Chapter 14
One would be mistaken, upon evaluation, to believe that the lack of fresh damage to the roadway meant Princess Luna had landed lighter. As a matter of fact, she had landed close to twice as hard- but her Royal Armor has spells in it, designed for hard landings, that negated her velocity at the moment of impact.
The front door is a different story. Whereas Rainbow had paused- however momentarily- to make sure it was open, Princess Luna made no such check. As a result, fragments of it can be found across the lobby. Nurse Readheart manages to save the next door in her path by having it open; the Princess soars over her head in a blur of navy blue. She might walk through doors, but ponies she will detour around.
Finally, the door into the ward is saved by the simple merit of being left open from when Rainbow entered. The loaded armor stand grasped in one hoof wobbles its way to a halt on one side of the bed while the Princess screeches into place on the other side.
“SISTER!”
Princess Celestia startles awake, letting out a pained yelp when this torques her injuries. “Wha… Luna?”
Luna, her faceplate already standing open, bows her head. “I thought you dead.”
Celestia blinks, smiling weakly from her mattress. “I thought you dead.”
“That would explain the sun.”
“What about the moon?”
“Ahh… The centaurs managed to start their curse right before I teleported home. I took him down- hardly a week to full health.”
“Then how…?” Her reviving eyes cast themselves down at her armor… and weapons.
Luna glances down at herself. “Hope. That wall Discord summoned… It’s moving, and fighting for us.” She smiles. “The war’s as good as won.”
“And that…?” A faint hoof gesture, immediately followed by a wince.
“The armor? Hope provided it… It goes overtop my Royal Armor.” She glances back at the big black thing- the one that had shredded everything she pointed it at. “It ran out of arrows.”
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Rather abrupt way to end it, to be honest. It seems like it just got started and the situation just reached a balance shift.
Rather than ending right here, maybe you should consider handling the story so far as Act 1, or Arc 1.
Then you can keep the same story page and also not leave a reader with a very strange sudden stop.
Something to consider.
I eagerly wait for the thrilling sequel!!
Keep up the amazing work!!
I think you meant to use died instead of dead
But regardless I hope to see that sequel soon, keep up the great work
Great story and I eagerly wait the sequel.
for your idea demand, I think what matter the most is gathering resource and establishing a new capital for the ponies to regroup into. For the first one I recommend the everfree, it's near ponyville and so close to the field were rarity dig out gemstone and we're there's gemstones there's ores, also the forest as a river for water and the trees provide food and carbon for carbon fiber and the monster will offer a natural shield as long as a few spider dig a underground system reaching the forest border all the way from the castle wiche will both give him ressource and allow entrance to ponies and Allies. beside the castle of the two sister is publicly known to ponies who once informed of the princess being their will be able to regroup around it. The castle can easily be repaired with simple rock and even be 'upgraded' later. It'l also be a familiar environment for the princesses and the mane six to regain their bearings. Finally once the base is set it's time to prepare the pony force to war, even if hope is strong he cannot be everywhere at once and with its armor severely damaged entering frontal battle against a fortified city or dragon(if some appear) would be pretty bad if he is alone. That way you can introduce some named pony who will remain as leader and higher ranked and the reconstruction of the chain of command give a good reason to explain what happened to many background pony we knew like spitfire flash sentry agent Sweetie drop etc.
This is just a basic frame I thought would look both interesting and rational for the ponies situation but I'm sure whatever you do will be enjoyable if it follow up with 'an alloyed hope' thought more development on the pony observation and more explanation of what hope is doing would be great, I think we all agree we like seeing pony amazed by hope.
8818001
It has to be said in a specific way to make sense.
Like from a movie or something... some kinda tone behind the way you have to say it makes it make sense.
The ending huh? That was... unexpected.
I am thinking refounding the nation as well. This really sounds like a good start to a BiE (I think that ought to be the official acronym because it's funny) story, but there's not really that much that happened yet.
That sequel, once started, should really be part of the same story...
8861855
Okay. I see that you are either a really dedicated fan, or wasted ten minutes looking that up. Either way, cool.
BRING ME THE SEQUEL OR I WILL HAVE YOUR HEAD!!!! Now don't say I didn't warn you.
8971308
I wish I felt like I could write a sequel without having it go the way of the dodos before it finishes...
I still haven't come up with a good idea for its plotline.
Get Celestia and the other ponies armored and then blow everything straight to hell in an explosion so massive and powerful, even Chuck Norris can't survive, as impossible it may seem.
8971869
You’re welcome to write that one-shot if you want, but that’s really all it’ll be woth, so I’m afraid I won’t be writing it.
8972176
Nah, I have other plans for fanfictions. Also I don't think I could write as well as you
8972237
Okay.
