Sexuality and Irritability
Feeling a gentle shifting from within his grasp, Mac slowly awoke to find Annabelle snuggling closer to his embrace. She was facing away from him, playing little spoon as she usually had during thier cuddle sessions.
Smiling contently, The apple farmer pulled her closer ever so gently to get that little bit of extra closeness. With the farm the majority of the Spring fertalization and rejuvination done, there was no real hurry to get out of bed today. Applebloom was in School, Applejack said she would be out with her friends today and he wasn't really sure what Granny was up to.
He felt Anna's plot shift against himself and gasped as she shifted into just the wrong position. This was the one part of the day he always dreaded with her, the awkwardness of his morning need. Waking up alone with the need was one thing, but to have an attractive, young, fertile mare in such close proximity? That made the need almost painful.
He attempted to calm himself through deep breaths and thoughts of disturbing images, however another rump wiggle from the slumbering earth pony quickly broke his concentration. His half erect member was now at full mast and pressing into Anna's lower back.
Mac slowly loosened his grip, his breathing becoming involuntarily heavy. He wasn't about to panic, he'd just do what he always did, sneak out of bed, take care of his business and then come right back.
As his forelegs slowly shifted away from Annabelle, he quietly, though quickly shuffled himself backwards. A firm pair of legs gripped onto his and pinched them against the mare, holding him firmly in place. The mare was awake, and she seemed to have other ideas.
"Where do you think you're going?" He heard her say playfully.
Frozen in fear, Macintosh quickly ran through the options in his head. A) He could bolt for the door and hope to Celestia she didn't see or B) He could stay where he was and hope that she wouldn't notice. As if reading his mind, he own forlegs tightened around his, pulling his body straight onto her back.
'Option B it is.'
Trapped, the stallion resigned himself to his breathing exercises in a futile attempt to suppress his sexual desire.
"Hmmm, I love waking up like this." He heard Anna coo happily, snuggling into Mac and wiggling just the wrong way yet again.
'Glad you do, because it's killing me!'
A thick silence hung in the air for a time, one that grew uncomfortably quiet. Anna sighed from beneath him, not a content and happy sigh, but one that Macintosh knew meant that there was something on her mind. "Y'all alright, Anna?"
Shaking her head, the buttermilk earth pony replied in the negative. "No, I'm just worried about Soarin is all." Mac's body tensed at the name. Soarin, as far as he was concerned, was a menace to his family that he wouldn't be sad to hear rotted in the dungeons until death. Though, he was his marefriends brother, and that left him in a very complicated and frustrating situation. "I know he's hurt you and your sister, but he's my brother and I love him."
'Ouch. You know, even though he's kin to her, hearing the mare you love say she loves a stallion you hate is just... ouch.'
"Sorry ta hear." Said Mac, honestly he didn't know what else to do. Soarin was a creep, a creep who took his job too seriously.
For the next twenty minutes, the apple farmer sat in silence as Anna spilled her emotions. Speaking about her fears for her brother's future, her father's mental stability, the circus, everything. Each passing word made the stallion grow uncomfortable, he didn't like hearing the mare he loved in pain, who would? By the time she'd finished asking about what would happen to the dragon of the circus without her father there to run it, she was practically in tears.
He pulled her closer, wishing that his tight embrace would make the pain go away. The effect wasn't immediate, but he did feel her shuddering body relax little by little until eventually she stopped.
"I'm sorry," She chuckle cried, rubbing her foreleg over he eyes. "Did you sleep well?"
"Ah slept al riiaaaahh." He gasped, feeling her wiggle again. He'd calmed down quite a bit during her confessions, but her new round of snuggling placed an unnecessary amount of wiggling into her lower body.
"Hmm? What was that?" She asked innocently, causing the apple farm to blush. "I didn't quite hear you, let me shift to listen better." If the movement of her plot could be called unnecessary before, it was intentionally suggestive now. What had taken twenty minutes careful concentration and breathing was undone in the span of a few seconds.
