Sexuality and Irritability
Feeling a gentle shifting from within his grasp, Mac slowly awoke to find Annabelle snuggling closer to his embrace. She was facing away from him, playing little spoon as she usually had during thier cuddle sessions.
Smiling contently, The apple farmer pulled her closer ever so gently to get that little bit of extra closeness. With the farm the majority of the Spring fertalization and rejuvination done, there was no real hurry to get out of bed today. Applebloom was in School, Applejack said she would be out with her friends today and he wasn't really sure what Granny was up to.
He felt Anna's plot shift against himself and gasped as she shifted into just the wrong position. This was the one part of the day he always dreaded with her, the awkwardness of his morning need. Waking up alone with the need was one thing, but to have an attractive, young, fertile mare in such close proximity? That made the need almost painful.
He attempted to calm himself through deep breaths and thoughts of disturbing images, however another rump wiggle from the slumbering earth pony quickly broke his concentration. His half erect member was now at full mast and pressing into Anna's lower back.
Mac slowly loosened his grip, his breathing becoming involuntarily heavy. He wasn't about to panic, he'd just do what he always did, sneak out of bed, take care of his business and then come right back.
As his forelegs slowly shifted away from Annabelle, he quietly, though quickly shuffled himself backwards. A firm pair of legs gripped onto his and pinched them against the mare, holding him firmly in place. The mare was awake, and she seemed to have other ideas.
"Where do you think you're going?" He heard her say playfully.
Frozen in fear, Macintosh quickly ran through the options in his head. A) He could bolt for the door and hope to Celestia she didn't see or B) He could stay where he was and hope that she wouldn't notice. As if reading his mind, he own forlegs tightened around his, pulling his body straight onto her back.
'Option B it is.'
Trapped, the stallion resigned himself to his breathing exercises in a futile attempt to suppress his sexual desire.
"Hmmm, I love waking up like this." He heard Anna coo happily, snuggling into Mac and wiggling just the wrong way yet again.
'Glad you do, because it's killing me!'
A thick silence hung in the air for a time, one that grew uncomfortably quiet. Anna sighed from beneath him, not a content and happy sigh, but one that Macintosh knew meant that there was something on her mind. "Y'all alright, Anna?"
Shaking her head, the buttermilk earth pony replied in the negative. "No, I'm just worried about Soarin is all." Mac's body tensed at the name. Soarin, as far as he was concerned, was a menace to his family that he wouldn't be sad to hear rotted in the dungeons until death. Though, he was his marefriends brother, and that left him in a very complicated and frustrating situation. "I know he's hurt you and your sister, but he's my brother and I love him."
'Ouch. You know, even though he's kin to her, hearing the mare you love say she loves a stallion you hate is just... ouch.'
"Sorry ta hear." Said Mac, honestly he didn't know what else to do. Soarin was a creep, a creep who took his job too seriously.
For the next twenty minutes, the apple farmer sat in silence as Anna spilled her emotions. Speaking about her fears for her brother's future, her father's mental stability, the circus, everything. Each passing word made the stallion grow uncomfortable, he didn't like hearing the mare he loved in pain, who would? By the time she'd finished asking about what would happen to the dragon of the circus without her father there to run it, she was practically in tears.
He pulled her closer, wishing that his tight embrace would make the pain go away. The effect wasn't immediate, but he did feel her shuddering body relax little by little until eventually she stopped.
"I'm sorry," She chuckle cried, rubbing her foreleg over he eyes. "Did you sleep well?"
"Ah slept al riiaaaahh." He gasped, feeling her wiggle again. He'd calmed down quite a bit during her confessions, but her new round of snuggling placed an unnecessary amount of wiggling into her lower body.
"Hmm? What was that?" She asked innocently, causing the apple farm to blush. "I didn't quite hear you, let me shift to listen better." If the movement of her plot could be called unnecessary before, it was intentionally suggestive now. What had taken twenty minutes careful concentration and breathing was undone in the span of a few seconds.
