Start of Altered Time
Big Mac landed lightly on his hooves, catching Gohan on his back as Piccolo dropped them in an open grassland right in front of a large pond. He seemed to be aiming to drop them in the pond, but Big Mac had righted their landing before that happened. This apparently surprised Piccolo, based on his raised...eyebrow? He didn't actually have hair, but the muscles under his skin moved as though raising an eyebrow, so Big Mac interpreted as such.
"Alright you little human...Saiyan...thing," Piccolo began firmly. "And you pony thing. I saw what you both did back there. You both have a great deal of latent power, and seem capable of bringing it out depending on emotional impetus. That could be quite...useful."
"W...what do you mean?" Gohan asked worriedly, becoming only a little calmer as Big Mac turned his head to nuzzle him.
"I'm going to make you both my pupils!" Piccolo declared firmly. "And then...I'll use you both for my conquest of this world!"
"Nnnnope," Big Mac responded calmly.
Piccolo looked down at him. "Is that no to being a pupil, or no to conquest?"
"Nnnnope!"
"...no to being used?" Piccolo parsed.
"Eeeyup." Big Mac nodded his head firmly.
"...so you have no objection to me training you, or to conquering the world," Piccolo clarified, trying to get specifics.
"Nnnope!"
"But only if you're doing it with me, not for me," Piccolo concluded. "Is that right?"
"Eeeyup!" Big Mac doubted the three of them together could actually take over the world...but if they could, then the world deserved to have someone responsible enough to properly defend the world run it, and he could make a nice farm and feed everyone afterwards. That sounded fun. He wondered where he'd find an apple to get seeds for planting.
Piccolo rubbed his head between his antennae, after lifting his turban enough to reveal them. "And what about you, brat?" he demanded of Gohan. "Do you have objections?"
"Well, my Daddy's always going on about training, but my Mommy's always going on about being a responsible citizen and properly providing for a family and my parents when I grow up," Gohan offered thoughtfully. "Would conquering the world do that latter part?"
Piccolo's head slowly tilted to one side as he tried to parse that, having not expected such a thorough analysis from someone so young. "I...suppose?" he allowed uncertainly.
"Eeyup!" Big Mac confirmed, nodding his head. After all, 'providing for family' meant 'climbing the business ladder', and you couldn't get promoted much higher than 'ruler of the world' while still being planet based.
"Okay, Mr. Piccolo!" Gohan agreed happily. "But...what happened to Daddy? Shouldn't he be here to help my training?"
"I hate to tell you this kid, but your Dad's dead," Piccolo offered in a gruffly apologetic tone. "Wait, no I don't. I love saying that. Your dad's dead!" He laughed smugly over it.
As Gohan started to tear up, Big Mac declared, "Nnnope!" He then gestured to where Gohan's hat wasn't before drawing a circle on the ground.
Piccolo tilted his head, then grunted irritably. "Oh, right, the Dragon Balls," he growled. "They'll probably have him revived between now and the end of the year, depending on how hard they are to find this time around."
Gohan quickly calmed down. He then tapped his chin in thought. "Umm...won't intense training at my young age cause horrible muscle degeneration, and cripple me for years to come?"
Piccolo stared at Gohan, nonplussed. "You're a wordy little bastard, aren't you?"
"Actually, my parents are married, so-"
"So you're actually a wordy little son of a bitch?" Piccolo corrected. "Actually, I've met your Mom, that's definitely more accurate."
Gohan stared up at Piccolo in confusion. "Uh...are you saying my Mom's a dog-"
"Discussion's over, training time!" Piccolo interrupted.
"But...what about muscle degeneration-"
"Nnnope," Big Mac interrupted, shifting his head to tug lightly on Gohan's tail, making his entire body tense up.
"Oh, right, I'm half...Saiyan, was it?" Gohan interpreted, which Big Mac nodded confirmation to. "I'm not entirely human, so the normal rules of human biology and development probably aren't entirely accurate. And Uncle Raditz did say Dad was sent here as a baby to conquer the planet, so intense training at a young age must be good for young Saiyans-"
"NEEERRRRRRD!" Piccolo interrupted tauntingly.
"...what?"
"Anyway, it seems personal danger or danger to those you care about brings out your latent potential, so to start I'm going to throw you at that mountain," Piccolo stated as he picked Gohan up.
"Actually, that looks more like a plate-AAAAAAAUUU!" Gohan stated, the end of his sentence becoming a scream as he was sent flying at the plateau in question.
"Any second-" Piccolo began.
"Nnnope!" Big Mac interrupted as he charged forward, quickly catching up to Gohan's flight before leaping into the air, turning so Gohan could rotate to land astride him again.
Piccolo watched in awe as Big Mac hit the plateau hooves first, drilling right through it to land safely on the other side. "...whoa..." he observed in amazement.
Yes, ponies are just full of surprises, a familiar voice observed in his mind.
"Ugh..." he groaned irritably. "What do you want, Kami?"
Actually, I'm just delivering a message from Mr. Popo, Kami explained readily. A...rather grisly threat reminding what he'll do to you if you, and I quote, "Mess with mah ponies".
"...rrrright..." Piccolo allowed nervously. "But...won't that affect you, too?"
You do remember the-oh, he's about to explain it to some new trainees.
"Alright maggots, listen up!" Mr. Popo declared firmly as he glared down at the motley 'defenders of the planet' that had been gathered. He didn't consider them worthy of a title like 'Z Warriors', especially with how contrived it was just for a series title reference. "Popo's about to teach you the Pecking Order. It goes you-
-the dirt-
-the worms inside of the dirt-
-Popo's stool-
-Kami-
-the blue girl-
-then-
-Popo. Any questions?"
