• Member Since 25th Aug, 2017
  • offline last seen June 27th

TehSpy1


Hi! I'm sonic3186. I enjoy writing about random ships that I like! I hope to improve on my writing skills later on, and I appreciate any constructive criticism! ^-^

E

Twilight can't stop thinking about Tempest. Tempest can't stop thinking about Twilight. What does this result in? A slightly "more-than-friendly" meetup between friends.

Contains Twilight X Tempest and will have a lot of snuggles and fluff in!

Chapters (1)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 11 )

Did you copy my story, Opening Her Eyes? Literally half of the story is the same as mine!

8738142
I can assure you that I definitely did not! My apologies if it seemed that way! I've PM'ed you in regards to this.

Sorry for the confusion! ;-;

8738142 Having read both I can assure you these are not the same. The vague plot of Tempest meets up with Twilight,Talk about her past and snuggle is similar but key things like the back story in yours is just fannon and the backstory in this is accurate to the movie.

Its fluff about fluff with a vague plot as an excuse for fluff. Dont read to much into it.

This is great. The world needs more Tempestlight.

hhhhmmm nice, but it could have been much longer, it feels like it just needed to be slightly longer, maybe around 2.500 words instead or (1500?)
I thought I would ask for a sequel and maybe I would still like one, but it would have to be a bigger story and maybe something lighthearted and nothing to serious to continue the feel of this story.

8738142
The way you ask I have to say, not the half is not copying the story. It probably happens far to often that a similar idea is used and some even are written similar.

8752311
I don't think a sequel would be appropriate for this type of story. I think I like the ending just the way it is, and no sequel is required. But if I get some more requests, maybe I'd consider it. For now, though, I like the story as it is and feel as if it doesn't need any changes.

As for the word count, I agree. Maybe it could've been a bit longer. :moustache:

8754227
I just noticed it often starts to feel more complete around that amount of words.
Well then I just wait till a sequel either happens or not, but thank you for the reply.

8754557
No problem! Thanks for your comment. :3

As mentioned by Texus, this story could have benefited from being longer. The ending arrives quite abruptly and the cost is a too-sudden shift in emotions from anticipation to arrival.

Succinctly put: More build up to the conclusion would make this story much stronger.

As it is, it's an adequate piece of fluff, albeit well-written for the parts that are present. And I think it says something that the chief concern is that the readers wanted more content.

8856444

Got it. Thanks for the criticism, much appreciated! Re-reading it now, I can definitely see where you're coming from.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!