"Yaks Have Concerns"

by Coyotek4

"Headmare Twilight can see you now."

Spike escorts Prince Rutherford of Yakyakistan into Twilight’s office. The headmare rises from behind her desk and walks to the center of the room. “Thank you Spike,” she says as he nods and departs. Her horn emits a glow as a chair is levitated towards their position.

“Prince Rutherford, how nice of you to visit. Please, have a seat.”

Rutherford promptly leaps onto the chair and smashes it to bits, sending shrapnel flying across the room.

Twilight maintains a warm smile as she dusts off splinters from her mane. “So, what can I do for you today?”

“YAKS HAVE CONCERNS REGARDING FRIENDSHIP EDUCATION OF YONA,” Rutherford bluntly states.

“Well, hopefully I can put your concerns to rest today,” Twilight says as she walks around her desk and takes a seat. “Where would you like to begin?”

“YAKS NOT LIKE THAT YONA ATTACKED AT FORMER PRINCESS CASTLE. YONA YOUNG. YONA NOT READY FOR BATTLE.”

Twilight responds congenially but firmly. “As we have informed you and our other esteemed dignitaries, none of our students were harmed in any way. It is our top priority … my top priority … to ensure that all students, ponies and non-ponies, receive a top-notch education in friendship, in a safe and secure environment. I hope that answer is to your satisfaction.”

Rutherford grunts in acceptance.

“Now, is there anything else you wish to discuss?”

“EXPLAIN FIELD TRIP WITH BLUE AND ORANGE TEACHER-PONIES.”

A bead of sweat forms upon Twilight’s forehead. “Ah yes, the one organized by Applejack and Rainbow Dash, two of our most renowned educators at—”

“YONA ALMOST DROWN!!!”

Twilight’s eyes dart this way and that. “Yes … well … AJ and Rainbow did fill me in on the details at a later time. I can tell you that disciplinary actions were taken against those two, and I assure you that future excursions will—”

“HOW NEGLIGENT TEACHER-PONIES DISCIPLINED?”

“Well … the truth is, the students thought that their actions were deserving of the ‘teacher of the month’ award. But that was before I learned—”

“YOU REWARD NEGLIGENT TEACHER-PONIES???”

Rutherford lowers his head and, using his horns, flips Twilight’s desk upside-down, scattering papers around the area. He proceeds to smash the desk to bits as Twilight backs away, fear creeping in to her demeanor.

“Prince Rutherford, AJ and Rainbow did apologize profusely to the students, and to Yona in particular, for the *ahem* unfortunate circumstances that happened as a result of their actions. But you are correct in calling me out on not informing Yakyakistan sooner; I should have been more forthcoming of this information. I humbly ask for your forgiveness.”

Twilight bows, still standing behind the broken bits of timber that once was her desk. Rutherford grumbles for a minute.

“YAKS CAN … FORGIVE … FOR PONY NEGLIGENCE, AS YONA UNHARMED FROM FIELD TRIP.”

Twilight breathes a sigh of relief. “I thank you, Prince Rutherford, for your understanding. I’m glad we were able to come to a consensus here, and if there is no further—”

“EXPLAIN SUBSTITUTES!”

The fresh question catches Twilight off-guard. “I’m sorry, you mean—”

“YONA LEARN ASSERTIVENESS TRAINING FROM MINOTAUR. YAKS NOT PLEASED WITH MINOTAUR METHODS OF FRIENDSHIP.”

“Ah yes, that, er, unfortunate set of teachers. I can assure you that we in no way condone the advice given by Iron Will’s lecture. The party responsible for that hiring decision no longer has an active role in the decision-making processes of this school.”

“EXPLAIN EXERCISE.”

Rutherford’s terse question causes further shivering from Twilight. “Um … exercise?”

“YONA ASKED TO DO LAPS. YONA GIVEN NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT TO DO MORE LAPS.”

