• Published 23rd Jul 2012
  • 1,264 Views, 83 Comments

The Loss - Writer12577



A story about how everything just goes wrong in the life of a certain grey pegasus mare.

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12
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The Afterwords

It had been twenty years. Twenty long, painful years. Dinky had been only a little school filly when it had happened. First she had been taken away from her mother, and then she had been informed that her mother had died in a horrible accident. Though the accident had turned out to be planned later on.


Suicide is not a common thing among the ponies. It is often considered to be the last possible way. It is horrifying for the close ones to know that the one they loved had been forced to make such a decision.


Dinky had never noticed it. Her mother was always in good mood. It must have been horrible to push all the negative things all back, and keep smiling. Dinky felt like a total idiot now. She hadn’t noticed the signs. She had been young, though, but she still should have done something.


She had blamed it all on the others. She had been angry to the ones who treated Derpy badly. She had been mad at the Health and Care center for taking her away. She had been mad at the Rental Services for taking their house after so little time.
______

The funeral had been quiet. Two ponies had been present. Dinky had been there, despite the fact she was still extremely young to see her own mother be buried. And Rainbow Dash had been there, still remaining loyal to one of her oldest friends.


It had been merely just a few words from Dash, and Dinky landing a muffin on the chest of her mother. The grave had been sealed later that night.
______

Dinky had never got over it. The pain was always there. She couldn’t get the thoughts out of her head. And maybe it was for the best. This way Derpy would be remembered, at least for some time.


Dinky turned her glance from the simple stone slab that was standing in the eastern corner of the cemetery into the beautiful sky. The sun was setting, casting a heavenly light above the grave of the desperate mare.


Dinky stood there, staring at the sight for hours, knowing that her mother had witnessed the same gorgeous sunset twenty years ago.


“Someday…” was all she said.


“Someday…”

Comments ( 60 )

What can I say? I had no options! This was digging me from inside from the second I got the idea!

Oh, yeah, sorry for saying "I wont be writing until Wednesday".

And if I may, I curse my brain for making me work on my technically-vacation.

:unsuresweetie:..... well could have been worse...

958795
Let the feel take the control...

958957 Mwahahahahhahhahahahahhahahahahahha....
All shall perish....

Your gramar is OK. you sometimes changes time in the centences, but that is not much of a problem. There is also a few spelling mistakes here and there. nothing ro be ashamed of. I do these kinds of mistakes myself :twilightsmile:

The story and the plot is a bit overused, but it is better to go safe than fail completely with your first fic. some parts of it also seem a bit rushed. I would overally call this a good first fic.
just one thing. wouldn't this story be suited for "slice of life" tag?
are you also implying that dinky considers suicide in the end?
you got 4 spikes and a green thumb from me.
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

It was good, very descriptive compared to the original reading.
But I really did want to see something a little 'happier', or at least bittersweet. I mean, yeah, life can't be perfect, but meh. I added you on Steam, by the way!

959274
I blame it on my writing style. I make the start and the ending, and then start mixing stuff together. So, that causes me these, "Past-Current-Past"-problems.

Yes, it's fairly overused. At lest I didn't do Octavia X Vinyl, eh?

Slice of life, maybe. I'll see about that. (though, suicide isn't quite of a everyday problem.)

Now when I look at my text, you can see Dinky's thoughts that way. But no. I'm not killing her. She's just saying that when her time comes, they'll reunite.

And thanks for the Spikes, now I just need to find a place to store them...

959996
Sad fic, sad ending. But I'll spoiler you for a bit. Next fic forming up in my head. It will be happier and will have Scootaloo.

960400
Well, am I glad to see you here. I had troubles like that before I found MLP. So I'd say that MLP isn't just a great show, but also a life-saver.

960529
I second that.



And when I'm still able to use my computer, I'd personally like to thank all of you. You made me write more.

960400 if you want to jump badly enough, it wil work. that is the only good thing about that technique. you find out if you REALLY want to take the final step :applejackunsure:

looks like that makes two of us. except i could not find anything high and remote enough. i found 2 things that worked for me. 1: mlp and 2: sports shooting. it is ironic, i know :derpyderp2:

962945
Wow. Survivors club united present?

And yeah. Just clear your mind, select a cliff or anything that's high enough, and jump.

Though you can do it faster by just going to your local pub and starting to annoy the most drunk group. One of them will have a gun for sure.

962634
:yay::yay::yay::yay:
Scootaloo is best filly!
I hope you know I'm still interested in writing with you.

962954 yeah. i am pretty sure that wil happen in Norway. We even need to get cleared by the police. To get cleared, we have to prove that we need a gun :rainbowlaugh:
oh wel, life is not that bad now. besides, a 6.5x55 is more effective than any mountain :eeyup:

962968
Yup.

But I'll see about that tomorrow. The vacation got slightly moved (Curse you rain!), so I'm able to be here lurking, but we're leaving as soon as it stops raining.

962978
Oh, hiya there neighbor! Terveisiä Suomesta!

And true there. Firearms > Mountain > Cliff > Starving to death on your sofa because your favorite show is having a 1-week marathon and you forgot to bring snacks.

