Entertainment
While being inside the pod muffled any sound from within it to the outside, it in no way blocked exterior sound to the inside as anything said outside was played by speakers inside. As such, both Gohan and Big Mac clearly heard Goku's shout.
"Raditz!" Goku called as he zoomed in on a yellow cloud, accompanied by a green man. "Gimme back my son!"
"Wait, how did you know my name?" Raditz demanded as Goku leapt off the cloud to land lightly on the ground, the green man settling down under his own power.
"Huh?" Goku asked in confusion. "You introduced yourself back at Kame House."
"As your brother, yes," Raditz corrected, "but your son pointed out I never gave you my name."
Goku gasped in surprise. "Gohan talked to a stranger? He's going to be in so much trouble for that! And me for letting it happen."
"What?" Raditz demanded in surprise. "But I'm not a stranger! I'm his Uncle!"
"But he didn't know your name," Goku pointed out 'logically'. "That makes you a stranger."
"But you knew my name!"
"Well, yeah. You introduced yourself."
"But I never gave my name! He told me so!"
"And he's going to be in so much trouble for that."
"But how can you know my name when I never gave it?"
"Don't be silly, Raditz. You introduced yourself."
As Raditz began making unusual noises and facial contortions, the green man chuckled softly. "If I actually ate anything, I'd be wishing for some popcorn right about now," he mumbled, quiet enough to not be heard by Goku or Raditz, but loud enough - unintentionally - to be picked up by the pod and played on the speakers.
Big Mac decided he liked the Green Man.
"But I never gave my name!" Raditz shouted out angrily.
"But then...how did I know your name?" Goku asked in confusion.
"That's what I want to know!" Raditz screamed back.
"Don't be silly, Raditz," Goku answered happily. "We aren't a baseball team."
Raditz slowly tilted his head to one side. "Are...are you trying to cripple me with an aneurysm from sheer stupidity so you don't have to physically fight me?"
"...is it working?"
"No."
"Then I would never do that!" Goku avowed firmly. "That wouldn't be fair at all."
Raditz stared at Goku for a time. "...I'm going to enjoy strangling you with your own intestines," he growled out angrily.
"Raditz!" Goku gasped in shock. "How could you say that to your own brother? And in front of children no less?"
Raditz turned to the green man. "How do you put up with this?"
"Honestly, the only reason I'm not actively trying to kill him like I normally do is because you seem to be a more serious threat," the green man observed calmly.
"And I friended him on MySpace," Goku piped up.
"...I wasn't going to bring that up, but yes," the green man growled.
"So if I add you on Spacebook, will you help me convince him to conquer this planet, exterminate its populace, and sell it for profit?" Raditz asked hopefully.
"...tempting, but then I'd have to try and win an argument with this idiot," the green man pointed out, gesturing to Goku. "How well is that going?"
"Piccolo, we aren't arguing!" Goku pointed out happily. "We're nowhere near a clinic, and it's not even close to dinner time!" An odd grin crossed his face. "Mmm...dinner...say Raditz, where'd you put Big Mac?"
"Who?" Raditz asked in confusion.
"The pony," Goku clarified.
"Seriously?" Piccolo demanded with a frown. "You named a pony Big Mac? Why?"
"Because he could say yup and nope and had an apple on his butt," Goku replied easily.
Piccolo stared at him. "That...actually has some real thought-"
"And I was hungry."
"Ugh," Piccolo grunted. "Can we fight now?"
"I don't know," Raditz answered with a smirk. "Now that I'm not on the receiving end of it, watching someone else deal with my brother's stupidity is rather entertaining. What is this 'popcorn' you mentioned earlier?"
"Popcorn?" Goku asked excitedly. "Are we going to see a movie?"
"Shut up Kakarot, the combatants with an IQ are talking."
Gohan calmly took off his hat, reached into it, and pulled out a bag. Opening it up, he offered some fluffy white kernels to Big Mac, who happily accepted. They began to munch as they watched the discussion unfold. Given the entertainment so far, Big Mac found himself hoping Raditz survived what was to come. He was at least preferable to Goku.
