Sol 30
MISSION LOG – SOL 30
It’s been a very busy few days. The dirt-doubling went smoothly. The seed potatoes are in the ground. The pop-tents are up and connected to Hab air. The MAV’s fuel plant is now sitting next to the Hab, ready to compress Mars air into convenient liquid form whenever I want it. The pony ship has been stripped of most of its outer hull, along with the cargo airlock, some associated wiring, the ship’s main environmental system, four heater units, and a ton of plumbing that I have to assume is its cooling system. Site Epsilon has been thoroughly observed and documented by video (see attachments), and no major faults, sinkholes, etc. were discovered.
Today we’re all taking a day off. The ponies just finished what looked like an emergency suit drill, and it looked a lot more orderly than the total clusterfuck during the Sol 26 dust storm. In fact, they looked like a professional, well-trained, and only occasionally lethally negligent team.
I’ve forgiven them for the ballistic pebble, but I haven’t forgotten. And neither has my subconscious. I had a nightmare last night about Dragonfly and Starlight playing laser tag with their horns and me running around to patch holes in the hab canvas because Fireball had stolen all the suit helmets and buried them in a pile of gold coins.
The ponies are beginning to lose interest in the Partridge Family, since the kids stopped touring and mostly became a garage band. Last night we left off at the episode where Danny does something precocious that lands the rest of the family in trouble. I’m going to try something different today- as far from Shirley Jones and the Moppet Show as Lewis’s terrible taste in entertainment will go. After one episode of the Partridges, of course- the ponies still like the show, and it’s going to be a long four years. Any entertainment resource has to be explored.
But I have to choose something really visual for the next show. Starlight Glimmer told me this morning she won’t be using any magic for the next seven days. No more mind-meld spell. No more conversations in almost-English, except for the words she’s already learned. That’s going to make language lessons tough.
Why the cutoff? Because using Starlight’s horn to cut apart that magic metal they made their ship from has used up their batteries again. And Starlight’s plan to deal with the perchlorates in the cave soil apparently requires a lot of magic- more than she used to lift their ship out of its crash site. So she’s going to focus on conserving energy and pumping her own reserves into the batteries to save up for that.
I used our talky time to focus on water. The soil is beginning to dry back out. We’ve all been too busy with EVAs the last couple days to do anything about watering the place, and we’ve fallen behind. We probably shouldn’t even be taking today off, but it’s been one thing after another for days, and we need a breather. Tomorrow we get right back to it, because in three or four days we have to do another dirt-doubling to get the soil needed to fill the pop-tents. Starlight agreed, so tomorrow is going to be all about watering and turning the dirt.
I feel kind of strange today. This would have been my last full sol on Mars, if the mission hadn’t gone to hell on Sol 6. We’d be loading the MAV with the select soil and rock samples and labeling the rest for some future expedition a hundred years from now to pick up. We’d be talking about rendezvous with Hermes on Mission Day 156 and the two hundred and forty day return flight to Earth. Lewis would be in charge, NASA would be looking over our shoulders on a ten minute time delay, and I would be wrapping up my Mars science, following orders, and having the best time of my life.
Instead I’m getting ready to play movie theater operator (without popcorn) for five aliens who are going to run out of food in another fifty-five sols unless we make a whole lot of miracles happen. And I’m doing science while my guests are doing magic, not because NASA says so, but because we want to still be here when Ares IV arrives on Sol 1412.
It’s a melancholy thing to think about.
I mock Lewis’s taste in entertainment, but given how incredibly silly the descriptions are for these shows, maybe she had the right idea.
I just had a thought. Lewis is apparently obsessed with the 1970s, and Johannsen’s Beatles collection plus the collected works of Agatha Christie make it clear she’s an Anglophile. So why couldn’t they have joined forces and brought to Mars the absolute pinnacle of television entertainment- Doctor Who? It’s 1970s kitsch with a British accent and the kind of horror mixed with optimism that would really get an astronaut out of the space hammock every morning. And the 1970s were the time of Jon Pertwee and Tom friggin’ Baker- the two best Doctors ever who weren’t David Tennant!
Not to mention we could really, really use a TARDIS right now. It wouldn’t even need to be able to fly. I’d just want all that interior space, including the giant wardrobe full of clean clothes and- gasp- individual bedrooms.
Individual bedrooms. Such luxury. I could even forego the swimming pool in the middle of the library.
Okay. Enough moping. We’ve done family, so how about some action that doesn’t require much talking to explain? Dukes of Hazzard it is.
MISSION LOG – SOL 30 (2)
Car jumps, dynamite arrows, and humans acting silly. The ponies are a bit confused, but the bug and the dragon love it- especially the dragon.
