• Published 31st Jul 2012
  • 7,056 Views, 1,280 Comments

Earning Freedom - Daxisle



Big Macintosh was a simple apple farmer pony, but once he's imprisoned under false charges for sexual favors, he receives a package in his cell containing means for his escape, and a letter that would change the way he saw the world forever.

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Requiem for a Dream

Requiem for a Dream

Sin entered the white space, having fully surrendered to sleep.

He was exhausted beyond exhausted, too tired to hold anything anymore. Anger, rage, fear, dispair, there was nothing left now. Nothing but a cold and honest frankness to complete a task.

He was alone here, the Nightmare didn't speak out against what he was about to do.

She knew better.

Sin felt his mind ease as the Occlumency dropped, and as expected, the two lunar ponies from before had pushed into the dreamscape, each looking around earnestly until they'd found the Federalist standing below.

"Get Luna." Sin commanded. Not in a demanding tone, but one that left no room for question nor debate.

The pegasi regarded eachother for a moment, nodded, and flew out the unseen portal they'd come in on.

Sin closed his eyes and waited.

Luna would see, she would see what her failure to act had done.

In a few moments, the princess of the night had pressed her way into Sin's mind's eye, looking upon him with hesitation for a moment before slowly lowering herself down.

"Sinbad." She said carefully, eyeing him with expectantly.

He didn't reply at first, simply stared at her with a cold, distant gaze that made the lunar goddess more than a tad uncomfortable. It wasn't anything to do with the Nightmare, nor the power he'd acquired from the Centaur. It was the intense, condemning stare of a pony who's hatred for her couldn't be denied.

"You." Sin whispered, his voice barely above a whisper. "You just had to let them go, didn't you?"

His voice was calm and iron, but it also held a small tinge of something else. Something that pushed passed the stallion's ever present tone of knowing and stoicism.

"What has happened, my little pony?" Luna asked, forcing her anticipation down.

Again, she got no reply. Luna's mind began to suddenly grow anxious, Sinbad wasn't the kind of pony to waste time like this.

"Pull up last night's memories." Said Sin blankly.

Luna quirked a brow. "Your memo-"

She was cut off by Sin raising a hoof. What was it he wanted her to see?

"Pull them up, I know you can." He said simply. "I want you to see..."

Luna's eyes widened a little and she cast her magic. Allowing her to his dreams was one thing, but allowing her to his memories? This was not good.

As it had the last time she was here, a moving picture scene played out to their left and Luna's stomach dropped. Sin punched through a door to an old wooden building and saw something that made Luna's heart leap into her throat.

"No..." The Alicorn whispered in desperation, seeing a pair of fillies in pain and worse before her. Scootaloo lay on the floor, upon a plethora of broken shards of ceramic and glass, and Krystal... sweet, poor Krystal was...

The memory Sin shouted an obscenity and loosed a bolt, a red unicorn Luna remembered as Valiar brought up his flank and cast a spell from one of his stones. The bolt hit a unicorn mare in her shoulder and she screamed.

Luna knew these two ponies and Sin's statement and genuine hatred suddenly made sense to her.

As the battle raged between Sin, Valiar, Clover and Panzy, Luna's eyes were transfixed on Scootaloo and Krystal, the trauma each had sustained at the hooves of their captors, breaking her heart to watch.

The fighting didn't last long, a minute at most, if that, and Sin fell to Krystal's side.

It hurt, it hurt on so many levels. The desperation in his voice, the fragile hope and callings he'd given to her to awaken. Luna gulped as the memory showed Sin preforming CPR, trying to force the mare to breath.

""No, no you can't die here. You can't die! I- I owe you a train ride, remember? I promised you a ride on a train." He cried hopelessly.

Luna closed her eyes and looked away, it was too painful to watch.

Though, a slight pressure on her cheek pushed her head up and she opened her eyes.

"No." Sin stated. "You will see," he tilted her head to watch him give her another few breaths. "You will watch the consequences of our failures."

Luna didn't want to watch, she didn't want this at all. She'd visited Krystal many times in her dreams, and despite the appeals Luna had made to her, the amber eyed mare stood beside Sin and Scootaloo. And while her desire to travel about was a factor, her decision to continue with him was not for selfish gain, nor for any personal benefit. Krystal didn't have a selfish bone in her body, she was far too kind a mare who wouldn't hurt a fly, for that.

All she wanted to do was travel around and try to make life a little better for Scootaloo and Sin. And as Luna watched her lifeless form, she felt a small bit of herself wither with each passing second.

Time passed, the memory continued, and Luna felt all hope drain from her as Sin's actions became more and more frantic and desperate. His pattern of two breaths and fifteen beats had wavered a little, giving her three breaths and twenty beats one second, checking her heart and then one and a half breaths and ten beats.

He wanted so desperately to save her, to rectify the terrible thing that was done. Again and again he'd preformed the procedure, but no matter how many times he'd done it, the fallen pony just wouldn't breath on her own.

"Dammit!" The memory exclaimed, slamming his hooves down on Krystal's chest. "Tapio Dammit all! Not again! NOT AGAIN!"

Luna paused the memory, unable to bear it anymore. She tore away from Sin's hoof and wept for just a second, taking a moment to be selfish and indulge her pity.

Blame, they were both to blame for this. She was to blame for not stopping these psychopaths, and he was to blame for dragging those two into his sick and twisted revenge crusade.

Because of him, and because of her, a mare too kind for her own good was now lost from this world. Tortured, in pain, and likely begging for her own life.

"It's not over yet." Sin growled.

"We... we can bare no more!" Luna exclaimed, rubbing the tears from her eyes.

Sin walked forward to her, speaking with barely restrained anger. "And you think I could? I didn't have the luxury of pausing it, of making it stop because it was hard." He gripped her shoulder, spun her around, gripped tightly onto her other shoulder with his other fetlock and squeezed Luna to attention. "I didn't get to stop because I knew it was my fault. Now you will take responsibility and suffer as well!"

Luna's lip trembled under Sin's steely gaze and commanding tone and nodded.

She owed the white mare this much at least.

The memory started up again, and Sin returned to his works. Luna didn't know how much time had passed, her emotions were too busy screaming at her, condemning her for the actions and inaction she'd taken against the Trotski, actions that held desasterous consequences.

Luna's heart couldn't take anymore and her gaze shifted downwards, a pair of tears falling from her cheeks to the ground.

This wasn't what she'd intended in letting the Trotski live, but life wasn't about intent, it wasn't about what was wanted or needed. It was about consequences, results, the ends tha-

A slight cough.

Luna's ears perked.

Another cough, a feminine cough and gasp.

Tearing her eyes away from the floor, Luna's heart jumped with hope.

"Krystal?" Sin whispered, looking up to find the mare's once blank face now contorted. Her chest expanded roughly, and her breathing came in forced wheezes, but it was clear that she was breathing.

Luna let out a slow sigh of relief. Krystal was alive.

"We were lucky." Sin's intoned voice said, piercing through the Alicorn's solace. "CPR like that could have made her lungs explode or collapsed her chest. I think I'd gotten to her quickly enough to avoid any oxygen deprivation that would have damaged her brain."

Luna nodded in bleak understanding. The entire event wasn't nearly as long as it felt. Looking back, the whole memory start to finish was ten minutes or so. Ten painstaking minutes of Luna watching a pony she'd come to know more than most others, fight for her life. She'd visited Krystal's dreams most nights, usually to check up on Scootaloo and Sin's progress and relay information to Sombra and Soarin.

The pegasus was reluctant at first, not holding much care for the message Luna had to offer, but she was never nasty or unpleasant about it. Krystal's dreams were typically very happy and uplifting, and Luna enjoyed her company, as the sweet pony had come to enjoy hers.

It was a little sad in a way, that Luna found more of a connection with those who's mind she'd enter than those in the waking world, but then again it wasn't. Between all her royal duties, tasks, responsibilities, and obligations, it was nice to be somewhere such things didn't need to be considered. A serine place, away from the cold and harshness of a reality she fought tooth and hoof against every day.

"We need to get her to a hospital." The memory Sin declared, breaking the alicorn from her thoughts.

"No..." Krystal coughed, her breathing coming in strained wheezes. "No, no hospital. Scootaloo...."

The dream panned to find Scootaloo still standing dumbstruck where she was, blood littered her pelt and hooves, but Valiar was slowly removing the glass with his magic.

As the memory Sin tried to argue taking both of them to the hospital, the dream faded from view, leaving a silence in the empty void about.

"She's refusing to go and get treatment." Said Sin. " Valiar and I have them both bandaged, but she says that the ponies there will ask questions, and that Scootaloo might be taken away because of it."

Luna grimaced. Even now, just returned from the brink of death, Krystal's thoughts were on her friends and loved ones. Truely she was a remarkable mare. But she suspected that just showing her this wasn't the only aim Sin had for allowing her here.

That's when something else hit the alicorn, that entire scene was not anything like how she'd expect Sin to behave.

Luna narrowed her eyes down at the pony. That entire display was extremely uncharacteristic of him. Emotional, exposing genuine care and worry over safety, exertion and effort to save a life. She was convinced the stallion was stone hearted and narrow minded, what with the things he'd done to accomplish his goals; and yet the contrary was just demonstrated for her to see.

Even with the Nightmare within him, he still cared deeply for his companions. Desperation and genuine fear at losing one of them.

Then again, she'd been in his mind, she understood that he knew the pain of loss. She knew his darkness, and sympathized with it.

As expected, she was very much correct in her thinking. Sin wanted her to see the consequences of their mutual failures and demanded something of her that the Lunar pony had half heartedly expected, but knew she couldn't give.

"I want you to erase these memories from their minds. Both Krystal and Scootaloo. I don't want either of them to remember this."

Bitting her lip, Luna struggled with the idea. On one hoof, this was a terrible, traumatic tragedy. Something no well adjusted pony could go through and live a happy life after experiencing. On the other hoof, how many minds had she altered? How many memories did she have the right to change or expunge? It wasn't an ability she liked using, erasing memories. Not since Sin, Macintosh, Shade and Spike had she used it.

Such a thing was a very thin line in terms of morality, and not only that, but in terms of her own bounds and limits. She had the power to manipulate others through their psyches, yes. But ability did not grant right...

"After that." Sin continued. "I want you to erase me from their memories as well."

That drew Luna's attention. He wanted them not to remember him? Well, that made sense enough. Still though, that kind of memory alteration would take alot of time. Even the last month or two that the mare had been traveling with him, he was a constant in her life.

To remove Sin's existence from Krystal's mind would be easy enough, but erasing somepony completely while simultaneously keeping the memories in tact and sensical? That was much more difficult. It would require new memories to be created for every bit of time the memory holder knew or thought about them. An entire story to fill in the gaps with a narrative the memory holder would believe and would make sense in regards to the outside world. Otherwise, there would be a bunch of gaps of understanding, various experiences in life that would make absolutely no sense, and drive the pony mad trying to figure out why the influences and impacts were there.

Luna tried to explain this to him, to inform him about how long it would take to create that kind of chain and link both ends of the altered memories to the unaltered beginning and end, making the transition smooth as possible. To do that, not only to Krystal, but Scootaloo as well? Luna had never done anything like that before.

The closest she'd ever come was to drowning memories and stealing their emotional impact and overall relevance, or erasing the entire memory outright. For the span of a few hours at the most. To do that for a month? She couldn't see that ending well.

Sin wouldn't accept the answer, though.

"You realize what's happened to them, right?"

Luna nodded. "We do."

"And you're not going to help them? You're not going to correct the mistakes you've made?" He asked coldly.

Luna's teeth gritted as a fire rose in he chest. "The mistakes we have made. This was just as much your fault as it is ours."

Sin bore his teeth in a snarl, yet he didn't speak. They both knew the blame game wasn't a constructive one. Still, that did leave a problem to be fixed, and they both knew there was only one of them whom could help it.

This left the lunar pony in a very difficult position indeed, but one thing was certain, this was not something she would stand for. Krystal was too good for this, and Scootaloo already traumatized enough. She seriously considered erasing the night that both of them had suffered .

She wouldn't erase their memories of Sin, but Luna also wouldn't allow them to live with this kind of trauma.

"What lead to this?" Luna asked, setting aside her emotions for sake of objective build up.

Apparently, Sin had confronted one of the Trotski leaders outside that house and asked where the others were. This lead to a detailed, albiet reluctant, explanation on the fillies trying to stop Sin from doing any harm to them.

Sin lost all respect and righteousness with Luna the second she'd heard what he'd done to them once Smart Cookie had left.

"You... you monster!" Luna shouted, glaring down at the pony in anger. "How could you do that to them!?"

Sin pressed his lips, ears drooping slightly in guilt. "Yea, I guess I am a monster. A monster who did it to avoid this exact situation." He shook his head and looked away. "Failure that turned out to be."

Luna wanted to scream at him, to yell and rant and rave about how much of a hypocrite and manipulator he was to repremend her lack of actions to protect his companions while he had outright threatened to kill the very same ponies.

Alas, it was clear he understood the severity of his crime. No good would come from indulging anger now.

What happened next stole her moral authority right from under Luna's hooves. Soarin and Sombra, having seen the display had interfered, Sombra taking them away and leaving Soarin to engage Sin.

"I don't know what happened to them when Sombra took them away, but my guess is they made way back to the house where Panzy and Clover found them and..." Sin cleared his throat. "Sombra took them from me. I couldn't watch over them, I couldn't protect them because of him."

Luna gritted her teeth.

"I want you to make sure he sees that memory too. I want him to understand the consequences of his actions, and how I hold both he and Soarin just as responsible for this as I do the two of us." Sin said, the sharp point in his voice demanding obedience.

As much as Luna didn't like that idea, she also couldn't argue it. Sombra had a hoof in this, as did Soarin, but they were only doing what she'd instructed them to do... They both had to know that Krystal and Scootaloo were innocent bystanders in all of this.

She'd show them both the memory, but only for the sake of them both knowing be more careful with where they'd left the fillies, or any other collateral.

The explanation finished with Sin's capture by the Changelings, Valiar's rescue, and the deal the two had made to help one another solve each other's problems. Luna kept the changelings in the back of her mind for later use.

"But enough about that." Sin dismissed. "I want you to do whatever you need to do in order for both Scootaloo and Krystal to forget about all of this."

"Sinbad, we cannot just-"

"Yes. You. Can." The Federalist pushed. "You've done it before, and you can do it now..." He gulped, his cold eyes softening and easing to a submissive plea. "Please, both of them deserve better than this... Please, don't let them live with the worst life has to offer... Don't let them turn out like me."

That was a scary thought. Anypony turning out like Sin was the worst case scenario, even before he'd contracted the Nightmare.

"If." He continued, looking down at the ground. "If I turned myself in, right now and handed over the Nightmare, with the stipulation of a full pardon, would you do it?"

That was a tempting offer, still though, Luna couldn't accept for one simple fact, Sinbad, himself, was a grave threat. A threat to the interests of national security, a threat that would be in her grasp in due time. Sombra and Soarin had failed last night, but they would try again. As formidable as Valiar might have been, he had been bested by Captain Shining Armor, who had been bested by Sombra.

This also didn't even mention that Triple M had an interest in his return, an interest that would compromise her own life should it not be fulfilled.

"I'm sorry, but I will not."

"You bitch!" Sin shouted.

"BE SILENT!" Luna boomed, her eyes glowing white and sending forth a sudden gale of wind, making Sin stagger back a few steps. "Thou hast insulted us too oft! Now hold thy tongue, knave!"

She held her dominance for a few seconds longer, her resolve and confidence returning at the power she demonstrated. She wouldn't rewrite the memories of what happened for the past few months, for neither Krystal nor Scootaloo, but that didn't mean she had no intention to help ease their suffering.

The wind died down, slowly and the princess of the night's eyes returned to their normal teal. Her sense of desperation and guilt now repressed, Luna took control of the situation.

"We have given thy charges much pain, of that there is no doubt. Though, it is thou whom are just as responsible, and shall not so easily slither from thine obligations." Luna bellowed. She'd lost the Canterlot voice, but still kept to her olden tones. "If thou wishes to pursue the Trotski and jeopardize our aim in the protection of our country, than thou shalt face risk and consequence!"