"So why do you want to eradicate all life on this planet anyway?" Piccolo finally asked.
Raditz shrugged his shoulders. "It's something to do?" he allowed. "Honestly, there's not all that much entertaining I can do out in space, as much as I enjoy being out there."
"But there's tons of fun stuff to do on Earth!" Goku spoke up eagerly. "There's ball games, and food, and fighting tournaments, and camping, and food, and training, and food, and movies, and food, and food-"
"As...appealing as all that sounds," Raditz interrupted calmly, "and it really does...based on my scouter readings I'm about five or six times stronger than the two of you put together...and my immediate superior is about eight or nine times stronger than me, and the one above that 18 or 19 times stronger...and neither of them really like me all that much. Honestly, they only really put up with me because we're all together the last of the Saiyans."
"And...they're the strongest beings out there?" Piccolo asked hopefully.
"Not even close," Raditz growled irritably. "And it's not like that can change..." He paused, glancing back at the pod...and Gohan. "Huh. There's a thought." He turned back to Goku and Piccolo. "One I'll put more thought into after I kick both your asses."
"But I don't have a donkey!" Goku complained.
Raditz turned to glare at him. "You know, I would threaten to cave your skull in for that, but I don't think it would take all that much effort. It doesn't seem like there's anything inside there."
"Trust me, anything but," Piccolo pointed out in a relaxed tone of voice. "His skull is very hard."
"Well, that's frustrating," Raditz growled as he shifted into a battle stance.
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Yesss! The mental mayhem; it is delicious!
And then they all tripped over some misplaced modifiers.
Because what ridiculous things CAN'T happen in an Abridged parody?
And we're back, as Tatsurou posts another chapter! Yes! Ladies and gentlemen, this is truly a day for celebration. And laughing at Goku. But we'll just roll that into the celebration.
Logic goes out the window when there's a pony involved. Especially Pinkie Pie.
Am I the only one hoping to see this take a "What if Raditz Turned Good" turn?
I heard Dragon Ball Abridged is one of the most hilarious fan-anime out there, but never expect it to be this far. I have a hard time trying to make sense of the scene while laughing.
This is amazing. I love your stories and can't wait to see more.
I can picture Gohan's headbutt being followed up with Big Mac hitting Raditz with his own pod.
9492027
Except the only pony around hasn't become "involved" yet... so this is BASELINE insanity levels!
i always felt sorry for raditz on one level, deep down.
9492031
god, that bait and switch would be epic.
9492031
With these PWNY stories? Happens all the time. It's one of the thing I like most about them besides cuteness and humor.
9492031
I mean, ep 13 of that DID come out today... Bet that helped inspire this bit of insanity.
While reading I choudn't stop laughing
Oh my God I am loving DBZ Abridged Abridged.
Nice "Who's on First" reference. I tend to like "Who's on Stage" by Slappy and Skippy Squirrel.
("What's the name of the band on stage?" "Who." "The name of the band." "Who." "The band on stage." "Who." "Look, on the stage, see the band?" "No, that's not The Band, The Band is performing later.")
Yeah, that sounds like a perfectly rational explanation of why Goku named him Big Mac.
I kinda want this version of Raditz to live.
You sly dog!! I almost missed that reference. I'm excited to see where you take this next, whether you have radish live or die, this will be fun.
Poor Raditz. He's not used to Goku's brand of stupid.
9492176
this, I'm outta here! Vegeta can deal with the pony!"
pony, Nappa can fight it!"
Well, since it's a PWNYverse story - a PWNYverse based in a TFS parody at that - I give it even odds on recruitment, annihilation, or Raditz going "
"What? No, I'm not going to fight the
"...Can I have pony rides instead? I like pony rides."
9492269
I approve.
Like you made your own good episode of TFS
Now this has me wondering if Tatsurou is a fan of the What If’s that one of the creators of TFS is doing. You all know the one where Raditz turned good.
9492031
Maybe the author is a fan of the above mentioned?
This dialogue would make me happy to watch the DBZ series.
9492306
Dragon Ball R&R is good 2
9492306 Well, there's no way he doesn't know about it now. We'll see if that becomes a factor.
So who's on first?