I have apparently just changed Fireball’s opinion of my entire species. I’m now his best friend in the entire world. (Okay, there’s only five choices he could have, but still…)
Also, I now know the pony word for “car”. I know because Dragonfly said it, and within a second all four of the other aliens said in the same breath the pony word for “NO”. I don’t regret teaching the ponies how to operate the airlocks, but I don’t think I’ll teach them to drive the rovers any time soon…
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This story is a delight to read.
I had a thought regarding being able to take a break from writing on this (glorious) monstrosity. Have a guest-chapter event. Have people send you some CSP/Maretian shorts, you pick the best and post them under a "non-canon" chapter tag.
I'll admit to laughing at this.
It occurred to me here that there's another complication with this scenario. When someone makes a real mistake, things are going to go south fast.
In the original story (book especially), Watney makes a lot of mistakes, several of which negatively impact his chances of survival. And in that situation he had no one to blame but himself. But that's not the case anymore.
We're already seeing his reaction to a near-miss with the transmutation attempt. When someone inevitably screws up in a way they can't fix, I foresee things getting nasty, candy-colored ponies or no.
8677764
They need to changeling proof it.... Who knows what could go wrong.
I look forward to the next chapter.
You made a Doctor Who reference that wasn't some overused Time Turner cameo.
You are now one of my favorite authors on this site.
I predict explosions, come tomorrow.
This reminds of one of the things I have on my season 8 wishlist. A Starlight song. We haven't had one since the middle of season 6.
Finally, someone who remembers the awesomeness of Tom Baker and Pertwee.
8677798 Don't be too quick to complement me. I've been toying for two years now with doing a Doctor Whooves story: "The Five Derpies." I just haven't quite been able to make the plot hold together yet.
8677820 My favorite Doctor is actually Patrick Troughton.
8675694
Just because Changelings are able to maintain and repair their physical form with the "material" that emotions provide doesn't necessarily mean that those same materials can be refined into all possible products of a changeling. We've already seen Dragonfly create changeling goo directly after consuming physical food in this story, so it's not like this is new information.
And the relationship between Tom Baker, and The Martian?
Potatoe.
Somehow I'm not surprised that the Duke boys turned around Fireball's opinion of humanity.
8677822
He was good, I liked him far more than the later Doctors in the original run.
Make sure to pace yoursaelf, even if you eventually have to drop the daily updates. This is amazing, and as a massive fan of both The Martian (I read the book after seeing the film) and MLP, I believe you are the only person on Fimfiction who could do this story justice. That fact that it's also tied into Changeling Space Profram just makes it even more awesome.
8677822 Troughton was the best
People are right to talk about Tomb of the Cybermen being great, but I always thought the War Games was the best of his run.
Though Tom Baker isn't necessarily the best person to have with you on Mars. Even Tennant kind of let the base explode during his visit
Did you know that elephants consider humans cute?
Yup, as we were little hairy high pitched hiperactive balls of fluff always jumping from one place to another.
You know it's true because it's on the internet
8678158 Troughton suffers because (a) more than half his stories were lost to the BBC tape recycling purge, and (b) one hell of a lot of his stories had... put politely... substandard scripts. Tomb of the Cybermen, for example, was about as subtle in its scripting as a 1970s strip club neon sign. To make it worse, the supporting cast for the story were below par even by 1960s BBC standards. It's Troughton (and to a lesser extent Fraser Hines as Jaimie- the two were one of the best two-person acts in science fiction) who carried that story and sold it by making the Doctor really, really believe in every moment of it.
My vote for best 2nd Doctor story is "The Invasion". Alas, currently out of print on DVD.
Wonder if we might see some drama with Mark actually getting really pissed with the equestrians. I know he's an astronaut and a pretty good natured guy so he's probably not going to just flip out. But I could see someone who's used to NASA level professionalism getting very peeved with magical aliens almost destroying the base every other week. (Because it'll be a miracle if the base doesn't get exploded by magical shenanigans at least once before this is over.) Plus the whole carefully selecting people who are going to work as close to perfectly as possible together thing has pretty well been blown out the airlock at this point.
8678236 In what I wrote today I included a line: "... fled for the rover, where Starlight and I had what the diplomats call 'a frank and open exchange of ideas.'"
So yeah, that day is coming sooner than you thought.
8678343
Yeah it's kind of interesting seeing the dynamic here. We have a guy who is the result of 70 years spent perfecting astronaut training to a positively inhuman degree. And we have the result of Equis' thoroughly insane and incredibly new space program really kind of jumping the gun on the whole interplanetary travel idea before even the most senior space program members had more than a few years experience.
As a professional gardener, something that keeps occurring to me...how is that they're not constantly compacting the soil in the hab as they are walking on it, especially given how shallow it is? I could see the ponies, and Cherry Berry especially, maybe having some magic to prevent it, but Mark wouldn't. Are there paths? If so, then they're not using the full 92 square meters. Then again, you've already said they aren't using space assigned for bunks, worktables, the shower, eating table, closets, and the compost bin. Not to mention space assigned to equipment and mechanical and the like. That probably knocks off at least a quarter of the 92 meters right there, not including paths. So maybe more like 60 square meters?
