A Sadder Canterlot Wedding

Just days after the events of the wedding Twilight and friends are called back to the palace. Celestia has taken ill and now it is a race against time to find a cure. Will they succeed? Or will tragedy strike so soon after a happy event? And how will Twilight handle the challenges to come?

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 10 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 10
- Newest First
- Oldest First

jagvenne123

jagvenne123 #1 · Feb 25th, 2018 · · · Prologue Just Another Day ·

first comment

Redwalllover28

Redwalllover28 #2 · Feb 25th, 2018 · · · Prologue Just Another Day ·

8757758
What do you think of the story?

jagvenne123

jagvenne123 #3 · Feb 25th, 2018 · · · Prologue Just Another Day ·

8759015
i think it's good and that you should continue it.

Redwalllover28

Redwalllover28 #4 · Feb 26th, 2018 · · · Prologue Just Another Day ·

8759267
I am. Just working on some other stories as well. But it will be updated soon.

EverfreePony

EverfreePony #5 · Jan 2nd, 2019 · · · Prologue Just Another Day ·

This is an interesting idea and I'm curious how it's gonna continue. I also really like the little details, references and original ideas here and there, like the strain put on Celestia having to operate two celestial bodies or Rarity and the bride's bouquet It is also clearly written with the intention of the story being for everyone, not just those with detailed knowledge of the show, albeit I feel this also means that a good portion of this chapter is full of bits of exposition, making it harder to hook the reader.

Where the story falls a little short--and what is the most likely reason not many people have read it--is grammar. Now, there are some recurring issues in missing or incorrectly used punctuation, plus the lack of use of uppercase letters in titles. Honestly, I feel the ordinary reader would ignore that, but then there dozens of random grammatical errors all over the text and those hamper the enjoyment of the story pretty heavily. However, that is something a good editor could easily fix. And if you wish, I can offer my help there