"Hmmm. Much better." The earth pony chuckled. "Oh my, what's that?" She gave her plot an experimental shake. Mac gasped at the pleasure, he couldn't help it. He honest to Celestia could not help himself at this point. Her soft, velevaty coat brushing up against his exposed stallionhood was enough to almost drive him to end right there, but he held her in place just long enough to spare himself the shame.
Her teasing obviously flustering her coltfriend, the provocative earth pony laughed sensually. "Well, at least I know you're actually into me now." That statement gave Mac pause and he asked her to elaborate. "Well, I mean, I've been in your bed how many days now? And you haven't once tried anything." She answered, explaining that she was beginning to wonder if he'd found her desirable.
It wasn't so much that Macintosh found Annabelle undesirable, far from it infact. But this was also his first love, his first real relationship. The values he was raised on was commitment before such things. For all of the irritation Granny had caused him with her light misandry, he did find the idea of loving somepony before committing the foal making act to hold merit. He wasn't sure if sex now was the right thing to do, he did Love Anna, but he wasn't sure he had the emotional maturity to be a father.
Turning to face him, any sense of playful teasing was gone from her beautiful face. She looked at him with serious, though understanding eyes. "Macintosh, ponies can have sex and not get pregnant. You know that, don't you?"
Mac nodded. "O' course Ah do, but there'll always be that chance, ya know?" He'd never told her about the story that Granny had told him in the barn that day, but it left an impact on red pony. Anna wasn't about to let the excuse fly, though.
"I understand your reservations, Mac. Especially considering your first time was... less than consensual." She placed a gentle hoof on his cheek. "But I'm not in estrus right now, and I feel comfortable enough to share my body with you." He knew this would happen eventually, and despite the stereotype of "stallions always want sex" Big Macintosh had always felt different. Yea, he had sexual urges and wanted it just as much as most others, but... He wasn't really sure why he wasn't able to prepare for this moment.
Without realizing it, he felt tears welling up in his eyes, a memory he didn't want to think about pushing itself to the forefront of his mind.
Luna... What Luna had done to him, he... he thought it wasn't supposed to bother him so much. It wasn't like he hadn't enjoyed it, he just wasn't ready for it.
He shut his eyes as tightly as he could, doing everything to push the memory out of his mind as the emotions came rushing back to him. Feelings of helplessness at her advances, betrayal at his friend's casual dismissal, anger at his own inability to stop her. Trembling, Mac forced quick breaths through his nostrils to keep calm, fighting with every part of his being to stop himself from going outside and destroying another tree.
"Shhh, it's okay, Mac." Annabelle cooed, pulling the stallion's head to her chest and stroking his mane. "It's okay, I've got you." Realizing her mistake, the mare did everything she could to comfort her stallion. She honestly felt guilty but she had also noticed how timid he was upon her obvious sexual advances. It wasn't simple shyness, a flick of her tail to expose herself, a sultry stare, any gesture or act that would be considered suggestive brought an almost pained flinch to the stallion's face.
She hated it, it felt like a small rejection against her, but Annabelle knew it was. He'd been hurt, he'd been hurt and abandoned, so badly so that he didn't even talk to his supposed "friends" about his pain. It was a quality that both made the apple pony both attractive and frustrating. Getting him to open up was like pulling teeth out of a timberwolf's maw, but that was to be expected. Anypony facing pain would naturally fight against it, no matter how necessary the pain was to heal the unseen wounds.
She felt the stallion hic up in her chest and tightened her embrace. As terrible as the situation was, she knew her stallion would come out better for it. She'd just need to stay here with him until such time, the same way she knew he'd stay with her if she needed him.
"I hate my life." Sin grumbled, looking at the resolute defiance on Rain Drops face. Rain Drops, the prissy young mare was a petulant princess as he'd expected. He will was that of a daddy's filly, constantly using her will and pout to get what she wanted. He'd told her time after time that "emergency paid leave" for Imperial employees didn't include going home early because of feminine issues.
"I hate your life too, sexist!" She screeched.