“Oh, that also involved Discord. Yeah, he was a bit of a hoofful while I was away—”

“YONA ATTACKED BY BUGBEAR!!!”

Rutherford leaps into the air and stomps on the ground; the resulting shockwave causes the windows to shatter, bookshelves to topple over, and portraits to fall from the walls. His fiery-red eyes stare down the quivering headmare.

“Starlight-took-full-control-of-the-situation-and-no-creature-got-injured-I-assure-you-everyone-was-OK-after-that,” Twilight rushes to state, before taking several breaths and recomposing herself. “You have to understand … Discord is not evil … well, not anymore, anyway … but he has weird ways to get his messages across. I know Yona was scared by that bugbear, and for good reason, but rest assured, we do everything we can to ensure the safety of—”

“YONA SWALLOWED BY LIQUID STAIRCASE! YONA CHASED BY GHOSTS! YOU CALL THIS ENSURING SAFETY???”

Twilight sighs and again addresses Rutherford. “You’re right again, of course … in the end, this school is my responsibility. I am sorry for what Yona … for what all the students in the school had to endure while Discord was, well, being Discord. All I can say is that every creature is all right, and for all they’ve been through, their bonds are stronger now than they’ve ever been. This school of friendship is working, and Yona will be a better yak for it.”

Rutherford grumbles again, pacing around the room but careful not to stomp any fallen items. “PURPLE PRINCESS PONY WALKING ON THIN ICE WITH YAKS,” he warns.

“I know,” Twilight says, “and I’m sorry again for what Yona has been through. But she really is someone special. She and the others have come so far, trusting each other to be there for one another in times of—”

“EXPLAIN ACCUSATION.”

Ho boy, forgot about that one, Twilight thinks to herself. “Prince Rutherford, I know of the incident you’re about to bring up, but before you overreact, I assure you—”

“YOU SMEAR YONA’S GOOD WORD! YOU SMEAR ALL YAKS WITH FALSE ACCUSATION!!!”

Enraged, Rutherford begins leaping on everything not already smashed to bits … toppled bookshelves, books, cabinets. Twilight closes her eyes, winces, and waits for the sounds of smashing items to cease. When all becomes silent again, she cautiously opens her eyes to see Rutherford staring her down once again.

“As I was saying,” Twilight calmly responds, “the culprit did eventually step forward and took responsibility for the events of Hearthswarming Eve. Yona and the other innocent parties were completely exonerated, and it was their decision to remain at the school over the break.”

The fire gradually recedes from Rutherford’s eyes. He composes himself before responding.

“YAKS GLAD TO HEAR THIS. YAKS NOT ONES FOR SENSELESS DESTRUCTION … ONLY FOR CELEBRATORY AND PURPOSEFUL DESTRUCTION.”

Rutherford takes one final breath. “PURPLE PRINCESS PONY EXPLANATIONS SATISFACTORY FOR YAKS, FOR NOW. YONA HAPPY HERE, WHICH IS MOST IMPORTANT TO YAKS. PLEASE BE MORE CAREFUL WITH YONA GOING FORWARD … OR YAKS WILL REALLY GET ANGRY. GOOD DAY.”

Rutherford gives one final bow, turns, and departs the room.

Twilight looks around the area, now surrounded by all manners of debris and destruction. She sighs as her horn illuminates, and a small portion of clutter gradually levitates towards a corner of the room.

A knock on the door causes Twilight to lose concentration as her horn ceases glowing and the hovering clutter crashes back to the floor. “Come in,” she bellows as she turns to the door.

Spike peeks his head in. “So … how did the meeting go?”

Twilight looks at her assistant as if he just sprouted a second head. “How do you think it went?”

Spike takes a look around. “Not well, I guess.”

Twilight sighs. “It’s not your fault, Spike. Prince Rutherford made a lot of good points; I do need to do a better job taking care of our students. Anyway, you have news?”

“Just a reminder that Dragonlord Ember is waiting for you; she wants to discuss a recent substitute hiring, among other concerns.”