"Hmmm. Much better." The earth pony chuckled. "Oh my, what's that?" She gave her plot an experimental shake. Mac gasped at the pleasure, he couldn't help it. He honest to Celestia could not help himself at this point. Her soft, velevaty coat brushing up against his exposed stallionhood was enough to almost drive him to end right there, but he held her in place just long enough to spare himself the shame.
Her teasing obviously flustering her coltfriend, the provocative earth pony laughed sensually. "Well, at least I know you're actually into me now." That statement gave Mac pause and he asked her to elaborate. "Well, I mean, I've been in your bed how many days now? And you haven't once tried anything." She answered, explaining that she was beginning to wonder if he'd found her desirable.
It wasn't so much that Macintosh found Annabelle undesirable, far from it infact. But this was also his first love, his first real relationship. The values he was raised on was commitment before such things. For all of the irritation Granny had caused him with her light misandry, he did find the idea of loving somepony before committing the foal making act to hold merit. He wasn't sure if sex now was the right thing to do, he did Love Anna, but he wasn't sure he had the emotional maturity to be a father.
Turning to face him, any sense of playful teasing was gone from her beautiful face. She looked at him with serious, though understanding eyes. "Macintosh, ponies can have sex and not get pregnant. You know that, don't you?"
Mac nodded. "O' course Ah do, but there'll always be that chance, ya know?" He'd never told her about the story that Granny had told him in the barn that day, but it left an impact on red pony. Anna wasn't about to let the excuse fly, though.
"I understand your reservations, Mac. Especially considering your first time was... less than consensual." She placed a gentle hoof on his cheek. "But I'm not in estrus right now, and I feel comfortable enough to share my body with you." He knew this would happen eventually, and despite the stereotype of "stallions always want sex" Big Macintosh had always felt different. Yea, he had sexual urges and wanted it just as much as most others, but... He wasn't really sure why he wasn't able to prepare for this moment.
Without realizing it, he felt tears welling up in his eyes, a memory he didn't want to think about pushing itself to the forefront of his mind.
Luna... What Luna had done to him, he... he thought it wasn't supposed to bother him so much. It wasn't like he hadn't enjoyed it, he just wasn't ready for it.
He shut his eyes as tightly as he could, doing everything to push the memory out of his mind as the emotions came rushing back to him. Feelings of helplessness at her advances, betrayal at his friend's casual dismissal, anger at his own inability to stop her. Trembling, Mac forced quick breaths through his nostrils to keep calm, fighting with every part of his being to stop himself from going outside and destroying another tree.
"Shhh, it's okay, Mac." Annabelle cooed, pulling the stallion's head to her chest and stroking his mane. "It's okay, I've got you." Realizing her mistake, the mare did everything she could to comfort her stallion. She honestly felt guilty but she had also noticed how timid he was upon her obvious sexual advances. It wasn't simple shyness, a flick of her tail to expose herself, a sultry stare, any gesture or act that would be considered suggestive brought an almost pained flinch to the stallion's face.
She hated it, it felt like a small rejection against her, but Annabelle knew it was. He'd been hurt, he'd been hurt and abandoned, so badly so that he didn't even talk to his supposed "friends" about his pain. It was a quality that both made the apple pony both attractive and frustrating. Getting him to open up was like pulling teeth out of a timberwolf's maw, but that was to be expected. Anypony facing pain would naturally fight against it, no matter how necessary the pain was to heal the unseen wounds.
She felt the stallion hic up in her chest and tightened her embrace. As terrible as the situation was, she knew her stallion would come out better for it. She'd just need to stay here with him until such time, the same way she knew he'd stay with her if she needed him.
"I hate my life." Sin grumbled, looking at the resolute defiance on Rain Drops face. Rain Drops, the prissy young mare was a petulant princess as he'd expected. He will was that of a daddy's filly, constantly using her will and pout to get what she wanted. He'd told her time after time that "emergency paid leave" for Imperial employees didn't include going home early because of feminine issues.
"I hate your life too, sexist!" She screeched.
Sin pressed his and tensed his muscles. He joked about killing ponies alot, it was always just venting inside his own head to make him feel better and come up with comical situation to get a good laugh. The scenarios he currently ran about the mare's untimely end were flirting with the line of petty revenge jokes and problem solving.
He admitted it, he didn't have much of an idea on what issues mares went through in terms of their sexual health, and personally speaking, he didn't care. Sin was not going to back down on the bill she was challenging. Why should the tax payer be on the hook for her issues? The females in the Federation took unpaid leave whenever such issues interfered with work, so why shouldn't the mare before him do the same?
"It's got nothing to do with sex, Ms. Drops. It has to do with you being paid for time that you're not working." Which would actually mean she got paid, like, for an hours worth of work a day, but the Federalist was already five seconds away from putting that blue flower he'd found in the Everfree into her tea, adding another topic for her to bitch about was not in his interest of non-aggression.
"Yes it is about sex, if you stallions had to face this kind of problem, you'd take off in a heart beat!" She retorted. Sad thing was that she was probably right, most stallions would. But between working though both limiting injury and pain that demanded bed rest in a much more physically intensive job and then working a second job here, Sin wasn't most stallions.
"That's a very lovely opinion, and I'm sure you're very proud of it." He replied calmly, sighing and letting the anger slide. "However, you lack the evidence needed to back it up. As such, it holds no water here and is disregarded. If you wish to leave now, that's on you, but I'll be damned before I let you get paid for it."
Rain gasped and made that face. It was a face so unbelievably silly and foalish, Sin had to bite his tongue, hard, to keep himself from laughing. Her pink cheeks puffed out, eyes narrowed, and lowered head were the epitome of adorable idiot. She looked like a blow fish, really. A blow fish demanding her daddy give buy her a toy or she'd hold her breath until she exploded.
The idea was almost enough for him to crack up laughing, but he'd kept his reserve. This happened every time she'd get a wild hair up her ass and challenge his decisions, and like every other time, she stomped her hoof on the ground, call him a name and stomp out of the room.
He'd never say it out loud, but he always loved when she came in to butt heads with him. No matter how irritated she'd make him, it would always be completely erased with the humor an satisfaction that came with seeing her storm out of the room like a spoiled child who'd been told "no" for the first time.
"Well, that was fun." He said to himself. Taking a look at the clock, Sin saw the that it was a few minutes before five. It was ironic, Rain Drops had wasted the two hours arguing with him that she'd wanted to use to go home early. Too bad she wanted to get paid for it, otherwise she could have just left.
He closed the proposal folder, used his ever trusty REJECTED stamp on the top, placed it into the "return to council" bin for re-evaluation -and most likely shelving- and made way for the door.
"Hello Sin." Mayor Mare greeted as he opened the door. "Heading home?"
"Yes. Tiring day." The Federalist replied, eager to get home and eat. He'd forgotten lunch that day and settled for sponging off of Cranky for some carrots.
"Before you go, here's this weeks pay." She declared, offering him a small brown sack.
"Keep it." He replied almost instantly. The Mayor tilted her head for a moment and asked why he was rejecting payment for his work. "Because that's money taken by the government via taxation. It's money taken by theft, I want nothing to do with it."
Mare rolled her eyes. "Oh give your whole anarchist thing a rest already." Sin quirked a brow. "This money wasn't taken by theft! Ponyville loves paying their taxes, they know that it's because of our government system that they live secure and productive lives."
Yea, bringing up a town of ponies whom don't know how to protect themselves because you do it for them and condemn the idea of self defense being unnecessary. If that wasn't epitome of: the government breaking one's leg and giving them a crutch, claiming that there wouldn't be a crutch at all with out them; he didn't know what was.