962982
Ah! That's some shit. Will get on Main PC soon, we can speak via Steam.

Sad. As. Fuck. Wow. R.I.P. :derpytongue2:

1073772

Oh no! My weakness!

Seriously, now when The tale of the Slenderman is done, I'm hoping that I would have put more effort to this one.

I like to think that this one had potential. But now when I look at it it's rushed and the complete picture is blurry from times to times.

But I do admit it was sad. This was hard to write, and not just on the level of making enough catchy content.

1073802 Have sad emoticons for your effort in the saddness. :fluttercry::fluttershysad::raritycry::raritydespair::pinkiesad2::pinkiesick::applecry::ajsleepy: (They make sense)

1073818

Sense is present. In a sad way.

(This is no good for the comedy I'm working on as we speak...)

1073830 Comedy? Oh, shit, I have to get back to writing mine! :twilightoops:

1073836

What can I say?

After I saw how you people reacted to The tale of the Slenderman (And after I enjoyed writing it so much) I just can't stop stuffing my thoughts into the sheet of virtual paper.

And I'm turning lyrical now. North Korea planned this.


And good luck with yours! Expect me to appear to the comments when you get it up!

1073847 The Russians helped plan it.

1073858

Oh you bet they did!

Lurking in the woods...

Slendy.
Russians.
North Koreans.
And occasional tourists so the above three wont come rampaging to the city.

1073875 Speaking of Slendy, I found another one that you may have read already: Slender I can see it, in the forest. Watching me, following me, stalking me. It is... the North Korean!

1073902

Speaking of Slendy, I have been extremely busy to keep up with my reading while writing that fic of mine.

But thank you for linking that. Shame that it was a short one. Potential was present.

1073936 I know, right? There should have been a chapter about Luna destroying the pillar and what happens afterward. But, we got Trollestia'd with a cliffhanger. :trollestia:

1073949

Yup.

Revenge?

But how?

North Korea.

Now just how do we harness the endless powers of the North Koreans?

1074046 Turn their own propaganda against them! :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy:

1074066

A perpetual motion.

They use energy to create propaganda and turn it against themselves.

And then they convert the negative energy caused by the unapproved propaganda to regular energy in order to create more.

"Brain? You ready?"

1074194 Reverse propaganda-ing the North Koreans yet?

1080759

Been a bit busy lately...

And there is a slight little thing:

The North Koreans are sneaky things. I haven't been able to catch one yet...

1085315 Are the Russians easier to catch? :trixieshiftright:

1088561

You'd think so...

But sneaky. Slow but so sneaky!

1091390 Lure them out with vodka :pinkiehappy:

1093128

But I have only seen Finlandia-vodka here. And the Russians won't go and touch any other vodka than pure Russian.

1097380 Import it then? No, that'll take weeks. Your only option is to hope you get lucky and find a North Korean.

1099448

Yeah...

But never fear, because ideas be brilliant!

I'll dress up as the beloved leader. When they see me, they'll come out to worship the beloved leader. And then I'll catch them!

1103245 Give them Ponymon Dawn/Dusk version to play. I played Dawn last night and it was incredible. Need to download visual boy advance to open it though. And it's only in the Alpha. Must have more! :flutterrage: Seriously, go find it if you don't have it already. Look it up on Youtube, or whatever. It's incredible.

1103245 Lure them out...

with Snipez and the worst choice for a starter that he could have made!

1106728

At first I was like
i.imgur.com/nxHxx.jpg

But then I was like
i.imgur.com/BiO7J.jpg

And then I just watched the whole video.


Seriously, I've NEVER played any game that involved Pokemon. I have seen a couple of episodes, but at those good 'ol times I just kept playing stuff like Crash Bandicoot...

1108268 At this point, they're just running Pokemon dry to get more money. It's not even that good anymore. But yeah, Crash was a great game character. But, what pisses me off is that you have to install so many programs into Ponymon. The other night I got my little Rainbow Dash up to like, level 18 before I realized that I never installed the saving system. :facehoof: Anyway, I started my story last night and the prologue is just about finished. :pinkiehappy:

1109006

:facehoof: indeedy.

Great to hear that the story is rolling well!

As of a little update of my work:

- The sequel has 5,5k words and growing.
[Spoiler Alert]
- The My little ______ : Explosions are Magic is at first chapter, 1,5k words. (:3) (This is hopefully going to be a loooong one:twilightsmile: Ideas just popping up at such speeds that I can't write them all down.)
- The Scootaloo-related story I promised to do before the Slendy one is at 3k words.
- The Celestia and Luna comedy is at 2k words. This is the one that I'm going to finish the last. Ideas just not flowing in.
[/Spoiler Alert]

And I'm trying my best to get at least one of those up next week.

1114587 And I thought I was making progress. :pinkiegasp:

1115387

And I thought that I should be making progress...

So, what have I done today? Lying on the bed, doodling ponies and not paying a single thought towards the huge stack of work that virtually awaits me in front of my beloved desktop.

And the stories are just a small part of that huge stack...

1115522 ......Just keep doodling.

1118650

I might even...

But it's Monday. I have work to do.

Will see about that when the stack has disappeared. (Now where did I put my trashcan...)

1121498 You left it outside. It was full of mineral water bottles. :rainbowlaugh:

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