A young boy staggered curiously along the clifftop, peeking under every bush in interest. He was dressed in a yellow and green Chinese-style outfit with 'Son' written in kanji on the front, a red cap with a spherical crystal on the top, and black shoes. He had black hair and eyes, and an innocent, curious expression on his somewhat pudgy face. There was nothing too terribly out of the ordinary about the child...except that he had a tail. This was Son Gohan, and the four year old child had no idea what fate had in store for him...or how much that would change this day. For now, he was simply a curious youngster seeking something of interest, a sparrow seeking a temporary roost.
Someone is always watching the sparrow.
A Djinn sat calmly among the plants of his garden, birds resting on his shoulders and in his outstretched hands. His pitch black skin contrasted pleasantly against his dark red vest and white pants, hi big lips stretched in a thin...ish...line across the lower half of his face. While he was plainly irritated about something, one could be forgiven for assuming the figure was a good-natured soul who wouldn't harm a fly even when pushed.
...one wouldn't survive assuming that, but one could be forgiven for doing so.
"The maggot wants what?" he demanded angrily of the bird twittering in his hand. It was quite different from the other birds adorning him, being a mix of blazing red, orange, and gold that made it look almost as though it were on fire. It proceeded to twitter irritably at him. "Yes, I called him a maggot. I don't care how strong he is over there, you know the pecking order and he's not on it." The bird let out a piercing squawk. "Don't you take that tone with me. I don't care if you are immortal, I'll make you regret it if I have to borrow the Mallard's chainsaw. Now give me one good reason why I should play a part in cleaning up his mess."
The bird offered an odd string of cheeps and whistles, and the figure staring down at him...smiled. It was a terrifying thing to witness, as it was accompanied by a sickening creak the likes of which one would expect to hear in a dilapidated house as the demons possessing it shifted a door as it barely clung to a single hinge. "Well now, that's a reason. I wouldn't say it's good as far as I'm concerned, but it's a reason. But again, why should it be my problem?"
The bird flew off, only to promptly return with a taco clutched in its talons, for some obscure reason. As the food item landed in the Djinn's hand, however, something...changed in his expression. It was difficult to define exactly how, but it sent every critter but the bird who'd brought it fleeing to the far corners of the circular platform the garden rested on. "Oh, so that's her story, is it?" he almost purred. "Well, that is the Pecking Order...but I get to choose which one."
The bird started to cheep complaint, only for the Djinn to pinch its beak between two fingers. "No, I'm done listening maggot. Go back and tell that other maggot I'll take care of one, but he'd better have that subcontract in place because I'm not foalsitting, understand?" The bird rapidly nodded. "Good. Now...bye~." The bird vanished.
The Djinn turned his eyes to the sparrow that was not a sparrow. "This should be fun," he observed calmly as he pulled a red apple out of nowhere, polished it on his vest, and threw it from the floating platform.
Gohan let out a surprised yelp as something hit him in the back of his head, sending him tumbling to the ground as his hat fell off his head. To his surprise, another yelp mirrored his. Turning, his eyes widened as he saw what had hit him.
A red equine not much larger than him was rubbing his forehead, Gohan's hat resting lightly on his brow. An orange mane and tail added contrast to his coloration, hanging down to frame his large, expressive green eyes. A large green apple adorned his flank on each side like a brand, and his oversized golden hooves denoted just how young a specimen he was. He then looked up in confusion at Gohan, tilting his head back and forth.
Gohan, for his part, crawled towards him. He'd been looking for something interesting, and this was the most fascinating thing he could have found...and he was adorable. Toddling forward, he managed to wrap his arms around the little pony's neck, managing to stabilize himself there as the pony braced himself to hold him up. They stared into each others eyes, finding a sudden, unexpected, inexplicable kinship.
"Gohan!" a voice called out, startling them both. "Where are you, Gohan?" Turning, they both saw an adult human standing on a golden cloud zipping down towards them, dressed in an orange gi. "Oh, there you are Gohan. Wow, you wandered far." Hopping off the cloud, he landed lightly on the clifftop. "But there's no time for that now. We're running late to Kame House." Pausing, he glanced up at the sun. "I...think..." He then seemed to notice the creature Gohan was clinging to. "Oh wow, you found a tiny pony!"
