Crazy Taxi: Pony Edition

by The card holder

Royally fast

Another day, another set of politics to work through. As the leader of all of Equestria, Celestia expects this, but it doesn't change the fact that it bores her after a while. At least this time it's in San Franciscolt, so she could enjoy her sun at its most pleasant; that is, if she found any free time.

"Princess Celestia? Are you okay?"

The princess snapped out of her internal reflection. Her prized student, Twilight Sparkle, had accompanied her on the trip, thankfully breaking up some of the monotony of the trip. "Yes, Twilight, I'm fine. I'm just thinking."

The purple unicorn didn't push the issue as she sat back in her seat. A few members of the Royal Guard were driving her and the princess there in her personal transport vehicle (Pinkie had said that it looked like the "Popemobile", whatever that was). Although Celestia hadn't said anything, she personally thought it was a bit too grandiose of a car. For once, she would like to arrive somewhere in the same kind of transportation that other ponies arrive in.

As if fate itself (or perhaps an author with nothing better to do) was listening, the car suddenly ground to a stop with a sickening grinding noise, shaking both Celestia and Twilight out of their thinking. "Wait, what happened? Why are we stopped?" Twilight was already becoming nervous that they would be late. Celestia, however, was much more calm. She leaned out the window to speak with the driver about the sudden stop.

"Is there a problem?"

The driver looked back to the princess. "Uhh.... Well, y-your highness, we seem to have broken down. I-I'm no expert, but it could take a few days to fix this."

Wordlessly, Celestia gets out of the car. She wanted to see what was wrong with the car, as well as have a chance to stretch her legs. Twilight followed behind her, frantically checking her schedule to see how this delay could be fixed. Heading to the front of the car, Celestia raised the hood, getting a face full of steam. Coughing, she beats her wings once to clear the air around her. She looks into the engine, and, after much study and deduction, came to a rousing conclusion:

She had no clue as to what she was doing.

After figuring that out, the princess decided that her and Twilight would get to the capitol building through other means while the guards fixed the car. Naturally, Twilight was freaking out.

"What if we don't make it in time? What if we get lost?! What if-"

To save the sanity of both her student and herself, Celestia cut her off. "Relax, Twilight. I'm sure we can get there somehow."

The unicorn suddenly looked up. "Wait, couldn't you just teleport us there, Princess?"

"Well, I could, but the journey is half the fun!" In reality, Celestia just wanted to put off the politics for as long as possible. Still, there was some truth to her words. The two walked down the sidewalk, the alicorn receiving several stares, followed by several hasty bows. The princess ignored most of them, simply wishing that, for once, she could be treated like any other pony.

Looking towards the street, Celestia got an idea for getting to the capitol building. "Twilight, what do you say we hail a cab?"

"What?! But- But you're a princess! What would people think if you-"

"Oh, what's the harm in it, Twilight?" Ignoring her student's protests, the princess calls for a taxi. Shortly after, an old-fashioned cab drives up, being driven by a middle-aged stallion wearing a tropical shirt. His brown mane was balding, revealing his orange coat on top of his head. Celestia goes ahead and gets in, Twilight reluctantly following her.

"Take us to the capitol building, please," the princess asks.

"Okay," the driver responds, his voice deep and aged. "Better hold on."

Before either of the passengers could ask what he meant by that, the car took off just as the radio started playing a fast-paced song. The ride sends the passengers sliding across the back seat, surprising both of them. Twilight starts hyperventilating. How could somepony treat the princess like this, with such reckless driving?

Celestia, on the other hand, was having fun. Indeed, the driver didn't seem to care that royalty was in the back seat, and she loved it. She was being treated like any other pony would be; this was exactly what she wanted.

As the taxi drifted around street corners and had near misses with other traffic, Celestia started actually screaming with glee, while Twilight screamed in terror. The cab zoomed on at insane speeds, occasionally scraping buildings and other cars. This was the most fun that the immortal alicorn had in a long, long time. Twilight, meanwhile, had simply closed her eyes, waiting for the nightmare of a ride to end.

In the distance, Celestia could see the capitol building approaching. Her spirits fell a bit, because she knew that the ride was almost over. Still, she screamed with delight as the cab rocketed up steep hills and around sharp corners. All too soon, the ride stops, and Celestia gets out. When Twilight doesn't move, the princess lifts her out of the cab with her magic. She takes out a random amount of bits and put it into the backseat, and the cab drives off. Reluctantly, Celestia looks to the capitol, where all kinds of politics will take place. She's about to walk inside, but she almost trips over Twilight's cowering form. Chuckling, the princess picks up her student and brings her inside with her, ready to face the boredom of politics.

---

Later that evening, Luna had been brought in from Canterlot, as well. She stood next to Celestia as the two dealt with all kinds of political issues.

After all was said and done, Celestia went outside to get some fresh air. Once there, she saw Luna standing alone, looking sad about something.

"What's wrong, sister?"

"Oh, it's nothing, 'Tia..." Her face said otherwise.

"Luna..."

The younger sister sighed. "Fine... It's just that, even after I've been here for a few years, everypony still acts scared of me, like I'm going to throw the world into eternal night again at any moment..." A single tear dropped out of her eye.

Celestia was sad for her sister. If only there was a way to cheer her up...

Suddenly, an idea hit Celestia. "I know how to make her feel better..."

"...R-Really? How?"

Instead of answering her sister, Celestia turned to the street and raised a hoof.

"Taxi!"

Comments

[The card holder]

I'm calling it for Mann vs. Machine

CALLED IT. This is gonna be sweet.

Anyway, yeah. That's it. This was an idea born of sheer boredom. And those four loosely-connected stories were the result.

[Perception Filter]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[Deactivated 001]

Luna is about to have the ride of her life!

[SuperPinkBrony12]

1087834 Let's see what she'll think of those crazy taxis!

[zsewqthewolf]

oh i want bonbon and lyra to be next that be so funny as hell

[RoyalUnicornJohn1994]

HECK YEAH! Another master piece from the card holder.
Hey, hey, hey! That was craaazy, buddy!
Next one? HERE. WE. GO!

[Lancia Delta S4]

This is great stuff. Small F.Y.I, the Youtube account for the music in the fourth chapter got busted for something.
Years ago, I blew five bucks in quarters playing this game at some arcade. I got in so much trouble for it, and I still don't regret it.

[The Pyropath]

This was awesome, and extremely underrated! Would you mind if I borrowed this idea? I was thinking of making a Crazy Taxi crossover, cause why not, but made sure to check if someone did it first. I've been pleasantly surprised, and have a few ideas, especially with all these years that have passed for FiM's plot to develop more!

[The card holder]

7677387
As long as your story has an actual plot going on instead of this wank of a story, then sure, go ahead.

[The Pyropath]

7677842 Aw, don't put yourself down too hard. At least each chapter was semi-connected!