"Umm...yeah, I-" the bald midget began, only to scream as Popo sent him flying off the lookout without even moving.
"Enjoy the climb back up, bitch!" he called out.
"I still don't understand why she is higher in the Pecking Order than I am," Kami complained dryly.
"That's because you never put out," Popo explained readily, his ever present snarky smirk never leaving his face.
"I don't have genitalia!" Kami snapped irritably.
"Never stopped me."
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.....Can Sonata show up in a story?
Hahahahahaahahahaa!!! Oh man that last section. Thank you for making more of this
TMI! TMI! SPARE MY MIND LORD POPO!
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She's in "Three More Things". In fact, this is specifically a reference to how she's written in that story.
So how many times are we gonna have conversations like the one between AJ and Big Mac in Filli Vanilla?
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I was hoping for a separate story but okay.
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She's in the Jackie Chan Story.
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K
9602834
Search for his CMC meets Jackie Chan Adventures story "Three more things" and you will eventually see her.
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K
9602834
It is entirely possible that Three More Things is happening nearly concurrently with this, or at least can be reached. Which means the fire can be set on fire and burned to ashes, then sapped until a gooey mess.
9602834
That's Sonata impossibility.
Also, a certain midget better learn to bring takeout tacos on his returns if he doesn't want to exceed the previous record of Ownages.
3 things I have to say
first off I read this while at work....
second off it freak funny
4th off, I think pinkie pie should been in pecking order but only above kama
6th off, me think big mac going to be start up an apple farm right next to goku house....... mostly to keep goku from eat him
9602871
So, like 99.97% of the multiverse's Sweetie Belle?
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Except worse, because now her responsible older brother is now no longer older, not quite responsible, and has achieved a level beyond perfection that only legends had reached before. And may also be unfortunately influenced by Piccalo and Goku.
Aside from the slight modification I just had to play the classic in the background.
#REKT
Oh god no body mess with Mr popo
Perfect. Now I wonder how Alucard would do in a fight with Mr. Popo and how much of the universe will be destroyed before they both get serious?
Popo for the WIN!
... I don't know how, but everything in this seems to fit TOO well into DBZA.
Sonata has...large tracks of land, doesn't she?
Popo did gud.
Of course Mr. Popo has the best taste in sirens, since he's Popo
The last lines were hilarious.
These stories always put a smile on my face.
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They make me snap whenever I see something particularly good... But the base reaction is a smile from me too.
This chapter was hilarious.
I’m also betting Big Mac’s presence in the story is already having a big impact on the narrative. Raditz definitely acted much differently than how he was in DBZA proper with the Pony around.
I wonder if this will get him to stop and reconsider being, well, himself causing mayhem in King Yemma’s castle and perhaps seek out Goku to have a little chat. Heck, it would be neat if Raditz joined Goku on the journey to King Kai’s planet so that they both might get to know each other over the year while dead. Could lead to a lot of interesting possibilities and dynamics in the future.
Especially once Vegeta shows up.
Heck, if you could also redeem Nappa as a result of Big Mac being there and keep Vegeta alive the dynamics of 4 saiyans being in one narrative together might be enough to keep Popo entertained.
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And impeccable tastes in tacos!
The graphical Pecking Order is very well thought and straight-to-the-point. At least Mr. Popo didn't add the picture of Peking Duck into that Order.
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Clearly Popo is actually Alucard after Alucard ate a Djinn.
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Nah, Popo is Alucard and Dumplin after wearing the Potara earrings. /jk
Oh, you are just having a blast with this one aren't you?
What if Big Mac’s parents are with King Kai but nobody connects the relationship until Big Mac dies.
Goku: Oh boy! A full horse meal!
That picture of Sonata. I approve.
are you sure you didn't mean Luna?
9602871
so, just a Thursday for the CMC?
If I re-read this chapter or this series over again... I'm going to hurt myself something bad. My ribs can't take it Cap'n.
I had been wondering where Sonata landed on the pecking order.
Fair enough, points for clarification.
Huh, it's kinda refreshing to have someone want to take over the world for genuinely benevolent reasons and not coming from a madman.
I mean, he's got a point.
He's not wrong.
There it is.
Piccolo, he's POPO. He doesn't have to kill you to make you regret hurting his ponies.
I, worry about the implications of that.
Jynx had been replaced
I for one welcome our new pony overlord and wish he would buck all the idiots currently in charge out of office.
.............. I like sonta a lot so dose that put me above kame??
This is amazing. I've been on a dbza kick lately and I'm in love. I love that Sonata ranks higher than Kami
9603716
In Three More Things, the Jackie Chan Adventures based fanfic by the same author, the dazzlings show up and become adopted daughters of the villain turned anti hero Valmonte.
In said fic it is implied Sonata learnt how to fuck shit up right propper by our resident eldritch abomination, Mr Popo, hence why she is referenced here.
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May I direct you to the first chapter of this fic, as well as the end of this chapter and the beginning of this chapter.
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Well, that’s one way to ruin a good mood.
Huh so Popo got a thing for Sonata can't say I blame him, she is the most attractive of the dazzling after all.
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Not sure the "adopted" part is accurate... That term isn't usually used when one becomes a step-parent.
Even in the Dragon Ball universe, the thoughtfulness of these five year olds is just plain unnatural.
That ending, though... So the Sirens are also going to get Isekaied?
Wait...
So... Popo and Sonata have been shtumping?
*tick tick tick*
Then again, go Popo.
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Your pin made me laugh, but I did face-palm.
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