And it might serve you and others to know, I have acquired an idea for the sequel. No promises, though- I need to make sure it’s an idea that I can follow through with before I publish. It also won’t be an updates-ASAP like this one was.
8972257
Yay sequel! Aw no updates asap.
8973912
Yep! It's coming... Eventually.
Sorry about the not-as-soon-as-ready updates. I've had too many stories fall victim to that kind of update schedule (Iron Mountain, Fire & Thunder, First Equestrian Armored, Crashland: Equestria, Flight to Nowhere... even Mount Nightmare, to an extent) to be willing to settle for it. I've already run into multiple points on both of my latest stories- Secret Search and Fortress Equestria- where I couldn't figure out how to continue... So I simply backtracked a few unpublished chapters and rewrote. Something I can't really do if they're not unpublished.
For that reason, the sequel will probably also be a scheduled update story (like SS or FE)... and if I'm not completely satisfied with a chapter, even on its scheduled release date, it won't be going up until I am. Sorry- only way to make sure I can keep the quality coming.
As a matter of fact, Alloyed Hope here also fell victim to that problem, a little. Good thing I never actually had to backtrack!
Please write a sequel.
9126898
Is there a list of them somewhere?
9126904
Yes...
My profile page. Crashland: Equestria, The First Equestrian Starliner, and Delivery Express are the only non-Bolo stories there.
... I suppose that means I miscounted... 12 Bolo stories overall.
9246268
It's pinky do NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE QUESTION HER!
9246280
Well of course. I'm only questioning the practicality of that long-ranged of a party weapon in a short-ranged application.
... It's like questioning the practicality of Hope's Hellbores in the various fights we've seen. Those weapons can pick starships out of orbit.
9246334
All about the amount of depression the hell-bore's have!
9246684
Yes... Since the Hellbores are anti-ground weapons that just happen to be able to pick starships out of orbit (anti-space and anti-lunar is the Hellrail), they can hit really any target the Bolo wants them to. But the use of that much firepower against squishies is more than a little overkill, right?
9246798
THERE IS NO OVERKILL!!!
9247055
Agreed. There is no overkill, just another
9342723
If he wanted to "ripple-fire", yes. Alternately, since reload time on the biggest weapons is a whopping four seconds, he doesn't even need to worry about covering while he reloads- he'll be firing another punishing Hellbore before they finish figuring out how much damage the first one did anyways!
Wait. You mean you weren't gonna close out the war with this one!? Ah well, maybe once you end the sequel, 'he' will have introduced the ponies to space travel, and the ponies help him integrate magic into his arsenal. That would be really interesting to read!
9342777
I was going to, but every time I tried to think of something past this chapter, it just stonewalled. For that same reason, a sequel is... well, unlikely. I am sorry about that.
9343023
Eh. Put it to the back burner for the time being. Wait a bit and it'll come to ya. Eventually. May be a couple more years. Beck, read through this yourself as if it weren't your fic! I find myself continuing unfinished stories in my head when I reach a cliffhanger. Don't worry though. If you do all this and still can't make it happen, the story was pretty great. Would've made it more satisfying of it was a Fall of Equestrian story. Watching in satisfaction as a massive war machine busts into King Dainn's castle. Watching as he stands to protest, only to suddenly find 80% of his body missing. Watching as he slowly dies as he watches his little empire fall. HeeheeheeheehahaahahahaahhaaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
I maaaaaaay have a problem........
9344131
Tried that... this one gave me nothing, unfortunately; there was too little story to continue the story. I technically do have a rewrite that has adequate story for continuation (A New Hope), but it’s got a different flavor to it, so I don’t know if I can really call it a rewrite. It’s stuck on writer’s block- for the same sleep-on-it-for-weeks thing.
9344640
Ah, I'll check it out and give my feedback!
This original one, in my opinion, is better than the newer rewrite/sequel. Can we get just a plain, old sequel for this one?
9356960
I actually agree XD but unfortunately, I really can't continue this one very well, as stated before
But, I daresay, I will do my best. This is, to date, my best story- by all three metrics: Like-to-dislike ratio, comment count, and comment content.
Not entirely sure why I didn't try that before- I mean, why did it take me so long? Ever since publication, there hasn't been a single month this story hasn't scored an extra like, despite not being updated for almost a whole year!
9505817
Nice work on the writing. The machine was not this godly everything goes absolutely right at all times sorts of deals. No it was character in and of itself. Had its goals and means of achieving them as well as obstacles which kept it from being the perfect 'i win' button. It was an i win button but not something which derailed its own narrative.
Grognard
This had me so engrossed in it that I stayed up to finish this.
You did a masterful job with this great story.
Monk
“She was very good at assuming the worst, he always did that but she made him look like an amateur at it." -Arelak