Ah, nice.
Yeah that sounds about right.
Give it a second.
There it is.
I'd ask why you have that on you, but, Goku.
You would be surprised actually.
It really is.
9492031
You know, Masako X, i.e. Abridged Goku, has a series on that on his channel.
you know, it actually makes more sense for them to team up so i am happy when i find one of the rare stories in which Radditz joins the good guys. watching Gine berate her sons while Bardock hides from her wrath is still hilarious though.
i may have mentioned this in an earlier comment, i say it every now and then so maybe. canon Goku is in fact not stupid. he is merely uneducated. he literally managed to pull off a technique he only saw once mere minutes before and has come up with ways to beat some much more powerful foes in ways most people would never think of. he grew up alone on a mountain so not stupid just uneducated. hell, just look at how he beat Piccolo at the world tournament as a perfect example of this.
I think Goku is deliberately trolling Raditz here. The laughs, they hurt so much.
Oh I so hope this ends up being a crossover between MLP, DBZ:A, and what if Raditz turned good. This is straight up hilarious!
And for some reason I get the feeling someone is going to make a wish on the dragon balls to transform Big Mac into an anthro. Which would make him much more effective at martial arts, fighting, and overall badassary.
Which sounds logical enough for Piccolo to do it against Big Mac’s will. Probably as soon as Piccolo kidnaps Big Mac and Gohan.
As for Goku making it to the fight against Vegeta (since the dragon balls will have already been used) fortune teller baba gets Goku a day pass to save the world.
Do you plan to include the movies in this?
Tats man, You made a episode of DBZA. It's just as good and I love it! It made me laugh so hard! It's gonna be a long time but I can't wait to see Cell.
Have you been following MasakoX's 'what if' series? It might be fun to play around with some of those ideas here.
9492467
My favorite is what if Gine went with Goku to Earth and what if Bardock convinced the Saiyans.
Where do you think I got the idea?
9492563
True, but you have to keep in mind this story's more DBZA-based than DBZ. Aside from a few notable occasions, such as him setting Gohan up to fight Cell in Season 3, he's a tried-and-true idiot there.
Is Radditz gonna get Yamcha’d or will he be stuck tagging along and not really assisting in any way other than just being there... like Yamcha?
Facebook had already been around for two years (Before it was FaceMash or TheFacebook), so the joke still works. It's just odd imagining Piccolo acknowledge that there's any other social media site, especially when he earnestly believes that Tom is a real person (and he unintentionally was in that one episode).
Huh, I didn't expect that kinda joke in one of your stories. Pretty good.
{Piccolo: He means spacecorn.
Raditz: Spacecorn?! Gross, I hate that sugary garbage.
Piccolo: No, the other spacecorn.
Raditz: Oh, that? Sorry, Burter doesn't agree with me.
Piccolo: Have you tried it with Jeice instead?
Raditz: Yeah, but then I get a weird craving for Salza and my whole appetite gets ruined.}
This whole chapter's basically one of those little skits before every boss fight in the M&L games, and I love it.
Well damn, there goes that "What If Raditz Turned Good" crossover I knew would never happen.
Reading this makes me want to re-watch all of DBZ:Abridged. I am so excited to see both where the show goes and where this fic goes!
Ah the beauty of the abridged series. Making good anime hilariously better.
(takes a very deep breath) how is this so funny as a SMG4 video????
I swear to god, your PWNY stories either have a million chapters or just 5
If Big Mac learns more words I would so love to hear him say
"I need an adult"
9495688
I would so love to see Tatsurou tackle Hellsing Abridged with Luna
9519383 Luna's already got Litwack's Arcade (as Nightmare Moon).
9519383
Technically Scootaloo is Alucard’s Daughter BUT it is not part of THIS multiverse.
I have but one request: if you do the cell saga please either send off as he was in the series or make him wake in Equestria and be like “So this is my new home? Ehhh could be worse well I did say I’ll take knitting” Becomes fashion designer or a singer
I have no idea how I didn't favourite this. Your banter is amazing!
THIRD BASE! wait... he said I want to know...
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Superior version: