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A tale of the Seven Days in Sunny June universe.

Originally started by The Quiet Party.


Once, when they were children, Rundown knew Debonair Lace.
But that was back before his dad's stupidity caused his family's fall from grace.

Now, living in the slums of Sunny Town, Rundown pines for Debonair from afar, wondering if she even remembers him. It doesn't help that he knew she was one of the girls affected by the Vibe incident.

Still, he wants to get to know her again and tell her how he feels.
But what chance does a loser at Sunny Town High have with a girl like her?

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 20 )

I. am. impressed as hell.

Looking forward to reading this!

8937739
Oh, wow - you made my day with just saying that! Thanks!

Indeed, this is truly top notch. I look forward to seeing where you go with the story.

Also "her tits were just vertical pyramids" is one of the funniest lines I've seen in a long time.

Love this!

Looking forward to more of it!

Have a Fave, a Track and an upvote from me on a job well done!

Finally got a chance to read this and I must echo the sentiments of my fellow 7DSJ authors: this has significantly exceeded my expectations. The characters are all so believably flawed and there is plenty of potential for drama and intrigue. My only criticism is there’s a number of typos and incorrectly used words throughout, for instance:

“Thanks, Mom,” he told her, getting out of bed and making a beehive to the bathroom to get ready.

The actual expression here is “making a beeline”. Regardless, this is all stuff easily remedied with a second set of eyes, and I’m sure any one of us would be happy to preread this for you. Keep up the good work!

An excellent followup entry chapter! If I may ask, do you have a set schedule for when you'll be uploading?

8940532
As I get them done, really.

Good chapter, but...you really need an editor. I've noted several errors you made (you have "a second girl" twice when one should be a third girl) and there's some awkward phrasing.

Not saying that you should have us do your editing (though we wouldn't mind), but I strongly suggest an editor. They make your life easier.

8941151
Second.

And yeah, this chapter has set up some very interesting things. Can’t wait to see how it plays out!

8941247
Um … I actually have an editor. :twilightblush:

Good start so far, looking forward to see where you take the story!

Looks really good so far, Dev.

Can't wait to see what you do with it from here!

Solid chapter, got some promising developments. I did, however, notice quite a few errors. For example:

There is no reason to have them you dipshit, a voice that he guessed was only his conscious speaking. Well there was reasons, but none that actually helped his case for being on the right side of justice and perhaps the law.

"conscious" should be "conscience", and "was" should be "were". There's more, but I'm at work and don't exactly have time to go through them all. Regardless, the errors are all minor enough that they don't really take away from enjoyment of the story. Good luck with the rest of this!

9500788

Had a feeling I would miss things like this (and also some word choices like 'justice' there).

Fixed. Thanks!

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