• Published 12th Sep 2018
  • 6,250 Views, 589 Comments

Dragon Ball Zeeyup! - Tatsurou



Gohan has no friends. His father has no brain. His pony brother has no vocabulary. What's a monkey boy to do? (DBZ Abridged crossover)

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At Least it's Better Than Menchi

A young boy staggered curiously along the clifftop, peeking under every bush in interest. He was dressed in a yellow and green Chinese-style outfit with 'Son' written in kanji on the front, a red cap with a spherical crystal on the top, and black shoes. He had black hair and eyes, and an innocent, curious expression on his somewhat pudgy face. There was nothing too terribly out of the ordinary about the child...except that he had a tail. This was Son Gohan, and the four year old child had no idea what fate had in store for him...or how much that would change this day. For now, he was simply a curious youngster seeking something of interest, a sparrow seeking a temporary roost.

Someone is always watching the sparrow.


A Djinn sat calmly among the plants of his garden, birds resting on his shoulders and in his outstretched hands. His pitch black skin contrasted pleasantly against his dark red vest and white pants, hi big lips stretched in a thin...ish...line across the lower half of his face. While he was plainly irritated about something, one could be forgiven for assuming the figure was a good-natured soul who wouldn't harm a fly even when pushed.

...one wouldn't survive assuming that, but one could be forgiven for doing so.

"The maggot wants what?" he demanded angrily of the bird twittering in his hand. It was quite different from the other birds adorning him, being a mix of blazing red, orange, and gold that made it look almost as though it were on fire. It proceeded to twitter irritably at him. "Yes, I called him a maggot. I don't care how strong he is over there, you know the pecking order and he's not on it." The bird let out a piercing squawk. "Don't you take that tone with me. I don't care if you are immortal, I'll make you regret it if I have to borrow the Mallard's chainsaw. Now give me one good reason why I should play a part in cleaning up his mess."

The bird offered an odd string of cheeps and whistles, and the figure staring down at him...smiled. It was a terrifying thing to witness, as it was accompanied by a sickening creak the likes of which one would expect to hear in a dilapidated house as the demons possessing it shifted a door as it barely clung to a single hinge. "Well now, that's a reason. I wouldn't say it's good as far as I'm concerned, but it's a reason. But again, why should it be my problem?"

The bird flew off, only to promptly return with a taco clutched in its talons, for some obscure reason. As the food item landed in the Djinn's hand, however, something...changed in his expression. It was difficult to define exactly how, but it sent every critter but the bird who'd brought it fleeing to the far corners of the circular platform the garden rested on. "Oh, so that's her story, is it?" he almost purred. "Well, that is the Pecking Order...but I get to choose which one."

The bird started to cheep complaint, only for the Djinn to pinch its beak between two fingers. "No, I'm done listening maggot. Go back and tell that other maggot I'll take care of one, but he'd better have that subcontract in place because I'm not foalsitting, understand?" The bird rapidly nodded. "Good. Now...bye~." The bird vanished.

The Djinn turned his eyes to the sparrow that was not a sparrow. "This should be fun," he observed calmly as he pulled a red apple out of nowhere, polished it on his vest, and threw it from the floating platform.


Gohan let out a surprised yelp as something hit him in the back of his head, sending him tumbling to the ground as his hat fell off his head. To his surprise, another yelp mirrored his. Turning, his eyes widened as he saw what had hit him.

A red equine not much larger than him was rubbing his forehead, Gohan's hat resting lightly on his brow. An orange mane and tail added contrast to his coloration, hanging down to frame his large, expressive green eyes. A large green apple adorned his flank on each side like a brand, and his oversized golden hooves denoted just how young a specimen he was. He then looked up in confusion at Gohan, tilting his head back and forth.

Gohan, for his part, crawled towards him. He'd been looking for something interesting, and this was the most fascinating thing he could have found...and he was adorable. Toddling forward, he managed to wrap his arms around the little pony's neck, managing to stabilize himself there as the pony braced himself to hold him up. They stared into each others eyes, finding a sudden, unexpected, inexplicable kinship.

"Gohan!" a voice called out, startling them both. "Where are you, Gohan?" Turning, they both saw an adult human standing on a golden cloud zipping down towards them, dressed in an orange gi. "Oh, there you are Gohan. Wow, you wandered far." Hopping off the cloud, he landed lightly on the clifftop. "But there's no time for that now. We're running late to Kame House." Pausing, he glanced up at the sun. "I...think..." He then seemed to notice the creature Gohan was clinging to. "Oh wow, you found a tiny pony!"

"Eeyup," the pony offered helpfully.

The man gasped in shock. "A talking pony! That's amazing! Can you say anything else?"

"Eeyup."

"Really? Like what?"

"...nnnope."

"So cool!" the man declared happily. "Oh, I'm Goku! And this is my son, Gohan! What's your name?"

The pony tilted his head back and forth, scratching at his chin and screwing up his lips. For some reason, he seemed to struggle to answer the question.

"Well, I'm gonna call you Big Mac," Goku concluded.

"Eeeyu-"

"Because I'm hungry."

Big Mac stared flatly at Goku as Gohan clung more tightly to him.

"Well, come on you two," Goku said as he scooped them both up as he leapt back onto the cloud. "We need to get to Kame House to see everyone...and then we can talk to Chi Chi about letting Gohan have a pet. If the answer's no, I'll be bringing home dinner!"

Gohan and Big Mac clung to Goku as the cloud zipped off towards the distant ocean.


The Djinn sat calmly in his garden, watching what had just occurred. "...well, that was unexpected," he concluded thoughtfully as he reached into a nearby bucket to consume a handful of what, for the sake of sanity, shall henceforth be described as 'popcorn'. "Still, I suppose it could have been worse."

A yellow-white dog sitting nearby sat up and began to howl a tune.

"Shut up, maggot! I'm watching my ponies!"