First Impressions
It didn't take long for Goku, Gohan, and Big Mac to reach the tiny island with the even tinier house on it. Since Goku jumped off the cloud to land in front of the open door, Gohan and Big Mac presumed that meant this was Kame House, their destination. The large sea turtle wandering around on the beach suggested the accuracy of such an assumption to Gohan, since due to his mother's obsession with seeing him 'properly educated' he already spoke three languages fluently, if infrequently as he wasn't very verbose yet, and thus knew that one of the meanings of 'Kame' was 'Turtle. Big Mac wondered if Goku had named the creature. If so, he expected it to be named 'Soup'.
...Big Mac did not have a very high opinion of Goku.
"Hey guys!" Goku called out as he approached the door.
Several figures ran out calling greetings, none of whom Gohan or Big Mac recognized.One was a tall, blue-haired female, one was a short bald monk, and one was an old man wearing sunglasses. There were other details, but neither Gohan nor Big Mac were able to focus enough to take in those details...other than the fact that all three were staring at them.
"Goku," the woman began, "I can't help but notice that five year old you're carrying. ...and the pony."
"Goku, just because we picked you up in the middle of the woods when you were a kid doesn't mean you can go around stealing children and animals," the monk observed chidingly. Apparently, he shared Big Mac's low opinion of Goku to some extent. Big Mac decided he liked him.
They all seemed rather shocked to learn that Gohan was Goku's son. Gohan chose to ignore the rest of the discussion in favor of attempting to make friends with the turtle. Big Mac chose to ignore the rest of the conversation in favor of making certain the turtle didn't eat Gohan...or, given he apparently was Goku's son, vice versa.
Goku called them back at one point, and both reluctantly came. There was apparently something of significance to the orb decorating Gohan's hat, but the discussion escaped Big Mac's grasp and Gohan's interest, as at that point he had discovered that Big Mac was strong enough to support him on his back and had climbed up there for pony rides. However, their innocent pleasure was interrupted when Goku's calm words became intense.
"Holy black on a Popo, what is that?"
Gohan didn't understand the significance of the oath, but Goku's apparent fear passed to him rapidly. Big Mac, on the other hand, instantly went tense at the mention of the name 'Popo', though he couldn't deduce why. Thinking about it, he could only assume he 'knew better', whatever that meant.
Moments later, a figure descended onto the island in unaided flight. Looking at the figure...Big Mac could only think to describe him as 'punk rocker Goku'. He looked basically like Goku but with far too much hair hanging down his back to his knees, and wearing some sort of armor, along with something over his left eye and ear that looked like it was something important that would rapidly be overshadowed and ignored. ...Big Mac began to think someone was narrating his thoughts. He didn't find fault, he just wished whoever it was made an effort to be helpful. So far, they just seemed to be making obscure jokes beyond his ability to grasp.
He seemed to be saying something to Goku - though he kept calling him 'Kakarot' for some reason - that Goku wasn't understanding. ...if Big Mac were the spiteful sort, he likely would have started mentally referring to Goku as Kakarot due to joy at associating him with decaying feces, but he wasn't any more fond of being spiteful than he was of plays on words or swearing. He did manage a smile when the figure asked, "You...hit your head as a child, didn't you?"
After a rather intense lecture, a bit more banter, and the stranger smacking the monk into the house with his tail for some reason - Big Mac could have sworn he heard a 'Ding' when that happened - and Goku proceeding to prove he had an IQ smaller than Krillin's winning streak (Big Mac wasn't sure why his thoughts - or the narrator thereof - phrased it that way, but with what Goku had said about Krillin's losing streak...), their - apparently alien - Uncle declared that he was there to recruit Goku to exterminate all life on the planet to sell it for profit.
...the logic escaped Gohan and Big Mac.
Goku attempted to politely decline. His brother promptly kicked him into the ocean.
"Daddy!" Gohan called out worriedly, racing forward as Goku washed to shore.
"I'll be taking this!" the alien declared as he grabbed Gohan by his tail, making him go limp. "Yoink!"
"Nnnope!" Big Mac snapped as he lunged forward, trying to sink his teeth in the man's tail...but only managing to get a hold of Gohan's shirt.
"And you too, I might need a snack," the figure continued, pulling Big Mac into his other arm before flying off.