Sin pressed his and tensed his muscles. He joked about killing ponies alot, it was always just venting inside his own head to make him feel better and come up with comical situation to get a good laugh. The scenarios he currently ran about the mare's untimely end were flirting with the line of petty revenge jokes and problem solving.
He admitted it, he didn't have much of an idea on what issues mares went through in terms of their sexual health, and personally speaking, he didn't care. Sin was not going to back down on the bill she was challenging. Why should the tax payer be on the hook for her issues? The females in the Federation took unpaid leave whenever such issues interfered with work, so why shouldn't the mare before him do the same?
"It's got nothing to do with sex, Ms. Drops. It has to do with you being paid for time that you're not working." Which would actually mean she got paid, like, for an hours worth of work a day, but the Federalist was already five seconds away from putting that blue flower he'd found in the Everfree into her tea, adding another topic for her to bitch about was not in his interest of non-aggression.
"Yes it is about sex, if you stallions had to face this kind of problem, you'd take off in a heart beat!" She retorted. Sad thing was that she was probably right, most stallions would. But between working though both limiting injury and pain that demanded bed rest in a much more physically intensive job and then working a second job here, Sin wasn't most stallions.
"That's a very lovely opinion, and I'm sure you're very proud of it." He replied calmly, sighing and letting the anger slide. "However, you lack the evidence needed to back it up. As such, it holds no water here and is disregarded. If you wish to leave now, that's on you, but I'll be damned before I let you get paid for it."
Rain gasped and made that face. It was a face so unbelievably silly and foalish, Sin had to bite his tongue, hard, to keep himself from laughing. Her pink cheeks puffed out, eyes narrowed, and lowered head were the epitome of adorable idiot. She looked like a blow fish, really. A blow fish demanding her daddy give buy her a toy or she'd hold her breath until she exploded.
The idea was almost enough for him to crack up laughing, but he'd kept his reserve. This happened every time she'd get a wild hair up her ass and challenge his decisions, and like every other time, she stomped her hoof on the ground, call him a name and stomp out of the room.
He'd never say it out loud, but he always loved when she came in to butt heads with him. No matter how irritated she'd make him, it would always be completely erased with the humor an satisfaction that came with seeing her storm out of the room like a spoiled child who'd been told "no" for the first time.
"Well, that was fun." He said to himself. Taking a look at the clock, Sin saw the that it was a few minutes before five. It was ironic, Rain Drops had wasted the two hours arguing with him that she'd wanted to use to go home early. Too bad she wanted to get paid for it, otherwise she could have just left.
He closed the proposal folder, used his ever trusty REJECTED stamp on the top, placed it into the "return to council" bin for re-evaluation -and most likely shelving- and made way for the door.
"Hello Sin." Mayor Mare greeted as he opened the door. "Heading home?"
"Yes. Tiring day." The Federalist replied, eager to get home and eat. He'd forgotten lunch that day and settled for sponging off of Cranky for some carrots.
"Before you go, here's this weeks pay." She declared, offering him a small brown sack.
"Keep it." He replied almost instantly. The Mayor tilted her head for a moment and asked why he was rejecting payment for his work. "Because that's money taken by the government via taxation. It's money taken by theft, I want nothing to do with it."
Mare rolled her eyes. "Oh give your whole anarchist thing a rest already." Sin quirked a brow. "This money wasn't taken by theft! Ponyville loves paying their taxes, they know that it's because of our government system that they live secure and productive lives."
Yea, bringing up a town of ponies whom don't know how to protect themselves because you do it for them and condemn the idea of self defense being unnecessary. If that wasn't epitome of: the government breaking one's leg and giving them a crutch, claiming that there wouldn't be a crutch at all with out them; he didn't know what was.
Still, a sudden idea did kill two birds with one stone. "Send that money to the Library." He smirked. Don't fight taking the money and pay off his debt to Twilight at once? Genius! "Tell her I sent it to settle my rent with her."
