops (or Bonbon), Moondancer, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, Cloudy Quartz, September (y'know, the comic background cameo from Fringe), and doubtless many more in the future the way things are going. I even plan on big things happening for and to some of them.
Credit for the art goes to a great friend of mine, Uma, or @UmaYorokobi on Twitter. If you like the new cover art and maybe wanna support the artist (please do), go check out her stuff. She doesn't do a ton of pony stuff, but she's a huge Wander Over Yonder fan, so if that's your thing, definitely check it out.
Ohmygosh I hope this is as good as it ought to be!
I've never seen this pairing before (there's one with Minuette x Marble and Lemon Hearts x Limestone, but that's the closest I've encountered to it), and I really like both characters, especially Limestone, so I'll be keeping a close eye on this!
I really like the idea for the story, that they're both kind of hijacked from their lives by the Choosing Stone. I think maybe it might have been better to keep the first kiss for a later chapter - that felt like the story was moving a bit fast to me. And I like how you're writing them both, particularly Minuette's dialogue.
Sorry, I'd have put Minuette's last sentence on a line of its own here, not straight after Limestone's bit. Normally the rule is one speaker per paragraph, so when you go to the next paragraph, the presumption is that it'll be the next person speaking. So you've got to make it doubly clear when it's still the same person. And here, Limestone's actions function as an action tag, which further suggests the "Well, if you're not up for it," comes from her
Thanks for writing this, hope you feel like writing more of it soon!
Lots of nice character building here! I particularly like the background for Twinkleshine, I can't think of another story that's given her much history beyond being Minuette's friend. And the Pinkie Pie scene here was stuffed with great moments!
I'm relieved by the turn of events at the end of this chapter, that they decide to go for a date two weeks away and keep it fairly cool. That feels much more balanced than them rushing into it, but I do like the insecurity of them both kind of feeling the pressure that they're going to end up together whatever happens so figure denying it would be foolish.
This was my favourite moment of the chapter. Lots of nice stuff here, the midnight get together for news seems the sort of thing that group would do, and I liked the kind of disconnect with Twilight there, like they all liked her they just didn't know her as well. After all the debate, I'm intrigued to see where Limestone chooses for a date. If it's Canterlot, my fingers are crossed for the Tasty Treat.
I liked Moondancer's bit here the most, she's being underconfident without falling to pieces, and handling it in a pragmatic way. Nice callback to the library fumigation
The only thing I noticed is that in the fourth paragraph it says Midnight Chocolate, rather than Midnight Donut as it was in the chapter before. Not sure if that's intentional?
10385156
Thanks, that was unintentional, but it was the original term of the thing I'm referencing through Midnight Donut, I think I mentioned it in one of the footers. It's a sort of small homage to a series of lesbian romance novels I fell in love with. Expect a lot of small obscure references not everyone will get, cuz I'm in way too many fandoms (at least in the sense of watching the shows and plays, listening to the podcasts, and reading the books).
10387406 Ah, I thought it might be that, thanks!
Ok, I am all caught up! Good to see the date went well, and that the side characters are progressing quietly. Can't say I'm so taken with Sunset and her role in the story, but hopefully we'll be back to Limestone soon. Thanks for writing!
10396253
Thanks for commenting, it's so encouraging to have someone leave comments on my story, let alone provide genuine feedback and thoughts on the chapter in question. At this point, I feel like I look forward to your responses as much as anyone reading looks forward to the next chapter. Don't worry, Sunset has a bigger role. Expect more Limestone in the next chapter, I haven't forgotten her. I assure you, there's a boring writing explanation for all of this!
10401809 You're welcome! It's heartbreaking no one else has commented, it's such an unusual pairing but just the suggestion of the two of them together conjures up all sorts of scenarios as they're big personalities. Ah I meant the reverse concern with Sunset, I'm really not a fan of her! But she's worth it for Limestone
More Limestone in the next chapter sounds like the best thing the next chapter could have.
How're you feeling about/doing with this story after the time away from it? Like, back into the swing of things, or more that the pace is slowing?
10420251
It's slower going, for sure. I'm not putting as much stress on myself, and in line with the pandemic situation, a lot more time has been spent at home with all my distractions. Still, I write a bit whenever I have time, then next time look over what I've written and edit a bit with fresh eyes and write a bit more. It's not the most glamorous approach, but I don't have an editor right now, and it's part of my process anyway. Things are going smoothly, if not quickly. In between all that, as always, is everything else, after all.
This was great! And nice and swift to arrive
I misread this at first, mistaking the word hospitality for hostility. And I thought, yes, of all ponies, Limestone would be the one to have a level of hostility she considered proper
I think you might want to adjust 'Limestone knew' here to 'Limestone must have known.' The latter is Marble's observation, but the former is Limestone's thoughts, and the only way the text could know that for sure is if it's Limestone's POV. So, particularly as the opening paragraph of a scene, when the reader is still trying to work out who's POV we're seeing, this can be jarring.
Nopony gets magnificent scene entrances in fan fiction like Starlight does. This is so her.
You might want to swap out the -------- breaks for fimfiction's horizontal rule, as I imagine it resizes better across different devices?
This chapter was fun! And having human Sunset rather than her Equestrian counterpart makes a nice change to the norm and a much more interesting potential journey. Thanks for writing.
10430432
With the "Limestone knew" part, I was going for more of a thing where they have that kind of connection where Marble does know for a fact that Limestone is intimately familiar with her social cues, but I see how that can be confusing from a reader POV, so I went ahead and changed that.
As for the -------- breaks, they're sort of a thing I've been using to some extent from my first fic here. They may not be the most elegant or aesthetically pleasing, but there's a certain charm to them for me. I can switch over to horizontal rule for future fics, but I kinda wanna keep my breaks as is until I finish this at least for oddly sentimental reasons. That said, I don't really understand how the horizontal rule works, mostly I just write in Google Docs, copy/paste here when the new chapter's ready, and go through a last time on the site to make sure the indents are correct and nothing's misspelled and I didn't repeat the same word choice in two sentences back to back unintentionally when I can think of a better alternative.
And yeah, I just kinda thought that there's two main cast members whose human counterparts never get a chance to shine in EQG, Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer. Maybe Starlight's human counterpart will get her chance eventually, but I think I'll keep that card in my back pocket for now. Honestly it's exciting just thinking about what human Starlight's up to, wherever she is. Though, to be fair, there's actually a fairly broad cast that falls under the category The Humans Hasbro Forgot (TM) if you consider all the villains and movie characters and the Student Six, and well, any side character or background who hasn't had any screen time. It's free real estate, I say, and a waste not to put it to use.
All of the main pieces and plots are in place.
I really love how unapologetic this story is about Limestone being hot, butch lesbian eye-candy
Objectifying the immovable object, so to speak.
Big chapter! Glad Marble won't be alone. Looking forward to seeing more of Limestone soon
Really enjoyed the story so far. Hope you still plan on continuing it.
11233739
I do intend on continuing it, but a lot has been going on in my life since I last posted, and I haven't really been able to focus on writing. I haven't marked this series cancelled yet, and I already have some of the future chapters started, the plan from the last chapter on was to split the story into several different fics each focusing on different pairings and perspectives, while this one continues on with Minuette and Limestone, which is, admittedly, a bit overly ambitious (*cough cough* 8 fics, not including this one), so, yeah, got most the planning and outline, timelines, etc. done for those, just gotta find time to sit down and write some chapters.