• Published 4th Aug 2012
  • 2,184 Views, 33 Comments

Crazy Taxi: Pony Edition - The card holder



Ever play Crazy Taxi? It's pretty much that, but with ponies.

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Here we go!

Rarity was not having a good day.

She had been invited to the city of San Franciscolt to attend a formal event, where she would show off the dresses she made. She was hoping that it would be like the time she went to Canterlot, and that her boutique's reputation would skyrocket more.

So, naturally, fate saw fit to screw her over. For whatever reason, the hotel she was staying at forgot to give her a wake-up call at 7:00 A.M. The event was at noon. It was currently 11:50. Looking at her map of the city, she realized that, even if she ran as hard as she could, it would take about thirty minutes to get to the other side of town, where the event was being held.

Wearing her saddlebags, and holding all of her dresses with her magic, she sprints down the side of the street, hoping that she could somehow make it in time. When her strength gave out, she looked into the street as cars drove to wherever they were going. She didn't want to do it, if she didn't have to, but the white unicorn now sees that there's no other way she'll make it to the event in time. Swallowing her pride, she raises her hoof and calls out:

"Taxi!"

After a few seconds of waving, a cab pulled up to the sidewalk. But before Rarity could get in, there was a loud screeching of tires, followed by the taxi getting sent flying across the road. Rarity dove for cover, dropping her dresses in the process. When she got back up, she saw a different taxi sloppily parked on the sidewalk. This one was convertible, and looked a bit faster than the other one. The driver was an earth pony stallion wearing a tropical shirt. His coat was a light brown, and his mane was shortly cut and bright green.

Rarity composed herself and retrieved her dresses. "You nearly killed me!"

"You're okay, get in!" the cabbie responded in his slightly accented voice. Rarity thought over her options quickly. Between being late for the event and riding with this maniac, she saw the lesser of two bad things.

Setting her dresses in the back seat, she jumps inside. "Take me to the design studio across town!"

"Okay, but don't freak out on me!" The driver hits the radio with his hoof, then shifts the car into gear. Just as the car starts moving, a fast-paced song began blaring from the speakers. Rarity would have possibly recognized it as something that Rainbow Dash would listen to, but she was too busy screaming in terror to think. The driver didn't seem to care for any traffic laws of any kind. He would drive all over the road, passing as close as possible to other cars. He'd even drive on the sidewalk, causing ponies to scream while jumping out of the way. Rarity had to hold the dresses inside the car with her magic, due to the erratic driving. As they slid around a street corner, Rarity tried to look at her map.

"Go straight!" she directed the insane driver.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," he responded while barely missing oncoming traffic. Rarity had never been so terrified in all her life. A couple of times, the taxi would barely scrape against other cars, jostling both the driver and passenger. It took all of Rarity's concentration to not faint, while still holding onto her dresses. Soon, as the driver rounded another corner, knocking wooden boxes everywhere, Rarity saw that the drawbridge ahead was up. Even with the maniac in the driver's seat, she still felt that she wouldn't make it in time. She shouldn't have been surprised when they didn't slow down.

"What are you doing?! Don't you see the bridge is up!?"

"Just shut up, and let's roll!" He gunned the accelerator, heading straight for the raised bridge. Rarity's pupils shrank to pin pricks. Before she knew what was happening, they were in the air. Rarity screamed loudly on the whole way to the ground. As they hit the road again, Rarity nearly fell out of the car. Only her death grip on the door kept her from going flying. The cabbie drove straight through a park, causing more ponies to jump clear of the car. Rarity never stopped screaming, but the driver never seemed to pay her any mind. After what seemed like forever to the white unicorn, she spotted the studio where she would present her dresses to the ponies that hold the future of her career in their hooves. The cabbie spins the car almost completely around, stopping just in front of the building. The moment the car stops, she scrambles out, dresses in tow. She almost forgets to pay the cab driver, but she simply tosses a large amount of her bits into the back seat, not bothering to count. The stallion seems alright with this, as he immediately peels out, no doubt to find another customer. Now on solid, non-moving ground, Rarity started to calm down. Taking out a mirror, she looked at herself.

She was a wreck. She looked like she was just scared witless (which she was), and her normally well-kept mane seemed to go all over the place. Looking at a nearby clock, she sees that it's about 11:52.

She blinked from surprise. Had that nightmare of a trip really been that short? Doing her best to make herself presentable, Rarity begins to head inside. Despite the... method of that stallion's driving, she was happy with the results. But the next time she saw that cab, she was going to scream and run the other way. Still, she had dresses to show off now.


Rarity couldn't be happier. They liked her dresses! She was going to be a famous name in San Franciscolt!

As she left the studio, she realized that she would need a ride back to the hotel. She was about to call for another taxi, but the one that brought her here suddenly came into view, carrying another passenger. This one seemed thrilled, of all things, by the reckless driving. As the cab zoomed by, Rarity thought to herself.

"On second thought, maybe I'll just take the bus."