It was a terrible ploy, one she'd not wanted to resort to, but the Trotski were a dangerous threat. If Sinbad cared about Scootaloo and Krystal as much as he let on, than she hoped trapping the two with him would force him away from the crusade, or slow him if nothing else.

Even after two months had passed, ponies remembered the changeling attack in Canterlot and whispers of doubt over the abilities of Luna and Celestia to protect them where wide spread. Every day, more and more ponies were listening to them, hearing their slander against the royal sisters over duties and responsibilities that few of them could ever hope to understand, let alone take upon themselves.

Ruling an Empire was anything but easy: the egregious and daunting decisions that impacted millions, the decisions that had potentially disastrous consequences, the burden of considering so many variables for economic oversight, the political and social impacts of policies that would please some and displease others. Decisions that could bring to ruin the entire country because intent was what was considered, not consequence.

National Security, international relations, the raise in criminal enterprises, managing large scale but local disasters. And those didn't even include the more supernatural events like an escaped draconequess or the return of an entire empire that was ruled by a maniacal tyrant bent on domination and submission!

None of them had a moon begotten clue about what they were asking for. Be it through pure democracy, an oligarchic republic, or a slow to crumble confederation.

It was in this volatile state that Luna could not risk losing the heads of the Trotski. She had sent infiltration agents to stop a few of their plots already. Plots that would have brought much harm and suffering to Equestria, plots that were foiled only by her knowledge gained through her proximity to the planners. Be it economic sabotage or outright violence, the Trotski were becoming more and more emboldened to move against her, and she couldn't let them get out of hoof now.

Despite Sin's nipping at their heels, the Trotski had been very busy these past few weeks with a rigorous campaign of sabotage. Disrupted trade routs with massive fires in imperially maintained forests, mixing rain clouds with salt water to ruin crops from government run cloud producers, attempts to infiltrate the guard and demonstrate incompetence and excessive force, and so many more potentially destabilizing and undermining conspiracies.

Part of her even suspected that the Trotski had a part to play in the Changeling invasion.

All of that, all of the pain, the potential famine, the burning land and ruined lives... all for the selfish purpose of undermining Celestia's rule in their foolish belief in ponies ruling themselves.

The Buffalo conflict back in Appleloosa was one of the more mild forms of terrorism and manipulations the group had been pushing for, and Luna wouldn't allow the horrors that befell the few to override the pain of millions.

Even if those horrors were life rendering.

It was a hard choice she had to make as a leader and ruler, but it was she that needed to make it. It would be pointless to explain this to the Federalist, he was a believer in the Centaurian ways. That strength was gained through pain and hardship, that she would need allow these acts of terror for her little ponies to become hardened to them, and act for themselves in accordance.

But allowing suffering was not something a ruler and leader was permitted to do.

"We shall do what we can to help ease the suffering of Scootaloo and Krystal." Luna said, glaring down at Sin. "But we shall not take them from you. You may not believe that our allowing the Trotski to live right, but we have spared hardships beyond your comprehension because of it, and we will continue to do so. If having them at your side deters you from giving chase, than they are yours."

Sin didn't reply to that, he merely looked at her with a snarl of loathing.

"We have a contact in Baltimare, a healer of great skill. She is able to repair flesh and muscle damage with ease, and we shall send her to tend to your friends."

A small wave of relief went over Sin, but it was quick enough to almost miss.

"And what of their memories?" He asked.

"We shall do what we are able and permitted." Luna replied, and she would, but she would not erase him. "Now, as foolish as it may be, we must ask again that you abandon your quest and return to Canterlot. Even from here, we can sense the growing vile stench of the Nightmare and the Tantabus upon you."

Sin looked up at her slack jawed, as if she'd just smacked him in the face. "After this? After what they've just done? You'd honestly ask me to stop?"

Again, sympathy reared into the lunar pony, but she saw an opportunity with it.

"Sin." Luna said, forcing all hostility away and speaking in a gentle voice. "We know you are angry, that you are hurt and afraid. That your fear for Macintosh's safety and the well being of your friends is another goal that you strive for-"

"Then why aren't you stopping them?" Sin asked, his face just as terrified as hers was gentle. "You've seen how brutal they are, how can you let them get away with this?"