He walked away before the grey maned mare could get another word in and made way for home. He was tired, irritated and hungry. Oddly much worse so than usual. He wasn't even sure why, either. Yea, today was shit day, but that really didn't justify his foul mood.
He stopped walking and rubbed his head. "What's going on with me?" He grumbled, rubbing his head.
"Sin you jerk!" He turned to see who called him. With just enough perception and reaction time, he dove right to avoid the quickly approaching blur of rainbow fury. Rainbow dash flew up and came to a stop infront of a building, scowling down at him. "You made Pinkie cry!"
Oh joy, that came back to bite him in the ass, did it? "Yea, I guess."
Rainbow landed, finding his response deplorable. She marched forward, pushed her snoot against his and snorted. "You'd better go apologize, now!"
"And what the fuck are you going to do if I don't, you fucking cunt!?" Sin barked pushing his forehead against hers. He knew this was a bad idea, Rainbow was obviously stronger than him, faster and was actually able to fly. Not to mention his reputation would be badly damaged if he was seen brawling with one of Ponyvilles heros, even worse so if he lost. But his irrational irritation had rendered his temper almost gone. As far as the current moment went, he wanted her to start something. He wanted her to commit aggression against him just so he would have something to lash out at and cause pain to.
The sudden realization gave the stallion a startled pause. What was wrong with him? He was a pony of peace, okay yea he had no problem with violence, but to goad it like this? Okay, well he wasn't really opposed to goading others who were hostile to him, but still. This was wrong.
Rainbow, for her part, was also in shock. "What the hey did you say that for?"
Again, Sin placed a hoof over his eyes and tried to calm himself down. "Oh Tapio, look right now's not a good time. Miss Dash." He said through clenched teeth. "I'll talk to you about this tomorrow." He pushed past her and jogged back home before he ran into anything else that would farther push him to lash out.
He locked the door behind him and sat trembling as a growing sense of both rage an panic gripped his chest. He wanted to hit something, he wanted to yell at someone, to make something hurt. The want quickly grew to a need and the stallion ran through the small house to his bed where he unleashed an unpresedented assault upon his pillow.
Feather started to fly as Sin slammed his legs down repeatedly onto the defeseless neck comforter. With each slam of his hoof, his mind slowly began to regress from logcial reason to primitive rage. He didn't even ask himself why he was so angry right now, all he wanted to do was kill the pillow, to destroy it for the very fact it existed. It had to die, it needed to hurt, it needed to be in pain."
"DAMMIT!" He shouted, what little of his rational mind forced itself to regain control and the stallion slammed his head into the wall with a loud thud that shook the house down to the foundation. With the sense knocked out of him, Sin slowly slid down to the floor in a mess of confussion and fear. He felt blood trickling down his cheek, and noticed he couldn't see out of his left eye.
Minutes ticked by and he regained his senses. The anger had subsided drastically, leaving pain and dread to dominate his mind. He lifted his hoof and touched his cheek, the blood on his hoof confirming what he already knew.
Trembling, Sin worked his way to his hooves and cautiously stumbled to the bathroom. He reached down, turned on the foscet and splashed the calming water on his face. He opened his good eye and watched as blood washed down the drain, much more than he thought he'd see.
Figuring he'd gotten enough off, grabbed a towel and blotted his face, wincing as the harsh fabric of the drying cloth made contact with his wound. "C'mon Sin, get it together." he groaned, pushing the cloth into his head. "Everything's fine, there's no reason to be this angry."
'Is that what you think?'
The stallion's head snapped up and his mouth dropped. It was there, only for a second, but he knew he saw it. In the mirror, his left eye was slowly blackening and swelling, small traces of caked blood falling from the cut just to the left of it. But his other eye, his right eye, held a lighter blue than it was supposed to. A teal color, with a slitted retina.
6571248 There's the other of my favorite commentators.
I do love your long winded analysis. I don't know why, but they always make me smile when I read them.
In catching up, its interesting to see when abouts this runs. Though I do have to question the need or a choice of vessel given the anger and rage present.
