- Member Since 14th Apr, 2015
- offline last seen 19 minutes ago
CapNTilfy
A lovable goofball who delights in spreading positive vibes and writing stories. =3 (AKA Orangie1984 of Derpibooru!)
CapNTilfy
Joined 14th Apr, 2015 ·
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CapNTilfy · 7.2k words · 40 3 · 1.8k views
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Why is this one rated M?
8863063
Profanity, mainly.
Did NOT see that coming!
8863471
MUHAHAHAHAHA!
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!!
8863667
What can I say, I love a good plot twist! =D
Wow. I don't think I've ever read a story with Rainbow dropping so many F-bombs.
8863753
Well, she does seem to be the swearing type. Besides, wouldn't you freak out if you found out your next opponent was your school's principal? =P
A fourth wall break AND an amazing plot twist. I am impressed.
So, were these game results random?
8863827
Thanks! =)
8863830
No, not this time around. I wanted Rainbow and Principal Celestia in the final match.
8863120
Does swearing really require an M rating?
What have you done, what have you done?
8865148
Honestly, not sure. But since this fic was loaded with F-bombs, I thought it made sense.
8865201
Wait and see.
Was not expecting so much profanity, but that's RD for you! :D
I love this story, and the whole series, for that matter! And all the swears make Rainbow so much more awesome!! XD
8878949
Indeed! =)
8878960
Thank you! =)
I did not see that coming.
8865148
Not really, generally T.
M usually implies sexual situations and\or implications, or gore.
Huh. Honestly was trying to work out who was a certified public accountant till the end.
Why would she care if Pinkie saw her? I’m reasonably certain that Pinkie would want everybody at every party if it could be managed and raves aren’t something I would think Dash would be worried about being uncool.
Your ass is grass
Like I said your ass is grass
man Sour Sweet must be really pissed off, first losing out at skip rope, now whatever game this is LOL
I almost died laughing.
I loved that little list of gamertags. It's good to know that Crackle and The Smooze are online lol
9161224
Just a couple of fun easter eggs.
Missed a few spaces here.
Also, how could Dash have confused a text message with another robo-call? Doesn't she have two different ringtones for calls and texts like everyone else in the world?
You want advice on how to write people playing a video game? Well, okay then.
I'm assuming that Rainbow Dash is playing a fighting game, since there seemed to be a tournament and every round was always 1v1.
So, in order to write footage for a round of fighting, you need to KNOW fighting games. Most games feature different characters with different movesets, ranges, and hitboxes for all of their attacks. Some characters have more defense than others, while others have low defense and high attack power, and some professionals can make it really complicated by knowing exactly how many frames each part of an attack lasts for, how much base damage and knockback it does, and other things like that.
From there, if you have a true understanding of how fighting games work, you can write a proper match where the characters exploit weaknesses, evade properly, or accidentally make a wrong move, resulting in them getting combo'd. Sometimes it might help to use a real game as a reference, but try to avoid outright dropping the game's title in order to avoid ruining the immersion.
For example, at the risk of sounding like a guy who's shamelessly promoting my own story, during Twilight's chapter of my series, Twilight and her boyfriend were playing a rocket barrel level from one of the "Donkey Kong Country Returns" games. They even mentioned the fact they they lost two lives every time the barrel blew up, which was a legitimate complaint that I had with the game that can add an extra sense of relatability for other readers who who have played it before.
Really, you just need to have a good understanding of what game you're writing, and then the rest is all details.
However, details might be difficult for you due to your self-imposed requirement to make every chapter as close to 1,000 words as possible.
I don't understand why you insist on doing that, but that's your choice, I suppose.
9163333
Fixed! Also, she put her phone on vibrate.
9163388
I changed that self-imposed rule a while ago. I've become more flexible with it. =)
Edit: I wrote a whole chapter about a character playing in a video game tournament a while back, and it's the longest one I've written yet!
9163561
This is why I'm so hesitant to comment on older fics... I never know whether my constructive criticism is still valid or not lol
9163572
No worries, I don't mind. =)
SunnyDisposition_CPA would be disappointed.
Umm, I think you mean eyelids. Pulling on her eyes sockets would require her to remove her eyes first.
9165405
News to me. Thanks for the catch! =)
8863677
Why didn't you make it Zephyr Breeze? And have him beat her?
10474168
Because I already had Principal Celestia in mind.
I did not think Celestia was a gamer