Gundamdragon
Joined 17th Jun, 2012 ·
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You might want to get yourself an editor.
I like the choice of Sabaton music for the video, and the concept behind the story, but you really need a proofreader. This was a slog to read, with misspellings, clunky wording, and the occasional malapropism.
8923004
8922975
I have one he was busy in rl ill have him go over it and the next chapter. I do use a auto correct while typing but it helps only so much.
8923369
Oh! my bad. At least you've got your Default Groups set to off. ^^
8923382
Default groups?
Oh my goodness I am going to LOVE this!
Buddy if you finished the story you should have called me or woken me up to edit right off the bat even in the description I have already found 5 errors just spelling alone if you need to interrupt me as long as I'm not in the middle of actual work it's fine to ask me to edit
Oh boy. Dark Moon could use some back up from what it sounds like. Any room for a request to send an idea? Also I'm loving this story. I can't wait for more!
8953407
Yes but I have something planned. Pm ideas please.
Oh my goodness this update rocked and I a so eager for more!
8953862
will there be a gundam? it can's be possible due to how powerful one is
8963252
Several and the gouf is equal in power to the base model gundam rx-79 and rx-79 g ground type as well as the mudrock the flight type actually has advantage in mobility to most gundam types from uc timeline.
8963290
oh yea, also hope to see the powered GM cardan as an ally.. I hope
8963290
wait.. "SEVERAL"?!?!
8963573
Yes in fact the final battle at the end will be a lot of gundams how many and witch ones not telling.
8969294
g..gundams.. gundams.. everywhere.. *faints*
8969318
I remind his suit was designed as a anti-gundam weapon.
8969350
*recovers* oh, right
8970517
But on that note it was based on one year war and wing weapons. Ill give you guys a hint at the next enemy suits.
"The king and his men
stole the queen from her bed
and bond her in her bones
The seas be ours
by these powers
Where ever we will will rome
Heave how thieves and beggers
Hoist the colors high.
Heave how all together
Never shell we die."
If you can guess the suits in chapter 4 (3is done waiting on editor) pm me
8923369
While you're at it, get him to look at the synopsis, too. Also, what's a char Zaku?
8993774
Right I will and chars zaku refers to a ace pilot and his customized suit often called the red comet.
What the hell did the English language do to deserve such treatment?
9128391
9128394
If you don't like it don't read it no one is forcing you.
Damn, well it appears things are progressing rapidly and Chrysalis was handled surprisingly easily.
9135483
There is a reason for that, and trust me things are just getting started. Also this is a displaced story. While the toke stuff will not be till the end of the main ark. I am willing to do answered summons for other displaced stories that will get linked from this one in a latter chapter.
I really want Dark Moon to end up being a Gundam underneath the Gouf(?) armor.
"Unicorn Gundam: -Dark Moon- Custom!"
9165451
Nope not happening the dark moon dose have some gundam parts but the base is a mass production suit.... ok limited production ace suit. But the flight type is a proven gundam killer in the uc time line. It was also a match to the rx 78 line of gundam's in performance just like the doms, Efreit, Gelgoog, and Kampher where. Late ware suits on the universal parts plan had caught up to gundam base model that's why of the 10 bigot only three of the rx 78 gundam survived the war not counting the ground combat gundam built from leftover rx 78 parts
9165739
Well, there goes what I had planned.
9165767
Yeah but that makes Trixie and Dark Moon that more badass
Cells? Is it feels?
9180457
Where do you mean?
9180463
In the description
Or what is it called now
9180473
Ok thanks how me and my editor miss that?!
NEW FRIENDS!!! YAY!! AND A FUCKING CROSSBONE GUNDAM!! and I am very happy this story lives!
9649760
Thank you sorry for long wait I have google docs now so ill try and get things running faster on all my stories. The next chapter is about 3 times the size of this one over 36 pages and not even done.
9649778
Good to see you back. I like this story alot, even with the grammer mistakes. Because I belive something. I belive that one can get diamonds out of coal, but no matter how you polish it a turd is still a turd. You have a diamond, the rest will come with practice. Look forward to the next update.