Still, i think perhaps this almost skirts a humiliation conga in parts, yet never quite hits that mark. Mac's nature overall is perhaps what has me enjoying this so, its always conflicted, and rightly so.
6571641 question the need for the frustration? For nightmare moons quasi possession of sin?
And you aid the humiliation conga almost his the mark, but never does. Is that a good or bad thing?
Well... that reveal of Sins' possession certainly happened much faster than I expected.
6572064 Well it would have been kinda pointless to build it up like it was a secret. (Influence so far, not all out possession... Yet?)
6571678
A humiliation conga, works on two particular angles. Both valid, and sometimes a person will fall into both, or just one. The first is that the person deserves these acts by what they have done, or what they do or how they act. You don't want to kill them, but you can delight in making it where if they had access to something sharp, its often not that uncommon to see them take their last choice. The second, is when the nature of things just keep beating down on someone. It doesn't matter if they are doing good or evil, law or chaos, they are going to fail for however the reason is. Either someone has it out for them, or any number of reasons. A no deed goes unpunished.
As for sins nature, and views. He has just barely kept out of a constant humiliation conga in this setting, likely by proxy to his friends of Mac and Spike. He does get very nearly thrown back in at the deviation away from them. Eventually, the armor breaks. And in his thought process, you get someone perfectly capable of going berserk, or going eerily calm and doing the same. Either way, someone bites it, and sin is quite adept enough to ensure none find the body, and that he is never held complicit to the crime committed.
As for the nuance of it being good, or bad. I can't quite say yet, he's reached the point of being emotional. A logical, calculating, person, in the grip of emotion, and the sweetest one of the moment, Anger. I can't say in part, because he has managed to be a reasonable, if irking person, and has sought to enable people in trouble on one point to find a way out. And done so to counter an abuse of power. And that is really the crux of it all. He has done little wrong in a sense of law as a whole. Despite being an anarchist. He has sought to ensure that everyone's freedom are their own that have wanted to seek it.
Thats more why I see him as being victim of the 2nd. No good deed goes unpunished. The only way really out for him is to walk. And his own personal honor and views will not let him do so despite being perfectly capable of physically doing so. Worse, with his nature, and ties, could easily ensure life was hell for equestrians as a whole. And its a shame, given that if the people whom are abusing his nature and honor would step back and look, well, they'd see and actually regret what they are doing.
I personally, in viewing this, honestly hopes we get the lot of the equestrians of high importance held hostage in uncurable changeling spawn, just to prove that where does not appear to hold power directly. Does not mean they dont have the means to make you lament every choice you have done. When the dog bites back. I could leave the fic happy watching triple m killing off most of the mane cast with the changelings. They've been so willing to go after someone that was a different ideology and viewpoint that they are showing intolerance on a grander scale than the redeeming aspects in that line of thought.
As for the whole nightmare moon thing, eh, its more a "what else can go wrong" deal than anything to relate to his aspects of conga line humiliation. Sorry, had to think about things and get a roughish idea of what I wanted to say. And say it bluntly. I get things that it would devastate spike, and mac. But there comes a point that well, personally. Ive been personally at the point where sin is. And glad I didn't have access to the means to level the field as sin still does, because it would have meant a great deal of painfully dead folks without a care to being stopped.
6572191 Well then... I have seen this from a very different perspective. Thank you.
I may sound sappy, but I love these romantic touchy moments....though I am curious how one plays spoon?
I hope nothing mischievous.
Oh boy. I can only imagine.
Oh this is going to get awkward.
Sounds like a plan. I hope Murphy doesn't screw with him....no pun intended.
Damn you murphy.
Jeez, she's extremely forward.
Oh that was rich.
Big Mac has my sympathies for what he is feeling now.
This just made me realize that the consequences of individual can seriously affect others, especially the close ones....Jeez, Anabelle has grabbed my heart now.
Here we go again.
That is very mature of him. Wanting it to be special and committed.
It's always the minority that seem to have some sense...well sometimes....well you get my point.