Another thought; why Mark didn't pull the ol' 'stranded-on-a-desert-island' stichk and take a bunch of big rocks and spell out the words "I'm still here!" or "HELP!" for the satellites to see. Then again, I guess he figures the satellites have already noticed the alien spaceship they moved right next door anyway, huh?
8678162
That's adorable. Not exactly sure how it's relevant to space ponies but it's adorable nonetheless.
8678383 And here you ask a question the book either ignored or overlooked.
At the moment Watney's just barely planted the eyes of his starting potatoes, plus about half a square meter of alfalfa. In the book, when Airlock 1 blew, Watney counted some 400 potato plants. 92 square meters is close enough to 100 square yards to be going on with, so it amounted to an average of one potato plant every 18 inches if they were spread out. That leaves enough room for rows and paths, which Watney would need regardless to care for the plants.
As it is, the dirt is getting an almost complete turning and overhaul every six days for the "dirt-doubling" infecting Mars dirt with Earth/Equestria bacteria. Compaction of soil is not likely to be an issue.
8678383 Also, the 92 sq. m. is taking into account all furniture and equipment.
I think we can all agree that meeting David Tennant would be better than meeting the president.
8677805
She hasn't even had a non villian song come to think of it.
8678392
That makes some sense, but I'm kinda confused about the soil turning. Are they going to stop that once an area has been planted, and if not, wouldn't it disturb the crops? But using rows as paths is a good idea, if they're wide enough in certain places. It'd still compact the soil in certain places though, even with regular turning (not that there'd be much reason to turn soil in the pathways at any rate, since you'd just end up stepping on the seedlings).
Mark, please, for the sake of Starlight's magic, put on 'The Electric Company'. CTW will never steer you wrong.
you can never go wrong with the Dukes of Hazard
also, it is interesting that he is learning some pony words... him being able to speak Equish, as well as Starlight learning English, will be helpful in the long term
8679201 Watney can recognize some pony words, but he can't replicate certain vowels. The ponies, on the other hand, have no trouble with any of the sounds of English.
8678514 I am not a professional grower, nor do I have a master's degree in botany (or, as the movie has it, a doctorate), but Watney does. And beyond a certain point I'm not going to detail the farming process. Just take it for granted that, on purely agricultural grounds, Watney can solve those issues.
8679243
Ah okay, from the ponies perspective I'd thought he went pale cause he was embarrassed or something and didn't want to explain it after the ponies panicked so he used double entendres like "too weak to be dangerous" and "rising fissures" my mind connected that with a fart joke for some reason.
Watney mentioned Doctor Who to the pones. Pones blink at each other, then draw a Police Barn with a crude figure of a brown pony wearing a green tie waving from the door.
Watney is in disbelief, until a familiar sound is heard from within the dome. "Alonsy!" declares the brown pony, rushing in and hesitating before Watney, "Word of advice: don't drink the water from the underground glacier. It has a very disagreeable personality." He's followed by a cross-eyed grey mare...
8678162 And then an elephant has the hots for someone... it does not end well for the squished human.
I only read a little bit of Changeling Space Program, but given what I read, and knowing about Kerbal Space Program, I think I know exactly why they reacted that way.
8679841 Dragonfly, as a pilot, would be considered an adrenalin junkie even by Kerbal standards.
IT's probably a good thing he didn't find this movie in the list:
I think he'd have the entire crew, short Starlight, a little crazy after that.
Ah, Dragonfly pulling Dukes off Hazard in a mars rover...
8680071
So.... Jeb?
(I am very behind on this story.)
Ow, burn
Not familiar with it, but I'll just assume that's sarcasm and that happens about every episode?
Wasn't too hard to guess, really. Lots of heavy magicking going on these days.
Ahh, ow. Yeah, that'd be a bit painful.
Aw. Not Monty Python? They started in '69!
Hee.
I bet
331... *checks chapter index* ...independence day, actually
Doesn't surprise me one bit
Remarks and corrections:
> It’s a melancholy thing to think about.
Shouldn't that be "a [melancholic] thing"?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. As a Whovian I approve, love it
Sounds about right..
At least there mental health seem to be fine. Thank Faust for small mercys.
Hands/hooves down, the Holy Scarf Wearer is THE BEST Doctor EVER!
10683254
agreed
Dragonfly needs more Cuddlebug action.
This story is awesome. What would it look like in a 'Subnautica' or 'Subnautica below Zero' setting?
11478600
Bruh, I have seen you in literally every damn chapter so far, MULTIPLE TIMES. You good? You seem to be unhealthily obsessed with subnautica.