Twilight groans, takes one final look around her office, and turns to Spike.

“Just prep the fire extinguishers and tell her I’ll be ready in five minutes!”

Comments

[Ellington]

Rutherford is calling the kettle black.

[deadpansnarker]

Personally, if I was Twilight, I'd hold the meetings in a less... fragile area.

[Hunter]

9171949
It's what the mane six do every day of their lives, so frankly it's deserved.

I genuinely want an episode where the Pretty Purple Princess Posse actually is held accountable for all their crap at this point, the two-faced rhetoric of friends in high places is getting really old at this point.

And with them proving themselves unfit as proper teachers repeatedly in ways that'd cost any other character their livelyhood, I'm rooting for them to get a beating in the next finale, win or loss.

[Ellington]

9172014
I'm more sore at the Wonderbutts abusive ways, and Discord's evil narcissistic ways, as well as Celestia's quick to failure and even sadistic ways.

Besides, the yaks are trouble makers and have no right to be the ones calling her out for this.

[zzzzzz]

It is not easy being the headmare.

[Hunter]

9172211
I'm sorry but I'm not letting the bearers actions slide because of their 'destinies' as bearers.

Because that's bullcrap and hero worship, they break laws, caise damage to others and others property, they get the same treatment as everyone else.

The Yaks are trouble makers, but that doesn't excuse Pretty in Purpler from her problems either, so moot point, seeing as literally every character in this show is an excersize in stupidity for plot contrivance.

Discord should've been left as a statue and held accountable for his treason, since he clearly never intended his quips about the book to be anything but jabs.

Spitfire should be court-marshaled and stripped of any honors she has after routinely failing to even do the bare minimum besides exist where she's supposed to be in uniform.

Celestia could drop dead along with Luna for all I care about their characters.

Ones an arrogant selfish brat handed all the power in the world after proving herself unfit for it on multiple occaisions, the others a hypocrit who risks the entire world for her own ends and goals while manipulating history.

Both are wastes of power resting on their laurels instead of actively bettering themselves and their people.

[Ellington]

9172874
Just to be clear, I'm not disagreeing with you. I used to enjoy this show but it's getting harder and harder to do so. Hasbro doesn't seem to be all that professional.

All I'm saying is that the yaks in this fic are being hypocrites.

[Winter_Solstice]

This was one of the funniest stories I've read in a while! Thumbs up!

[Hunter]

9173611
Apologies, long day at work ran into another, and a lack of sleep doesn't help my temper.

I realize they're hypocrits but by comparison the yaks are at best a drop compared to an ocean, and while them being destructive and obstinant doesn't help them, it's something thats integral to them by the trope they fill.

[AnOrdinaryWriter]

I'm surprised this kind of thing never happens at Hogwarts.

[Cavenerd20]

I know they're friends, but Fluttershy needs to start taking Discord to task about behaving token good when he's perfectly capable of being genuinely good.

Also, they definitely need to do something about the safety hazards their school keeps facing. I'd say Twi needs to threaten her friends with teaching workshops if they don't start shaping up. That'll get their attention; not one of them wants to sit through a lecture, especially one that might come from Twilight herself.

[Foxhelm]

“Just prep the fire extinguishers and tell her I’ll be ready in five minutes!”

[Winter_Solstice]

Featured in November for Tag-A-Long's Book Club

[Vaguely Demented]

“Hello Dragonlord Ember. Yes I do all my official meetings in fire retardant clothing.”

[Ninjadeadbeard]

Se-quel!
Se-quel!
Se-quel!

[Theresa]

I would love to know what they talking about when it comes to discord. He always causes trouble because doing things like ponies isn't him plus chaos and him go hand in hand whether he intends it or not.

[orp]

YAKS NOT ONES FOR SENSELESS DESTRUCTION … ONLY FOR CELEBRATORY AND PURPOSEFUL DESTRUCTION.”

- Prince Rutherford, master of percussive diplomacy.