Still, a sudden idea did kill two birds with one stone. "Send that money to the Library." He smirked. Don't fight taking the money and pay off his debt to Twilight at once? Genius! "Tell her I sent it to settle my rent with her."
He walked away before the grey maned mare could get another word in and made way for home. He was tired, irritated and hungry. Oddly much worse so than usual. He wasn't even sure why, either. Yea, today was shit day, but that really didn't justify his foul mood.
He stopped walking and rubbed his head. "What's going on with me?" He grumbled, rubbing his head.
"Sin you jerk!" He turned to see who called him. With just enough perception and reaction time, he dove right to avoid the quickly approaching blur of rainbow fury. Rainbow dash flew up and came to a stop infront of a building, scowling down at him. "You made Pinkie cry!"
Oh joy, that came back to bite him in the ass, did it? "Yea, I guess."
Rainbow landed, finding his response deplorable. She marched forward, pushed her snoot against his and snorted. "You'd better go apologize, now!"
"And what the fuck are you going to do if I don't, you fucking cunt!?" Sin barked pushing his forehead against hers. He knew this was a bad idea, Rainbow was obviously stronger than him, faster and was actually able to fly. Not to mention his reputation would be badly damaged if he was seen brawling with one of Ponyvilles heros, even worse so if he lost. But his irrational irritation had rendered his temper almost gone. As far as the current moment went, he wanted her to start something. He wanted her to commit aggression against him just so he would have something to lash out at and cause pain to.
The sudden realization gave the stallion a startled pause. What was wrong with him? He was a pony of peace, okay yea he had no problem with violence, but to goad it like this? Okay, well he wasn't really opposed to goading others who were hostile to him, but still. This was wrong.
Rainbow, for her part, was also in shock. "What the hey did you say that for?"
Again, Sin placed a hoof over his eyes and tried to calm himself down. "Oh Tapio, look right now's not a good time. Miss Dash." He said through clenched teeth. "I'll talk to you about this tomorrow." He pushed past her and jogged back home before he ran into anything else that would farther push him to lash out.
He locked the door behind him and sat trembling as a growing sense of both rage an panic gripped his chest. He wanted to hit something, he wanted to yell at someone, to make something hurt. The want quickly grew to a need and the stallion ran through the small house to his bed where he unleashed an unpresedented assault upon his pillow.
Feather started to fly as Sin slammed his legs down repeatedly onto the defeseless neck comforter. With each slam of his hoof, his mind slowly began to regress from logcial reason to primitive rage. He didn't even ask himself why he was so angry right now, all he wanted to do was kill the pillow, to destroy it for the very fact it existed. It had to die, it needed to hurt, it needed to be in pain."
"DAMMIT!" He shouted, what little of his rational mind forced itself to regain control and the stallion slammed his head into the wall with a loud thud that shook the house down to the foundation. With the sense knocked out of him, Sin slowly slid down to the floor in a mess of confussion and fear. He felt blood trickling down his cheek, and noticed he couldn't see out of his left eye.
Minutes ticked by and he regained his senses. The anger had subsided drastically, leaving pain and dread to dominate his mind. He lifted his hoof and touched his cheek, the blood on his hoof confirming what he already knew.
Trembling, Sin worked his way to his hooves and cautiously stumbled to the bathroom. He reached down, turned on the foscet and splashed the calming water on his face. He opened his good eye and watched as blood washed down the drain, much more than he thought he'd see.
Figuring he'd gotten enough off, grabbed a towel and blotted his face, wincing as the harsh fabric of the drying cloth made contact with his wound. "C'mon Sin, get it together." he groaned, pushing the cloth into his head. "Everything's fine, there's no reason to be this angry."
'Is that what you think?'
The stallion's head snapped up and his mouth dropped. It was there, only for a second, but he knew he saw it. In the mirror, his left eye was slowly blackening and swelling, small traces of caked blood falling from the cut just to the left of it. But his other eye, his right eye, held a lighter blue than it was supposed to. A teal color, with a slitted retina.