Big Mac sighed ruefully, deciding not to struggle while several hundred feet over open water and traveling somewhere around the speed of sound. This did not seem the course of wisdom. Besides, he was certain an opportunity to act to protect Gohan would arise at some point.
Why was he so determined to protect Gohan, anyway? He'd literally just met him. Then again, there was that feeling of kinship-
His musing was interrupted as Gohan - slung under the alien's other arm - reached out and took his hoof in his hand. The look he was giving him...they were brothers now, and they would look out for each other. That sounded right.
Nodding to each other, they steeled themselves to not break down yet. They'd figure something out sooner or later...or someone would save them. For now, they needed to be strong.
Gohan looked up at the figure that had just kidnapped them. "So...who are you?"
"What?" the figure demanded in confusion. "Weren't you listening to my explanation to your father?"
"Eeyup," Big Mac confirmed.
"But what's your name?" Gohan pressed.
The alien came to a halt in midair, staring at Gohan. "...you mean in all that I forgot to introduce myself?" he asked in surprise. "Do you think Kakarot would have been more cooperative if I'd thought to give my name?"
"Nnnope."
"No one asked you, adorable talking pony that I did not just call adorable no matter what the scouter records say," the man insisted as he touched down next to a metal sphere with an open hatch. "Oh, and for the record, my name is Raditz."
Gohan turned to Big Mac. "Are you a fraggle, by any chance?"
Big Mac chuckled, though he wasn't sure why. "Nnnope."
"That's it, into the time-out pod," Raditz snapped as he tossed them both into the sphere before closing it on them.
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Heh
Hahahahaha. Nice.
~Down in Fraggle Rock!~
and so the pony nonsense begins
I see this is set in the Team Four Star version of DBZ. Nice.
I'm surprised Goku hasn't referred to Big Mac as a red Yoshi since Gohan was riding him.
I'm honestly not surprised that Goku's still dumb from the brain damage he suffered as a child. I wonder if Goku wouldn't as stupid if he didn't get the brain damage...
Raditz. Sounds less disappointing than Yamcha.
Will you ever do a Black Lagoon crossover?
Tats and TFS, the mad combo that will leave us in tears. I'm gonna need an oxygen tank, Tats has a habit of suffocating me with these stories as is.
9227367
actually, not true. Goku is in fact rather intelligent. ignorant, yes, stupid, not so much. it is from lack of schooling that makes him seem so stupid. i will admit he could have learned from Chichi but i find it unlikely he would have found it interesting enough to pay attention. remember how he learned nigh instantaneously what took Muten Roshi 50 years to create and master. it took Naruto over a week to learn his FATHER'S signature attack. he isn't stupid, he is merely uneducated.
Raditz, though.
And just like that, he's smart
Errr... doesn't the pod also equipped with intergalactic transportation system?
9227444
Actually, it's TFS going back to the original manga characterization of Goku in that if it's not about fighting, he doesn't care. Not interested, not enthralled. Can he get a better fight by doing a somewhat wrong thing? Odds are, he'll do that and make it look like something else. He's not all that different from Vegeta, just with a slightly more vested interest in Earth.
As an adult, Big Macintosh was able to pull a house withou noticing the weight.
I can only imagine how much stronger he is going to get after training with people able to bench-press a planet.
9227488
You got to remember the author's mention of the average IQ of the characters in the series.
I'm sure whoever is narrating Big Mac's thoughts is absolutely Krillin it with the humoures references.
Why I reading it whita bore narrator voice?
9227444 True, but this just means that Goku's an idiot savant with fighting.
9227494
exactly. he is not stupid, learning just doesn't interest him.
9227601
i will have you know some of history's greatest geniuses were great at one thing and pants at most other things. did you know Edison (or Einstein, i forget which) failed math class?
9227697
Einstein, and that's actually incorrect. The schooling system he attended scored students on a reverse curve relative to America, so the lower your score the better you did. Thus the misinterpretation.
Don't worry, the sooner you accept it, the better.
Eh, Cachalote is funnier.
... I'm getting familiarly bad vibes from this. Nothing as bad as what happened to Azula, but closer to what happened to Dr. Light.
That all depends on the power-scaling, I suppose. Mr. Popo's greatest feats in TFS are wiping Garlic Jr. from existence, and knocking Goku and Vegeta off of Kami's Lookout before the Cell Games (this isn't to say that's the extent of his abilities, so much as it is to say that that's the extent of what we've seen of him). However, Dragon Ball Super reaches a Universe+ to Multiversal level of power.