.....jeez....I will never know the pain of a raped victim who lost their virginity that way....but I can only imagine that it does not feel good at all.
Never thought of it that way before.
Oh boy....another political showdown.
ooooo. First he was called an anarchist in a negative connotation. Then a menace, foalnapping Big Mac and Spike, racist, a revolutionary, homophobic, and now a sexist. I wonder what other political correctness crimes he will commit?
Good question.
I love this guy.
I would love to see that kind of picture.
I gotta develop this humor for my future debates.
Agreed.
pffft. Irony makes me laugh sometimes.
I see his valid point.
*On taxation*
I must confess that I am conflicted between the anarchist view and the Lockean view that was received by America's founders. The latter state that if the governed consented either by their voice or through their representatives, then taxation is not theft. They had issues with the British taxes because it was imposed without their consent. This anarchist view that all taxation is theft will take awhile for me to swallow because I see legitimacy from both sides.
Oh crap.
Ah crap. Not this again.
I don't like the tension here.
Phew. Crisis adverted.
I find this both disturbing and humorous at the same time.
Oh no.....don't tell me that he just lost his.....
Crap.............
Well, I certainly enjoyed this chapter. And also:
I;m glad to know that I'm brightening your mood with my many words of wisdom and silliness, the latter more prevalent than the former.
6572303 Glad you liked it. I initially typed "being the little spoon" but "playing" seemed to read much easier.
As far as taxation goes, it's the next generation who didn't say they consented to taxation. That's the main point of contest between the Anarcho-capitalists and the Minarchists. Minarchists say that, since the taxation was agreed to, it's not theft, however, Anarcho-capitalists, Mutualists, and other individualists denounce the notion, since the generations after were born into that government with no say in the matter.
Next up, a pure Sin chapter. His first Tantabis nightmare.
I really need to get more into Spike's character so I can do pure Spike and Mac. Feels like I'm leaving them out more than I should.
6572221 I understand the viewpoints from the equestrian side. I do, they have a kind of paradise. (No two are ever alike.) And having grown up in such a place, they find it hard to look where other aspects are so in flux. I get that, But paradise are hell are intertwined so finely that it ends where one begins.
Sin, for all his choices. See's what greases the gears of this heaven. And you explore this very well. Many know what makes this work, as you showcase in sin's foils. And you do it well I think. It is that he as a character comes from a very different world. And he will not wear the blinders that make this paradise. And so, does he step outside of paradise of the equestrian sort. So, for him in experience, he marches into hell willingly, bound in a faustian contract of honor and law by one whom has infinitely more experience. Sadly there is a reason a devil binds with honor itself, twisted, but honor none the less. Without honor, only power exists to stop someone breaking a contract.
And that i think is the issue here, in some part. Sin is casting aside his honor in seeking his ideology. He has been pressed, been pushed, and the armor of honor rent by the devils twisting it. Only one being truly has the power to stop him if he continues down the path, himself.
I know anger. I know wrath. I know every shade in-between. And sin has tasted the first best tastes of anger. It is liberating in a way nothing else is. Because it for all their downsides, this little sin exists in only one sense, now. There is no past, no future. Anger is unfettered and where any devil fears its signer to tread, for the future holds nothing against wrath.
What none, save mac or spike really understand is that Sin is no stranger to killing. Spike and Mac do, they perhaps may ask him to don once more his honor if he casts it all aside in his unfettered state. Not for them, but his ideals, and his beliefs that he helped teach them, before he chooses a very different path of anarchy.
Sorry to post the longer aspects here, just managed to find a good moment lucidity that I would speak my mind upon.
6572333
More Spike?
I wouldn't be opposed.
6572170
Eh. It would be a case of dramatic irony, instead of a secret or revelation. Sin goes through half an adventure getting angrier and worse, and we know what's happening, but the characters do not, and it's played for suspense.
6572956 oh, he still doesn't know what's going on.
Yea, got spike set up now just gotta figure out what to do with him