Luna's eyes hardened for a moment, long enough to explain that she had no intention to let them "get away" with what they've done. In truth, she wanted hold them down in one place and allow Sin to do as he wished. Unfortunately for him, that was not how the rule of law worked. Vigilante justice never brought anything but a continued cycle of retaliatory violence. And even if she did allow their deaths, new Trotski, perhaps even more ambitious ones, would arise to take their place.

"It would be pointless to explain to you." Luna said, her tone flat.

Sin clenched his teeth in frustration, his body trembling with emotion.

"You care about them." Luna said, expecting some sort of snark about how the words pointed out the obvious.

But the off handed comment didn't come, nothing came but a small sigh of resignation and a nod from the brown pony before her.

"Tell me, Sinbad. What happens after you kill Puddinghead?" Luna asked.

The stallion frowned and looked up at her. "What?"

"When they're dead. Puddinghead, Panzy, Clover and Smart Cookie. What happens then?"

Sin looked down in thought for a moment. "Umm, I don't understand what you're asking."

Luna brought up the point that, when the leaders fell, somepony would step up to take their place. Somepony who'd likely desire vengeance against Sin himself for what he'd done. If not other members of the organization, than family or friends of those slain by the Federalist's hooves.

"You may kill one yes, but then another comes. Fueled by the rage of your actions."

"Then I kill them." Sin stated.

"And then more come, and so you kill them, and then more come to avenge that lot, and then more for the lot you'll have to kill again. And this shall continue on until, eventually, they kill you." Luna said, before looking left and summoning the picture of Krystal and Scootaloo again, "or those close to you."

Sin's eyes widened a little as he took in the picture for a moment and ground his teeth.

In spite of her own words, Luna had allowed some of her influence to spread into the pony's mind. She released magic to force him to ease his defenses, a small, psychological influence that would chip at his reason and bare himself in a way that would make convincing him to stop easier.

He'd sacrificed others before to do what he thought was right, it was Luna's hope that, if she could play on that, he wouldn't do so again. It was a painful struggle to see, one Luna herself had dealt with for so long. Trying to balance fairness with doing what was right. Balancing justice and mercy, long term interest and short term gains.

While he may have acted foolishly, Luna wasn't about to make the mistake of thinking the pony a fool. There was common ground here, and an understanding could be reached.

"You were a politician in your country," the alicorn stated sagely, earning Sin's weary eye again. "You know what it is like, having to sacrifice to do what is right, to be in the position of power and responsibility, to be pushed back against time and time again by the very citizenry you're trying to protect."

She rose her head to look down on him squarely. "I have seen your memories, I know the decisions you had to make, the sacrifice that haunts you." She placed a hoof onto his shoulder. "But I ask you now, my little pony, don't you believe you've done enough?"

Sin had flinched at her mention of the sacrifice, knowing whom she meant by it. She watched with sadness as the stallion seemed to wither a little under her touch.

"I'm tired, Luna." Sin said, barely above a whisper. He looked up, revealing his eyes to be sunken in far too much for a pony his age. "I've been tired for longer than I can remember."

"Then you must rest." The Alicron replied somberly. She'd managed to keep the small bit of pain from her voice. He may have been a threat, but he was still a pony. A pony whom she ultimately planned to betray. She didn't like it, she had no right to do any of this to him, but that was what needed to be done.

"Yea." Sin answered. "Maybe I do."

Silence befell the two, each holding to their own thoughts for a moment. Luna wished she knew what Sin was thinking, but in order to do that, she wouldn't be able to be here to keep him company. He was a crafty and clever sort, easily capable of feigning emotional consciousness if he needed to.

"I shall let you think on this for a few days." Luna declared, spreading her wings and taking flight. "I must see to your friends."

Luna turned about and made way for the edge of the dreamscape to see to Krystal, but a sudden thought struck her and she turned back. "Oh, and Sinbad." She called. "The healer we shall send is, how shall we say, eccentric. We ask that you temper your patience."

Sin gave her a quizical look, but the Alicorn didn't answer his silent question. Instead, she gave him a small smile and, in a blink of light, disappeared from the white room.

Author's Note:

Condemning those in power is so easy.

4th Metahole

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