Comparing the two, one side clearly eclipses the other side in terms of sheer might, but given Popo's role in this story, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a joke somewhere down the line where it turns out that Mr. Popo is Zeno's dad.
Needless to say, discussion of Tori-bot is pointless, as he has no domain here, much like that one bit from Dragon Ball Multiverse.
dragonball-multiverse.com/en/pages/final/0422.png
dragonball-multiverse.com/en/pages/final/0423.png
Hey Tatsurou, when you're trying to sell a house you don't own to someone else, do you just let it be fully stocked, or do you wait for a natural disaster to devastate people's lives and then rack up the prices?
The answer is that Frieza is based off the most evil thing Toriyama could think of that also happened to be socially relevant at the time: a "Land Shark".
Anyways, other than that bad vibe I got (the one even KaiserNeko admitted got old), this seems to be panning out all right. Good luck.
9227703
the rest is still true. there is a reason that autistic and artistic keep getting mixed up. autism doesn't make you retarded as most people think. the lower end forms tend to make you really good at one thing and bad at everything else. that one thing just happens to tend to be art. not sure why. i myself have a higher end form of autism that makes me really good at three or four things and really bad to decent (read: just below average) at everything else.
I just want to get this off my chest. There are already too many food puns in DBZ.
Oolong: a kid of tea
Frieza: freezer
Saiyan (Yasai), Vegeta, Roshi: Vegetable
Nappa: a kind of lettuce
Garlic Jr: self explanatory
Hay, it would be simpler to just put this here.
http://dragonball.wikia.com/wiki/Origins_of_character_names
And, lest we forget,
"Gingerbread!" "Tutti-Frutti!"" "Pepperoniiii!!!!"
Now I wonder if Tats is a fan of the What If series by one of the creators of Dragonball Z Abridged? I know one is what if Raditz turned good.
Even if Big Mac were such, you'd have to make Raditz into dust first. and make sticks out of 'im
Oh my god. Gohan got the reference!
9227522
That's irrelevant. As long as they are active kids, anything tend to go wrong. Remember the CMCs?
9227769
I believe that is MasakoX's longest running what if to date.
Ah. The glorious nonsense of DBZ Abridged mixed with a pony straight man(stallion?). Looking forward to more.
Keep up the great work. Deus tecum.
Noted.
As you should.
That sounds fairly accurate.
Bit too meta there, buddy.
Smart pony.
Probably not.
9227817
Now imagine them with DBZ powers. And none of the maturity from Three More Things.
Good grief I had to take longer than usual to finish it because of how hilarious it was.
9227529
I Popo-bly have a good guess. Then again Yamcha might be the wrong answer.
By Celestia, I wonder why?
9227713
Goku was really dumb as a kid, and in many ways he's STILL pretty dumb, even all the way in DBS. Big Mac's opinion is...warranted.
“”“Oh my god, he’s a parent. ... and a pet owner?”””
.............. I'm getting a sense of dread now but I don't know where or why??
9228551
I'm not really referring to his intelligence. More to do with his interpersonal relations with people. Like that whole recurring joke in TFS about Piccolo being Gohan's real dad and all that? I'm worried it's going to evolve beyond that in this story, where he gets lectured by some random character in this story without responding to it in any meaningful way. Straw Mans and Character Filibusters and all that.
I'm suddenly rather curious how many times Raditz had to hear that joke from Nappa. I'm thinking... every time they planted Saibamen. No wonder Uncle Raditz is pissed.
Did you by chance make this story just for the opportunity to make that pun?
9227367
You clearly have never seen dbz abridged before. Tats is using the abridged version, not canon.
9241046 Actually, I've binged watch DBZA up to the start of the Android saga.
Tatsurou mocking his own writing style.
Hmmmm, I have to wonder if Big Mac would have been able to bit of Raditz's tail or just clamp down on it.
9227356
Give it time after all Goku is a dumbass
Also nothing and I mean nothing can escape anything that is adorable.
And so begins Big Mac's journey through THE ENTIRE DBZA SERIES... which will take 12 years to make!!
Oh dear gods above and below. This is just too perfect.
How far into DBZA you going with this Tatsurou?
9269971
I'm guessing with his schedule he might still be doing this when the buu arc shows up next year.