"Eeyup," the pony offered helpfully.
The man gasped in shock. "A talking pony! That's amazing! Can you say anything else?"
"Eeyup."
"Really? Like what?"
"...nnnope."
"So cool!" the man declared happily. "Oh, I'm Goku! And this is my son, Gohan! What's your name?"
The pony tilted his head back and forth, scratching at his chin and screwing up his lips. For some reason, he seemed to struggle to answer the question.
"Well, I'm gonna call you Big Mac," Goku concluded.
"Eeeyu-"
"Because I'm hungry."
Big Mac stared flatly at Goku as Gohan clung more tightly to him.
"Well, come on you two," Goku said as he scooped them both up as he leapt back onto the cloud. "We need to get to Kame House to see everyone...and then we can talk to Chi Chi about letting Gohan have a pet. If the answer's no, I'll be bringing home dinner!"
Gohan and Big Mac clung to Goku as the cloud zipped off towards the distant ocean.
The Djinn sat calmly in his garden, watching what had just occurred. "...well, that was unexpected," he concluded thoughtfully as he reached into a nearby bucket to consume a handful of what, for the sake of sanity, shall henceforth be described as 'popcorn'. "Still, I suppose it could have been worse."
A yellow-white dog sitting nearby sat up and began to howl a tune.
"Shut up, maggot! I'm watching my ponies!"
Oh man! I remember when you floated this idea years ago!
I can't wait to see where you go with it!
This should be interesting; carry out, wayward son...
I've been waiting for this! And in the middle of the end of the Cell Games (presented by Hetap), too.
I pity Gohan so, so much.
so going to do the buu saga?
Welp... Big Mac's pretty much fyayed at this point, Daedra King Discord's not even in the Pecking Order, Mr. Popo (please don't kill us) remembers Sonata quite well, and this is barely even the first chapter.
This is going to end terribly, isn't it?
So Popo, think you're superior to Gamemaster Discord, King of the Skyrim Pantheon? Have you forgotten that universal powers are far stronger than planetary ones, let alone assistants to said planetary powers? ESPECIALLY when said planetary powers you're an assistant to only hold the post temporarily?
tl:dr, while you're legendarily powerful and fierce, the truth is you're FAR lower on the pecking order than you'd like to think...
9166037
Not in Abridged. Definitely not in Abridged.
Right on upload 10 likes XD
XD That naming logic!
Pinking Order. It's you, the dirt, the worms inside of the dirt, big mac's dirt, sonata's dirt, popo's stool, sonata's taco, popo's taco, Big Mac, Sonata, Kami and Popo.
Damn I can imagine how much Krullin will suffer with the pinking order of everyone at the show. LOL
Quick question... what is Malards chainsaw? I dont recognize the reference
favorited and followed, on the grounds that it's a Tatsurou PWNY story.
Not growing up with Goku but Gohan instead? A timid kid and a very few word pony seem strangely complement each other in a sense. I kinda hoped if Big Mac would grow up with Goku, he would pack more vocabulary when he return, but well, I just have to wait and see.
Ah shit, further down the rabbit hole we go.
Goku is going to be disappointed that he'll never get to taste talking pony meat.
Then he'll forget why he's disappointed and try to turn him into a mounted war pony to fight on instead
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw41rR1wdy0
Anyway, just to clarify; Big Mac is young here, right? I know you noted his hooves were big to denote his young age, but I'm just curious. :D
Golden Horseshoes, well please put me down for a future Prince Big Mac.
Now what will Cell get from Big Mac?
9166005
Probably not. Most likely the end of the Cell Saga.
9166068
Nega Duck from the Coco Pommel story.
...Ohhhh yes. OHHHHHH YESSSSSSSS.
9166068
Drake Mallard, aka Darkwing Duck.
Alternate Drake Mallard, aka Negaduck, the Disney character who canonically "is capable of killing anything, even the unkillable". Preferred weapon is a chainsaw.
And so... It begins.
9166068
Negaduck from Darkwing Duck, who made an appearance in a chapter of Dressed to Steal.
9166042
Ah, that. My knowledge of Abridged anything is pretty much nonexistent past "it's a thing".
9166057
Pretty sure Sonata would rank higher than Kami.
If you are going to change things around at all when you reach the Cell saga have either the sensu been given to Cell intercepted or prevented.
9166157
I think she just let Kami be above of her because she thinks he is really old and near to die, so he needs a good happiness of his lame life XD.
Sees title
"Huh, Dragon ball series. Okay. Wonder if only one part or the whole series"
Sees final line of description
"..."
"..."
"WHY DO I HAVE TO BE WORKING NOW ?!"
Ends up reading at parking lot after shift ends.
Tracking. Like. Done.
DBZ Abridged? We're not even pretending to keep the power creep in check anymore are we? I very much look forward to wherever this wanders off to.
Kid, I'd got two words for you. Eeyup.
Since the apple hit Goku on the head, would that be Goku's law?
9166179
Keep in mind, it's Mr. Popo who decides the Pecking Order, not the ones in the Order.
9166184
Uh...it hit Gohan. The apple was Big Mac.
9166187
Ohhhhhh. Well, Then popo decide what is the order then. XD
Wait, I think I'm confused here— did Popo basically just pluck Big Mac out of Equestria as an apple and chuck him at Gohan just for the fun of it? The bird he was talking to also had Mac's color scheme... and Sonata is clearly involved... Ahhh, I'm lost!
What.....wha......what the fuck?! I....what?! What the HELL was that?!
I'm sure you can tell, but I watched the linked video. Obviously, that was a mistake, as seems to be common with your modern stories. Few things baffle and disgust me to the point of expletives, but all that is beside the point.
To be honest, I'm not super hyped for this. Your tendency to reference DBZ Abridged in other stories makes this feel somewhat redundant, and TFS references have gotten to the point where I'm deliberately excluding TFS in any capacity, with maybe two or three exceptions, in my own future DBZ stories.
I'm sorry, that's a bit overly negative for me. Your stories tend to be good, and I suppose DBZ Abridged is a world to go wild in much like the world of Red vs Blue, so I will be tracking this for at least the Saiyan Saga. This is a decent start, but it's characteristically short, so there's not much else to say.
9166286
The reference was to 'Excel Saga', and the dog character is named 'Menchi', which - apparently - literally translates to 'emergency food'. Thus the joke with the chapter title since Goku named him Big Mac "because I'm hungry".
9166180
Ditto. :D
9166037
This is Abridged Poop we're talking about...
9166233
The Tori was clearly Philomena...
9166366
... That makes sense. I got thrown off when it said 'stare down at him.'
I'm also not quite sure whose 'mess' Popo's talking about. Maybe I should just attribute it to the [Alt. U] tag...
...Is that a reference to Three More Things! by any chance? Specifically, Sonata?
9166024 Oh, most definitely... and it will be GLORIOUS. *cackles maniacally*
9166301
Actually, 'menchi' is literally "mincemeat." Close enough, though.
It says something that as soon as I began reading Mr. Popo's dialogue, I could actually imagine his voice uttering those words. Kinda says something about the Internet's influence. 😄
9166188
Welp, that means people can Gohan on my slip up.
9166443
You planned that didn't you?
Philomena?
Correct.
You're easily amused.
*sigh*
Thank you, Popo.
9166453
Eenope
i do not have enough booze to deal with this shit!
9166233
The bird is Toriyama.
Referenced a few times in DBZA, most prominently in the first DBZA Cooler movie.
It's a reference to Akira Toriyama, original creator of Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z and Dragon Ball Super,but he acticely refused to acknowledge GT as canon to his creation.
He actually likes the Abridged series, and even supported them in their fights with Toei Animation over copyright issues, and even had a reference to the Abridged series in Super.
ALL OF MY YES!!!